Oh Yeah! It’s the Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued. Then everyone hops around to critique others. Don’t have a post of your own? We’d love a critique anyway! And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)

Okay… Here’s mine. This is 250 words of my YA Urban Fantasy: “Fire in the Woods”. Right before this scene, our MC Jess runs into the woods chasing a deer. (That is the”buck” mentioned in the last line) Then all of the sudden…

A screeching noise filled the forest, swirling like a smoke alarm gone haywire. A hollow hum developed behind the squawking invasion as a jolt of stabbing pain tore into my brain. I slammed my hands against my ears, but I couldn’t fight the drills boring inside me. Head pounding, I cried out in agony, but I my own voice fell victim to the onslaught of vibrations exploding through my cranium.

I dropped to my knees. “Please stop! Make it stop!”

The squalling reverberated, encompassing everything. Tears pooled in my eyes, blurring my vision before trailing down my cheeks. I cried out in misery, until it stopped abruptly.

I shook, reeling from the sudden silence. A faint hum lingered, a frightening reminder of the noise’s intensity. Hands still covering my ears, I sucked in a careful, short breath and slowly dared another. Holding as still as possible, I braced for another auditory attack, and thanked the Lord when it didn’t come. I scanned the trees, at a loss as to what could have made such a noise.

Sobbing, I blinked back fresh tears, and wiped my cheek clean. A leaf fell to the ground at my feet, but the rest of the forest remained motionless. The chirping birds had vanished. Nothing stirred to disrupt the eerie quiet—not even a gentle rustle of the wind.

I spun, startled by a thrash behind a large fallen tree. Ignoring the instinct to flee like the buck, I inched forward and peeked over the log.