I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #5

5: Pairs of adjectives are exponentially worse than single adjectives. The ‘big, old’ man walked slowly towards the ‘tall, beautiful’ girl. When I read a sentence like that, I’m hoping he dies before he arrives at his destination. Mind you, that’s probably a cue for a ‘noisy, white’ ambulance to arrive. Wailingly, perhaps!

I think this is pretty much self-explanatory.  I know I have done this, but usually to create a mood, and definitely in moderation.

For instance, a character in a deep, dark dungeon.  Miles took a slow, calculated step.  Yes, in each case you could delete one, but there is a mood set with the use of two, right.  BE CAREFUL THOUGH.  Use this extremely sparingly.  (Ha!  That’s two “ly” words in a row)

Take a look through your manuscript.  Where have you used double adjectives and had it work well?  Where did you smack yourself upside the head and delete one (or more) adjectives?

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• Sawyer’s Rules for Writing (isylumn.wordpress.com)