For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine? You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar. Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.
In the Gold Mine Manuscript, there is a point where the MC is thrust into the magical world. He has been there for a few days, and suddenly he is faced with an animal that can speak to him through their minds.
In concept, this is fine. However, the publisher red-lined that the MC was “too accepting” of this. The MC just jumped in and said “okay, no problem” – well, he didn’t say it that way, but he jumped right on board.
The publisher said that it would be okay for the characters who were born into this world to be fine with this, but the MC should not accept so easily. A few paragraphs later, the MC also tells his friend that there’s nothing to be afraid of, and that he’s harmless… they red-lined that too.
Think of it this way… if you ran into a guy in the street, and just started talking to him for a few minutes, would you be willing to risk your life, and your best friend’s life in trusting this person, or would you be a little wary? Now make this person a really large mythical animal. Getting nervous yet?
Be careful that you don’t put your own knowledge into your character’s heads before that knowledge is learned. You as the author know there is nothing to fear, but to make it realistic, your character’s “trust” needs to be earned to a degree. Let relationships develop so they seem more natural and believable. Don’t take the easy way out to move your story ahead more quickly.
Think over your novel. Have you done anything like this?