Monthly Archives: December 2011

Brilliance in Storytelling – A writer’s Review of “Super 8”

I mentioned before that I watch movies very differently now.  If I realize half way through that I am really enjoying it (or not enjoying it), I start to analyze why and I try to wiggle the plot into “rules” of storytelling.  Wow, did Super 8 hit the mark!

Now, mild disclaimer… I am easily entertained.  I love explosions and chase scenes.  Put them in your movie and it’s pretty hard to put me off.  I’ll even ignore bad acting.  But recently I HAVE BEEN bored while watching big blockbuster movies.

Let’s talk for just a minute about the second and third Transformers movies, just to make my point.  Giant battling robots… what’s not fun about that?  Well, what was “not fun” was the poor storytelling, poor characterization, and really poor attention to plot.  These movies were about the explosions.  Period.  I really didn’t care if any of the characters got killed, because I was not emotionally engaged with them.  Also, the plots were not solid and easy to follow.  There was no “meat” behind them to back up the explosions and action.  Even with everything that was going on, I was bored and watching the clock… hoping it would be over soon.

Now, are there explosions and chase scenes in Super 8?  Yes of course, and the special effects are great… but it was more than that.

The writers sat down and thought this movie over.  They followed all the rules.  Sometimes maybe unbelievably so, but for some reason it still worked for me.

General Plot:  (No spoilers)  This kid (not the MC) really wants to make a movie to enter a contest.  He gets his friends to help him.  While they are filming the movie, a train de-rails right in front of them.   Something HUGE breaks out of one of the de-railed cars.  The army comes and takes over their town while they try to clean up.  Something nasty starts attacking people.  The original kid pulls everyone together, and uses the chaos happening around as a backdrop to his film.

Okay, I can’t tell you much more without spoiling it.

(Forgive me, I’m not good with names)

MC lost his mother recently.  His father, the deputy, is not really coping well with being a single father

MC meets a girl while making the movie. They like each other.

The girl’s father (a drunk) and the boy’s father (deputy) don’t like each other

The girl and her father don’t get along at all.

Secondary Characters:

One of the friends likes to blow up things

One throws up a lot

One is a wimp and always gives in

The kid making the movie never gives up

The teacher who causes the train accident (the mentor, who inadvertently lets us all know what is really going on)

The General (might have title wrong) who is heading the crash investigation (bad guy)

The “Big Nasty” Attacking people

Now this is what I was mulling over after this movie…  EVERYTHING gets tied up.  Again, some I might not completely believe as a long-reaching emotional fix…  But for the sake of this story, it worked… and I was left thinking “Wow”.

Also, almost every character has a concrete reason for being there, and being “the way they are”.  The only thing that was unnecessary was the kid throwing up all the time.  That served no purpose and could have been removed… but the others all dragged the story forward.

There were separate “real life” plots going on while this big event was ripping up their tiny little town.  Every “Real Life” plot was sewn up, as well as the main “creature” plot.  (Even the kid making the movie gets sewn up, if you stay for the closing credits)

Most of the main characters experience that “change” that is necessary in storytelling.  This is one thing that struck me very hard.

The MC’s Father has a change (two, actually)

The Girl’s father has a change

The Girl has a change

The MC has a change

Someone else on the list has a change because of MC intervention.  (Don’t want to give a spoiler)

Every stinking thing that was presented was resolved, and in a very satisfactory way.  Everything that happens (except for the puking) has a reason for happening.  Even the wimpy kid that “gives in” had a role in getting one of the main characters to where he needed to go… just by being how he is.

From a writer’s perspective, this movie is brilliant.  Even if there were not any explosions or chase scenes, I think I would feel the same way.  For the first time in a long time, I was left thinking, “Wow, I wish I wrote that.”

Now, to give it one negative, if the kids were not cursing all the time this would have been a great movie for my kids… great action, and a theme of overcoming your fear to do the right thing. (Among a family friendly theme that would be a spoiler if I told you)    Unfortunately, my kids will have to wait until they are teenagers because of these kids’ mouths (Except for the MC, who didn’t curse at all.  Kudos.)

If you’ve seen this movie, think it over.  Every little thing was well planned.  Everything used, everything sewn up.

If you have not seen this movie, jump up and rent it.  It is not “all action” and it is not “really scary” and there is no gore.  I think it is enjoyable across genres, because this is really NOT A MONSTER MOVIE.  It is about interpersonal dynamics in a time of intense struggle.

I think everyone should give this one a watch, and pay very close attention to the storytelling.  Personally, I was floored.

Jennifer Eaton

Merry Day after Christmas and Happy Boxing Day!

It is the day after Christmas. Time to go crazy returning things for some. For me, it was the day to visit with my family.

Boxing day is always, “Christmas, Take Two” for us, as we spend Christmas with my husband’s family, and Boxing Day with my family. (Although we don’t officially celebrate Boxing Day in the USA)

So, through the flurry of presents, and hugs and frivolity, there were no words of wisdom to be had, other than Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards Man, or Woman , or dog (There were four 45 lb+ poodles and an 80 lb golden doodle in the house today. Great fun!)

Summer, Kasha, Chloe (The Silver - Mine), Mitsy (Chloe's Mom Laying), and Kairos (Chloe's Brother)

Regular Monday posts come back next week. (Well, maybe. It’s New Years… We’ll have to see) Now, I’m going to bed to recover.

Hope you had a Blessed Christmas and a very Happy Boxing Day!

Are you going to send out queries during Christmas break?

I’ve spoken to a lot of people who are finishing up their novels (some of them from Nano) and are going to query their brains out during their Christmas vacations.

Me?  Nope!  No Way!

First of all, even though I am done, I want to get one more round of good solid beta reads in.  But there is another reason.

I remember reading something a long time ago that made a ton of sence, and it really stuck with me.  Oddly enough, I came across the article by accident the other day.  (The link is below) Re-reading it again made me feel even better about my timeline skipping right over Christmas and starting to query in a few months.

Nathan made some really good points in this article.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with Nathan Bransford, he used to be an agent, but recently left the agenting business and is now an author.

Nathan said there are not any good or bad times to query, with two exceptions.  You can read the full article below, but for those of you who are terrified of little links, here it is in a nutshell:

Don’t query if you know the agent is out of the office. Also don’t query around major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, Hanukkah, etc.

The reason is that many people have off, and a lot of them are using their time to send out queries… to agents that are not there because they are on vacation, or are leaving for vacation.  This means the agents are rushing through their submissions so they can finish before they leave, or they are just coming back to a pile of work that they have to RACE THROUGH to get caught up.

As Nathan said “take it from me — you don’t want to be part of a massive query pile when an agent is feeling a time crunch.”

“Ideally, sure, we’d give all queries equal time, consider every one similarly, whether we’re reading a pile of 10 or a pile of 500.  Ideally. 

“Reality: human nature is human nature.  When faced with a mountain that feels like it won’t move, you start moving a little quicker, take fewer chances, etc. etc.  I really aspire to keep a constant pace regardless of my workload, but it’s hard not to adjust how many partials you’re requesting based on how much work awaits.”

“Just don’t do it.  Avoid the weeks around major holidays.  It’s better to be part of a trickle than a flood. “

I think these are sound words of advice, especially since he wrote this when he was still an agent.

So, are you querying now?  Are you planning on querying next week?   Please, by all means do!  (She grins and giggles with her evil witch laugh)

I will be more than happy to tip-toe over you lightly in a few months if you are sitting in the slush pile.

Please check out Nathan Bransford’s site, and his first novel, Jacob Wonderbar.

Nathan Brandsford:  Is there a best time to Query?

Lesson Twenty-One from a Manuscript Red Line: Common, and Cliché Themes

This one made me laugh.  There is a point in the Gold Mine manuscript where a secondary lead character finds out that someone is his father.  His reaction is “You’re . . . my . . . father?” (minor action element for dramatic effect). “My father?”

What made me laugh is that the publisher said “This immediately bought to mind Star Wars”

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

Now, I actually did not think “Star Wars” when I read it, but there is another element in this story that has since been removed…  My son and I (he also read the manuscript) were talking about this other element, and my husband said:  “She stole that from Star Wars!”  I was thinking it in the back of my head, but he verbalized it very well.

The problem is, Star Wars is not just a story that was written over thirty years ago.  It is a piece of Americana.  There are too many people in the USA, and in the world, who have seen Star Wars… even memorized it.  You simply CANNOT mess with themes like that anymore, unless you are careful.

Now, is this to say that no person will ever find out about questionable parentage again in literature?  No, of course not.  However, you need to be VERY CAREFUL when you do it.  Like this publisher stated in an earlier post… Find the uniqueness in what is not unique.

You need to make this your own.  When they read your tear-jerking scene, they should see only your characters in their minds, not Luke laying on that platform and then falling down the shaft.  If an element has been used before, and notably so, work that scene harder than any other scene.  Make sure, without a doubt, that the element is now YOURS.  Make them forget all about Luke Skywalker.

 

 Jennifer Eaton

Is your novel safe? The Copyright Question.

As many of you know, I am about to send my novel out for the final polishing round of beta-reads.  A few people have asked me, “Is that safe?” or “Are you going to copyright it first?”

The answers to those questions are:  Yes, it is safe, and No, I will not be copyrighting it first.  Let me explain…

I had the same hesitation when I first started sending to Beta Partners a little over a year ago.  I read a few articles that said not to worry about it.  The one I trusted the most was Nathan Bransford, who said there is too much of an electronic trail for anyone to be able to easily steal your work.

Recently, when I had the opportunity to discuss the topic with Best Selling Author Jonathan Mayberry.  He said that many publishers will not even deal with you if you have already copyrighted the work.  (Although Danielle Ackley McPhail admitted to getting her first novel copyrighted first and not having any problem.)

When I was a kid, before the World Wide Web was in everyone’s homes (Wow, did I just date myself)  The way to “Protect Yourself” without actually copyrighting your novel was to get a printed copy, seal it in an envelope, and mail it to yourself.  Then don’t break the seal when you get it.  This way there is an official post mark on it.  This would probably work today.  However, there are easier ways in this new Cyber-Era.  And I am guessing a lot of you don’t know it, but you are already protected.

Jonathan Mayberry pointed out that YOUR HARD DRIVE is admissible as evidence.  Where is your novel stored and date-tagged?  On your hard drive?  Well, lookey there!

You can also simply email your novel to yourself, and then save the email.  Boom!  There’s your date stamp.

Are you worried about your Beta Readers stealing it?  Did you just email it to them?  Guess what?  That email is evidence that it was yours first.  There are just too many electronic data trails out there today to make it easy to steal someone else’s work.

I’ve also protected myself unintentionally by getting my novel printed on-line so my sister could read it. (Just a copy, it was not published)  It was cheaper than going to Kinko’s or using up my toner.  So there is a permanent record on file with that company.

These are all ways you can protect yourself.  You can, of course go for the copyright, but after hearing Jonathan’s comment that some publishers will not look at you if you are copyrighted, I’d be cautious (maybe check the requirements of some publishers, first)

If you do copyright, be prepared that you will have to “re-copyright” once your actual final draft is approved by your publisher.  Anyone who thinks their novel is so perfect that there will be no changes at all is just being foolish.

Note:  You might want to be careful if the publisher copyrights for you, to make sure that you still own the copyright.  If you will not, make sure you and your lawyers are comfortable with that agreement.

If you are self-publishing, you need to make a choice.  I think I’d copyright before I self-published.  It’s easy to do, and doesn’t really cost that much.  You also don’t have to wait to hear back from them.  You are good to go as soon as you hit the submit button.

Disclaimer:  I am not a lawyer, and I am in no way qualified to give legal advice.  These are just my opinions based off what professionals I have met (or read) have offered as advice.  If you have any real concerns, talk to your agent or lawyer.

Hope you find this helpful!

Lesson Twenty from a Manuscript Red Line: Don’t make things so easy

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

In the Gold Mine Manuscript, there is a point where the MC is thrust into the magical world.  He has been there for a few days, and suddenly he is faced with an animal that can speak to him through their minds.

In concept, this is fine.  However, the publisher red-lined that the MC was “too accepting” of this.  The MC just jumped in and said “okay, no problem” – well, he didn’t say it that way, but he jumped right on board.

The publisher said that it would be okay for the characters who were born into this world to be fine with this, but the MC should not accept so easily.  A few paragraphs later, the MC also tells his friend  that there’s nothing to be afraid of, and that he’s harmless… they red-lined that too.

Think of it this way… if you ran into a guy in the street, and just started talking to him for a few minutes, would you be willing to risk your life, and your best friend’s life in trusting this person, or would you be a little wary?  Now make this person a really large mythical animal.  Getting nervous yet?

Be careful that you don’t put your own knowledge into your character’s heads before that knowledge is learned.  You as the author know there is nothing to fear, but to make it realistic, your character’s “trust” needs to be earned to a degree.  Let relationships develop so they seem more natural and believable.  Don’t take the easy way out to move your story ahead more quickly.

Think over your novel.  Have you done anything like this?

Jennifer Eaton

Row80 — I Finished My Novel!!!!!!

Well, the Header post says it all.

I am all grins and giggles galore.

Can you guys see me smiling all the way in Argentina?  Canada?  UK?  Well, if you were wondering what that bright light was here in the USA its ME!

Here are the final stats for all you who’ve been traveling this journey with me.

109,812 words, 411 pages

I was trying to edit down to 100,000, but that was just so I could submit to a single publisher who maxes out at 100,000.  I started this mad edit at about 120,000 words, and when I got it to where it is now, I decided to heck with it.  This is my novel, and it is perfect.  Taking anything else out at this point would make the story suffer.  I will always take creative critisizm, and am ready for it, but this is where I am staying for now.

Edit stats:

65,724 words cut from the first draft.  That’s 233 pages.  Funny, I think the first draft was only a little over 350 pages.  It shows you what kind of roller coaster ride you can take on the way to perfection.

My Row 80 goal for the end of the year was to finish HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT, and here I am.  Wow.  What an amazing feeling.

I’m going to submit my one and only recent Short Story to a magazine shortly.  I have a few comments from Betas to look over, and am waiting for my “subject matter expert” to get back to me to make sure I didn’t make any mistakes.

I need to pick some new beta readers and “just plain readers” to do one last read of HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT now that it is complete.  Some of it has been changed so drastically that no one but me has read many of the chapters, and I need to take my own advice and NEVER query anything that hasn’t been fully and completely Beta-Read.

Anyone interested?

If you are, send me an email.  (there’s a “contact” button in my header bar.)  I better note that I can’t do a mutual beta exchange with EVERYONE who follows this blog.  I’m not Wonder Woman (although my kids think I am) but I can take on 5 Beta partners if you think your manuscrupt is ready.

Thanks everyone for your support.  I hope your week has been as exciting!

Editing, Editing, and then, well, MORE EDITING-Advice from Publisher Authors

At a recent NJ Author’s talk on “Getting Published” (Click here to read my post from that night), many authors on the panel spoke about the importance of editing.  No brainer, right?  Well, you might be surprised.

There are a lot of people out there who have written a “great story” and sent it right out to agents, burned their bridges, and never had a beta read.  I know you are nodding your head.  Hopefully it’s because you KNOW someone, and you are not the culprit.

I ALMOST did this around a year and a half ago (Wow, has it been that long already?)  I finished HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT.  I edited the heck out of it with only my own input, and I was about to send it out.  I had trouble finding someone to read it for me, and I was confident, so I was going to skip this step…. but something told me to go out and find a beta reader.  I found a guy I didn’t know, and we exchanged manuscripts.  That’s when I found out that I had a great story **Yay**, HOWEVER, my presentation stank.

Author Jon Gibbs said “People send their work off too soon” He noted that when we read someone else’s work, we read what they wrote.  (Duh, right?)  Well think this over — When we read our OWN work, we read what we THINK WE WROTE.

How true is this?  I never noticed my lack of setting or character description, because I KNEW what everything looked like.  (Among many other problems my beta reader pointed out)  You really need to get a few people to look at your novel while you are editing to make sure you are writing what you THINK you are writing.  It actually took me about four beta readers to whack me upside the head and set me straight on this.

Jennifer R. Hubbard admitted that she didn’t edit enough when she started out, and that she was getting rejections.  The book she revised 12 times and had others read was the one that got published.  (I guess she is talking about “The Secret Year”)

Danielle Ackley McPhail suggested having different kinds of readers in the editing phase… Beta readers will help make your writing better, and “just plain readers” will tell you if the story flows and is enjoyable.  She also suggested making sure one of your “just readers” is someone who does not normally read your genre to get a different perspective.

So, if you are like me, and have people in your life pushing you to get your stuff out there… stick to your guns.  Do your beta-read drills.  Edit after their comments, and then DO MORE BETA READ DRILLS.

I am excited to say that I am sending out HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT for the third round of beta-reads (and three “just plain readers”) shortly.  After six beta readers, and editing and revising it with reckless abandon for well over a year, I think I’ve finally really written what I think I’ve written.  If not, I have full confidence that my readers will “Let me have it”.

I am going to look for new readers too, so I can get some fresh perspectives.  I am really looking forward to seeing if all this hard work has paid off!

Jennifer Eaton

Brenda Drake Contest Entry: Can we guess your character’s age?

Brenda Drake’s blog is hosting a contest on your manuscript’s first 250 words.  The contest is open to all genres.  All you need to do is post your first 250 words on your Blog on December 8th so everyone can read and comment.  You cannot tell the title or genre.  Your work needs to stand on its own.

After you get feedback from your followers and other contestants, make any changes you think are necessary, and when you are ready, email your final entry to Brenda by midnight December 10th.

Finalists will be chosen by Brenda and her gang of word lovers, and the three winners will be chosen by Gabriela Lessa, a professional editor and literary agent assistant

The winners get free editing.  Not too shabby.

Without further ado… here’s the beginning of my novel.

Can you guess my characters age?  If you already know how old he is, does it sound right?

*****************************************************************

“I’m not gonna sit here locked in a closet all day.” Magellan pulled away from his mother, leaving his whimpering brothers and sisters clinging to her skirts.

“Magellan, come back here.”

“No. I wanna hear Dad’s speech.” He pressed his cheek against a large crack in the door and closed one eye.  Sconces lit the long stone hallway that lead to the auditorium. “I wish I could see something.”

“Get back mine scum!” A guard threw something against the door, slamming the wood against his face.

“Ouch,” Magellan rubbed his cheek. “Jerk.”

Footsteps clomped away, and his mother exhaled. “Magellan, your father said…”

“I know what he said.” Magellan furled his eyebrows.  “Right before they locked us in here.”  He flicked a bug from the damp stone wall beside him. “I’m not a baby anymore. I want to help.”

He ran his fingers across the locking plate, and jumped as flames flashed across the metal, spinning and swirling around it.  What was that?  Nothing in the room could have made that reflection.  He wrinkled his nose and reached for the lock again, but it fell right into his hand before he could even touch it.

“What the…” The door swung open by itself.  Magellan gasped.  “What’s going on?”

He leaned out, and carefully considered the three guards arguing at the far end of the hallway.

The Goddess must be with me today! he thought.

He placed his hand on the doorframe, and his mother stood.  “Magellan Talbot, don’t you dare!”

A Christmas Tail by Susie Lindau

A Christmas TailJust some light reading on a Stormy wet December night (on the East Coast USA)

Warning:  Get your tissues ready.  This is a great story for anyone whose lost a pet, especially near the holidays.

Nice job, Suzie.  Click below to read Suzie’s story A Christmas Tail.