Category Archives: General Writing Tips

Lesson Twelve from the Gold Mine Manuscript Red Line: How Are Your Characters Feeling Today?

Posted on October 29, 2011 | 13 comments

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

“Magellan walked back from the library slowly, feeling exhausted from studying all day.”

Sorry, Gellan.  You’re not allowed to “feel exhausted”.  I have totally failed you as a mother author.  (Don’t you feel like their parents sometimes?)  Anyway… .

According to this publisher, Feeling, Felt, and Feel are very telling words.  They are right up there with “look” for setting off the “no-no” meter.  Instead of using these words, we should be showing our readers how our characters feel instead.  Give us actions that show us that he’s tired without telling us that he is.

Errghhh. Okay…

“Magellan dragged his feet as he walked home from the library.  He could barely keep his eyes open after studying all day.”

Okay, they are forgiven.  Point taken.  The second one is better.  The word count does suffer a little in this example, but I could probably have done better if I gave it a little more thought. (They might even consider “barely keep his eyes open” as tell. too.  I could have probably done better there, as well.)

Another bad telly sentence that I would have been guilty of before seeing the Gold Mine Manuscript was something like:

“Magellan was exhausted.  He dragged his feet all the way home”
There is no reason to say “Magellan was exhausted” and SHOW that he is exhausted right afterwards.  Just delete that first part, and stick with the showing part and it will sound much better.

This tip, will definitely help make your manuscript stand out from the others.  I still have to stop myself from doing this.  For some reason, I naturally “tell” First, and then I show.  I don’t know why.  I’m starting to catch myself, but sometimes it’s tough.

Hope this one helps.

If you don’t get it, please drop me a line, and I will discuss in more depth. I think this is a really good point that a lot of people seem to be stumbling with (me included).  I saw it a lot critiquing a recent 250 word contest.  Set yourself apart by trying to avoid it.

Jennifer Eaton

13 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Gold Mine Manuscript

Tagged , , , , , ,

Q & A Panel “Getting Published”

Posted on October 27, 2011 | 2 comments

I know most of you are probably nowhere near NJ, but a few of you might be close enough to take advantage of this.  For those of you who can’t get there… If I can drag myself away from my kids for a night, I will take notes and share the wealth (as always)

Tuesday, November 1, 7 PM: Panel/Q&A, “GETTING PUBLISHED.” Cherry Hill Library (1100 Kings Highway North, Cherry Hill, New Jersey 08034-1911 ).  Jennifer R. Hubbard appearing with Jon Gibbs, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Kristin Battestella,  Mike McPhail and Jonathan Maberry of the New Jersey Authors Network.

Related articles

2 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips

Tagged , , , ,

Omigosh! You have to try this!

Posted on October 25, 2011 | 17 comments

Like Kristina Stanley, who keyed me into this site… I may be behind the times and maybe everyone else knows about Wordle.  But if you don’t you just have to try it!

You load something you’ve written into it, and it gives you a visual representation of the frequency of your words.  The bigger the word, the more you use it.  You can then click on the randomize button, and it will show you different configurations.  It’s different pictures of your words!

I loaded my entire blog just for the fun of it.  This is what I came up with.

I guess I use the word “like” a lot.  Tee Hee.  “Brian” and “Mom” must appear because of my “Cricket Riders” posting.

As Kristina suggested, this has a practical use, too.  You can upload a chapter of your novel, and see if you overuse any words. This is what I came up with when I loaded Chapter 4 of my novel.  If you want to see it bigger, click on the picture.

It’s dead on, because Magellan is the main character, and Meagan is the only other person in the scene.  They are talking to each other through a locked door, and he is begging her to “please” don’t go.

This could be addictive.  Great idea, Kristina!

Related articles

17 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Senseless Ranting

Tagged , , , ,

Help me decide on a beginning to my novel

Posted on October 22, 2011 | 10 comments

I’ve been thinking about a comment J Randolph said on one of my earlier posts for Row 80, where I said I had a goal this week of “choosing one of two possible beginnings” to my novel.  She suggested doing a poll.

Well, honestly, I’ve never done a poll, but her comment stuck with me.  I thought… Why not?

I am struggling between two possible beginnings to HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT.  I really like both.  I am steering towards one, but I figured, why not get a few more opinions?

The choices are:  **Drumroll please**

“Fruit Throwing” or “Stuck in a Closet.”

If you look at my header bar, I have placed a separate page for each one.  They are both about 700 words long, and bring you to exactly the same point.  If you’re into it, please read both, and then come back here to vote.  I’d also like to know what you liked, or didn’t like about each one.

I’ll let you know what I decide after I chew on the feedback.

Thanks for your input!

Update:  Poll closed.  Thanks!

10 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Senseless Ranting

Tagged , , , , ,

Free Professional Writing and Query Help from Real Agents!

Posted on August 16, 2011 | 1 comment

WriteOnCon 2011 starts today and goes through Thursday.  If you haven’t heard about it, it’s a really great place to get gads of information all in one place.  It’s great stuff presented by industry professionals that writers normally would have to know someone or have to jump through hoops to try to get.

Here is a link to this year’s offerings.  http://writeoncon.com/2011/08/gearing-up-for-writeoncon-2011-%E2%80%93-the-full-schedule/

There are question and answer sessions with agents, chances to submit your pitches, queries, and parts of your manuscripts for agents to look at and give feedback on.  (And if you are one of the lucky ones, they might ask you to submit something to them off-line)

There are also general topics of discussion.  I can’t wait to see the one on writing the perfect opening line.  I am so darn tired of writing my first page I can’t stand it!

What’s great about this, is if you are like me, and you can’t get off from work to participate in the live offerings during the day, the posts will still be there when you get home.  So, even if you are not participating, you can still learn from the agents that are on-line.  It’s a really great opportunity.

So, what are you still doing here reading this blog?  Get on over there and learn a few things from some agents and GOOD LUCK with your querying!

1 Comment

Posted in General Writing Tips, Senseless Ranting

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rooting out the Show Verses Tell

Posted on August 14, 2011 | 2 comments

Have you ever read a manuscript that was JAM PACKED LOADED with tell sequences?

Was it your own?  Would you admit to it if it was?

Even bigger question:  Do you even know what I am talking about?  (I admit, I didn’t when I started out)

There are actually people out there querying novels that are 80% tell and are wondering why they are getting rejections.

Do you know the mistake they made (other than writing a “telly” story)?  They tried to skip the Beta Read process.

If you are querying now, and the only people who’ve read your story are people who know you, you should really consider trying to find a beta partner… or two… or five.

I admit, I was totally convinced my novel was perfect and ready for publication.  When I went through the beta read process I found out it was full of tell sequences and I didn’t even know it.  You know what?  They were really easy to fix (for the most part).

All I needed, was someone to point out to me that they were there.

Don’t walk… run to find yourself a good beta reader, and get ready to have a thick skin too.

You might be surprised about what they find.

2 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Revision time! (Using losing a contest to your advantage)

Posted on August 10, 2011 | 3 comments

I mentioned last week that one of the judges in a writing contest I entered liked my pitch, but I didn’t make the finals because my first page was not “exciting enough”.  As any good writer would do, I used this as a learning experience, and I tossed my first page and started over.  Now, I didn’t really CHANGE anything per se.  I just started with a blank page, and re-wrote EXACTLY THE SAME SCENE keeping in mind the comment that the first one didn’t seem exciting.

I resisted the temptation of looking back at my original while I was writing, by doing this at a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT computer, and I’m glad I did.  Several times I stopped, and wished I could look back at my original manuscript. If I did, I probably would have ended up with something very similar to the first opening.

What’s odd, is this is really the same thing.  It’s a fight being witnessed by a child, but  the tone is extremely different.  When I look at my original now, my brain says, “what was I thinking?”

I passed this by my writer’s group this weekend, and they seemed to like it.

I think I love it.  Hopefully, I am finally where I need to be!

Here’s my revision.  Hopefully, it makes you bite your nails a little, and draws you in without getting you lost in the commotion of the argument.

———————————————————————————–

A piece of spoiled fruit flew across the room and hit his father square across the jaw.  Magellan watched him wipe it away indifferently as the tall man started shouting at his father again.  The room erupted in shouts and jeers.

These people are insane, Magellan thought.

“Execute him, My Lord!” someone in the assembly yelled.

Execute him? Now I know they’re nuts.

His mother cringed, and held tightly to his crying siblings as they cowered around her.   The crowd screamed louder, nearly drowning out the roar of the rain on the huge windows surrounding the room.  She reached for him, and Magellan stepped back.  He had no desire to hide in her skirts.

He grasped onto a small black rock in his pocket, ready to throw it if he needed to as the people in the crowd took to their feet.   All Father did was say the moon orbiting planet Roria should be free.  Freedom is a good thing, isn’t it?What’s wrong with these people?

The tall man took a step toward his father, and leaned menacingly close to his face.  “Give me an example of one person on that moon that has asked for freedom.”

His father dropped his eyes.

“What are you doing, Father?” Magellan whispered to himself.  “Answer him.”  You’ve always taught us about how important freedom is.  Here’s your chance to speak your mind.  We’re at court.  Tell them.  Make them believe.  Explain to them that the High King is a tyrant!

3 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Writing Contests

Tagged , , , , ,

Yes! We will publish your novel… If…

Posted on July 30, 2011 | 4 comments

 You toil for years over your story.  It’s very intricate.  It’s brilliant

(I can say this because it’s not mine.  This just happened to a friend of mine Friday)

Your story is a three-part series. Every facet of book one is important to the next two novels, and they are all completely written (at least in draft form)

 You send it out, rejection here, rejection there, partial here, partial there, rejection, and then BAM!  A request for a Full Manuscript from an indie publisher.  The only chink is that they think it is too long, so you need to cut 25,000 words out of it before they will even consider you, and you only have two weeks to do it.  You toil and toil.  You edit till you drop.  Your beta partner reads madly right behind you watching for little plot chinks that don’t work.  Coffee if your friend.  Sleep is optional, but you do it.  You make your deadline.  (And I have to admit, the final draft minus the 25,000 words is AWESOME)

 You wait and wait, and after a few weeks, you get a response.  They are interested.  They just want you to change one little thing that they don’t like.  The problem is that one little thing is extremely important to the next two novels.  They said if she’s willing to change that, they’d read the revised version, and prepare to move forward.

 UGH!  I sat on the phone with her for an hour and a half trudging through how to make it work…  how to take this one facet out, or how to work around it.  A week ago, she was talking about how many of her friends changed their stories drastically just to get published.  Now here she is in the same boat.

 I’m wondering what I’d do.  Little changes everyone expects to make… but something drastic enough to affect your entire series? 

 Positive energy SHOOTING your way, Buddy!  I hope you make the right decision, whatever that is!

4 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Senseless Ranting

Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Stinking words you hate

Posted on July 22, 2011 | 4 comments

 

 

Dictionary.com had a spotlight on their home page yesterday to a quiz called “12 of the cruelest confusing words–  The English language can be cruel, can’t it?”

Everyone has those “stinking words” that they just cannot get right.  For me, it’s brought and bought.  I just don’t know why I can’t get them straight.  I am an educated woman, but these two words, as my beta readers can attest to, always seem to elude me.  For some reason, my characters always seem to have “brought” something from the store, or they bought a toy with them on a trip.  If given a chance, I will always reverse them.

Here’s the Dictionary.com definitions:

 

brought/verb–simple past tense and past participle of bring

bought/verb–simple past tense and past participle of buy

 

Now, after staring at them, I noticed something… Bring/brought  Buy/Bought…  Bring and Brought both start with a “br”.  Will knowing this help me in the future?  Honestly, probably not.  I don’t even think of these words when I am writing.  They just fly out of my fingers, and the spell check does not catch them, so I don’t even think about it.

 So, I am going to blame it on my fingertips.  I know the difference.  It’s my fingertips that refuse to type them right.

4 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips

Just how good are YOUR first 250 words?

Posted on July 21, 2011 | 4 comments

 

This past week, I joined a very simple writing contest. 

Nothing flashy… just a pitch and the first 250 words of my manuscript.

 Now, no matter how this turns out, I did get something out of the experience…

 #1:  I read a few of the other entries, and was able to make some comments on them.  It was enlightening to see what else is out there being queried.  There is some really interesting stuff out there.  And ****GACK**** some of these authors are REALLY talented.  See # 2

 #2:  This contest called for the first 250 words of the manuscript.  YIKES. This is my challenge to you.  Read the first 250 words of your manuscript.  Not the first 300.  Not even the first 260.  THE FIRST 250.  Now, you might say, “The first 250 words of any manuscript aren’t good.  They’re just exposition.”  Well, let me tell you.  There are a few people in this contest who have KICK BUTT first 250 words. 

 It made me start thinking… How many agents/publishers might only read the first 250 words or so of a submission, and just move on if they are not INSTANTLY “wowed” by the work? 

The more I thought about it, the more I decided “Probably a lot of them.”  These people are REALLY BUSY. 

I read an interview with an agent who said they receive 10,000 queries a year.  Think that over.

 I, for one, learned something from this contest.  I am looking closely at my first 250 words again. 

When they were standing out there all alone, I didn’t quite love them as much as I did when they were attached to the next paragraph.

4 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips