Continued from Monday …
Dang guys, once again I am overwhelmed by the support, and all the personal emails–many of which made me cry. Part of writing these posts is self-motivation to FORCE me to keep going, because I have committed myself. I really appreciate all the good wishes.
This is what I have learned thus far from disk #1. My son doesn’t think the way normal people do. I can’t expect him to be logical. I can’t expect him to react rationally. I cannot expect him to act “normal” when he is upset. He does not have the ability. In other words… I CANNOT PARENT HIM THE WAY I PARENTED HIS OLDER SIBLINGS.
Is there something wrong with him? Well, only in that he doesn’t THINK the way most people do.
*** He doesn’t think the way most people do ***
Sounds scary, doesn’t it? My job is to help him work around this. I can teach him to be a normal, thinking adult, but if I don’t act now, the chances of it becoming worse are far too high.
Now, I don’t know how to do this yet. Herein lies our frustration. Following the course by the letter, we need to do our workbook and let this all sink in before going to lesson two. BUT WE WANT HELP NOW.
I’m turning again to the CD of “10 things to help you right now” and I am listening to it again.
***Putting the Plan into action***
Last night, my 6 year old punched my 9 year old in the face because it was bedtime. I called the “help line” and they walked me through what to do. What I needed to do sounded incredibly stupid. What I wanted to do was what my parents did – beat me senseless—but I have to realize that my 6 year old is not me. Returning the anger and spanking will not work with this child. So I sat down and told him everything they said… and he went to bed.
***Problems with the older kids***
Now here is a new problem. “Mom, you’re just letting him get away with that?”
The older kids felt like I’d done nothing. I called them aside, and explained “The Total Transformation” to them. They complained that this isn’t going to be fair to them… that they would be punished for things and their lives would have to change because of the youngest.
I said, “Yes, things will change, but this is what we need to do to get our lives back.”
They were not happy. They groan when they start acting up and I hit them with one of the “ten things to help you right now” tips… of course, they then immediately cave and do what I want. Crap – if anything I have to say this stuff works with the older kids without a hitch. The youngest? He can still tirade through it.
But it’s a new day in the Eaton household. I’m not really sure what that means. But I’m convicted to making that true. Now that I am a little more “educated” and understand more about my son’s challenges, and our challenges as parents to a behaviorally challenged child, at least I am ready to move forward.
At the moment, though… after week one… chaos still ensues. And something upstairs just broke… and yep, there’s the screaming. Bedtime is always such a joy… until next time!
- Dealing with a child with behavioral issues: Our family’s journey with The Total Transformation program (paulaacton.com)
- Improve Kids’ Behavior: Catch Them Being Good (psychcentral.com)
- Make Bedtime Fun For Your Young Children. (mommiespointofview.blogspot.com)
- Birthdays Mean A Child Gets Older (dadblunders.com)
- What is your child really saying when he says he can’t? (lmatlow.blogspot.com)