Closing Notes and Final Comments – Dealing with a child with behavioral issues: Total Transformation #17

I don’t want to go on forever about my kid, so I’m going to close this thread after this post.  So, why did I do this?  Why did I open up my private struggles for all the world to cringe over?

The truth is when some family members started avoiding us, and friends said “don’t come back.”  I started to feel very alone. (Thanks to everyone who DID stand beside us through all of this)

But I knew that I WASN’T alone.  I knew there had to be others out there struggling and having no idea where to turn.

I’m here telling you that you CAN take your life back.  You just need to take that first step, and then dedicate yourself to it.  Yes, I used one particular program.  I’m not telling anyone to go out and buy the Total Transformation.  There are other products out there.  Do your research.  Pick the one that’s right for you.

The big thing is DO SOMETHING NOW.

I can’t believe how quickly things changed.  It was only a few months ago that I was collapsed of the living room carpet sobbing. It seems like a bad dream now.

I’d like to share a picture with you.  This was taken when Littlest Dude was 3.  He doesn’t even look like this anymore.  It’s precious, isn’t it?

Disney Image058

This picture always made my cry, because I remember this day.  I had taken him so my husband and Dude #1 and Dude #2 could enjoy themselves at Disney World.  I sacrificed myself, and I was miserable.

I bribed him to stop and take this picture with me, hoping it would be a wonderful memory.  Instead when I looked at it on my wall, I knew it was a lie.

I don’t look at it as a lie anymore.  I look at this picture with a gleam of hope in my heart.  I actually have REAL moments like this with my child now.  I feel love from him, and that love is returned.

I know we will have ups and downs, but doesn’t every family?

Normal, for the first time is six years, is in reach.

If you have a child with behavioral problems, get help.  It will be the greatest gift you’ll ever give your family.


35 responses to “Closing Notes and Final Comments – Dealing with a child with behavioral issues: Total Transformation #17

  1. Bravo on your successful journey. And so wonder for your son. 🙂

  2. Oh, I got tears reading your post! So proud of you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! Too many people are running around in circles with no hope things will ever change, and I’m positive you helped to give some people hope through your posts. I’m so glad you found some balance, where just enough change was more than sufficient. When we put family first, the next step along our life path to happiness becomes clearer 🙂 HUGS!

  3. You should almost put that last sentence all in capital letters. I don’t know how many people bump along, hoping for the best. I love how you started soon, are honest with yourself (and with all of us), and are pounding it out, one day by one day. Congratulations, and thank you.

  4. You did a very brave and wonderful thing sharing this part of your life on here having a child that is ‘different’ is isolating even from those nearest and dearest, there are time you resent the working parent for the time they get away from the home, resent the family members for whom they seem to behave while knowing that the truth is that it is only the brief time they spend together that make it true. By speaking out you have helped other realise they are not alone and that very few have things perfect however it may appear to the outside world

    • I think it’s true for many relationships, don’t you think? You never know what is really going on… And when you see a parent “snap” you don’t really know what brought them to that point

  5. Bittersweet. You and family have come to a good place with the little ones. I nod my head, silently acknowledging “This is good. This is very good.” I discovered your blog late, and so I haven’t tracked with you and your journey that long. It has been good. My 16 year-old Aspergers guy, who is manic most of the time, has the emotional age of 5. Cognitively, he is somewhere between 10 & 12, fortunately. Our story is not very similar to your story, but it has been encouraging and helpful to read about success that other parents are experiencing. We are at a fork in the road, our family. Something has to change. I think God’s sense of humor is at play, here: I have been a psychotherapist for 15-plus years, and a chunk of that time was with high-risk youth. I can work with other kids. But when it’s my son? Different story. Signing off, now; please accept my apology for a long reply and some pathetic melancholy. Our boy is a good boy. I’m just empty, for now. Keep writing.

    • I understand feeling empty. You have so much love and so much frustration at the same time. Good vibes are coming at you from cyberspace. I hope you can key in on the good times. Best if luck to you!

  6. I think sharing this was great and took a lot. I have a VERY active toddler who I pray will learn to listen and settle down as she grows, but for now I have to deal with rude people in stores telling me I am a bad parent. I am glad there are those that stuck with you and you made it! I am also glad there are programs that worked for you.

  7. What a sweet post. Just be sure to keep all your materials close at hand, because adolescence can turn everything upside down. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that your little dude comes shining through.

  8. Jennifer, this post made me cry. Partly because of the struggles you’ve had to endure but mostly because you are now living the life with your family that you deserve. I am deliriously happy for you sweetheart. xo

  9. Best of wishes that the future holds wonderful experiences for everyone in your family and as a family!

  10. I don’t think anyone here cringed. I think our hearts opened and we sent lots’a interwebz lovin’ your way. Thanks for inviting us in.
    … oh my! Those fishies look a little peaked, dont’cha think? I’ll … erm … be right back.

  11. And the title on the picture is now appropriate. Dreams came true 🙂

  12. Julie Catherine

    It’s so wonderful to read this, Jennifer – huge kudos to you and your whole family for taking the steps to learn how to cope and create a better, more positive future for all your family! All the best! Love and hugs xoxox

  13. I got a little choked up reading this, which is not a small thing for me. I’m so impressed you stuck with the program, and I’m happy to learn more about another option for parents who struggle with behavior-strong children.

  14. I’m so glad that you’ve had such success with this, and I think it’s great that you shared it on your blog, congrats and best wishes to you all! 🙂

  15. It’s heartwarming to hear you are all on your way to a better life and understanding. Your little guy will grow up great. You’ll see.

  16. This was such a beautiful and heartfelt thread. I, like my pal, Jilanne, am delighted to hear that you and yours have turned a corner.

  17. We all appreciate your sharing this difficult part of your life. I’ve shared some of your successes with friends who have children like Littlest Dude in the hope that they will have the courage, like you, to act now to help their child and the whole family before it gets too out-of-hand. I applaud you for taking the steps necessary to bring your family back together and wish you every success possible in the future. 🙂

  18. I totally sympathise with you. My son had behavioural problems pretty much from day 1, went from cranky tired baby to demanding toddler to tantrum throwing teenager to..well, odd adult, I guess, but he’s turned out mostly lovely with spots of totally weird. Some nights I just used to cry. I’m so glad you managed to turn things around.

  19. Congratulations! I love stories with happy endings. :o) Especially when they’re true. It must feel so awesome to have that image match reality now. Awesome and a huge relief.