Okay, here is a new one. It’s really an Authors game, and this is kind of fun. I was tagged by my buddy, amazing soon-to-be published author Jenny Keller Ford.
Here’s the rules of engagement:
1. Go to page 77 of your current manuscript or WIP
2. Go to line 7. Copy down the next seven sentences as they are written. No Cheating!
3. Tag 7 authors and pass on the Lucky Seven Meme
Well, My current Whirlwind WIP is a 35 page novelette, so I will defer to my first love, HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT. Here is an excerpt, fitting the parameters above. You are about to enter the demented mind of my villain, as he decides to murder my beloved Main Character:
It was an odd sensation, being warmed by the sudden dark of a freak storm, but he welcomed it. His father always said that the weather reacted to Castillia’s mood. The sudden exhilaration must be her touch. She was calling him, and he answered. The darkness was not to be feared; it made him stronger. It gave him the final strength to do what he knew must be done for the greater good.
Outside the window, Magellan and Meagan took shelter from the storm under a tree, huddling closely beneath its branches. Stephen grimaced in disgust as Meagan rested her head on the snit’s shoulder. The anger inside him boiled.
First of all, be sure to hop on over to read Jenny Keller Ford‘s brilliant excerpt from “In the Shadow of the Dragon King”.
I am officially tagging a few people just to see what their WIP’s look like.
I originally wasn’t going to post this, but I changed my mind. This first part I wrote on February 1st, 2012. I will continue it below with an update…
Feb 1, 2012
I have officially been blogging for six months. I don’t want to seem redundant, but I NEVER expected anyone to read me. Today, my rant ticker is at 5,700. Pretty amazing if you ask me.
When I reached 1,000 hits, I blogged about it. I couldn’t believe it. When I hit five-thousand, it was numbing. That was just a little over a week ago. I don’t think I even said anything. I didn’t want to jinx myself.
Now, for some of you this might not seem like a big deal. I know there are bloggers out there that get this many hits in a day. But little old me?
A friend of mine had her blog recently hit 10,000. I shook my head (I was at 3,000 at the time) I figured it would be years before I could even think about that number. Then I had an epiphany. My numbers were increasing… quickly. Why? Dunno.
I just write. It’s what I do. Apparently though, you guys like it. Hits increase, and followers increase. Blog awards? You’ve got to be kidding me.
Hi! She waves. It’s still just me.
I looked at my “background view” and perused the monthly stats from startup July 17th 2011 through today. I giggled at the astounding average of “seven hits a day” that first month. The second month had a whopping average of five hits a day. (Yeah, it actually went down. Pitiful.)
Then something happened. I can’t tell you what. You tell me.
Hi! It’s me… the same person **she smiles and waves enthusiastically**.
Smack me upside the head to make me believe it… I glanced at the numbers. Even stared for a few minutes. They forecasted I would hit 10,000 hits by early May. Before I even hit my one year Blogiversary.
Nope. Can’t be right. Not possible.
I looked at it again a few days later, and the stats changed. Now they forecasted hitting 10,000 by the end of April (April 29th, to be exact) My numbers were going up. My daily hits were up 25-50 percent. Really?
***she giggles*** Still just me.
Gosh, I wish I could give you the magic potion I drank. I wish I knew what it was! I’d drink more (as long as it tasted like green Gatorade)
Again, some may look at this and just laugh at me. Yes, I am still small time in the eyes of many… But this spunky opinionated lady is pretty dern excited to have so many people stopping by every day. Thanks so much for following!
—–Well, the reason I decided not to post that, was it sounded too goofy. (and I didn’t want to jinx myself) But this is why I changed my mind…—-
Part two… Written today
Stop reading now. Look on the upper right of the screen. “Join the Insanity: ?????? Minds ranted to date.”
Do you see what I see? Holy Cow with a capital MOOOOOOO!
And what’s today? How many days ahead of schedule?
Omigosh. This is incredibly cool!
I really don’t know why 10,000 was so stinking important, but in my deranged mind it is. For some reason it makes me feel like I am doing something right. I don’t know. It’s crazy, but I like it!
I want to personally thank every one of you. Thanks so much for stopping by every few days, and thanks for hanging out and adding your two cents to the conversations.
If I was out there, ranting with no one responding, I probably wouldn’t do this at all. You guys are what makes this special. I love the friendships I have made, and look forward to new ones.
If you told me last July that I would be here right now, I would have rolled my eyes.
My characters breathe. There. I said it. THEY BREATHE. People breathe, right? Get over it!
Ugh. A beta recently said “your characters breathe a lot.” Hmmmmm. Do they? Nifty little count-it trick to the rescue (Click here if you need the trick)
Yikes! In 50 pages different characters breathed deeply, or took some sort of a breath 23 times!
No No No NO! She smacks herself in the head.
Now…. breathing. It’s normal. Everyone does it, right?
Ergghhhhhh. I think the deep breathing was a spastic reaction to making sure they don’t sigh too much. I guess my sighs turned into deep breaths. Now they all walk around sounding like Darth Vader.
The problem is, this seems normal to me. If I think hard about something, or I am about to say something important, I feel myself taking in a deep breath. Some call that a sigh. Because I do it, my characters do it. I guess I need to curb that habit.
It’s hard though, isn’t it? There are just so many descriptive words in the English language that don’t jostle you out of the story because they are too “odd”. It leaves us stepping, looking, sighing, and taking deep breaths.
Ugh. No one said this writing gig was easy, my friends.
You just have to stop breathing.
I’m talking about your characters. Breathe, QUICK! You’re turning blue!
Whew! That was a close one. You guys gotta stop taking me so literally.
Watch for words you use too much. Trust me, you won’t even see them. Someone will have to point it out to you and make you feel silly.
Sorry Little Blue Lady from Mars. I don’t have time to interview you today.
Unacceptable! I will be interviewed!
Wow! Did you just get bigger? Ummmm… Will you answer questions? Give helpful comments?
Ha Ha! No! I am here to take over the world!
.
.
Ummmmm. Maybe next week.
Today we are talking to the lovely and talented Brinda Berry
Hello, Brinda!
(Imagine Brinda waving madly)
Your first novel, The Waiting Booth was published in 2011. It was your very first published piece, right?
Yes, The Waiting Booth was my debut novel.
Do you have an agent?
I don’t have an agent. I have experience in querying agents but not in obtaining one. That was supposed to be funny. If you are an author, you should be smiling.
A brave lady. Publisher direct, Huh? So, How many publishers did you query before finding Etopia?
I have a spreadsheet with the exact number and details, but I’d say I queried a dozen before receiving the offer from Etopia Press.
What was your funniest/most memorable rejection letter?
Most of what I received were form letters. I don’t remember any specific letter that stands out. It’s all a blur. You begin to feel that you can recite the first paragraph of a rejection letter before you read it.
How did you settle down with Etopia press?
I participated in an online conference with authors and publishers. This conference, Digicon, accomplished two things for me. It gave me tons of information about digital publishing as opposed to traditional publishing. It exposed me to the changes taking place in publishing. It also gave authors the opportunity to participate in online pitch sessions with requested publishers. I received two offers as a result of the pitches. I chose Etopia because of the quality of their published works and their input on my manuscript.
I have a fifty pound poodle that could eat your cairn terriers. Either that, or she’d roll around with them making a mess of the lawn.
I hope she’d roll around with them.
Chloe is licking her chops looking over the screen. Don’t let her bows fool you.
Brinda: One of my cairns believes he is a bull mastiff. If challenged, he acts like a lunatic.
Sounds like a two-on-one puppy derby!
Okay, back on topic. Your first novel, The Waiting Booth, was told in “mostly first person” you switched to another POV in a few chapters. New writers are told to shy away from this. How’d you get away with it? Did the publisher have any concerns?
Although I felt this was the right thing for me to do in my story, I did have reservations. I quizzed my editor about the risk in another POV, and she whole-heartedly supported it. She had no reservations and I trusted her instincts. You will see this again in the second book of the series, Whisper of Memory.
So, interdimensional portals hidden in the woods, huh? Where did that concept come from?
I have a wild imagination. What can I say? Actually, I’ve always loved stories about portals. Also, I spend two hours daily in a car for my commute. I enjoy listening to NPR podcasts about string theory, black holes, and alternate dimensions.
Sexy government agents are always a hoot too.
One of mine is a hoot. The other is just sexy.
Just sexy works for me 🙂 Let’s see… If you had a choice between a pound of Godiva chocolate, or a week’s free Starbuck’s coffee, which would you take?
Could I take 1/2 lb of Godiva with the 3.5 days of Starbucks?
Nope.
You are drill sergeant tough. I guess the chocolate. One Christmas, my husband gave me a 5 lb. box of Godivas. The man loves me.
Yeah for thoughtful hubbies!
I hear you’re an internet junkie. What’s your favorite internet site?
I spend most of my time reading blogs. I like Amazon a lot because you can find anything there. I spend a limited amount of time on social media like Twitter and Facebook.
Yeah, I’m not much for Twitter or Facebook either, although I have met some interesting people on Twitter.
Your new novel, Whisper of Memory, is out on March 16. How long have you been working on it?
I worked on it for approximately three months. That does not include time editing after it was submitted to my editor. After submission and contract signing, you can add several additional months.
Because I work a day job, I’m a slow writer. I hope to get faster at some point (or not require a day job).
Quick Brenda Run!
Aaaaaa!
Okay, I just blocked her with my cyber-super-blog-o-blocometer. We’re safe. Quick, before she breaks back in, tell us about your new novel.
Are you sure it’s safe?
Yeah, I’ve got my finger on the blocometer button. go ahead.
Okay. Whisper of Memory is Book 2 in the Whispering Woods series. It was actually more fun to write since I knew the characters so much better. I like to have lots of action, and it was interesting to create problems for my characters. Mia Taylor, the main character, is a high school senior who is a synesthete. Her sensory perception is different from the norm. Beyond the typical synesthesia experience, Mia is able to sense portals. In Book 1, The Waiting Booth, she wanted to find her missing older brother. This book still includes that goal but adds the tension of a romantic relationship.
Did you have this plot in mind when you finished book #1, or did that come later.
I already had this book plotted when I finished Book 1. Otherwise, the first book might have ended differently.
If anyone wants to get a taste of Brinda’s first novel, here is the trailer. You can pick up book one now so you are all ready for the release of book two in a few days.
Check out the book trailer here!
Just curious, did your publisher ask you for another novel, or did you wave and say “Hi, I have more!”
When I pitched my story for the first book, I let them know that I had plans for three in this series. I was asked to give the details for the entire series arc.
What is one bit of advice you can give to “soon to be published” authors?
One rejection does not a failure make. Seriously. Also, authors should be open to new ideas and challenges.
Great! Thanks, Brinda. As you know, Q & A is a prerequisite to stopping by here. Are you ready to answer questions?
If you’re just hopping into the insanity that is my writing life, check out Parts #1 and #2 or this won’t make sense.
So, I have a main character. I know who she is. I’ve written two pages. She meets a little girl and a dog.
I stop myself.
Learn from your mistakes, Jennifer. You need more than this. You only have two months to write and polish this story for submission. There is no room for error. You need an outline. You need absolute direction and form. No room for straying.
Was I stuck? No. Two drives alone in the car gave me four more characters. I have their wants, needs, and desires set in my mind. I know how they will react when meeting my main character. I know what is going to happen. I know how it will end. It wasn’t on paper, but I had an outline.
I went back and looked at the first two pages. Wow. They were beautifully written. Probably the cleanest first draft I’ve ever done.
Too bad they didn’t work anymore.
I took a few key descriptive sentences I liked, and set the rest aside to start over.
In the back of my mind I knew everyone else was three weeks ahead of me. But I knew where I was going now. I had focus.
I knew how the story started. I knew all five character’s motivations. I knew the plot, and I knew the ending. In fact, I could picture it. The publisher gave it to me— it was that odd picture that I could not find a story in three weeks ago. Funny how that happens, huh?
So, I knew where I was going… Now, I just needed to bring my characters there.
10,000 words writing to a deadline… outside the comfort zone of my genre.
This is the real world. Here we go.
In the immortal world of Crush the Turtle: “Let’s see what Little Dude can do.”
I think the problem is that everyone out there who tries to explain it goes so stinking in-depth that they just make it more confusing than it needs to be.
I found articles that flung around transitive and intransitive… tenses… participles… Ugh! Can anyone explain the English Language in ENGLISH, PLEEEEEEAAASE? I mean, really… I am an English major. I love words, but you need to be able to write so people can understand what you are saying! (Sorry, that is a rant for another day.)
Anyway… in translating all these over-worded college professors… this is what I came up with:
A few common parenting faux pas have just reiterated the lay verses lie problem from the time we are children. I have to admit I do this stuff too, but I am going to try to watch myself from now, on.
(By the way… There is no plural form of “faux pas.” I thought it looked weird too. I looked it up to check.)
Common child’s prayer: “Now I lay me down to sleep”
Since this is in the present tense, it should actually be “Now I lie me down to sleep.”
What do you say to your dog? “Go lay down.”
Nope. Start telling them to “Go lie down.”
(I am saying dog there because I realized that I tell my kids to Lie down, but I tell my dog to Lay down. My kids are hearing it both ways. Yeah, I’m not screwing them up too much.
I found this spreadsheet on Grammer-Worksheets.com. I think it does a pretty good job of laying it all out (no pun intended.)
Base Form
Past Tense
Past Participle
Present Participle
lie (to stretch out, recline)
lay
lain
lying
lay (to place, to put)
laid
laid
laying
Now, do you notice what I notice? Look at the past tense of “Lie”
Let’s not make it too confusing now!
I wrote a post yesterday saying “As I lay on the table”. I was reading up on all this and I thought, “Crud, I didn’t lay on the table, I guess I lied on the table.—No, maybe it’s lie.” I was all ready to go back and change it while I was researching this, until I found this chart. You can lie down on a table, but two days ago, you lay on the table. I was actually right the first time.
What I suggest you do if you struggle with this, is copy this chart and print it out. Tape it to your wall. When you run into the Lay/Lie conundrum, think: “Am I reclining or stretching, or am I placing an object somewhere.”
If you place the salt on the table, you lay it on the table. If you are going to bed, you lie down.
Easy enough, right? Until you switch it to past tense and screw yourself all up anyway.
Well, I guess it’s a given. No one would disagree with me. The good news is that I’m cancer free again. Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. Yes, skin cancer is curable (if you catch it in time). But I don’t think people realize what they have to do to cure it.
My malignant basal cell was on my arm. It was only about a quarter of an inch round. Like the size of a squashed pea. No biggie, right?
When I lay on that table, and they started drawing on my arm with a sharpie, I actually said: “You don’t have to cut that much, do you?”
My surgeon explained that they have to cut bigger and wider so they can close it evenly. He assured me that the scar wouldn’t be that big. Okay… not really worried about the scar at that moment!
Holy freaking cow. Get a ruler and draw a box that is a little over two inches long, and about three quarters of an inch wide. Now put that baby on your arm.
Say what? How stinking deep do you have to go?
Well, about ten minutes later, they were picking me up off the floor, and calling my husband in.
Okay, maybe I’m a wimp, but I think there should be a law that says you have to knock someone out before cutting two inches of flesh from their arm. Sounds logical, right?
My husband is such a trooper. He stood beside me and held my hand and talked me through it. When they prepared to close me up an hour later, he glanced at my arm and his eyes told me everything that his fake smile did not. Today, he told me he couldn’t believe how long and deep the cut was.
I don’t know what it looked like. I kept my eyes on him. I didn’t want to pass out again.
Not to gross you out, but this is what the stitches look like a day and a half later, from a pea-sized cancer cell.
Okay. I lied. I do want to gross you out. Now will you go and buy some stinking sunscreen? Yes, that scar is going almost completely across my arm.
Don’t be an idiot. I did this to myself 25 years ago, when we didn’t know any better. Now, we do know better. Do your best to protect yourself. Stay out of the sun, and if you can’t find shade, get some descent sunscreen.
Like I said before, if going through this helps a few of you to avoid it, it is all worthwhile.
You can go puke now. (It’s okay, I don’t mind) and then get back to writing your novel.
(After you order some sunscreen— SPF 50 or higher.)
In Part One, I told you about this publisher’s writing prompt. I told you I decided to pass, even though it was a great opportunity. It nagged at me, though. I have written two Epic 400,000 word series. Why the heck couldn’t I do something with this picture?
I opened the web site back up. I stared at that picture. I was brutally aware that I was now two-weeks behind all those happy writers that seemed to be all over this story. I could do this. I stared at the picture some more. I put it on my desktop. Looked at it all the time. Thought about it all the time.
Had I lost my touch?
“Just do it,” my son says. “Just write it. Get it over with and see what happens.” I ground my teeth as my own words came back to haunt me. (See my previous post) Problem was… this was a publisher, not a fourth-grade teacher. They wouldn’t be happy with a “B”. This needed to be “A” grade work.
I had no idea where to start, so I used a trick that I’ve used in my novels when I’m not sure how to start a new chapter. I took the character in the picture— I knew nothing about her, just what she was wearing and a setting.
I sat down to my keyboard, and had her take a simple step. The wind whipped up around her. Her shoes got dirty in the mud. The air chilled her face… I engaged myself into her setting. I allowed myself to feel her.
You know what happened?
Within one paragraph, I knew who she was. I knew where she was going. I knew how she had to get there. I knew why she was going. I knew what she had to do. Her character snowballed in my mind.
Do have a story? Well, no. Not yet. I need more characters. I need to develop those characters. I need conflict. I need antagonists. I need explosions. I need overlying theme and plot.
But I had a start. And, to my surprise, I was suddenly interested in that woman in the picture.
Wow. It has been about 7 months since my beta partner and I sat on the phone pulling our hair out over the comments the publisher made on her manuscript. I think at this point I have hacked up and drilled everything they had to say as much as possible. The rest of their comments are just repeats of the same mistakes throughout the work.
Sooooo….. This is the last one. Thirty posts in all.
So, did this help you? Did you learn from this? I totally did. My novel is much more crisp, clean, and fluid as a result of all this information. I hope you have benefitted as well.
Now the only problem is…. What do I post about on Monday nights from now on?
**GACK** I have no idea!
Here are all the lessons in a sparkly package for you. If you missed one, I’d suggest going back and taking a look. Heck, maybe read them over again to get a fresh perspective.
I hope that you have all benefitted from these lessons as much as I have. I’d also like to send out a special “thanks” to the brave author who was nice enough to allow me to slice and dice her red-lined manuscript for all the world to learn from.
Just out of curiosity, which lessons helped you the most?
I truly hope all of you will have the opportunity one day to add the revised version of the Gold Mine Manuscript into your own libraries. Once it is published, (with the author’s permission) I will let you know so you can all see the value of good clear suggestions, and the results of hard work and editing.
Misuse of these two words is really common. I hear people do it all the time. Even in my own house, which I try to keep as grammatically correct as possible.
The words “I” and “me” get my husband and me into a rumble once in a while. He will correct one of my sons, and then I will correct him, because my son was right. In our culture in the USA, there is so much “overcorrection” of the word “I” that it is starting to sound right when people use it incorrectly.
Let’s take the first sentence in the previous paragraph. “The words get my husband and me into a rumble.” It sounds wrong, doesn’t it? I actually typed it incorrectly the first time (yeah, I am admitting it) because “I” just sounded right. I then went back and corrected it.
How can you tell if you are wrong? Take out the other person, and leave the sentence the same. Let’s try it.
The words get my husband and me into a rumble
The words get me into a rumble.
The second sounds correct, so we did it right. In this example, “My husband and me” is correct. Now, let’s do it incorrectly
The words get my husband and I into a rumble.
The words get I into a rumble.
Oh! That didn’t work too well, did it? In this case “My Husband and I” is incorrect. If you are ever unsure, just take out the second subject and see how it works out.
Need an example when “I” would be correct? Well, ask and ye shall receive!
George and I should have dinner sometime
I should have dinner sometime
That sounds good. Okay, how about “Me?”
George and me should have dinner sometime
Me should have dinner sometime.
Oh, Yuck! That didn’t work at all. So, in this example, “I” is correct.
The problem is, that “You and I” has been so OVER-CORRECTED, that the word “I” almost always sounds correct. Even to me. In the first example, I really wanted to write “My husband and I.”
This is a case of English being an evolving language. As a writer, you need to make a choice to follow the natural progression of language, or to adhere to “correctness”.
Honestly, between us… your reader probably won’t even notice.
The questions is— which camp your editor/publisher is in?
1. Go to page 77 of your current manuscript or WIP
Yes, The Waiting Booth was my debut novel.
Jennifer M Eaton 