This is where uncertainty creeps in.
I’m done. I can’t make it any better than it is… at least not in the next few hours… So I just sit and stare at my screen.
I made the mistake of beta-reading my writing buddy’s submission, and her final version knocked my socks off. It also made me sick to my stomach.
Yeah. You guessed it. Mine suddenly stinks.
What was I thinking? I’m a Science Fiction Writer! I explode things. It’s what I do. What the heck was I thinking with this Dystopian Romance?
But are they just being nice? Were those just required “cheerleader” Whoots? And one of them didn’t like it at all!
But the other submission is so much better than mine.
But what if all the others are that good?
I’m afraid.
Sweat pours down my temples as my finger hovers over the submit button.
Maybe if I rewrite the climax one more time? Maybe I should read it once more for syntax errors?
I took a deep breath…
And I pressed the stinking button.
Relief swept over me. Tension left my muscles.
Now for the worst part…Waiting.
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Jennifer M Eaton 
LOVE your representation of drawing words, writing pictures technique in this post (dw-wp.com). Excellent, quick, and anecdotal post. 😀
Pink.
Glad you liked it. It was fun to create
I don’t think that doubt and fear ever really goes away, but you slayed the hardest part and put it out there! Best of luck to you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
Thanks. So glad to be over that hurdle!
I went through the same thing when I submitted my work to writing contest. My palms were sweaty but I celebrated after I hit “send” with a nice glass of wine.
How about a nice cool Gatorade? Cheers (She lifts her bottle) 🙂
Nope. Wine was needed. Scotch would have been better.
I hate self-doubt. It’s like a fungus for writers. Run away, run away!
I’m sure your dystopian romance is totally awesome! 🙂
OOoo. Like a Fungus. I like that. I reserve the right to steal that someday!
Glad I am not alone in my self-doubt. 🙂
I need to smack myself a little. Hers was better because it was my favorite genre. Sometimes, as writers, I think we “look for things”
Your story totally rocked! And I don’t compare self-doubt to a fungus. Truffles are a fungus and they’re delish! Personally, I think of self-doubt as mold…mildew, a wart on my backside, something black and disgusting and horrible. And it’s so hard to erase…eradicate. Just have to keep pushing forward.
Ha! You should copy and paste that into the header of your blog!
Congrats on pushing the button!! Ohhh how I know the agony of which you speak. It was strange, and comforting, to see my thought process mirrored here by another author!
Always glad to wallow with others in their insanity!
Hitting the submit/send button is the hardest thing a writer does. You’re not alone in your feelings. And if your writing buddy got to beta read your submission, she’s probably thinking yours is the better one!
Now, how about clearing your mind by blowing up something in another galaxy….?
Yay! Whay can I explode??? (My dog just ran away. Why is that?)
Congratulations on pressing the button! It’s out in the wild and you can’t do anything about it any more. You should take comfort in that and now use the time to write something else.
Keep moving forward, Jennifer. You are a writer. You write.
Foreward yes, but I need just a little break. Sleep would be nice.
You’re way ahead of me … i’m still thinking … can i really try, can i really compete. THAT’s low-end defeat, yea? Go for it! Ignore outside sources of negativity. (good advice … should i take it???) YES! xo m
Just push through until you finish. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or not. The thrill of finishing something is great, too.
We can all relate to that… I’ve been submitting for twenty years and my finger still hovers over that send button and the butterflies flip around in my stomach every time… good luck to you!
Armand Rosamilia
Thanks so much. You mean it won’t get better? Ugh!
Jennifer, I would wish you luck but you don’t need it because you’ve got talent. Work on something else while you’re waiting and it won’t seem so bad. I’ll be thinking about you. 🙂
Awe, thanks. I’m actually outlining something new. Something might blow… heck something will definitely blow. I need some mayhem!
Oh my goodness! This is exactly how I felt when I sent by book off yesterday. It’s scary letting go and trusting that you’ve done your best.
There’s always something you can change. You just need to say “enough is enough” after a while.
Hitting that submit button is the hardest part about writing. The worst the other end can do is say “no”. It’s not as if the world will explode if a publisher doesn’t like it and rejects it. I wouldn’t worry about anything. You’re a great writer. They’re going to love it. You’ll see.
Awe. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Yours totally rocks you know. I know yours will be a hit.
Best of luck… glad you went ahead and pressed the button. Got my fingers crossed for you.
Thanks so much!
Many people seem to be having a “warring with myself” day… Glad you pressed the stinking button 🙂 Don’t worry about the doubt after reading others work. I think we all feel that after.
Sometimes I think it is just that you’re reading something different, and anything sounds better than yours. Ya know what I mean?
True. I know exactly how this feels. Every time I read through everyone I follow I think ugh, they know that they’re doing writing, I don’t. He’s wity AND funny (Im not funny enough), she’s deep AND positive (Im not good at projecting my positivity), she’s made her point in 500 uplifting words (Ive made my point, but did anyone actually read all 1000 rambles?)…. Then I force myself to think of all the people i know and things Ive read that make me wonder if the person ever attended school even, because they sound like idiots….and i feel better.
Everyone has their audience, and your audience has friends who are similar to them, and that will grow, lovey.
So, what time is it in Saudi Arabia, anyway?
7:45 am.. it was 6:40ish when I wrote. Which means you’re Eastern time zone, yes? Nocturnal, are we? lol
You posted this at 12:45 AM my time. And yes, I’m awake. The best time to get things done is when the kids are asleep. Ahhhhhh quiet.
ahh.. No little mess makers here, but I feel the same way…except in the morning. I get up just after 4 to have the world alone, quiet, cool and dark for a while. Just the birds waking. 🙂 How long do you have to wait to hear about your submission?
I wish I knew. No fingernails left.
Well.. depending on your flexibility, there’s always your toes. Or chocolate.
P.S. most of the idiots are either postings on facebook or folks i know personally. Truly sucky writers dont (im guessig) end up on wordpress. We’re in a bit of a bubble of fabulosity, so it skews perception that we’re each not as good. Good news is youve found your tribe, to an extent, so we’re likely all feeling the same way. 😉