Tag Archives: writing

Write a Story with Me # 40 – With a Clap of the Hands – by Norah Jansen

Posted on April 22, 2013 | 5 Comments

Norah Jansen debuts to Write a Story with Me and turns a corner and starts heading our two strings back together again.  Take it away, Norah!

40- Norah Jansen – With a clap of the hands

Janelle clapped her hands together and a tall fair haired boy dressed in a multitude of colours appeared at her side.

“This is your eldest grandson. Tangle. Marci’s family is here in the Kingdom and Tangle will take you to them.”

Tangle smiled shyly at Morath. He had heard about his grandmother, the great Queen of the Faeries, but never thought he would actually meet her. Now he was going to be her guide and pride swelled in his chest under her gentle gaze. He hoped all his friends would see him as he led their Queen through the streets of Argot.

Morath felt her heart squeeze as she watched Janelle with her smaller children. They were all so beautiful and Morath had missed out on seeing them being born and growing up. Something else to hold against the humans if she dared to let herself go down that path. This wasn’t the time for hatred; there was a sliver of a chance that what had started out as a potential disaster for her people could be a turning point for both humans and Fae.

She nodded to Tangle to proceed and with a swift backward glance at Janelle, Morath followed her grandson through the streets of Argot. Not many of her people (and none of Tangle’s friends) were around to see their procession but those that were bowed low before racing away to spread the news of their Queen’s return.

Tangle pointed ahead to the large building in the middle of the square. Morath’s ears twitched with apprehension as they approached. This wasn’t the first time a human had been held in this building. She hoped the outcome would be different this time.

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Twenty Nine Click Here

Part Thirty — Richard Leonard

Part Thirty-One —Sharon Manship

Part Thirty-Two — Shannon Christensen

Part Thirty-Three — Danielle Ackley McPhail

Part Thirty-Four — Siv Maria Ottem

Part Thirty-Five — Susan Roebuck

Part Thirty-Six — Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Thirty-Seven — Elin Gregory

Part Thirty-Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Thirty-Nine — Nicky Wells

Part Forty — Norah Jansen

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Vanessa Chapman — TAG!  You are “It”

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Write a Story with Me # 39 – Queen of Queens by Nicky Wells

Posted on April 15, 2013 | 2 Comments

Nicky Wells brings us back to the Queen and her baby.  What’s happening there Nicky?

39 — Nicky Wells — Queen of Queens of the fae (Baby String)

Morana waited until she was certain that Natalia was sound asleep. Once more, she abandoned her human body and emerged Queen Morath of the fae, hovering above Natalia’s sleeping form before casting a protective spell on her. “Sleep safely until I return,” she intoned solemnly.

Then Morath closed her eyes and stilled her thoughts, focusing every fibre of her being on Jenelle, tracing her very soul until she found her. “Take me to her, now,” she bid her brilliant mind and in a faint flash of ivory sparkle, she vanished from Natalia’s side.

Morath joined the young queen Jenelle at the hive, tending her own offspring and quite unprepared for the apparition of the Queen of Queens of the fae.

“Morath,” Jenelle breathed, falling to her knees and bowing her head in the required gesture of supplication. “We thought… we didn’t know… where have you been?”

“My child,” Morath intoned gently. “Please rise. We have much to talk about.”

Jenelle lifted her head and obediently straightened her body, finally daring to look at Morath. “I have done wrong,” she murmured. “I can see it in your eyes.”

“You do not understand. Not everything is as you see,” Morath replied. “Yes, I am Morath. I am also your mother. And I am Morana, the midwife, the facilitator of human life. I have lived in human form for many years. I will explain, but first tell me — Natalia’s family. Where are they? It is of the utmost urgency that we unite them.”

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Twenty Nine Click Here

Part Thirty — Richard Leonard

Part Thirty-One —Sharon Manship

Part Thirty-Two — Shannon Christensen

Part Thirty-Three — Danielle Ackley McPhail

Part Thirty-Four — Siv Maria Ottem

Part Thirty-Five — Susan Roebuck

Part Thirty-Six — Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Thirty-Seven — Elin Gregory

Part Thirty-Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Thirty-Nine — Nicky Wells

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Norah Jansen — TAG!  You are “It”

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Rule #1 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Posted on April 11, 2013 | 43 Comments

One of the on-line writing groups I belong to has devoted several chat sessions to the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie. Unfortunately, my schedule has not allowed me to participate in any of the discussion thus far, but I did take the opportunity to read the article—and I’m so glad I did.

For the next several weeks, I’m going to dissect this article/essay and really think over each section.  Since I remember things better when I write them down, I figured I might as well post them up here as a series and discussion topic.  This way we can all chat, and maybe learn from each other as well.

I can’t stress strongly enough that writing is subjective. We all strive for different goals. Consequently, we all need our own set of rules—and some of us don’t need rules at all! Personally, I like rules. If nothing else, it’s fun breaking them.  [Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie]

So let’s chat about number one, which defines that wacky word I’ve never heard of before…

1: Avoid pleonasms. A pleonasm is a word or phrase that can be removed from a sentence without changing its meaning. For example, in “Hunting Down The Pleonasm”, ‘down’ is pleonastic. Cut it and the meaning of the sentence does not alter. Many words are used pleonastically: ‘just’, ‘that’ and ‘actually’ are three frequently-seen culprits (I actually just know that he’s the killer can be trimmed to I know he’s the killer), and phrases like ‘more or less’ and ‘in any shape or form’ are redundant [Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie]

Now, I KNOW I don’t use “more or less” or “in any shape or form” because they would both set off my cliché alarm.  I have caught myself using “just” once in a while… but I’m not sure about the other two.  I’m going to go run a search on my nearly completed manuscript FIRE IN THE WOODS for these words.  You go take a look at yours, and let’s meet back here.

swish skid mark

Okay… Here’s the scoop.

There are 203 cases of “just” in my novel.  Probably too many for 270 pages, don’t you think?  It seems that most of them are in dialog, but let’s take a look at a few that aren’t:

Staying in the house was just too much to ask. This was the story of a lifetime. I just couldn’t let it slip by without getting something on film.

Okay, taken out of context the two “justs” next to each other scream at me. The second one will definitely go.  Now the first one… does the sentence sound fine without it?  Yes, of course it does, but I think the “just” in this case, is part of the teenage voice in the novel.  For now, I think the first one will stay—but knowing me it will start annoying me now, and get deleted eventually.

Here’s a “that” instance…

You promised that you wouldn’t let anything happen to me

Each switch up to “You promised you wouldn’t let anything happen to me”

swish skid mark

Here are my total counts:

Original appearances of “Just” = 203 (85% in dialog)

# After search/edit = 114 (mostly dialog)

swish skid mark

Original appearances of “Actually” = 22 (only 5 outside dialog)

# After search/edit = 21 (only 4 outside dialog)

swish skid mark

Original appearances of “That” = 448 (Yikes!)

# after search/edit = 395 – most in dialog, but only 63 could be removed without messing up the sentence. I will look at this again in the final read-through.

How’d you do?  What other words have you come across that can be deleted without changing the meaning of your sentence?

JenniFer_EatonF

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What the… Oh My Gosh, Oh No, Oh Crap, and whatever…

Posted on March 29, 2013 | 20 Comments

Final edits can be maddening, can’t they? As I go through my list of overused words, I always find new things that make me giggle.

My current giggle-a-thon is coming in the form of teenage explicatives.  They sound perfectly right in-context. “Oh my gosh, you are not going to do that!”

Buy when I ran a search on “Oh” and my screen lit up with pretty highlights—I realized how many of my main character’s dialog lines start with the word “Oh”.  It’s funny really.

The good thing about using the search feature to ferret out these little problem is you can look at each instance outside of the frame of the narrative.  It’s much easier to edit when you are not getting “caught up” in the story.

So, at the moment I am in final edits for Fire in the Woods, and I am removing a good portion of the “Oh my gosh”, “Oh my God”, “Oh crap,” and of course, the every-so intrusive “umm”.

Of course, I am leaving in a few for color, but I’m trying to cut my repetition down to once every ten pages or more. (Quite a feat at times.)

How do you search and destroy over-used words and phrases?

JenniFer_EatonF

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Best to “not so best” Books I read in 2012

Posted on March 9, 2013 | 15 Comments

I had a goal to read a book a month in 2012.  How’d I do?

Okay, yeah, I know everyone else posted this list in January, but hey, I’m different, you know (and maybe I totally forgot) :-)

But now I can say I’m original. Yay!

I gave myself this goal last year because as a writer, you are supposed to read – and I definitely wasn’t reading. Giving myself a goal forced me to go to bed earlier so I would have time to cuddle up with my book before I went to sleep, and made me feel good about saying “yes” when my husband asked if I wanted to read by the fire (which I love doing).

I’m glad to say that I am finding time to read again.  I can usually polish off a novel in a week or so if it is really good.   In 2012 I had a goal to read at least one book a month.  By the end of the year, I had read well over twenty books!  Yay me! (A few of them were novellas, but the important thing was that I was reading, and I scoped out books in many genres)

Here they are in order.  I kept moving these around for one reason or another.  I basically ranked them with a combination of great writing and general great reading experience.  (Which are two very different things)

My rating system:  Did I close the book and want to reach for another book by that author?  Then I ranked the book higher.  Was the writing fabulous, but something about the plot disturbed me?  Down the list you go.  (I don’t like to be ticked off or feel sick to my stomach after reading something.)

So here is every book I read in 2012 from best to “not so best”, weighing heavily on my emotional reaction to the story as well as all around great writing (and with the exception of maybe two books on this list, all the writing was really engaging.)

Crux, Julie Reece

The Glass Man, Jocelyn Adams

The P.U.R.E., by Claire Gillian

Read-hold up PKO_0016876Throne, Phil Tucker

Oracle, JC Martin

Instinct, JA Belfield

Mended Hearts, Olivia Devereaux

The Circle, Stella Berkley

Again, Diana Murdock

Surrender, by Aimee Laine

Hunger Games (Didn’t finish-watched movie instead)

The Secret Year, Jennifer Hubbard

Call of the Sea, Rebecca Heart

Darkness and Light, JA Belfield

The Sword, Bryan M. Litfin

Talbot’s Ploy, Kastil Evenshade

Soul of the Succubus, Lila Shaw

Fated Encounter, JA Belfield

Into the Unknown (Anthology)

Endless (Anthology)

A Touch of M**** (I feel bad listing someone as the worst, but this is that horrible book that I ananymously throttled for being so bad.  I will continue to keep its anonimity)

There you have it.  What were your favorites from last year?  Any recommendations for this year’s list?

JenniFer_EatonF

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Writing Madly to a Deadline, and then NOT submitting

Posted on March 6, 2013 | 31 Comments

I recently jumped into the running for another anthology, which means writing to a tight deadline.  I tripped up my schedule for a few weeks, finalizing my novel for the Amazon Break Through Novel Contest, and was two-weeks behind schedule. I DID finish in time (barely), but now I sit here the day before the deadline, with a completed manuscript in my hands, second guessing myself.

Do I think it’s not good enough?  No.  The opposite.  It’s tight. It’s precise….

And if you could have seen the look on my son’s face after reading it— Dang.  I haven’t seen him this excited about something since finishing the Hunger Games (Not that mine is even remotely like the Hunger Games)

So what’s the problem?  Submit the dern thing!

Here’s my problem… It’s too long.  I did not make the word count.  I contacted the publisher, and they said they would consider it at the higher word count, but it definitely would have to be cut down by 1500 words for publication in the anthology (If it were chosen)

I searched for those 1500 words, and found a possible 500 to cut, but editing out those 500 would have affected the “mood” of the story.  And if another 1000 words were cut after that, the whole story would seem rushed.

If my son had said “Meh, it’s okay.  I’ve read better.” (Which he has done to me in the past) I would have sliced and diced the 1500 words out of the story and sent it in.

But he didn’t say that.  He asked for more.  My kid the voracious reader said:  “It was really great.  I’ve never read anything like that before.  When will you write another one?”

I thought about what those forced changes would do, and decided to take the creative high road.  I am passing on the anthology, and am now embarking on a search for a publisher of Young Adult Paranormal Short/Novellas.

Ugh!  I hate passing up an opportunity, but I think this particular story needs to find a more suitable home than the confines of an anthology.

I am all for editing… all stories need to be edited, but I don’t want to “cut” just for the sake of “cutting”.  I’d rather have words cut because they don’t belong there… not because there is a stipulation on word count.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this?

If not, do you think you’d submit anyway, or search for a new home?

_JenniFer____EatoN

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Write a Story With Me #32 – Janelle’s Choice with Shannon Christensen

Posted on February 25, 2013 | 3 Comments

Last week the baby finally arrived, but it looks like Mommy is in big trouble!  Will she be okay?  Let’s find out!

Take it away Shannon!

32- Shannon Christensen

Janelle hesitated.

If she followed Morana’s instructions to get help, Natalia might live and the boy might grow up healthy, wealthy, and destructive. This baby could destroy them all – fairies and humans, regardless of Janelle’s help.

She considered this. The boy could turn out to be like Marci, and could be helpful to Janelle’s people. Then again, maybe not. If he were more like Bethany, then all the risks and sacrifices made by Marci, by Sian, by Janosc, by herself and so many others would be futile.

She did not have to help. She should not have helped earlier by bringing Morana. Certainly, the humans would not have helped a fairy mother. She could simply leave Natalia and the boy in Morana’s care and let luck or fate have her way.

Natalia moaned again and Morana pleaded.

Janelle watched.
As a mother, Janelle sympathized with the compulsion to care for an infant. As Marci’s friend, Janelle sympathized with the potential loss of a family member. As the new queen of the fairies, however, she understood that her own feelings were nothing compared to her peoples’ needs. She had accepted this when she ate the leaf. She had not expected to have to act so quickly on this new prioritization.

Janelle sighed. She would do what was best for the many, and not only the few.

“No.”

“But, you must!”

“No. I must not.” Janelle turned and flew away from the house for the last time.

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine – Vikki Thompson

Part Ten — Susan Rocan mywithershins

Part Eleven — Kate Johnston  AKA 4AMWriter

Part Twelve — Julie Catherine

Part Thirteen — Kai Damian

Part Fourteen — Richard Leonard

Part Fifteen — Sharon Manship

Part Sixteen – Shannon Blue Christensen

Part Seventeen — Bryn Jones

Part Eighteen — Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Nineteen — Shannon Burton

Part Twenty — J.Keller Ford

Part Twenty-One — Susan Roebuck

Part Twenty-Two — Elin Gregory

Part Twenty-Three — Aparnauteur

Part Twenty-Four — Vanessa Chapman

Part Twenty-Five — Ravena Guron

Part Twenty Six — Susan Rocan

Part Twenty Seven — Kate Johnson AKA 4AMWriter

Part Twenty Eight – Julie Catherine

Part Twenty Nine — Kai Damian

Part Thirty — Richard Leonard

Part Thirty-One — Sharon Manship

Part Thirty-Two — Shannon Christensen

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Danielle Ackley McPhail — TAG!  You are “It”

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Have you ever lost interest in something you were writing?

Posted on February 23, 2013 | 44 Comments

I’m in a little bit of a rut.  I know I can easily write 1000 words a day (I only have about an hour a day to write) but for the past few days, I just can’t seem to do it.

For some of the time, it is because my thoughts keep straying to a different story that I want to write.  I KNOW that if I followed my muse I’d be spitting out 1000+ words an hour.  But if I did that, I know I probably would never get back to what I’m writing.

Is there anything wrong with what I’m writing?  No.  It’s just not “calling to me”—You know what I mean?

The funny thing is, I am around the bend of the “rising action” and I am staring my climax in the face.  Just two more scenes until I start blowing things up. Oh, Yes! This one will make the Little Blue Lady from Mars very happy!  It will make me happy… but I’m just “bored” in the process of getting there.

Is my story boring?  I don’t think so (of course no one has read more than the first 500 words during Sunday Snippets.)

I know, I know… set it aside for a while and follow my muse… but I can’t.  I’m writing to a deadline again.  I have only a few more weeks to finish, go to beta, revise and submit… and I’d like to give myself a little extra time in case they ask for a re-write before the deadline.

Ugh.

I think part of it is that I can’t motivate myself to start, and once I get the motivation, I only have about 25 minutes of writing time left… so I dump about 450 words on the page and then have to stop.  If I had more time in a sitting, I would probably be able to keep going.  I guess that’s the sob story of everyone with a full time job, and a part time job plus a family to take care of.

So what about you guys?  Have you ever tired of something you were writing when you were so close to the “good part?”

_JenniFer____EatoN

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I need some help with something. Got a minute?

Posted on February 21, 2013 | 62 Comments

I’ve run into a conundrum.  It’s kind of a good conundrum – betas are loving Fire in the Woods… until they get to one point.

I partly expected the responses:

“This is confusing, but if no one else says anything, ignore me.” And “This is distracting.  Is there another way to do this?”

So, this is my problem.  Fire in the Woods is told in “First Person” (the “I” Point of view)

There is a large sequence where people around my main character are speaking another language, and she can’t understand them.  To keep the continuity of the story, I wrote the whole sequence in English.  Then I went back and translated it.

I figured there would be some people who wanted to know what they were saying, so I subtitled it.  I also figured people who wanted to stay in Jess’s confused POV would not even glance at the subtitles.  So far, this seems to be backfiring.

So, this is my question:  How should I handle this scene? I don’t want to keep saying over and over “they spoke in their weird language” or something like that, but I obviously can’t leave in all the foreign dialect.

Have you ever seen something like this done well in a published work?  Have you read a passage where characters are speaking another language, and the POV character doesn’t understand them?

I have an idea what to do, but before I do a lot of work and screw things up, I’d like to see an example of someone doing it WELL.

Any suggestions?

_JenniFer____EatoN

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Are you in the Central Jersey Area? Author’ Panel Saturday

Posted on February 20, 2013 | 8 Comments

‘I’VE FINISHED MY FIRST DRAFT, NOW WHAT?’
Local authors share tips and information on getting published in today’s market (organized by the New Jersey Authors Network: http://www.njauthorsnetwork.com).

So you’ve finished the writing your book/story, or have you?

What (if any) revision work needs doing?


Where can you go for feedback?

How will you know when it’s ready to send out, and where should you try first?

Join New Jersey Authors, Jon Gibbs (moderator); Kristin Battestella; Karen Bostrom; Jennifer Eaton; Jim ‘JJ’ Lair, and Nicole Zoltack, for a fun, informative discussion on getting published in today’s market, and find out why typing ‘THE END’ is really just the beginning.

See you there for a great discussion!

JenniFer_Eaton Sparkle__F

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