Monthly Archives: January 2012

Lesson Twenty-Three from a Manuscript Red Line: Kindle Syndrome

Does your novel have Kindle Syndrome?

Would you be able to recognize it if it did?

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

I read right over this comment at least five times.  I do not own a kindle, so I didn’t understand what the publisher was saying.  This past weekend, I messed around with my sister’s Kindle.  Now this makes sense.  Let me explain…

The publisher said:  “This is a very long section that takes up two kindle pages of material.  Break it up with action and reaction.”

I believe I’ve already blogged about the overall problem of info dumps that go on too long, but this time when I read this comment, the “Kindle” word jumped out at me.

It would be foolhardy for anyone to think that their novels are going to be read 100 % in printed form.  In this new era, it’s just not feasible.  As we all know, technology has finally taken over the publishing world.

When I beta-read novels, I sometimes blow up the pages and just look at them.  If it looks like a text-book, I know there is a problem.  People want white-space when they read recreationally.  A dense page seems like too much work, right?

Now think about the Kindle (or choose your e-reader)…  What does it look like?  Do you see a full page like in a book?  Unless you are reading on something large, the screen is much smaller than an actual page.  A Kindle reader may press the forward button 2-3 times to get through a printed page of material.  I checked the word count on the section that they were talking about, and it was 230 words.  That’s about one page in a standard book.  If you change the type font and make it larger, there would be even more clicks to your page.

Do you really want your reader to click forward 3-4 times and have them still skimming reading the same description?

This is what I am getting at… The importance of White Space

White space is when you can “see the paper” behind your words.  White space can be achieved by new paragraphs, but it is done most effectively with dialog sequences.  Open up a few novels.  You should be able to see what I mean.  Your novel should not look like a text-book.  If there is dialog, it will look more “interactive”

I know as a reader I like white space.  It makes me feel accomplished.  True, on a kindle you cannot feel yourself getting to the end of a novel.  You might not even know you are at the end until you are there, since there are no page numbers (at least on the one my sister showed me)—so feeling accomplished while reading one must be hard…  But because of this, your reader will be effected EVEN MORE by lack of white space, because it will be so much more dramatic on a kindle screen rather than on paper.

I know a lot of you might not care… but I thought this would be worth mentioning.  We are living in a new world.  We have to consider what your novel will look like on the new media.   One or two long dense paragraphs might be fine once in a while, but make sure your scenes are broken up not only for pacing, but to get some of that “all so important” white space.

Amendment:  Since writing this post, I was given a Kindle Fire by my wonderful husband, and I am now 75% through my first novel.  Now that I am in this “electronic world,” I have to admit that everything I said up above really does apply.  Some of the description in the novel I am reading go on for 5 or more kindle pages of dense text.  The prose is beautiful, and well written, but to be honest I always start skimming somewhere in the middle of the second kindle page, which is far sooner than I would have on paper.

Also, on the Kindle Fire there are no page numbers, but it does tell you “percentage read” so you do see yourself getting to the end.

For me though, it makes the long descriptions even more monotonous because I like to feel accomplished.  I try to read a certain percentage each night, and I don’t know how many pages I have to read to achieve another “percent” read.

Yeah, I’m a nut.  But I am sure I am not alone!  Have mercy on a nutty reader.  Avoid Kindle Syndrome.

Jennifer Eaton

Kreativ Blogger Winners – And a bunch of honorable mentions

Wow…. Next time I promise to look at 126 blogs someone SMACK ME.

This was fun, though.

Can I say one thing?  Guys, please… if you are just blogging for the fun of it, disregard this comment.  However, if you are building a brand, you should really think about what your blog looks like, as well as the content.

Some of these blogs may be wonderful, but if it looks boring, there is less of a chance for someone to read it.

For the 30 or so of you with the same theme… the exact same row of books in your header… immediate disqualification.  BORING.  Would you want an agent to go to your blog and have it look just like the other ten blogs they looked at that day?  Think about it. That’s not the only theme I saw over and over, but it was the most abused used.

The first time I saw my theme replicated (The Koi theme) I cringed.  The next time I saw it, I dumped it… even though I loved it.  I didn’t want to go through that annoyance again, so I built my own theme.  Be creative.  Don’t be like everyone else.

So, with that in mind… Here is my list of “honorable mentions”

This is everyone who I at least stopped on and looked around for a little bit.  It could have been for any reason.  The color, the name of the blog, the originality.  There was something about the VISUAL of the first glance that made me stop.  You managed to grab my interest.  One of you even tempted me into downloading your novel.

If you are not on this list, consider taking a look at your blog… not necessarily the content, but the overall “look”.  (Note:  I may not have placed you on the honorable mention list if you recently won this award.)

http://articlesofabsurdity.com/

http://justsimplyinlove.wordpress.com/

http://angelaquarles.com/  —- I’ve seen this background too many times… but the turtle drew me in.

http://nilaewhite.wordpress.com/

http://kristinnador.wordpress.com/

http://automonous.wordpress.com/

http://louisebehiel.com/

http://catherinemjohnson.wordpress.com/

http://couldhavebeenhollywood.com/blog/

http://jabberw00kie.wordpress.com/

http://myotherbookisatolstoy.wordpress.com/

http://nascentnovelist.wordpress.com/

http://mjmonaghan.wordpress.com/

http://alchemyofscrawl.wordpress.com/

http://andyswordsandpictures.wordpress.com/

http://suehealy.org/

http://rebeccaberto.wordpress.com/

http://theatheleseries.wordpress.com/

http://chickswithticks.wordpress.com/

http://authorlmgil.wordpress.com/

http://derekberry.wordpress.com/ –WORD SALAD.  Love the title

http://thedailywoman.wordpress.com/

http://kristykjames.wordpress.com/

http://jimrosswriting.wordpress.com/–would win if I hadn’t seen this backdrop so many times (It’s pretty, though which is why so many people use it.

http://raelynbarclay.wordpress.com/ – same as above.  This was my first blog backdrop.  LOVED IT…until I came across 12 more people using it.

http://augustmclaughlin.wordpress.com/

http://littlemisseverything.wordpress.com/

http://alexlaybourne.com/

http://mynovelmyblog.wordpress.com/

http://dianamurdock.wordpress.com/ – I downloaded her novel tonight

http://mistressofthedarkpath.wordpress.com/

http://showard76.wordpress.com/

http://gloriarichard.wordpress.com/

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com/

http://lizakane.me/

http://cbwentworth.wordpress.com/

Luckily for me, I won this award three times this week, so I get to choose 18 winners.

Here they are.  The most creative out of my 126 current followers (In no particular order).

http://nataliehartford.com

http://serenadracis.wordpress.com/

http://whitneycarter.wordpress.com/

http://sanguinestream.wordpress.com

http://thewildpomegranate.com/

http://susanscribes.wordpress.com/

http://foodiebloger.wordpress.com/

http://postadaychallenge2011.com/

http://morganjauncey.com/

http://anyakelleye.wordpress.com/

http://kanatyler.com/

http://thesendeksaga.wordpress.com/

http://shelleyszajner.wordpress.com/

http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/

http://snagglewordz.com/

http://myrandommuse.wordpress.com/

http://lsmurphy.com/

http://www.paigekellerman.com/

Of the list above the best by far for brand-building is http://sanguinestream.wordpress.com

The art really gives you a feel for who the author is.  You know, at a glance, whether you will love or HATE his work.  Nicely done.

Okay, Lucky 18!  Now it’s your turn.  Please pass this award on to 6 lucky bloggers, and let them know.  Also, post on your blogs a list of 10 useless but fun facts about you.

Congratulations!

Kreativ Blogger Winners. Who to choose? Who to Choose?

I’ve been thinking about Kreativ Blogger winners. This has been hard, because I just nominated a bunch of people for Versatile blogger. I don’t want to be redundant and just nominate the same people. Sooooo…. This is what she’s gonna do:

I have 123 followers right now. If you want to be in the running, and you follow my blog BOOM! You’re in the running. No problem. Don’t worry, you’re not disqualified if I nominated you for Versatile Blogger.

Since this is called a “Kreativ Blog” award, I am going to look at everyone’s blog. It will just be a quick glance. It will take me about 30 seconds for me to decide whether or not it is “creative”. The marketing manager in me is drooling over the opportunity.

I’ll start hopping tonight, make a list of which are creative, and then start narrowing it down to the six most creative.

Good luck!

Sunday Speed Snippet – Connect the Dots – And where’s yours?

Well, I’m half way through this blog tour.  Whew!  This is exhausting!

In honor of the Release of “For the Lost of Christmas” today I’m serving up a snippet from “Connect the Dots.”  Enjoy! (This is from Random page # 27)

“Why the frig do you put up with me? I can be such an ass.”

I bit back a smile, letting the silence linger.

He laughed and turned around. “That was your cue to say ‘no Jack, you’re not an ass at all’.”

“Well, since we’re all being honest…”

Jack sucked in his cheek. “Okay, I deserved that. I was a total idiot. I admit it.” He glided his arms around my shoulders, and pulled me toward his chest. “Thanks for trying to stop me, even though I was too dumb to listen.” He shook his head. “I’m so glad I didn’t go through with it.”

Okay, your turn!

1. Check the number of pages in your current WIP.

2. Go to http://www.random.org/ (or any random number generator)

3. Get a random page

5. Post a hundred or so words starting at the first full sentence on the page either below in the comments, or on your blog and link it below.

Let’s have some fun!

I can’t wait it see what you’re working on!

Kreativ Blogger Award – TWICE in one Night!

Wow, did I get a nice surprise when I got home from wrestling practice tonight.

(No, I am not wrestling… two of my sons are)

My normal Thursday night post is going to have to wait because both the Lovely and Talented Jenny Keller Ford and the Smart and Savvy Sandra Madeira both graced me with the Kreativ Blogger award today.

They both totally rock.  Please go take a look at their blogs and give them a follow.

Thank you so much for thinking of me, Sandra and Jenny!

The Kreativ blogger award rules are:

1. Share 10 things about yourself that readers might find interesting.

2. Pass the award onto 6 other bloggers (be sure to leave a comment on each of the blogs to let them know).

Hmmm… I just did a “ten thing a little over a month ago, so I guess I need ten more tidbits of useless info.

1.  Okay, we can get personal.  I have three kids.  All Boys ages 5-11.  Two in wrestling.  One in Dog Training.  (No, he’s not a dog he’s quite handsome, thank you very much!)

2.  My princess poodle is in training for her Canine Good Citizen exam which takes place in about six weeks.  FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION

3.  I have a wonderful husband who cooks for me.  Thank goodness.  I don’t like burned food.

4.  Yes, I work full-time, and raise a family, and write novels, and teach others everything I know, from computer programming to grammar.  Sleep is optional.

5.  I collect fish.  Yeah, it’s a little hard space wise.  I have two ponds full in the backyard with heaters so they don’t freeze their little tails off.

6.  My roof is leaking.  Don’t know why I told you that.

7.  I can’t spell for the life of me.  Spell check is my best friend.  Now, if it could just teach me the difference between bought and brought.  🙂

8.  I love fonts.  Can’t get enough of them.  (You know this is your read my blog regularly)

9.  Dark chocolate covered raisins and bananas are gifts from God, as are Japanese Peanuts

10.  I gush when I get awards!  Big smiles!  Waves!

Ten Blogs to re-gift this award to.  This is always a tough one.  I over thing things… I’m anal like that.  So this is going to have to wait for another night, because my husband is calling me, and I don’t want him to be mad at me… he might stop cooking, and no one wants me to burn the house down.

Thanks!  Gush Gush 🙂

Review of Eldest by Christopher Paolini

The Monomaniacal Middle Grade Reviewer and I discuss the Novel Eldest by Christopher Paolini.

So, what are your thoughts on Eldest?  Chime in.  I’m interested!

Lesson Twenty-Two from a Manuscript Red Line: Does your Protagonist “Grow Enough?”

 

In the closing comments of the Gold Mine Manuscript, the Publisher who red-lined it noted that the MC didn’t “Grow enough”.

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

They said the main character does not have a struggle in the story that pulls him from one state of being to another.  They thought he was pretty much the same at the end of the novel as he was in the beginning.

I’m not really sure I completely agree about this comment.  I saw little changes in the character throughout the novel.  I suppose the problem was the presentation of the final scene.  The author wound down from a big action scene very well, and in the end, the MC is relaxing and thinking.

I am just guessing here, but maybe the Main Character’s thoughts should have reflected HOW he is changed.  Maybe he should be thinking:  “Wow, I was such a stuck up prude, and the world used to revolve around me, and now I just put my life on the line and fought an army and stood up for myself to protect a whole kingdom!”

Okay, that was really bad, but do you get my meaning?  Again, this is totally a guess, but this publisher is looking for “the change”… What happens to the MC along the journey that makes him or her a better person?  This, again, brings me back to my own novel (and you should be thinking about yours)

Does Magellan change?  Well, yes.

  • He starts out confident,
  • Gets ripped away from his family, get unconfident.
  • He gets the approval of the King, gets confident,
  • He leaves the King’s house, gets picked on all the time, and gets unconfident again
  • Finally, in the end, he steps up to the plate, and proves his worth in the climax.

However—does he think about this in the closing scene?  Well, no, he doesn’t.  But… in the last few lines there is another change that slaps the reader in the face with an “Oh my Gosh!”

My overall change, like in the Gold Mine Manuscript, happens during the climax.  Then there is this little hook after the wind-down in the last paragraph, which could be considered an epiphany.  It includes another change, and then a “no way!”  Is this going to fly in the publisher’s opinion?  Dunno.

I changed my ending a lot in the last year to make sure Magellan changes.  I had him fall in love, I had him not be in love, I had him flat, I dealt with amnesia, I had him accept who he was, I had him outright refuse to be the factotum… yikes what I put this kid though!

Admittedly in the first draft, he really didn’t change at all… at least on the inside.  I didn’t know this was a pre-requisite for story-writing.  Now, I think the change is there.  At least, I THINK THAT’S WHAT I WROTE (Go back and read that post if you don’t remember it)

I hope my stab at an exciting last page didn’t “blow it” but I guess that’s for the publishers to decide.

What about yours?

Jennifer Eaton