Monthly Archives: April 2012

Flash Fiction Friday – On Tuesday – The Pink Monkey

I’m a grown woman, a corporate executive—with a pink monkey in her office.  He hangs there from one arm, attached to my cubicle wall with a Velcro hand.  He stares at me with those goofy eyes.  He warms me inside.

Toys at work?  How unprofessional.

I smile.  It’s not just a toy.  It never really was a toy to me at all.  There is a heart embroidered on his belly, and he’s pink.  My favorite color.

My son won a prize at school.  “Pick anything you want.”

He saw that pink monkey, with a heart on its chest.
His mother’s favorite color.

He could have taken an airplane.  He could have taken a super ball.  But he picked up the pink monkey, and bought it home.

He gave it to me… for no reason.

“I love you Mommy.”

“I love you too, Baby.”

No, it’s not a toy.

The monkey stays.

ROW 80 Writing to a Deadline Part 7: “Writing from the Outline” #2 AKA: OMIGOSH I did it!

OMIGOSH I did it!

Okay, I was not a fan of the outline going into this, but now I totally am.  I finished the first draft this weekend, and despite the lack of explosions, I am quite tickled with it.

1.       Read the section of the outline for the scene I was about to write

2.       Check the allotted word count

3.       Write only what the outline told me to (kept me focused)

4.       Go back and make sure I covered everything required in the scene

5.       Check the word count after completing each section

I started to get scared because I was 150 words over in the first two scenes, which is a lot in a 10,000 word piece.  The good thing is, I over-allotted words for my turning point/revelation, and my climax.

In the end, I had 9,240 words.  Yay!  Words to spare.

Now, what is really awesome about this is since I stuck to my outline, I have no extraneous scenes to edit.  Every scene is important to draw the plotline forward.  There are no “Little Darling” scenes that I have to pull my hair out over cutting.  It’s a great place to be.

There are a few scenes that I need to go back and edit before beta-reading.  One I purposely wrote as “tell” because I wasn’t sure how to “show” her walking across a snow bank.  Overall, I am in great shape, and I am happy with the story.

And I cringe to say it— but I never would have finished it that quickly without the outline.

Now— to Edit, Beta Read, and Polish before the submission deadline.

The clock is ticking

And the winners are? – The Sunshine Awards Flash Fiction Contest – Read and pic your favorite

Wow, I really love these three entries.  These guys put a lot of thought into this.

I am so glad that I can give the award to all three of them, so here is your little flowers badge ladies!  Thanks for playing!

Just for fun, I am going to open this up for voting.  It doesn’t matter who wins, but which one do you guys think is the best?  Give your favorite a click!

Entry from the Lovely Ms Erin

The late August sunshine filtered through the leaves, playing patterns over her face. Sweat glistened on her forehead and pasted the grey tank-top to her back. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she peered into the viewfinder of her Nikon. It was worth it to brave the southern summer heat for this. She adjusted the focus on the zoom lens until the object of her attention came into sharp focus. She smiled.

Note from me:  Wow, what a visual.  I totally see this!

The entry from the Lovely Ms Beth

He’d been following her since daybreak.   It was not for a full mile past the ribbon stall that she laughed aloud, tickled as a little boy chased his sister with a bug-eyed fish.

He hastened to snatch the vial from his threadbare cloak and collect the threads of shimmering yellow that danced before his eyes, invisible to all but him.   Once it was a third full he stopped it up with the cork and stored it in his pouch.

The Master would be pleased. At long last, he had succeeded in his final test.  He had bottled sunshine.

Note from  me:  Fantastic concept

Add the entry from the talented and gutsy Wendy Reid

Huddled behind a jetting outcrop, she pressed her knees to her chest so hard that her muscles ached. Shoulders hunched against the frigid cold of the moonlit desert, she put her hands up to her ears in the hopes to stop the cold wind from entering her head. The sand under her bottom was bitter cold and hard as ice, a far cry from it’s daylight properties.

Facing Eastward, she watched as the orange ball slowly appeared over the horizon. Nikki had never been happier to see the sun shine and feel the heat of its rays.

Note from me:  Oh, this sounds so much like the start or middle of something good.  This one had me wanting more.  I mean really wanting more.  Nicely done, Wendy.

If you like spicy adult recreational reading material, check out Wendy’s collection of short shorts called BEDTIME STORIES on Amazon.

For an intense read, for the not-so faint at heart, check out Wendy’s suspense novel:  A MOTHER’S LOVE on Amazon.

Okay, so here we go.  Which entry was your favorite?

By Request: Who verses Whom

Before I get on to this, I have an overall opinion (I know, shocking)

The English language is evolving rapidly.  Whom is one of those words that is unfortunately falling into the realm of obsolescence.  Mainly, this is from lack of use due to people not understanding how to use it.

Also, when you do use it, whether or not you use it correctly, you end up sounding “hoity-toity” because it is one of those words that has become synonymous with “upper class” for some reason.

So, if you don’t mind sounding hoity toity, and you can stop in the middle of a sentence to figure it out… this is what you need to do:

Decide if the “who or whom” is replacing the word “he/she or him/her”

He/she=who

Him/her=whom.

***Let’s explore this, shall we?***

Who/whom fed the dog?

Eric (he) fed the dog. (Chloe is a happy puppy)

He=who

Therefore, Who is correct.  “Who fed the dog?”

Who/whom should I ask?

Should I ask for he? (NO) Should I ask for him? (YES)

Him=whom

So, Whom is correct.  “Whom should I ask?”

(yeah, like anyone is actually going to say that, right?  Do you hear the hoity-toityness?

Here is an example from Grammar Girl:

We all know who pulled that prank.

But

We want to know on whom the prank was pulled.

Now, let’s be serious.  Does anyone see what I’m seeing?  If you tried to use the second “whom” example in your novel, unless you are writing Historical Romance, people would laugh at you.  Who in their right mind is going to say “We want to know on whom the prank was pulled.”?

You guessed it:  no one.

My suggestion?  Use who, even if it is not correct… especially if it is in speech.  Unless you have a character that is a grammarian, I see no reason to use the word “whom” in realistic speech anymore.

Sad, but true.  Goodbye, whom.  We will miss you.  Please say hello to “whilst” for me.

What stupid Writing Error did your Beta Reader come across this week? – Verb Confusion.

I just love verb confusion.  It’s a riot.

Unless someone points it out to me in my own work.

Okay, well it’s funny for me too, as long as I catch it in time.

The lovely Miss Dawn just pointed out to me that I have to be especially careful with my verb confusion, because in a fantasy world, it is entirely possible that furniture might come to life.

This is what I wrote:

Nurses tended to beds holding the badly infected.  Some held the patients withered hands.  Many smiled.  How could they provide comfort?  Weren’t they afraid?

I read this at least ten times on my own.  I knew what I thought I wrote… a beautiful scene of nurses tending to their patients.  But when Dawn read it, she saw nurses tending to the beds, not the people.  She saw beds holding the badly infected people.  (Like the beds were alive)  She also saw smiling beds.

When I read it back, I realized (after I stopped laughing) that she was completely right!

Thank goodness this is a very simple fix.

Nurses tended the badly infected.  Some held their patients withered hands.  Many smiled.  How could they provide comfort?  Weren’t they afraid?

The funny thing is, Dawn is a new reader for me.  She is not a fantasy writer, and she picked this up.  Three other people completely missed this.  That is why you send your manuscript out to multiple people…. To save you the embarrassment later.

Thanks, Dawn!

The Monomaniacal Middle Grade Reviewer Won’t take time to Review!

I have a problem.  It’s a good problem.  My kid won’t stop reading.

“Sweetie, would you like to do another book review for me?”

“After I finish reading this book, Mom.”

“Ummm, okay, but you said that after you finished the last two.”

“But this is just sooo good!”

Ugh.  Now, here is my problem.  I cannot afford to feed this kid’s reading habit!  I filled his kindle with Literature.  Tarzan, Huck Fin, etc.  It’s all stuff my husband SWORE he would like.  But no dice.  He starts ‘em, but he doesn’t finish them.  He is just not interested in the classics.

He is extremely particular.  He needs high action, suspense, and comedy all wrapped up in a neat little package.

He’s interested in big block-buster novels, which shouldn’t be a problem, but he wants them when they just hit the bookstores, and some of them are $24.  Okay, so, yes, I have paid that much for a book for myself, but it takes me usually a month to read it.  This kid will plow through a 300 page novel in two days!

Maybe someday I will just yank a book out of his hands and say “You can have another after you tell everyone why the heck you liked the last ten so much!”

Hey… he may as well earn those books rather than me just handing them over, right?

Now if I could just get his brother to pick up something OTHER than Calvin and Hobbs, maybe I could at least get a second read out of these novels.

Maybe someday.  ***sigh***

Where the Heck is Everybody? Oh! There you are. This is So Cool!

One of my favorite little tools in WordPress is the Map feature.

It tells you where your traffic is coming from.  I expected hits in the USA and Canada, but beyond that was a little bit of a surprise.  There are a few of you out there that I “talk” to all the time, and I never thought about asking where you are.

Here is my hit map for a random day.  Pretty neat, huh?  Not world-wide dominance by far, but really interesting.  I mean, Saudi Arabia?  What’s that all about?

Actually, hoping around blogs I did start chatting with someone in Saudi Arabia, so I at least know where some of those hits are coming from.  Everyone give Anastasia a big hug.  She’s over there in Saudi and misses the simple comforts of home… like basic things we take for granted every day. (Like driving, or riding a bike)

If you want even more detailed standings, and you have a self-posted web-site, you can use tools like ClusterMaps for an even more detailed map.  (This will not work on WordPress)

So, what about all those other countries?  I know you follow, because the hits in places Like Saudi-Arabia, Pakistan, Australia, and New Zealand come up every day.

Who are you?  Where are you?  I’d love to meet you!

Flash Fiction Tuesday – I have to wonder sometimes

I figured I’d try something different.

I’ve never done flash fiction.  I thought I’d give it a try… at least as a distraction from my current WIP.

Now, I know that there really isn’t a market for Flash, so I figured I’d post it here.  If you’re not into it, don’t worry, it will only be once a week until I get bored with it.

I was going to do Flash Fiction Friday, but I already have a Friday slot, and I don’t want to freak out the Friday people, and Tuesday is feeling so neglected.  I don’t normally post on Tuesdays, so this is my way of giving Tuesday a little love.

I’m not sure where I will go with this… if I will actually create little stories, or just scenes, or simply stream of consciousness.

I am going to start with a random sentence, and see where it takes me in five minutes.  Today, I will start with “I have to wonder sometimes”.

Okay… here we go.

I have to wonder sometimes, what true happiness is.  Why do some people lead gold-plated lives, and others continually suffer?  But are those gold-plated lives really as great as they seem?  Are those people really happy? 

I watch the rich man walking out of a department store, overflowing bags in his hands.  He fumbles with the keys of his Mercedes, while fighting with his wife.  They walk right by the homeless man, leaning against the building, resting his head on his knees.  The wife, eyes glaring, pushes past her husband and gets into their car. 

The homeless man lifts his head, and smiles as a young child runs into his arms.

“Hey Buddy.  How was school,” the man asks.

“Great!  I got an A on my math quiz.”

“That’s fantastic.”

The boy fumbles with his bag, and pulls out a loosely wrapped napkin.  “Here, Dad.  I bought you half my lunch.”

The man opens what looks like half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and splits it in two.  “Tell you what.  Let’s share this for dinner.”

They sit together, leaning against the building, giggling as they begin the child’s homework.

I wonder sometimes, what true happiness is.

Row 80 4/2 Writing to a Deadline Part 6: “Writing from the Outline”

My goal is to get published.  At the moment, I am working on a novella for an Anthology.  This is where I am:

If you’re just hopping into the insanity that is my writing life, check out my previous “Writing to a Deadline” posts or this won’t make sense.

I’d love to tell you that this outline is absolutely useless, but I’d be lying.  I think it is actually helping me.

I keep referring back to it, which is good, because it is keeping me on track.

Since I have my story clearly outlined, I know all of the “little carrots” that need to be dropped early in the story so they are not “big surprise veggie bombs” later.  I even caught myself forgetting one, and I had the chance to re-write a conversation that included that little snippet before it was too late.

In the first three scenes, I set up my world (and clearly defined it since it is a Futuristic Dystopian).  Introduced all the characters.  Gave the conflict of the main character and all subordinate characters.

I looked at my word count— 2,685.

Hmmmm.  The submission guidelines say the story needs to be between 5,000 and 10,000 words.  Can I finish it in that parameter?

My outline has 26 items/scenes/”things that need to happen”.  Some are more in depth than others.  I very carefully looked over the list, and placed a word count next to each number.  This is how many words I think I will need to get each idea down.

300 here, 500 there, 1000 there, 2000  for the climax.  You get the idea.

When I totaled it all up it came to 9,685.  That was a bit of a surprise.  I thought it would be higher.  However, I am also brutally aware that I only have 315 words to spare.

Now, my challenge is to hold to those numbers.  If I can’t finish each item it the allotted word count, I need to subtract words from somewhere else.

The writer’s retreat is here.

Two full days of writing with a goal to finish.

Too lofty a goal?  We’ll see.

Sunshine Award – Can you be sunny? Enter to win!

A big thank you to Dana at MomsLifePonderings for nominating me for the Sunshine award!

Hop on over to Dana’s site.  It’s a nice read that I can totally relate to as a mom.

Well, here are the rules for this award.  Pretty standard.  (Actually a few of these I could photocopy and just change the names of the awards, but that’s okay.)

1) Thank the person who gave you this award and link back to them in your post. CHECK

2) Tell us some things about yourself.   SEE BELOW

3) Nominate 10 bloggers.   I’ll Get to that

4) Contact these bloggers and let them know they have received this award.  Ummm… They usually find out before I get to that.

A few things about myself that I haven’t told you already:

1) My oldest fish just died.  Three pounds of black and white spotted butterfly koi wonder.  RIP Oreo.

2) I have to shave my dog.  I can’t get the matts out of her hair.  (Sorry Chloe)

3) My husband just dyed his hair blonde.  Yeah, I don’t get it either.

4) I need to lose ten pounds.  All in my thighs (the writer’s curse)

5) No matter how much I try, I just cannot use Brought or Bought correctly.

So, I guess I have to find some Bloggers that bring some sunshine into my life.  So, Who’s sunny?  What does it actually mean to be sunny anyway?

Let’s try something new.  Anyone want a blog award?

Post 100 words or less (Flash Fiction) in the comments below.  The only rule is you have to use the word Sunshine.  If you just want to describe sunshine in a really beautiful way, that’s fine, too.   The ten best win.

Oh!  This sounds like fun!

I’ll announce the winners next week, but if less than ten people respond, everyone wins.  Yay!  Have fun!