Tag Archives: kids

Is Rewarding Mediocrity Ruining Our Youth?

I will always remember a line from the movie THE INCREDIBLES. They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity!” My husband and I always laughed at this, because as the parents of three grade-school boys, we knew this to be very true.

I’m not only talking about all those graduation ceremonies for moving from the three-year-old room to the four-year-old room in daycare. I’m talking about things like getting a trophy just for participating in sports, even if you come in last place. I’m talking about that school somewhere (I can’t remember where) who decided to stop naming someone valedictorian because it makes the other kids feel bad they didn’t “win”.

Huh

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but many kids these days grow up believing they are “entitled” to what they want. I think this is the result of all the coddling they get in the early years of their lives.

Seriously… Why work your butt off, sweating in your sports game if at the end the winner is going to get exactly the same trophy as the team that ends up in last place?

This reared its ugly head for me personally this morning.  My husband called me to let me know that the middle school had called. Middle Dude had to be taken out of homeroom because he did not make the soccer team. He was devastated.

My heart broke.

The more I thought about it, the more angry I became— not at the school or the coaches, but at all the previous schools and coaches Middle Dude has encountered.

They dropped the ball in preparing my kid for the real world.

The truth is, the real world is not all rosy. When he graduates college, chances are he will not get the “dream job” he’s been fantasizing about. If he does get a job, he will be expected to over-preform, not under preform… and if he doesn’t do his job, no one is going to pat him on the back and say: “that’s okay, we’re going to give you a raise anyway. Don’t feel bad.”

This was a big wake-up call to me. Middle Dude had no conception of the possibility of not making the team. Up until now, everything had been handed him on a silver platter.  Probably the only people who have said “no” to him were his parents, and no matter how many times we tell our kids what “the real world” is like, they always just grin and shake their heads at us…

Because the real world gives them everything they want, and celebrates their achievement of nothing.

In their minds, we, as parents, know nothing.

It makes me sad. Really sad. It is fine for Middle Dude to be upset about not making the team. I remember in high school how I felt when I didn’t get the part in the play that I wanted. BUT I ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD THERE WAS A POSSIBILITY OF THE PART GOING TO SOMEONE ELSE.

It is a different day. I applaud many of the things that government and schools have come up with to protect our kids physically and emotionally. But there is such thing as over-protecting them.

The world has not changed. In fact, it is probably a much worse place than it was when I grew up. But my kids don’t believe that.

They are the generation of entitlement. And I am so afraid for them.

The real world entitles no one.

JenniFer_Eaton Sparkle__F

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Apparently, I’m Weird. Who Knew?

Apparently, I’m weird. Okay, Okay I’m not talking about the little blue alien living in my computer. I’m talking about real-life stuff.

Have you ever had someone tell you that your life is implausible, and would never happen?

I’m writing a MG Contemporary, and to keep myself from going off the deep end and blowing stuff up, or having a sea dragon pop out of the ocean, I am grounding the story in my own personal experience.

This is how I found out I’m weird.

I have critique partners telling me that no kid could sail a boat on their own.

Ummm. Huh?

Sail Boat

Sail Boat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I grew up living in a house on the water. We sailed every weekend. We went fishing for our supper. My father loved the water and everything having to do with it.

We all learned to sail from the time we could walk and get a life-jacket slapped onto us. Now, that’s not to say that I, personally could have sailed a boat. I much preferred to catch fishies and scoop up crabs. But my brothers and sisters could sail, and not just small Sun Fish sailboats. Big sucker sailboats.  But apparently, my family is weird.

I was also told that a mother that is afraid of the water would not allow her family to be totally in to boating, leaving her discluded from family activities.

Ummm huh?

My mom could not swim. She was terrified of the water. Did that stop us from living five steps from a dock with boats? Umm, No. It was a very rare occasion that she would step foot on the docks, and even more rare for her to get on a boat, but she did it for my dad once in a while. (But he had to go really, really slow or she’d scream bloody murder)

So Mom and Dad were weird, too.

I suppose I am a product of weirdness.

Everyone says write what you know.

This is what I know.

A Nonsuch 30' under sail

A Nonsuch 30′ under sail – much like the boat I grew up on (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But apparently what I know is weird.

Have you ever come across this? —

People thinking something you’ve written is implausible just because they were raised differently?

JenniFer_EatonF

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