Monthly Archives: April 2012

Writing to a Deadline Part 9: “And the beta-reading verdict is?”

Posted on April 20, 2012 | 16 comments

If you’re just hopping into the insanity that is my writing life, check out my previous “Writing to a Deadline” posts or this won’t make sense.

Note:  This post is mainly for those of you who have not yet been through the beta-process.  Just to prepare you for what it can be like.

Last week I sent out my story LAST WINTER RED to a small Beta Army.  And back the comments come…

Three fast “I just read it” responses came back in one day.  “Liked the story” on each of them.  At least that’s a step in the right direction.  Next step… they will go through and make suggestions.

Time to wait again

The professor got back to me noting “Great story” but lack of setting.  Yeah… I’m famous for that.  I only give what’s absolutely necessary.  I’ll think that over.  There was also a small element that she thought was lost in the middle.  Easy fix, but it will put me close to the word count.  She was also totally engaged and drawn in by my beginning. Yay!

Critical Beta Reader #1 comes back, and hates my beginning. She didn’t mention lack of setting at all.  (Don’t you love contradicting crits?)   She pointed out a few details that she thought were overdone.  Easy fixes.  When she finished, there was more red than black on the page, though. Ugh.

Getting nervous. Re-write of one section per Professor’s comment brings me up to 10,075 words.  Yikes! Editing per Critical Beta #1’s suggestions brings it back down to 9,975. Whew!

My long time beta partner says it just needs a little tweaking.  She likes the beginning, but not my starting point.  She’s probably right, and this might be what critical Beta #1 meant, too.  I think I can fix this now that I understand better…  Just move the starting point three minutes later of where it is now.  She also suggested inserting a little more turmoil over the conflict early on for the MC.  Hmmmm.  I can do that, my only concern is only having an extra 25 words before the 10,000 word maximum.

Romance Beta comes back and actually liked the kissy stuff????  Yea for me!  She pointed out things that the others didn’t even see.

Memoir writer also pointed out some minor things that others didn’t notice.  Easy fixes.

Two people thought my closing six words were absolutely brilliant.  They both mentioned it without me asking… but Critical Beta # 1 deleted them without comment.  Too funny.

So many suggestions fly at you so quickly… you need to decide what fits for what YOU want in the work… and at the same time, please the masses… not everyone.  It’s impossible to resonate with every reader.

Clock is ticking.

Three people made the same comment about a rock in the well during my climax.  Going for a complete re-write of that scene.

Ugh… no words to spare.

Tick tock, tick tock… no pressure.

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Book Review of The P.U.R.E. by Claire Gillian

Posted on April 19, 2012 | 25 comments

When I was offered a free advance copy of The P.U.R.E. from its publisher, I almost passed.  I am not a mystery fan.  I prefer something with lots of action and explosions.  But I figured, what the heck, it’s free.

So, I sat down one day and began reading what I expected to be a dull, boring drama.

Boy, was I in for a surprise.

Once again, I will use the Oreo Cookie Concept for reviewing:  Start with the crunchy goodness, dig into the squishy bad, and then end on a crunchy good note.

This one was a little tricky for me.

.

To start, were there any explosions?  No?  Sorry, but she loses a cookie there. (Yeah, I know that’s not fair, but it’s my rating system.  Get over it.)

What POV was it written in?  First Person “I”.  What?  UGH!  I hate first person!  Lose another cookie.

Okay, let’s not worry… She is still in “I liked it” range with three cookies.

Claire Gillian did an amazing job intertwining the overall mystery plot with the “Girl falling for the guy at the office” plot.  Not being a mystery fan, I actually gravitated more toward the romance aspect initially, but Ms. Gillian quickly sucked me in to her overall world of corporate Hell.

The best part about this book is the really defined main characters.  I totally believed them, and living in a cubicle myself for the last twenty years, I can totally relate to the inter-office politics.

Personally, I believe the realism of the characterization comes from the excellent POV writing.  I’m not a fan of first person because normally I find it confining.  Not so here.

So, Ms. Gillian, I am giving you your cookie back for POV.  This is probably the best First Person POV I have ever read.  You are back up to four out of five cookies.

The creamy filling… the bad stuff

This is going to sound uber-critical of me, but I just couldn’t leave this section blank.  After all, no one is perfect.  I have to admit, that I really needed to rack my brain over faults in The P.U.R.E.  So, after much more in-depth pondering than a normal person would do…here you have it:

There were a lot of characters in the office environment.  I got confused with who was who.  Even in the ending scenes, I wasn’t sure who was who.  This didn’t really bother me, though, because frankly, it just didn’t matter at that point.  (In a good way—I was so absorbed I didn’t even stop to think about it.) –not subtracting a cookie for this

This is something I feel like I need to mention, although it breaks my heart to do it.  I caught a few typos.  Ugh.  Okay… remember I am looking for something bad to say, because this novel was so dern good… so there!  I found three punctuation typos.

Since I had an advance copy, I let them know about the typos, hoping they could fix them.  I don’t know if they did.  The problem with a typo is that I stopped reading.  I flipped my Kindle in all different directions to read it different ways to see if it was really a typo.  This is a problem because I am no longer reading the story.  I lost the scene.  You never want your reader to stumble in the middle of a scene.

I need to subtract at least a bite out of a cookie for that.  I will happily remove the bite if the typos are fixed in the next revise.

Ending on a crunchy good note:

Once in a while, an author surprises me by breaking the rules.  I would like to give super-big kudos to Claire Gillian for not ignoring the subject of condoms.  They are always used, and when the romantic leads didn’t have one, they didn’t have sex.

GOOD FOR YOU CLAIRE GILLIAN!!!!!

The two characters even had a conversation about STDs and birth control.  For myself, having lost a cousin to a sexually transmitted disease, I have to nod in appreciation to the author.  This is the first time I have read anything that didn’t ignore that detail/concern like it didn’t exist.

For this, Ms. Gillian, I am giving you an extra cookie just because.  Thank you for being socially conscious, while keeping it romantic and real.  This totally makes up for the lack of explosions. (And I have to admit there was a high action scene that I thoroughly enjoyed that made up for it a little as well.)

Final cookie count?  Four and three-quarters of a cookie, and I will happily make it a five cookie review if the typos are fixed.

I was thinking this over, and wondering where I would place this novel on my “best of” scale.  I cringe to say it since this is a mystery novel, but the P.U.R.E. firmly has a place in the top five novels I have ever read.

I highly recommend all authors to read The P.U.R.E. and concentrate on Claire Jillian’s characterization, and her voice.  I have large chunks of text highlighted to go back and analyze to learn from how she presented it.  The writing is crisp, clean, and easy to read.  Not only will you be enjoying a great novel, but I think all authors could learn a lesson or two from her great writing style.

Am I now a mystery fan?  No, not at all.

Would I buy another Claire Gillian novel?  Yes, absolutely.  I wouldn’t hesitate for a single second.

Buy The P.U.R.E. at Amazon.com

Buy The P.U.R.E. at Barnes and noble

Note: Barnes and Noble has it on sale for $11.46 in paperback right now.  Digital is $4.99 on both sites.

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My First Face to Face Critique Group

Posted on April 18, 2012 | 22 comments

Believe it or not, up until today I had never been part of a face-to-face critique group.

There weren’t any around me, and I didn’t want to travel all the way into the city and pay $30 for parking.

I had thought of starting my own, but hesitated because of the work involved with being a moderator.  Then, luckily enough, a friend of mine started one ½ hour from me.  She was so nervous, and very happy when I signed up… THe old strength in friendly numbers thing.

In retrospect, we discussed a few mistakes, one of which was opening it up to ANYONE who was interested.  She was trying to be nice, but it was frustrating to get there after critiquing ten pages of 4 other authors, and only having two other people show up. (The moderator, myself, and another participant)

It worked out fine, but I wasted valuable time reading and critiquing twenty pages for two people who will never see my comments,  — and if you know me… 20 pages equals about 90 comments. I am very thorough.  Also, I won’t see what they did for me (if they ever even read mine in the first place)

In retrospect, we discussed only opening up the critique sessions to established members of our writing group (which is 300 members strong).  This way, we can be sure the people are already invested, and not just “fly by night”.

What WAS good was that the three of us who came were serious.  We critiqued each other’s work, and since we had an extra hour, chatted further about each piece than we would have been able to under normal circumstances. (If the other two showed up)

I was particularly tickled that they both asked for the rest of my work (Last Winter Red) because they liked it so much they wanted to see what happened.  Everyone needs a little ego-boost now and then 🙂

Did they come up with anything my beta-army didn’t?  Yeah, a few things.  Every set of eyes notices something different.  What was cool was that I could talk to them about it.  The only problem with on-line beta partners is that you have to email back questions, and sometimes that’s hard.  Here, we just chatted it over.

Probably— if I knew who the people were, and I could trust that they would show up.  I believe that the more opinions you get, the better your work will be… and someone may just see one word that is wrong that everyone else read over.

Also, I love getting out and chatting with other writers.  I love helping people develop.  There are so many people out there with great ideas, they just need help formulating them in a marketable way.

I was there once (a novice), and it was not too long ago.  Someone helped me.  Okay, a lot of people helped me.  Gosh, I was bad… but my ideas were good.  Now that I know a little bit about writing, it’s my turn to share the wealth.

That’s not to say that I don’t make the same silly mistakes all the time.  I am nowhere near arrogant enough to say I don’t need my beta-readers.  I am just to the point where I know what they mean when they think something is not right.  I can look at their comments, hit myself in the head, and I know EXACTLY how to fix it.

Other writers taught me how to do that.

Now, I can give that knowledge back to others.

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Flash Fiction Tuesday – A picture under a door

Posted on April 17, 2012 | 5 comments

Rich sat sobbing, leaning over a box, stroking the hair of a little brown ferret.  His friend.  His accomplice.  Ferris had been his best friend since his dog died eight years ago.  They played hide and seek.  They cuddled on the couch.  She always made him smile when he had a bad day at work.

Today was not a day for smiling, as he stroked her side, waiting for her to breathe her last breath.

A piece of paper slid under the door.  He ignored it.  His son was on the other side, peeking through the glass panes.

“Not now, Jason.”

Jason’s lip shot out in a five-year old pout.  He didn’t move.

Rich turned back to the box, grieving over his loss.  He ignored the child staring at him through the glass.  Jason was the problem kid.  He never knew when to leave his Dad alone.  This time was no different.

Jason pounded on the door.

“I said not now!”

Jason stood his ground, and Rich picked up the paper his son had slid under the door….  A simple drawing.  A stick-figure person, and a little brown animal…  A boy and his ferret.

Rich opened the door, and scooped his son up into his arms.  They sat on the couch, and cried… together.

I guess the fact I have the picture says it all.
Thanks for crying with me.

.

.

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Writing to a Deadline Part 8: “Calling in the Beta Reading Army”

Posted on April 16, 2012 | 10 comments

If you’re just hopping into the insanity that is my writing life, check out my previous “Writing to a Deadline” posts or this won’t make sense.

I was happily surprised when I sat down to edit, that I had very few things to change.  Mostly typographical errors and little things like switching sentence structure to make it flow better.

The one scene that I purposely wrote as “tell” took a little time to work out, but it’s finally done.

So, I took a deep breath, and called in a Beta-reading army.  Crossed genres and ages.  These are all people I have a fairly high trust factor with:

Two are currently mercilessly ripping apart my novel and making great comments

One is a college professor who teaches creative writing (She has never read my work)

One is a Romance/ Middle-Grade soon to be publisher author who hasn’t read my work (she’s there for that kissy stuff I’ve never done before)

A memoir writer, who also has not read my work

A High Fantasy writer (my writing buddy for the past year or so—-who’s sick of reading my work) (ONLY KIDDING!)

My first ten pages will also be reviewed by three people in a critique group who I’ve never met before.

It’s kind of like submitting to a publisher, but you know these people will get back to you.

Funny, I was more nervous about this beta-read than I was about my novel.  Probably because I feel deep down, that the story is pretty solid.  After dissecting the Gold Mine Manuscript for seven months, I think I know what NOT TO DO.  The question is… did I write what I THINK I wrote.

I also have that deadline looming over my head.  And I don’t want to wait until the last minute… just in case the publisher decides to close for submissions early.  It’s enough to make you a nervous wreck.  Will I have time to make all the changes they might suggest? (If I agree with the suggestions, of course)

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The HUG Award – Krista Magrowski, Jon Gibbs, Danielle Ackley McPhail

Posted on April 15, 2012 | 4 comments
A few weeks ago (okay, it was almost a month ago — sorry) Jenny Keller Ford bestowed on me the Hug Award.  This is a very special award, and I am happy and proud to have received it.  Hugs back to Jenny, a phenomenal writer with a huge future ahead of her.
Since this is lengthy, I am cutting and pasting the particulars of this award from Jenny Keller Ford’s post below.

My winners for the Hug award are:

Krista Magrowski:  Krista runs my Writers Group, and she keeps an open and encouraging atmosphere where writers can exchange ideas and cheer each other on.

Jon Gibbs:  Jon Gibbs is the founder of the New Jersey Authors Network.  He sponsors talks frequently where published writers can meet up with  aspiring authors to encourage them and answer questions.

Danielle Ackley McPhail:  I met Danielle at a New Jersey Authors Network talk, and she made me realize things about myself that I didn’t know were there… (whether she knew it or not)  Danielle speaks publicly to encourage other writers not to give up.  Her bright bubbly attitude is truly an inspiration.

Congratulations, and thank you for all you do to encourage others.

There is much content affiliated with The Hug Award, and while it is lengthy and seems a bit extensive to me, I do not want to maim or corrupt its potent message by leaving anything out.

Please do not change or use another image for the HUG Award Image©.  Please do not alter–by changing, shortening, or adding to–the text about the award and how to share it with others.  Either copy the entire article as it is on this page, or please include a link back to this article, when you post on your blog or share award with others.

I ask you to please honor this request and help me keep the integrity of the award as originally designed, so that future award recipients will know what an honor it is to receive this award.  Thank you, Connie Wayne

ELIGIBILITY GUIDELINES for HUG AWARD©

“Hope is an expectant desire; a confidence in a future event; a ground for trust and confidence; to think; to look forward to with trust and expectant desire.”

The HUG Award© was initiated by Connie Wayne at A Hope for Today athttp://ahopefortoday.com, which promotes hope, love, peace, equality, and unity for all people.

The HUG Award© is for people with an expectant desire for the world, for which they:  Hope for Love; Hope for Freedom; Hope for Peace; Hope for Equality; Hope for Unity; Hope for Joy and Happiness; Hope forCompassion and Mercy; Hope for Faith; Hope for Wholeness and Wellness; Hope for Prosperity; Hope for Ecological Preservation; Hope for Oneness

The HUG Award© recognizes and honors those who help keep hope alive in our current world, which is plagued by war, natural disasters, and economic recession.  They nurture hope, in any of the above areas (in italics),  by the work they do, or in their personal lives with things such as blogging, public speaking,charity work, etc.

The HUG Award© is for anyone, anywhere in the world, who meets theguidelines and wants to be nominated for the award. Please leave a comment on this page if you are interested in receiving this award, or if you would like to nominate someone else for the award.

The HUG Award© is for people who, without giving up or compromising their own religious, spiritual, or political beliefs, are able to nurture hope and respect the dignity of all people.

The HUG Award© is for those who, without bias or prejudice, use their resources and gifts to make the world a better place for everyone.

The HUG Award©is for people who have a hope or an expectant desire that the work or talents they use in things such as blogging, public speaking, charity work, etc., will make a positive impact on the world.

These people do not have to actively use the word “hope” in their work or creative talents.  They only need be conscious of their desire to make the world a better place for everyone.

These people use their available resources–a smile, a hug, a helping hand, a listening ear, a voice, time, money, possessions, education, personality, talent, websites and blogs—to make a positive impact on the world and make the world a better place to live.

The HUG Award© is not specifically a website or blog award.  It can be given to people in your community, at your employment, at your place of worship, etc.  Please make sure they have a copy of these Guidelines, and please don’t forget to submit their names back to this site.

HUG AWARD© IMAGE for RECIPIENTS of HUG AWARD

HUG Award© Image:   Those who receive the HUG Award© may paste a copy of the original HUG Award© image into an Image widget on their website or blog by simply copying and pasting the following image URL into an Image widget:   http://hopesfortoday.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/hug-award1.png.  As the link URL for the image, please inserthttp://ahopefortoday.com/2012/01/14/hope-unites-globally-hug-award-guidelines/.

GUIDELINES for NOMINATING OTHERS FOR THE HUG AWARD©

1.  If you receive a HUG Award©, you may nominate others who also meet the above guidelines for the award.  You may nominate as many people, websites, or blogs as you want to nominate to receive the award.  I do ask that, upon receipt of the award, you nominate at least one other person.  The award is also not time limited, so you can nominate new people or sites you encounter in the future.  Please try not to nominate those who have already received the award.

2.  YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTACTING YOUR NOMINEESand telling them you nominated them for the  HUG Award©.  AND when you contact them…

3.  Please link this page:  When you contact your nominees for the award, please include a link to this page,http://ahopefortoday.com/2012/01/14/hope-unites-globally-hug-award-guidelines/, so they will have the same information you received about the award.  Then, they also can perpetuate the award by nominating others.  AND…

4.  Please post a comment on this page athttp://ahopefortoday.com/2012/01/14/hope-unites-globally-hug-award-guidelines/ with the name and the complete website or blog address of the site(s) or person(s) you nominate.

5.  If you know, I would appreciate you informing me of the geographical location of your nominee(s) and /or their site(s).

6.  Social Media Sites: You may also copy and paste unchanged copies of the original HUG Award© and HUG Award© Guidelines’ wording to other social media sites such as Facebook and Linkedin.  You may also print original copies for your personal use for display, etc.

7.  You may print a copy of the HUG Award© Guidelines for people you nominate, who do not have a website, blog, or social media account to which they can paste award and Guidelines.  If they have email, you may email them a copy of the original HUG Award© and original Hug Award© Guidelines.

The people I have nominated for this award seek to do Good with their blogs by sharing inspiration, kindness, and courage. If you have already received this, please just accept that I appreciate you. Thank you.

 

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By request: Who’s verses Whose

Posted on April 14, 2012 | 11 comments

It never occurred to me to do an article on Who’s verses whose, because I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem with it.  I can see how this could be confusing, however.

I will try to make this as simple as possible.

“Who’s” is kind of like “it’s”.   It is a contraction of two words.

Who is going to the store?

Who’s going to the store?

Whose is the possessive form of “Who”.

Who does this book belong to?

Whose book is this?

I believe the problem that may cause confusion is that sneaky little apostrophe.  In most cases apostrophe with an “S” denotes a possessive.  That is not true for “who”, or for “it”.

It’s just another one of those wonderful little rules that make the English language so much fun!

Hope this helps!

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What Stupid writing thing did your beta reader come up with this week? “As” easy as it seems?

Posted on April 13, 2012 | 17 comments

Apparently, I like the word As.

It’s a little word.  So small, so subtle, BUT SO TROUBLESOME.

Yeah, I admit it, I’m an “as” junkie.  I love combining sentences.  I like the way “as” makes sentences flow together in such a beautiful flowery way.  But, unfortunately, too much of a good thing stands out.

The lovely Miss Ravena went through my manuscript and started highlighting my “as” addiction.  Oh, what a colorful page I received back!

Did I get rid of every one of them?  Of course not.  I just reworded sentences where they were not absolutely necessary.  I tried to make sure there wasn’t more than one “As” in a single paragraph.  In one instance there were three in a paragraph, but I could only drop to two.  Anything else and the pacing would have suffered (in my opinion).

So, yes, I still have the dreaded “as” used as a conjunction in my manuscript.  Tabu?  Maybe a little.  I’ll watch for it, but I’m sure I’ll do it again, and again.

It is, after all, an addiction.
You won’t catch me giving up chocolate too soon, either.

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Reining in the The Monomaniacal Middle Grade Reviewer – A Review of Fur Face by Jon Gibbs

Posted on April 12, 2012 | 2 comments

I found out why The Monomaniacal Middle Grade Reviewer stopped doing reviews.  He read “Fur Face” by Jon Gibbs, and really enjoyed it.  However, he knew I wanted him to review it, but he was embarrassed to do one because he met the author at a recent book signing.

“Well, did you like the story?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

I got the lip… If you’re a parent, you know what that means.

He was just self-conscious about it because he was afraid of what he would look like in front of an author that he feels like he knows, even though his review would be positive.

Note to self:  Introduce the MMGR to authors AFTER he has given the review.

Anyway… The MMGR’s review of Fur Face was:

(I’m paraphrasing from several conversations over the last several weeks)

It was really good.  It was about this cat that can talk, who has to find a kid that can understand him to help him do what he has to do.

(Trying not to drop a spoiler there)

He mentioned an intricate plot that would be hard to describe.  There was lots of funny stuff and action, and a big mystery about animals that had to be saved.  (Right up his alley)

I didn’t get a star rating on Fur Face, but book two is on his list of “I gotta have it” books.

Now that we’re over that hurdle… The Monomaniacal Middle Grade Reviewer should be returning to the blogosphere very shortly.  Yay!

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Writer’s Retreat. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Posted on April 11, 2012 | 21 comments

When I signed up for my writer’s retreat, I was looking forward to a weekend away from the chaos of my life.

I had a vision of a sleepy little cabin and absolute quiet, with 7 others as focused as I was.

Boy, was I in for a surprise.

My husband warned me, “There’s probably going to be alcohol.”

“No,” I said.  “These are grown women, not a bunch of kids.  We are all going there to write.”

He smiled and shook his head.  Geez, I hate it when he’s right.

When I got there, I went to the kitchen to put my stuff in the refrigerator, and found the table covered with enough liquor to fuel a small public bar.  Ummm… there are only eight of us, right?

There were a few other people there, and they were chatting.  That’s okay.  We were getting to know each other.  But of course, they would eventually stop to write, right?  Ugh.  No.

Eventually I left, and went to my room to try to write.  It was too uncomfortable, though.  So I went back to the kitchen and set up at the table, cranking my headphones to drown them out.

“It’s okay,”  I thought.  “Tomorrow, everyone will have this out of their system, and they will start writing.

Imagine my surprise when they started pouring alcohol into their orange juice at breakfast.

Thank goodness, someone thought up “quiet time.”  They set up an alarm clock and no one could talk for hour stints.  My problem is that I just get going by the time the hour is up.  If I had more silence, I would be flying.

In truth, I think only one other person there was as devoted to writing as I was.  Two were half-devoted.  Two more were kind-of interested in writing, and two people were only there to socialize and drink.  One of which I don’t even think turned on her computer.

Not quite the creative atmosphere my naïve little mind had hoped for.

The good thing was, I completed my first draft.  The bad thing was, I only completed my first draft.  I was hoping to get a few edits in as well.

I am looking at this as a learning experience.

#1 Ask questions first.  See what other’s hopes for the retreat are.  If everyone isn’t on the same page, you might not be happy with the results.

#2 Don’t go into an unknown situation with goals that you HAVE TO achieve.  The Unknowns will drag you down.

Now, honestly, this is completely my fault for not knowing
what I was getting into.  This retreat happens twice a year.  This is just what they do.  No harm, no foul.  It was just not what I expected.

Would I go again?  Yes, probably, but I wouldn’t want to work on something important that I was up against a deadline with, because there was not as much writing time as I’d hoped for.

I might also watch to see who else is going, depending on how much work I really wanted to get done.

I mean, I like these people.  They are nice, we had a good time.    The problem is that I was there to write… and some people were there for different reasons.

My mistake…

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