Rule #7 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #7

7: If you find you’ve said the same thing more than once, choose the best and cut the rest. Frequently, I see the same idea presented several ways. It’s as if the writer is saying, “The first couple of images might not work, but the third one should do it. If not, maybe all three together will swing it.” The writer is repeating himself. Like this. This is a subtle form of pleonasm.

While I don’t do this often, I do catch myself doing it once in a while.  This comes back around to dialog that moves the plot forward.

It’s tricky when you’re in a place where your main character knows something, and he/she has to relay the information to someone else to move the plot forward.  If your character just rattles off everything the reader already knows, it is redundant, and boring, right?  This is a tricky problem to try to wiggle around.

You need to find a creative way to make the scene flow naturally, without repeating yourself. Maybe someone else relays the information, and the person then “walks into the scene” with the main character so they can discuss.  Or, maybe allude to your main character relaying the information (creatively of course) and then continuing with the dialog.

Whichever way you choose, the most important thing is to not repeat yourself.  You need to keep the plot moving forward… not shifting backwards.

What creative ways have you come up with the wiggle around this problem?

JenniFer_Eaton Sparkle__F

Write a Story with Me # 48 with Sharon Manship

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

48 – Sharon Manship

Yoran’s expression faltered.  He wondered if this was another hoax devised to elicit the information that he was not at liberty nor the inclination to share.  But what if it wasn’t?  The newborn certainly bore the Sumner family resemblance with his mop of dark hair and the same rosebud mouth as his sisters.  As he looked at the baby’s perfect features the irony of such a symbol of innocence in this awful place was not lost on Yoran, and his heart couldn’t help but swell with love and protection of this little bundle.

Yoran was torn, and this was quite plain for all those in the room to see.  Morath allowed a swift flash of triumph to cross her usually beatific features.  Surely Yoran would have to speak now.  He would choose his own blood over the Establishment.  She stole a glance at the three girls sitting on the private bench.  Marci and Bethany were distraught.  Sian’s eyes were now flicking from her father’s face to the baby and back again, her earlier steely resolve seemingly wavering now.

Suddenly everyone’s attention was distracted by a commotion coming into the room from the direction in which the Officer had just appeared with the baby.

Guards were trying to hold someone back, but she somehow managed to wrangle through them and burst forward.  On seeing the boy she let out an anguished animal-like cry and lunged forward towards the Officer.

“Give him to me!”

Yoran and Morath’s faces bore the same aghast and disbelieving expressions, and for the first time ever their thoughts were the same…what on earth was going on and just how had Natalia got here?

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Part Forty-Two – Susan Rocan

Part Forty-Three – Kate Johnson

Part Forty-Four – An Elephant Can’t

Part Forty-Five - Julie Catherine Vigna

Part Forty-Six – Kai Damian

Part Forty-Seven – Richard Leonard

Part Forty-Eight – Sharon Manship

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Danielle Ackley McPhail — TAG!  You are “It”

Learning to draw Manga #3 Front View Boy

This week my son and I tackled the front view boy.  I figured I’d show you the step by step process to show you how easy it is.

First, start with a circle. Cut it into four equal parts and then cut the lower half into four equally spaced sections.  I go freehand.  Dude likes to use a ruler.

P1030642a

Next, add a frame for the chin.  Manga likes a pointy chin.  I’ll probably start putting my own spin on this soon.

P1030643b

Next, add the eyes in the third lower section.  Eyebrows on the line above, each slightly towards the outer circle.  The nose line just to the left of the center line, right on the outer circle mark, and do your best on the ears.  Dude and I agree ears are EVIL.

P1030644

Next, the dreaded Manga Hair.  I drew this directly from the diagram.  I don’t get the flow of the hair yet.  Dude does better than me on this aspect.

P1030645 Next, darken and add a little clothing if desired.  I decided to round the chin at this point as well.  Also add a shade under the chin. Once your lines are nice and dark, erase the light lines of the ”cheat” circle originally drawn.

P1030647 That’s it.  Break it down a step at a time, and it’s really not that hard.

Yes, Dude is still growling at me, but I’m glad I’m doing this with him.  It’s giving him the competitive charge to try to get better than me.  Nope, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. (He writes, too.)  :-)

JenniFer_EatonF

Free Fridays! The Little Blue Lady from Mars considers “Rise of the Magi”

Free_Fridays!

Jennifer13You really need to be on your best behavior today.

Promise me!

.

Alien Huh Close

I’m always on my best behavior.

.

Jennifer13Well, what I mean is be nice, and no blowing anything up. 

We want to make her feel at home.

Alien Huh CloseWhy?

What’s so special about this chic?

Jennifer13You don’t understand!  This is Jocelyn Adams.  She’s the author of “The Glass Man”. 

It was one of my favorite books last year.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Wonderful.  First I have to worry about headless men.  Now I have to worry about men made of glass?

This is a very odd planet you have here.

Jennifer13Then why don’t you go home and find someone else’s blog to haunt?

.

Alien Huh CloseWhy would I do that?

I have too much fun here blowing stuff up with you.

Jennifer13Wonderful. 

I’m, Umm, honored.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well, let’s let this hoity toity wonderful author-like person in.

I’ll see if she’s worth all the hub bub.

Jennifer13Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

[opens door]

Hi Jocelyn

Hi.

Hey! Look at that.

She really is blue.

Awesome.

Jennifer13Come on in and have a seat.

Make yourself comfortable.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387So, Miss Jocelyn  Adams.

Jennifer M. Eaton seems to think you are “all that”, but I’ve never heard of you.

No? I’m an author who often has one foot through the crazy door, who can’t seem to shut out all of the voices in my head.  Shut up!  I’m talking to the Blue Lady here! 

Alien Huh CloseUmm, okaaaayyy… [turns to Jennifer]

This one’s two rockets short of a launch sequence.

Jennifer13I know!  Isn’t she cool? 

Ask her a question.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Okay, Miss voices in her head.

What exactly do you want, here?

.

What I want is a giant slice of peach pie with ice cream and a whole stack of people to read and love my book. 

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Huh.  Unless you’re gonna bake it, there’s no pie here.

Is there anything else you want?

Maybe a major book deal,

but I’m more likely to get the pie, so I’ll start with that.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Humph.  Well, if what Jennifer M. Eaton says is true, you are quite the pen wielder.

Why would she like you book more than anyone else’s?

Because I carved out a piece of my soul and slapped it down on the paper.

.

Alien SmileOh!

That sounds wonderfully ghastly!

Tell me more.

Okay, so I didn’t really do that since it would have hurt like hell, but I still laid myself bare to get this one written.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Grrr…. And here I thought we’d bonded.

So tell me.

Why would I want to read this new novel of yours?

Hmm, sexy, mischievous fae men and a glimpse into the mysterious workings of my original villain, Parthalan, might be carrot enough, no?

Jennifer13Oh!  Love Love Loooooove Parthalan.

AKA “The Glass Man”  Best. Villain. Ever.  Nuff Said.

Thanks!

He was great fun to write.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well, I need more than a hunky man.  Fae or not.

Tell me Miss Hears Voices and Carves Out Her Heart…Does anything explode?

Yes, actually, something does explode. 

Or someone. 

Alien SmileOh!  That is exciting. Who do you blow up?

Is it the good guy?

There’s not enough blowing up of the good guy on this planet.

I can’t tell you what or who without spoiling the story, so you’ll have to read it yourself for the big kaboom.

Alien SmileOkay, I’m actually excited about this.

Tell me more.

Pleeeeese?

Rise of the Magi is the third and last leg of Lila Gray’s journey.  She grew up thinking she was human even though she’s a fae designed by the hard knocks of her life to become the weapon that will keep mankind from receiving their pink slips.  In this last book, Lila has grown into her leadership role and is faced with relationship, baby, and cannibalistic tree issues, along with discovering her place in an ancient prophecy.  And the villain in this book is a nasty piece of work, too.  I’m quite proud of that.

Alien SmileExplosions ANNNNDDD Cannibalistic Trees?  Oh! What fun!

You sound like my kind of gal.

Have you ever exploded anything, just for fun?

My brother and I used to blow up crickets with firecrackers when I was little because they’re bloody annoying, does that count?

Alien SmileOh!  Those little chirping things?  Hmmm.  Never thought of exploding something smaller than me, but they ARE annoying.

I like to take over worlds on my spare time.  Would you like to join me?

Well, I don’t know.  I tried to snatch the moon once, but my cardboard box shuttle had a malfunction and dumped me on my arse.  I’ve settled for conquering my hammock in the back yard instead.

Alien SmileOkay, fun but not smart.

You need to coat the cardboard with space polymers to get out of the atmosphere, silly.

Ohhhhhh.  SO that’s what I did wrong.

I love your hair by the way.

.

Alien SmileYou do?

Thanks.

I’ve never had blue hair, but lots of other colors.  I have painted my husband’s hair blue, once.  A blue Mohawk to be exact.

Alien SmileOh!  He must have looked absolutely Martianly!

I bet he looked hawt!

.

It was definitely different.

.

Alien SmileYou know what?

Why don’t you hang out and stay a while.

Would you like some dessert?

Sure.

.

Jennifer13Umm, Little Blue Lady, all I have is Strawberry Cheese Cake. 

You’re allergic to red stuff, remember?

Alien SmileShoot.  Bummer.

Hey, Jocelyn Adams.

How about you tell me what it tastes like.

Jennifer13Oh Oh. [Snickers]

Show don’t tell, Jocelyn.

[Clears her throat and takes a bite] 

I slide my spoon into white, creamy goodness, making sure to nick a little of the fresh strawberry sauce and whipped cream, and bring it to my mouth.  The richness of the cream cheese and sweetness of the berries slide across my tongue, and I moan as I lick the spoon clean of every last speck before diving in again. 

Alien SmileWow!  Scrape those strawberries off, because I want a bite.

Thumbs up for Jocelyn Adams!

Yes!

Does that mean I can give away a copy of my book?

Alien SmileNot only that.

How about one copy of Rise of the Magi, and all commenters get a chance to win ALL THREE BOOKS?

.

That’s a great idea.  How about I make the three books paperback, and I’ll sign them?

Alien SmileOh!  You are just delectable!

Now, let’s go coat that cardboard box over there with space polymers and I’ll show you how to properly get to the moon.

Jennifer13There you have it! One e-book copy of Rise of the Magi for a lucky commenter, and a chance to win the entire Lila Gray trilogy paperbacks signed by Jocelyn Adams.  Let’s get commenting!

And if you’d like to find out more about Joceyln Adams, check out her website at: www.joceadams.com or www.joceadams.wordpress.com
Purchase: Rise of the Magi (A Lila Gray Novel) (Volume 3)

Alien Zig ZagAlien Zig Zag*The Little Blue Lady from Mars © Jennifer M. Eaton

Rule #6 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #6

6: Keep speeches short. Any speech of more than three sentences should be broken up. Force your character to do something. Make him take note of his surroundings. Ground the reader. Create a sense of place.

Ha! This made me think of the Total Transformation program.  I like the “no speeches at all” rule better, but there are times when one of our characters tends to get chatty, right?

Always always always break up a long amount of dialog with action, setting, or emotion.  Think of it.  If you are listening to someone for a long time, you shift your weight, right?  The speaker paces the floor, uses hand gestures.  The curtains blow around a window. Tons of things are happening all around your speaker.

Don’t count on your reader to make these things up themselves.  Show them. It will make your scene more real, and you won’t lose your reader and have them miss something important.

Oh, and while you’re at it… try to curb that speech down a little.  Less is more, I always say!

Try it!  Can you feel how much cleaner your speech reads just by adding a little action?

JenniFer_EatonF

Write a Story With me # 47 with Richard Leonard

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

Part 47 – Richard Leonard

The Officer strode from the room to collect the mysterious child Queen Morath spoke of. The murmurs continued. Child? What child is this? Yoran could think of no child. It must be a special child of the Fae.

“Order!”, called Queen Morath, and the murmurs ceased immediately. “’Protector’ Yoran Sumner. You are charged with direct and indirect crimes against the Fae far too numerous to list. Generally speaking they include, but are not limited to, unlawful imprisonment, deprivation of liberties, forced exile, trespass, murder, unlawful occupation of lands and territories, and last but certainly not least, the assassination of their leader, the Queen of Queens of the Fae. May we hear your defence?”

Yoran didn’t have to see the shocked faces of his younger girls to reply. “This is outrageous! I am guilty of nothing! I do not have to defend my self. Where is your proof? Your being alive is proof enough of your lies!”

“I can prove that I was killed, Mister Sumner. So technically the assassination was successful. Need I remind you of your likely punishment?”

At that moment the Officer returned, walking gingerly with a small bundle that could only be a newborn baby sleeping in his arms. He turned slowly so everyone in the courtroom had clear view of the little boy, to ensure there was no uncertainty.

Yoran gazed around and saw expressions of confusion, some of horror, others of despair. What shocked him were the majority were of joy and anticipation. Then suddenly the truth hit him. Marci wailed. Sian’s expression remained fixed.

Queen Morath spoke. “Yes, Yoran. This is your newborn son. Again, may we hear your defence of the charges brought to you?”

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Part Forty-Two – Susan Rocan

Part Forty-Three – Kate Johnson

Part Forty-Four – An Elephant Can’t

Part Forty-Five - Julie Catherine Vigna

Part Forty-Six – Kai Damian

Part Forty-Seven - Richard Leonard

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Sharon Manship — TAG!  You are “It”

There is a book out there that’s better than yours

I’ve been told time and again that there are thousands of books out there looking for representation that are as good as or better than yours. It’s just one of those “slap in the face” things that you are told when you start out in writing to make sure you understand that there is fierce (but friendly) competition in the query-market.

Up until today, I had read quite a few beta novels that were as good as my work, or would soon be just as good.  I throw out my pom poms and wish them all the best as they begin to submit.  I do.  Really, I do.  I am THRILLED when I hear that someone lands an agent or gets something published.  I think it’s awesome!

Today, I finished a beta that shattered me utterly and completely.  I just read a novel that will be querying the same time as mine.  It will be in the New Adult category, where mine will be in the Young Adult category, but that is still TOO CLOSE for my comfort.

Is the story like mine?  No.  Not at all, but it is Speculative Fiction.  So, what scares me?

Scare is not really the right word.  I have the sinking feeling that I have just read the next Hunger Games, or the New Adult equivalent to Harry Potter. I have never been so on the edge of my seat.  I have never been so absorbed thinking about a novel and dying to get back to it. I have never been so invested in characters that were not my own.

Swirls of emotion go thorough you when you are touched by something so deeply.  You begin to question yourself. Is your novel anywhere near this good?

You push aside all the accolades you’ve received.  You forget that people have told you how much they like your book.  All you can do is envision THAT OTHER BOOK sitting on an agent’s desk, right beside your own.

It’s humbling.  Very Very Humbling.

I contacted the author to let them know how I felt about their story, and to make sure they shoot for the stars, because this is where that book belongs.

I could feel the gushing coming through on her response.  And she should gush… all the way to a six figure advance.

How am I? Well, after downing a vat of Chocolate Almond Fudge ice cream, I slapped myself upside the head.

Her novel is NOTHING like mine.  There is even a possibility that someone might pass hers over and reach for mine because they have not seen a good high-paced alien explosion novel lately.

The publishing industry is so odd and unpredictable that you can’t know what will happen.

If she emails me in a month and tells me she landed an agent and a big six contract all in the space of a week, I will not be angry.  I won’t be surprised either.  I will do a happy dance of joy for her, because she will deserve it.

And then I will send out another query as I toast her success.

Yes, there will always be another novel out there that is better than yours.  But somewhere in the world there is an agent or publisher who will pick up yours and say “Holy cow! THIS is what I’ve been looking for FOREVER!!!”

Someday.

For now, I think I might need to get another half-gallon of ice cream.

_JenniFer____EatoN

Reconnecting with Art – Manga Lessons #2 – The dreaded 3/4 face

After last week’s fairly successful attempt after a 12 year hiatus from drawing, My son and I sat down for another round this week.  He wanted to perfect his character from last week, so he continued with the first pose.

I moved on to a pose that was my nemesis when I drew realistic characters… the 3/4 face.  BBbbrrrrrrr.  Gives me the chills just thinking about it.

Not too shabby though.  This style is really easy to draw in.  (Okay, not completely easy, and my growling son would attest to… but certainly not hard if you have mastered how to make a pencil do what you command)

Manga 2

Anyway, here’s the 3/4 face pose (turned slightly to the side) Again, I’m pretty happy except for the stinking hair!

I will master you, Manga hair. Oh yes, I will!

JenniFer_EatonF

A Review of “Dipping in a Toe” By Linda Carroll-Bradd @lcarrollbradd

I was just floored by this short story.  This little tidbit did everything it was meant to do.  It wet my appetite, and left me screaming for more.

Normally, I don’t like shorts, because I always feel like there is more to the story that I have not been told.  To an extent, this is no exception to that. However, this was so superbly written that I was left feeling satisfied with the ending, and not wanting to chuck my E-reader at the wall.

This is a very simple story about a single mother being attracted to her kid’s much younger swim coach, and what happens when he returns her attention.

While this is a very sweet story. (Not even any kissing) I found myself submersed in the heat between these two characters, and feeling every sensory perception relayed by the author.

My only fault is how short it is (I read it in two nights, but I could have gobbled it in one sitting if I wanted to)  I would love to read more about this new couple, and if there is a part two, I am reaching for it.

In general, I like fantasy or chase novels, and romance bores me.  This story, though, just blew my socks off without any TNT.  For the first time in a long time, I am looking up an author to see what else she’s written.

I can’t find any reason in this book not to give it five stars.  This is sweet romance at its utter and complete best.

Rule #5 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #5

5: Pairs of adjectives are exponentially worse than single adjectives. The ‘big, old’ man walked slowly towards the ‘tall, beautiful’ girl. When I read a sentence like that, I’m hoping he dies before he arrives at his destination. Mind you, that’s probably a cue for a ‘noisy, white’ ambulance to arrive. Wailingly, perhaps!

I think this is pretty much self-explanatory.  I know I have done this, but usually to create a mood, and definitely in moderation.

For instance, a character in a deep, dark dungeon.  Miles took a slow, calculated step.  Yes, in each case you could delete one, but there is a mood set with the use of two, right.  BE CAREFUL THOUGH.  Use this extremely sparingly.  (Ha!  That’s two “ly” words in a row)

Take a look through your manuscript.  Where have you used double adjectives and had it work well?  Where did you smack yourself upside the head and delete one (or more) adjectives?

JenniFer_EatonF