Tag Archives: Arts

A review of Sweet Blood of Mine by @John_Corwin

Posted on May 17, 2013 | 4 Comments

Jump aboard!  It’s going to be a bumpy ride!  I really enjoyed this story from so many angles it’s not funny.

This is a story about an overweight geeky teen boy who suddenly becomes a soul-sucking incubus. (Don’t blame him.  It’s hereditary.)

The only problem is… no one told him anything about it, and he has no idea what’s going on.

I loved the world-building in this novel, and the voice is AWESOME. The main character seems real, and deals with his “changes” in a realistic way.

The only thing I can fault in Sweet Blood of Mine is the beginning, which is a bit long and drawn out.  I was so interested in the character’s voice though, that I kept reading.  The writing is fluid, and very well done.  And, in the end, I’m glad I kept reading because I ended up just LOVING this story, and cheering the main characters on as these two teenagers set off to on an adventure to save the boy’s father from the nasty supernatural bad-guys.

I’m going to dock one star for the overly-long beginning, but once you get past that, and his abilities flare up, this is an action packed roller-coaster ride of fun.

Oh yeah – here’s a warning.  This book is free right now, and this is a classic case of free done well…  There is an excerpt of the next book in the last few pages. And guess what I did?  Yep – I clicked that Buy it Now button.

This is a perfect example to me of how giving away a free book can work.   This book was so good that I didn’t hesitate to pick up the next one.  Be warned – there’s a whole series of these suckers, but at $2.99 a download, I’m good with that. If you like to romp around in the YA world (just inching toward new adult) I would HIGHLY recommend this.

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Rule #2 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Posted on May 14, 2013 | 22 Comments

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #2

2: Use oblique dialogue. Try to generate conflict at all times in your writing. Attempt the following experiment at home or work: spend the day refusing to answer your family and colleagues’ questions directly. Did you generate conflict? I bet you did. Apply that principle to your writing and your characters will respond likewise.

This is one of those things that I read and said to myself “huh-wha?”  It seemed like a jumble of words that should be important, if I knew what he was trying to say.  Here’s my take on it, after doing a little research and thinking it over.

This is what I came up with.  Let’s take a look at some dialog. I’m going to take out movement and emotion so we can just look at the dialog, and see how it works.

“Helen, I’m home.”

“Hello, George. How was work?”

“Oh just dandy.  Martin was out, so I had to take care of all his problems and got to none of my own work.”

“I’m sorry to hear that dear. What would you like for dinner?”

“Pizza is fine.”

“Okay, I’ll place the order.”

“I went shopping today.”

“Yeah, what’d you buy?”

“Milk and eggs.”

“Good.  I like milk and eggs”

“You know what? We need to talk about Billy.  He turned into a velociraptor today, and he ate three of his classmates.”

“Whaaaaaaat?”

0026_CracksAndCrevasses

Okay – don’t judge me.  I’m trying to make a point.  There is a lot of day-to day babble in here that is really unnecessary, right?  The only important thing is that Billy turned into a dinosaur.

Conflict needs to be evident in every scene.  Don’t just have people talking about nothing just to kill time.  Each scene, and each bit of dialog needs to move the story forward.  I mean seriously.  Do we need to know that Mommy picked up milk and eggs?

Look for your dialog to be concise and to the point.  Give it the impression of being longer, without actually boring your reader with the babble.

Make sure each scene has a start, conflict, and resolution.  Each one of these miniature stories needs to draw your characters further along in the story. If it doesn’t move the story forward, no matter how much you love the scene, it’s time to take out the hatchet.

How often do you find your characters babbling with no forward movement in a scene?  What did you do to rein your dialog in?

Jennifer___Eaton

 

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Write a Story with Me # 41 with Vanessa Chapman

Posted on April 29, 2013 | 6 Comments

Vanessa Chapman makes this plot even thicker this week.  What’s going on????

 41- Vanessa-Jane Chapman

Morath came to a stop a few feet in front of the building. “I need you to do something for me Tangle,” she said.

“Yes of course Grandmo…I mean, Queen…I mean Queen Gran…oh dear.” He bowed his head and bit his lip. Morath smiled and knelt down. She took his chin gently in her hand and lifted it to look warmly into his vibrant blue eyes.  He met her gaze, and felt the color rising in his cheeks.

“My child,” said Morath. “It matters not what you call me, it matters only what is in your heart. Do you understand?” She kissed him tenderly on the forehead. Tangle wasn’t sure he did understand, but he nodded anyway. “Before I go into the building,” she said. “I need you to take a message in for me. Can you do that?” He nodded. Morath continued. “The message can only be given to Yoran, and you must give it directly to him yourself Tangle. That is most important. Can I trust you to do that?” Tangle nodded again.

“What is the message Queen Grandmother?” he asked. Morath looked around cautiously before leaning forward to whisper into Tangle’s ear.

“The sacred Gleaming Tree yields its leaves only to those who are ready to receive its power,” she said. “Repeat it exactly like that. Yoran will understand.”

“But I don’t,” said Tangle.

“No,” said Morath. “But one day you will. Now go in please, I will wait here. When you have delivered the message to Yoran, and only to Yoran, come back and tell me, and then I will enter alone.”

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Susan Rocan — TAG!  You are “It”

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Review of “The Glass Man” by Jocelyn Adams

Posted on April 26, 2013 | 12 Comments

Strap yourself in.  It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

I actually finished this book last year, and it was in my top five reads for 2012.  I never got around to reviewing it, so here’s a quick overview.

My opinion? I want to be Jocelyn Adams when I grow up.  Well, not completely, but I would love to have the “flow” that her writing style has.  She is really “readable”.

Have you ever read a great book, but it was easy to put it down?  Well, Glass Man is a great book that your husband has to pry out of your hands to make sure you go to bed at night… I call that “flow” because there is no hard break in the writing… as a reader, you just keep reading without knowing what’s going on.

Glassman is a story about a girl with supernatural powers and has no idea why she has these powers.  She is being chased by “The Glass Man” – a man who killed her entire family when she was young, and has been hunting her ever since.  Yep, this is one of my favorite tropes – the CHASE NOVEL.  Wahoo!  Action abounds!

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel from beginning to end, with a few very minor nit-picks.

Nit Picks:

#1 is the language. Yeah, yeah, stamp me a prude, but I cannot relate to a heroine with a gutter mouth.  I’ve said before, using the word sh*t or even the F-bomb if you fall and hurt yourself is okay.  It’s natural.  But riddling the dialog with profanity bothers me.  I have to subtract a star for this.

#2 is that the main character is wearing a ridiculous outfit for a long time during the climax near the end of the story. Why Why Why? Is all I have to ask.  The narrative, which is otherwise outstanding, high energy and tense, is challenged, and at times ruined by the dumb outfit that the bad guy made her wear. I just don’t know where the author was going with that.  Maybe it was supposed to be comic relief, or maybe titillation… for me, it just made me roll my eyes.  So for this, I need to subtract another star.

Now let’s chat for a second about the character of the Glass Man.

Best Villain I have ever read

 Like EVER

Wanna lesson on how to write a villain?  Pick up Glass Man.  I mean DANG.  I actually found myself rooting for him most of the time.  He is just so darn bad you have to love him… and I just love a hot sexy villain.  He’s not bad… he’s doing the right thing!  Who cares if everyone else thinks he’s a psychopath?????

Pure brilliance on the villain, and I would LOVE to see a prequel that was based solely on his character.  There is a mention of an earlier event with the MC of this story where the villain actually “won”.  I would LOVE to see that made into a book.  Let’s cheer on that bad guy. Yahooooo!

Okay, so, if you didn’t catch my enthusiasm, I was trying to say that the villain was awesome, and for him alone, I will give this book an extra star.

So that’s a total of four stars for the Glass Man.  If you like paranormal stories, and can get in to a chase novel with a dash of romance and two supernatural being kicking the crud out of each other, you will just LOVE this.

JenniFer_EatonF

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Rule #1 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Posted on April 11, 2013 | 43 Comments

One of the on-line writing groups I belong to has devoted several chat sessions to the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie. Unfortunately, my schedule has not allowed me to participate in any of the discussion thus far, but I did take the opportunity to read the article—and I’m so glad I did.

For the next several weeks, I’m going to dissect this article/essay and really think over each section.  Since I remember things better when I write them down, I figured I might as well post them up here as a series and discussion topic.  This way we can all chat, and maybe learn from each other as well.

I can’t stress strongly enough that writing is subjective. We all strive for different goals. Consequently, we all need our own set of rules—and some of us don’t need rules at all! Personally, I like rules. If nothing else, it’s fun breaking them.  [Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie]

So let’s chat about number one, which defines that wacky word I’ve never heard of before…

1: Avoid pleonasms. A pleonasm is a word or phrase that can be removed from a sentence without changing its meaning. For example, in “Hunting Down The Pleonasm”, ‘down’ is pleonastic. Cut it and the meaning of the sentence does not alter. Many words are used pleonastically: ‘just’, ‘that’ and ‘actually’ are three frequently-seen culprits (I actually just know that he’s the killer can be trimmed to I know he’s the killer), and phrases like ‘more or less’ and ‘in any shape or form’ are redundant [Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie]

Now, I KNOW I don’t use “more or less” or “in any shape or form” because they would both set off my cliché alarm.  I have caught myself using “just” once in a while… but I’m not sure about the other two.  I’m going to go run a search on my nearly completed manuscript FIRE IN THE WOODS for these words.  You go take a look at yours, and let’s meet back here.

swish skid mark

Okay… Here’s the scoop.

There are 203 cases of “just” in my novel.  Probably too many for 270 pages, don’t you think?  It seems that most of them are in dialog, but let’s take a look at a few that aren’t:

Staying in the house was just too much to ask. This was the story of a lifetime. I just couldn’t let it slip by without getting something on film.

Okay, taken out of context the two “justs” next to each other scream at me. The second one will definitely go.  Now the first one… does the sentence sound fine without it?  Yes, of course it does, but I think the “just” in this case, is part of the teenage voice in the novel.  For now, I think the first one will stay—but knowing me it will start annoying me now, and get deleted eventually.

Here’s a “that” instance…

You promised that you wouldn’t let anything happen to me

Each switch up to “You promised you wouldn’t let anything happen to me”

swish skid mark

Here are my total counts:

Original appearances of “Just” = 203 (85% in dialog)

# After search/edit = 114 (mostly dialog)

swish skid mark

Original appearances of “Actually” = 22 (only 5 outside dialog)

# After search/edit = 21 (only 4 outside dialog)

swish skid mark

Original appearances of “That” = 448 (Yikes!)

# after search/edit = 395 – most in dialog, but only 63 could be removed without messing up the sentence. I will look at this again in the final read-through.

How’d you do?  What other words have you come across that can be deleted without changing the meaning of your sentence?

JenniFer_EatonF

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Write a Story with Me # 36 – Daddy wake up! by Jennifer M. Eaton

Posted on March 25, 2013 | 5 Comments

I’m bringing it back to the battle string this week, ’cause that’s where the party’s at!  Let’s rock!

36 – Jennifer M. Eaton – “Daddy, wake up!”

Yoran lulled in and out of consciousness.  Echoing blasts of battle and the throttling of wind pummeled his mind.

“Daddy, Daddy wake up.” Marci’s voice seeped into his internal chaos.

Oh! What a foul ogre a mind could be, taunting him with the voice of his beloved daughter, when he knew she was lost.  The vision of meek, weary Marci falling to her death grated against his soul, tearing and ripping to the point of insanity.

“Daddy!”

Yoran blinked twice.  His eyes stung, accosted by the sunlight shining from above.  Heaven?  Was this the great light he was to travel to?

A dark figure blotted out the sun, a form not unlike a small girl.  “Daddy, can you hear me?”  Tiny finger grabbed his shoulders, and his body shook.  “Daddy, can you feel me?”

A larger figure passed through his vision, and his face stung as a cold hand slapped him nearly off the table.

“Let’s see if he felt that.” The angry woman’s voice sliced into his heart–the same voice he’d heard pluck him from the sky.

“Sian?” His raspy voice barely sputtered the name.  His eyes focused, and she re-folded her arms, her eyes hard and glaring, just as they had been the last time he woke. She was really there.  This wasn’t a dream.

Mustering all his energy, he pulled himself to a sitting position.  His head pounded as he reached out to his eldest daughter.

Sian spat on the floor beside him.  “Save your strength, Father.  You’re going to need it.”

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Twenty Nine Click Here

Part Thirty — Richard Leonard

Part Thirty-One —Sharon Manship

Part Thirty-Two — Shannon Christensen

Part Thirty-Three — Danielle Ackley McPhail

Part Thirty-Four — Siv Maria Ottem

Part Thirty-Five — Susan Roebuck

Part Thirty-Six — Jennifer M. Eaton

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Elin Gregory — TAG!  You are “It”

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Write a Story with Me # 35 – In the Sky Above by Susan Roebuck

Posted on March 18, 2013 | 5 Comments

Susan Rocan fills in a little space that was left hanging.  Take it away, Susan!

35 – Susan Roebuck – Battle string – in the sky – fills space before #29

Janosc’s squadron dodged cumulus clouds, flying through the chaos.

They observed Marci’s ship and the Establishment shuttle that thought it was invisible. Wing-commander Briss drew level with Janosc.

“Captain,” he said, “The old ship is off course, it’s entering the Atom Stream and getting too close to the Establishment shuttle which is equipped with a lock-on and destroy system in such cases.”

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the Shuttle opened fire.

“Fangs out!” Janosc cried, pointing his sword downwards. “Dog-fight.”

It was too late – the blast had broken Marci’s ship apart. “Idiotic shuttle. Inexperienced…” To his horror, Marci’s bed with Bethany hanging on for dear life was heading for the ocean. Magic was the only option. He pulled the speaker on his helmet closer and ordered his squadron: “Bubble. Bubble. Marci and bed. Repeat. Marci and bed. Get her to the Precipice and the Portal home, boys.”

As the force of their combined magic curved downwards, Janosc cursed. “Damn cones!” He should’ve brought more experienced magicians with him; apart from Briss they were greenhorns. “Too much magic,” he cried.

A rainbow-colored bubble formed around Marci’s bed, but extended onwards encompassing Yoran’s falling body as well. And that wasn’t all. “It’s caught the Establishment ship too! Now they’ll all be transported to the mystic portal. Can it get worse?”

Briss’s calm voice spoke in his ear. “Black object, Captain, speeding our way. Four o’clock. Looks like someone on a broomstick.”

Janosc closed his eyes. That’s all he needed. Mother.

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Twenty Nine Click Here

Part Thirty — Richard Leonard

Part Thirty-One —Sharon Manship

Part Thirty-Two — Shannon Christensen

Part Thirty-Three — Danielle Ackley McPhail

Part Thirty-Four — Siv Maria Ottem

Part Thirty-Five — Susan Roebuck

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Jennifer Eaton — TAG!  You are “It”

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Another Publisher Bites the Dust

Posted on March 16, 2013 | 20 Comments

It’s one of the risks we take as authors when we put our work out there, especially with one of the smaller publishing houses.  A week ago, Still Moments Publishing closed for submissions “due to the que being full”.

Hmmm.  Odd, huh?

Yesterday, it was announced that Still Moments Publishing is being absorbed by another publisher.  Which one, I don’t know yet.

Do I regret my decision to go with them?  Not at all.  I learned a lot about Romance Writing through them.  The experience with my editors was overwhelmingly positive, and my writing grew because of it.  The mild inconvenience I am experiencing now is a small price to pay for growing as a writer.

The transition has been as painless as possible.  Still Moments has been very good about it.  I already have my rights back, and am seeking a new publisher.  I wish everyone at Still Moments the best in their future endeavors.

So, if you’ve been thinking of picking up a copy of “Jack and Jill”, or “For the Love of Christmas”, you might want to do so sooner than later.  Most Still Moments titles will start disappearing in the next few days.

JenniFer_EatonF

 

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Best to “not so best” Books I read in 2012

Posted on March 9, 2013 | 15 Comments

I had a goal to read a book a month in 2012.  How’d I do?

Okay, yeah, I know everyone else posted this list in January, but hey, I’m different, you know (and maybe I totally forgot) :-)

But now I can say I’m original. Yay!

I gave myself this goal last year because as a writer, you are supposed to read – and I definitely wasn’t reading. Giving myself a goal forced me to go to bed earlier so I would have time to cuddle up with my book before I went to sleep, and made me feel good about saying “yes” when my husband asked if I wanted to read by the fire (which I love doing).

I’m glad to say that I am finding time to read again.  I can usually polish off a novel in a week or so if it is really good.   In 2012 I had a goal to read at least one book a month.  By the end of the year, I had read well over twenty books!  Yay me! (A few of them were novellas, but the important thing was that I was reading, and I scoped out books in many genres)

Here they are in order.  I kept moving these around for one reason or another.  I basically ranked them with a combination of great writing and general great reading experience.  (Which are two very different things)

My rating system:  Did I close the book and want to reach for another book by that author?  Then I ranked the book higher.  Was the writing fabulous, but something about the plot disturbed me?  Down the list you go.  (I don’t like to be ticked off or feel sick to my stomach after reading something.)

So here is every book I read in 2012 from best to “not so best”, weighing heavily on my emotional reaction to the story as well as all around great writing (and with the exception of maybe two books on this list, all the writing was really engaging.)

Crux, Julie Reece

The Glass Man, Jocelyn Adams

The P.U.R.E., by Claire Gillian

Read-hold up PKO_0016876Throne, Phil Tucker

Oracle, JC Martin

Instinct, JA Belfield

Mended Hearts, Olivia Devereaux

The Circle, Stella Berkley

Again, Diana Murdock

Surrender, by Aimee Laine

Hunger Games (Didn’t finish-watched movie instead)

The Secret Year, Jennifer Hubbard

Call of the Sea, Rebecca Heart

Darkness and Light, JA Belfield

The Sword, Bryan M. Litfin

Talbot’s Ploy, Kastil Evenshade

Soul of the Succubus, Lila Shaw

Fated Encounter, JA Belfield

Into the Unknown (Anthology)

Endless (Anthology)

A Touch of M**** (I feel bad listing someone as the worst, but this is that horrible book that I ananymously throttled for being so bad.  I will continue to keep its anonimity)

There you have it.  What were your favorites from last year?  Any recommendations for this year’s list?

JenniFer_EatonF

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Writing Madly to a Deadline, and then NOT submitting

Posted on March 6, 2013 | 31 Comments

I recently jumped into the running for another anthology, which means writing to a tight deadline.  I tripped up my schedule for a few weeks, finalizing my novel for the Amazon Break Through Novel Contest, and was two-weeks behind schedule. I DID finish in time (barely), but now I sit here the day before the deadline, with a completed manuscript in my hands, second guessing myself.

Do I think it’s not good enough?  No.  The opposite.  It’s tight. It’s precise….

And if you could have seen the look on my son’s face after reading it— Dang.  I haven’t seen him this excited about something since finishing the Hunger Games (Not that mine is even remotely like the Hunger Games)

So what’s the problem?  Submit the dern thing!

Here’s my problem… It’s too long.  I did not make the word count.  I contacted the publisher, and they said they would consider it at the higher word count, but it definitely would have to be cut down by 1500 words for publication in the anthology (If it were chosen)

I searched for those 1500 words, and found a possible 500 to cut, but editing out those 500 would have affected the “mood” of the story.  And if another 1000 words were cut after that, the whole story would seem rushed.

If my son had said “Meh, it’s okay.  I’ve read better.” (Which he has done to me in the past) I would have sliced and diced the 1500 words out of the story and sent it in.

But he didn’t say that.  He asked for more.  My kid the voracious reader said:  “It was really great.  I’ve never read anything like that before.  When will you write another one?”

I thought about what those forced changes would do, and decided to take the creative high road.  I am passing on the anthology, and am now embarking on a search for a publisher of Young Adult Paranormal Short/Novellas.

Ugh!  I hate passing up an opportunity, but I think this particular story needs to find a more suitable home than the confines of an anthology.

I am all for editing… all stories need to be edited, but I don’t want to “cut” just for the sake of “cutting”.  I’d rather have words cut because they don’t belong there… not because there is a stipulation on word count.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this?

If not, do you think you’d submit anyway, or search for a new home?

_JenniFer____EatoN

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