Monthly Archives: July 2012

Yay! It’s my favorite Day of the Week! It’s Write a Story with Me day! Part Five

Write a Story with Me! Is going full-throttle.

Are we having fun yet!  The answer is “Yes!”

So… What’s happened so far?

Part 1: Twelve year old Marci picked a leaf off a hallowed tree.

Part 2: She runs home and sees her pregnant mother and little sister Lauren greeting her father’s flying ship, one of the Planetary Raiders from a long voyage.  Marci gives the leaf to Janelle, a tiny person who emerges from a hole in the floor.

Part 3: Bethany (and older sister) is introduced. She is the villain of our story, and very jealous of her sister Marci.  She sneaks back home from greeting her father, and eavesdrops on Marci.  She discovers the illegal fairy, and prepares to use the information against her sister.

Part 4: Bethany is carted off by fairies.  A big scary beetle-fairy tells Janelle she has to come back to the nest with him. (He’s Janelle’s brother.  Janelle wants to start a new fairy nest, but her brother (Janosc) does not want her to do it, because a fairy queen is like an ant queen. Janelle says they need to start a new nest because their world is in danger.

Part 5: The next installment comes from the wonderful Miss Eileen Snyder.  No need to click a link this week.  We are posting right here!  Take it away Eileen!

Jodi looked up from the book she read and began to rub her eyes hard to a watery end. The street bench had grown rigid and hard and she shifted her weight and stretched her entire body with an audible yawn.  She plucked her eyeglasses from the crown of her head and with a minor adjustment they fit her face again.  She didn’t need them for reading; in fact she didn’t need them at all.
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 Unexpectantly, a wistful March wind tunneled the entire length of Carlisle Street. Jodi turned toward the breeze to feel it touch her skin, it was refreshing. She caught sight of the unbridled ivy leaves fluttering against the brick of antique row homes that lined the narrow easement, not much wider than an alleyway and paved in blue cobblestones, the window boxes were decorated with cold weather pansies, bright yellow and purple. Their beauty was evident but their genus was no match for the encroaching ivy that clung steadfast to the masonry bricks of Colonial Philadelphia.
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She thought of her favorite book on Greek mythology, when the Sirens of Circe flapped their leaf like wings to intimidate Odysseus and his shipmates. What lie in a hardy leaf, what purpose a leaf if it bears no flower? Does it not nourish the bud? Yet, its shiny veneer was a fitting contrast to the flat, red brick. Perhaps, a leaf does have powers!

Now It’s time to scoot on over to the Nederland’s with Mysocalleddutchlife’s Mikaela Wire for the next installment. Mikaela gets to figure out who the heck this girl is, and what Colonial Philadelphia has to do with flying ships, and fairies.  Well, I guess it all has to tie in to that leaf from installment #1. Ummm… Okay, Mikaela… better you then me.

Tag Mikaela!  You are “It”.

Here are the previous installments:

Part One – Jennifer M Eaton

Part Two – Jenny Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four by — Elin Gregory

Stop by next Tuesday to see what happens next!

Road to Publication #10: Publisher responds to my second round of “Re-edits”

Yay!  My second round or re-edits were accepted.  Next stop?  Copy editing.

I admit, I am a little nervous that cutting and pasting were done and I didn’t see the final product before it went to copy-editing.  I’m worried about formatting, punctuation, etc. before it gets there.

What I need to do is stop worrying and let this process just HAPPEN.  I will get another look at it before it’s printed.  It’s just nerve-wracking.

Copy editing should be done by early September.  Until then, I need to work on that marketing plan, and sit back and relax…

Yeah, right.  Don’t know how to do that.  I’m knee deep into my next project.  No rest for the weary writer!

It’s Six Sentence Sunday! 7-29-12 #SixSunday

It’s Six Sentence Sunday!  If you’d like to hop on board this little blog hop, or just look up more great six-sentence excerpts, visit SixSentenceSunday.com

Today I am featuring six from my own work, tentatively titled “Connect the Dots”.  I am working on revising this for submission to an anthology in the next few weeks.

The main character, Jill (an adult)  is writing a letter to Santa

I picked up the pen, and began tapping it on the paper again.

Another line of scrolling black dots appeared across the sheet.

I eased back down into my chair.

What do I want … really?

The pen began to scribble, streaming across the lines with barely a thought from the woman holding it.

Sixteen little words stared up at me, the blue ink solid and demanding on the white ruled surface… permanent.

Scoping out locations for your novel #1

First of all, if you’ve noticed that I haven’t responded to comments since Thursday, it’s because I am on a writer’s retreat.  Yay!  Another one?  Yeah, I am giving it a go.

I have higher hopes for this one, and I am not up against a super-steep deadline, so I’m not in a panic about time constraints. I’ll be back on Monday.

Okay… back to today’s topic…

In general, I am a Sci-Fi/Fantasy writer.  The settings of my stories are different planets, or fantasy worlds.  For my new novel, though, I decided to try something different.  Yes, it is Sci-Fi, but instead of taking my readers to the alien’s planet, I decided to bring the aliens here.

Has this been done before?  Yes, of course.  I’m just putting a little different spin on it that I think will be fun.

So, I need a setting.  Since we are on Earth this time, I can’t make everything up, so I am trying to force the story into buildings and locals that actually exist.

I have to admit… it’s a lot easier to write about another planet.  If I need something for the story, I just create it.  I’m grinding my teeth looking at maps and judging distances.  It’s so much easier to build a world from scratch exactly how you want it.

Where’s my setting?  I chose Southern New Jersey on the East Coast of the USA for two reasons.  #1:  I’ve been there a lot, so I can relay the “feel” of it.  #2:  I need four separate “places” for the story to develop.  South Jersey has all four.  Easy breezy, right?  Well, not entirely.

As I’ve done in the past, I’m going to split this post up into a couple of weeks, because otherwise this post will definitely get too long.  We’ll start next week with the road trip I took with my kids … driving the route my characters would be walking.

What about you guys?  Have you ever tried to develop a story from REAL places?  How’d you do?

Jon Gibbs’s Ten things I wish I knew before I was published #3: Congratulations! You stink!

Do you know how bad you stink?

If not, read “How to Write a Damn Good Novel by James N. Frey.  Jon Gibbs is at least the tenth person who has mentioned this book.  I need to get off my butt and get a copy.

Here’s what Jon had to say, taking into account what he learned from this book:

Realize that you stink.  It’s okay to stink, but once you realize just how awful you are, you need to find out what you need to learn to get better, or just up and quit.

Some people just like to write for personal reasons and don’t want to get published – like those “too much description” people.  Yes, you are writing beautiful prose, but it is probably not marketable prose within the boundaries of today’s buying trends – you need to pull the reader in right away with action.

So, if you are one of those “epic setting” people, that’s fine.  If that is what you want to do, go for it.  Just don’t expect a huge financial reward at the end of your rainbow.

Realistically, there is no pot of gold at the end of most writing rainbows, so if you are not committed to this because you love to write, chances are you will be sorely disappointed.

However, there are a handful of authors every year who shock everyone and take a roller-coaster ride to the top.

Who knows?  It might be you.

Note:  The above are Jon Gibb’s main speaking points, with my rambling opinions attached.

Jon Gibbs is the author of one of my son’s favorite books:  FUR-FACE, which was nominated for a Crystal Kite Award.

Jon is an Englishman transplanted to New Jersey, USA, where he is an ‘author in residence’ at Lakehurst Elementary School.  Jon is the founding member of The New Jersey Author’s Network and FindAWritingGroup.com.

Jon blogs at jongibbs.livejournal.com

Website: www.acatofninetales.com

EEEE Gads! Why the heck did I read a Western? A Review of Mended Hearts by Olivia Devereaux

Yeah, so, I just read this little Western story.  In general, other than non-fiction as a whole, the lump sum of everything Western (as in America’s traditional “Old West”) is at the bottom of the barrel of stuff I’d want to read… and I almost never scrape the bottom of the barrel.  So why the heck did I pick this up?

Two reasons.

Reason  #1:   I am submitting a short story to the same publisher “Still Moments Publishing” … and as any good author should do, I wanted to research something that they recently put out (April 2012 in this case.)

Okay, so …  this publisher has tons of titles…

why pick something you know you won’t like?

Reason #2:  A little bird told me that this story was submitted for consideration in an anthology, but they did not think it was a good fit.

However…. They liked it so much they wanted to publish it as a stand-alone.  They even created a new “western” category to their offered listings to slip it into.

All this drew my attention, so I bit the bullet (Tee Hee) and resisted my urge to cringe at the [very stark, boring and very western] cover.   I bopped over to Amazon and popped a copy into my Kindle.

Here’s the jist of this 28-ish page story:  A family is living out in the middle of nowhere.  Dad gets hit by a stray bullet and dies.  The next day the son finds another guy (a stranger) in their barn bleeding from a gunshot wound.  The widow takes him in and cares for him, hoping that when he wakes up he will be able to tell her what happened to her husband.

Yeah… boring.  Not a spaceship in sight.  However…

 Let me tell you something …  I think this lady could probably re-write Humpty Dumpty and be able to get my attention.  Within a few pages, I totally forgot how much I hate the Old West as a genre.  I was completely absorbed in the story, and emotionally connected to the characters.

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Oh! Let’s not get carried away there.  Reign yourself in, Buckaroo!

Normally I have a laundry list of things to pick out.  You know… general writer’s mistakes that make me cringe.

In this novel?

NADA.  NONE.  ZILCHO.

I bow down to the writing Gods and say “Why Why Why can’t everyone write this cleanly!”

The writing was crisp, fresh and for the first time this year – NO TYPOS.  Yay!  Extra cookie just for that, because that has really been ticking me off lately.

So, what was wrong with it?  I had to rack my brain, but I will nit-pick on two very minor things.

Number one:  This woman’s husband just died.  She is still has dirt on her skirt from burying him… and this other guy shows up.  She is instantly attracted to him (but at least feels guilty about it.)  This is what bothered me about this:  She is portrayed as really loving her husband.  So, I put myself in her shoes …  If my husband just died a few hours ago, I would barely be able to look at a man … let alone find one attractive.  I just found that unrealistic. – subtract half a cookie.

Number Two:  I hate when names sound alike.  It confuses me.  Maybe it is because my eyes read quickly, and only pick up certain letters, but this is just a pet peeve of mine.  The Woman’s name is Ella, and her son’s name is Eli.  Now, I realize this may have been one of those “name your kid after you” things,  but every time I hit “Eli” my eyes read “Ella” and I had to go back and re-read because I got confused.  –Subtract another half a cookie

So, for these two nit-picky things, I am nibbling away at one full cookie.

Yeeee Hawwww!

I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this little-ditty, yes-sir-eee.  If the writing were poor… if it had not flowed so well, and if the characters were not so well rounded, I may have remembered I was in a Western.  If the chemistry between the Widow and the patient wasn’t so dern good, I would have been annoyed by her initial attraction to him for longer than a page.

The writing was just dern good.

So, what’s the verdict?  She lost one cookie in the creamy bad stuff section.  And, sorry, it’s the rules … I need to take away another due to lack of explosions.  So that leaves three out of five cookies.

Oh!  Wait Jennifer!  You gave her an extra cookie for having no typos!

Well, yes-sir-eee you’d be right about that, Buckaroo.  That is a grand total of Four out of Five Oreos for Mended Hearts by Olivia Devereaux.

[She cringes]  Ewwwwweeee!  I just gave a nice review to a Western.  What is this world coming to????

Flash Fiction Friday on Wednesday – Be careful what you wish for

This is the character study I did for my character “Jessica” in my new WIP, Fire in the Woods.  I wrote this just to get a “feel” for her before I got started with the story.

The story ended up going in another direction, but this was the basis/starting point of her character. (As well as the rest of the story)

Jess lay in the grass.  The stars of a billion galaxies sparkled in the night sky above.  When she was little, and her parents fought, she’d hide in the backyard, and the constellations would keep her company.  Since her parent’s divorce five years ago, not even the stars could console her.  Instead, they made her feel insignificant, small, and alone.

A shooting star’s tail lit up the night and disappeared from view.  She closed her eyes, and wished with all her might.  She wished for someone who could understand her, for someone to love her.

She wished for someone to appear, and change her life forever.

…Be careful what you wish for.

Write A Story with me! Installment #4

Write a Story with Me! Is off and running.

If you missed out on all the hoopla last week, there is a list of links below so you can catch up.  This week  Elin Gregory  really mixes it up with some unexpected elements, and a brand new plot line.

Now It’s Eileen’s turn to figure out how to build on that last line, twirling us back to that sneaky leaf element.

Tag Eileen!  You are “It”.

Hope over here to  Elin Gregory to see the latest, or catch up with the story from the posts below.

Here are the previous installments:

Part One – Jennifer M Eaton

Part Two – Jenny Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four by — Elin Gregory

Stop by next Tuesday to see what happens next!

Road to Publication #9: Publisher responds to my “Re-edits”

Well, overall they liked the changes.  Yay!  There were four things they felt strongly about.

#1 They thought an eleven year old girl would not say “You’re a jerk”.  They wanted to change it to “You’re mean”.  Okay, I guess that’s all right.  It’s not as funny, but I’ll go with it.  At least they agreed to put that scene back in. (They originally wanted to completely remove it.)

#2 They wanted to change up a scene where three characters were talking.  They sent me an excerpt of what they wanted to do, but I couldn’t put my mind around it.  I needed to ask to see the changed manuscript.

#3 In the climax, they felt strongly about the way it happened.  Apparently, I did not “show” it well enough to give them a clear picture.  I took some things for granted, and I supposed it backfired.  They wanted to change it to the way they “thought” it had happened, which really wouldn’t be all that big a deal, but I didn’t think what they suggested was even physically possible.  I tried re-writing the scene, and asked them if I’d done a better job of expressing what happened.

#4 They did not like my last word.  Not the sentence… just the last word.  I thought if they had a problem with the ending, that they’d want to trash the last six words.  But nope.  Just the last word.

The problem is that changing the last word to what they wanted would change the entire tone of the story.  It is also a poetic ending, and it was not the right amount of syllables.  I know… that sounds really stupid. You’ll understand when you see it.

I suggested a different word that I think expressed what they wanted, but with the correct amount of syllables.  We’ll see what happens.

Overall, I think I am happy at the moment.  I would really like to read it one more time to make sure everything is okay.  I feel helpless… not having the version that they are working off of right in front of me, and I don’t like okaying things piece-meal.

Six Sentence Sunday 7-22-12

Today, for Six Sentence Sunday, I am featuring six from a novelette I just finished.  This was a weird one for me, because it was a Western.  I’ll explain why I read it when I review it on Thursday.

These sentences are from “Mended Hearts” by Olivia Devereaux

The main character, Ella, is telling her young son that his father has just been shot.  They live away from the town, and are all alone.  She just finished burying her husband all by herself. 

“Your pa, he…” the words wouldn’t come.

Eli rushed to her, throwing his arms around her waist.

His tears leaked out and splattered her forearm, but he didn’t utter a sound.

The dust in the yard kicked up in a mini wind devil before dissipating.

Ella gazed toward the long hump of dirt in a cordoned off area Owen had set aside for their family plots

She never thought he’d be the first one to go to the ground.