Tag Archives: novel

Lesson Twenty-Eight from a Manuscript Red Line: Very Discreet Point of View Switches

Posted on February 20, 2012 | 18 comments

I’ve talked about this before, but the second time might be a charm.  I think a lot of people are having trouble with discreet POV switches.  The big ones… where we pop heads for half a chapter are easy to find.  The one-liners may be harder to spot.

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

Let’s go back to my little flash fiction scene.  Remember Jason and Eric fighting?  Let’s add a line to that.  (In bold)

Jason grunted as his fist swung toward Eric’s face.  Eric tried to dodge, but instead felt the sting of the older boy’s ring cutting into his jaw.  He fell to the floor with a muffled thump, and groaned as he rolled over. 

Jason wiped his chin and laughed.  “I told you to stay down.”

Eric pushed up onto his knees.  “Why, so you can just pummel me?”  He popped up and swung at Jason, but missed.

Jason ducked and swung at the same time.  There was no time for Eric to react.  His head creaked back, and his jaw rattled as he crumpled to the floor.

Jason breathed heavily, mopping the sweat from his brow.  He grunted and chose his words carefully.  “I told you to stay down, idiot.”  He snickered at the pitiful scene before him, and walked away.

There you have a short-one paragraph POV switch.  The scene is in Eric’s POV.  How would Eric know Jason was choosing his words carefully?  How would Eric know he was snickering at how pitiful he looked?  (Remember Peanut butter and Jelly Syndrome?)  Jason could have just remembered a funny joke.  Eric has no idea what he is really thinking.

The reason I used “Chose his words carefully” which might be a little odd in the example above, was because those were the words used in the POV switch in the Gold Mine Manuscript.  We were in character #1’s POV, and then another character “chose his words carefully”.  They flagged it as a POV switch.

Honestly, before reading their comments, I would have read right over this… I have also seen it in published works, but it is a switch in POV.  Do your best to keep an eye out for little things like this.  It will set your novel apart.

Hope this helps!

18 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Gold Mine Manuscript

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Interview with Published Author Fran Metzman “The Hungry Heart Stories”

Posted on February 18, 2012 | 26 comments

No, it is not a little blue woman from Mars (although that would be totally cool, too.)

Today my humble little site is part of Fran Metzman’s promotional blog tour for the release of her short story collection:  THE HUNGRY HEART STORIES.

Each of the twelve stories in Fran’s collection involves food as a means to fulfillment (If it were me, it would be a book all about chocolate)  🙂

Without further ado, let’s welcome the lovely and talented Fran Metzman!

Hello Fran, and welcome to “Learn from my Mistakes”

Fran:  Hello everyone!

***Imagine Fran smiling and waving madly***

This site is dedicated to new and soon to be published authors. At the end of this interview, would you be willing to answer questions from inquiring minds?

Fran:  Yes.  I would be delighted.

Great!  Keep that in mind, guys.  Okay, let’s get started.

Fran, would you tell us about the first time you were published.

Fran: I consider this publication of THE HUNGRY HEART STORIES, as my first, as it is actually the first one published with only my own name. The other was co-written. In UGLY COOKIES and THE HUNGRY HEART STORIES, each story deals with relationship issues – a theme that has always intrigued me.

What part of relationships intrigues you so much?

Fran: We are all trying to find a level of satisfaction in relationships and it is common to feel cheated at some point in our lives. We yearn to fill emotional voids. I want to answer the question – how far will we go to find a relationship that answers deep-rooted needs?

As a writing teacher, what do you see as a re-occurring problem you need to “teach out” of new writers. What are the common mistakes they make?

Fran: I do encourage people to write from the heart, but all too often that is where they want to stop. In my opinion, it is vital to understand the structure of fiction writing because in today’s world of publishing whether it is non-fiction, memoir and even journalism, they are expecting the works to follow the form of fiction. Once a writer has that under his/her belt they have the option of experimenting. It’s like art – you must understand the structure of the body in order to sculpt or paint a figure before going on to other genres.

Can you explain that a little more? Do you mean “fitting into a set mold” or is there a certain structure that is undeniably necessary?

Fran: I don’t mean for anyone to be locked into a particular writing style. My undergraduate degree was from Moore College of Art in Philadelphia and I was a sculpture major. When we learned how to draw a person we did it step-by-step. First we did a skeleton then laid a clear sheet on top and did the muscles and sinews next. The final plastic sheet presented with skin, face, hands and toes. It was a process that enabled us to understand the structure of the body so that all parts were anatomically correct. Once we understood that, we could use that information to evolve into our own thing.

Interesting.  How did this help to make you a better writer?

Fran:  Figures differ but when the different body parts are out of scale it disturbs the visual rhythm the same way the written format may become unbalanced. For instance, if there is too much description that goes on for pages you will, in all probability, lose your reader unless you have presented such a strong, unique voice that we get lost in the work. That doesn’t happen often. Once you have an understanding of the structure, you can experiment.

Wow.  Not too many of us have the experience of learning art in that way, and can relate that to our writing.  Interesting insight.  How do you think a new writer can get there, without sculpting in clay?

Fran: Write regularly on a set schedule even if it is only once a week. WRITE!

Tell us about your first novel “Ugly Cookies”.

Fran: I co-wrote UGLY COOKIES with Joy Stocke based loosely on several short stories that seriously involve parental/child relationships, romance and feminist ideals. It also has a sub-plot of prejudices toward the elderly, something that has become a hot topic nationally today.

What was your reaction when you first saw a “real” printed copy? What did you do?

Fran: Seeing that book in print thrilled me and made me incredulous at the same time. Was that my name on the cover? How could that have happened? It had a dream like quality to it. But that didn’t last long as we had to immediately get into the huge amount of work involved in publicity.

I’ve had a lot of discussions with people, and this is what they are most worried about… Promoting.  What did you do to publicize?

Fran: It has changed so dramatically from the time my first novel was published about 10 years ago. Now it is VIRTUAL TOURS. Book chains and many independents have folded in the interim and fewer people attend live readings. We have generations who are constantly on computers, texting, googling, IPhoning, game playing, and connected tightly to screens for a myriad of reasons. The new way of publicizing is not easy for someone like myself who still prefers hard copies of books.

It’s okay, you’re doing fine.  We bloggers are a friendly group.  What’s been the hardest part about cyber-publicizing?

Fran: Today it’s all about being online for links, connections, websites, tags, Facebook, Twitter and the plethora of connections online. This consumes mammoth amounts of time as I worry when will I get back to writing.

Piff!  Speaking to the choir, my friend!  Let’s talk about some awards.  “My Inheritance” was nominated for a Dzanc Books Award for Best of the Web. Was that a surprise? What do you think made it stand out from the others?

Fran: That story has always impacted me emotionally, but I was a bit surprised as there are so many mother/daughter stories out there. It is a sensitive subject and many women choose it as a topic. I hoped I had a somewhat different spin on it. I did know someone who went into therapy when her mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I didn’t know any details, just had this nugget. So the story is a total fiction. But as in all my stories, there is a seeking for redemption.

You just released “The Hungry Heart Stories”. Each short story in the collection relates to food in some way. Why did you choose food as a theme?

Fran: My own mother was a sensational cook and baker. It was a major way for her to express her love. When I came home from school the house was filled with the most delectable scents, oh those wonderful peach pies. There are a couple of downsides and one is that I was a chubby kid. The other was refusing food could be a serious problem in my house. I believe, my mother interpreted it as a rejection. So, I learned to eat every morsel put on my plate.

Tee Hee. It was the same way in my house, but since my Mom was raised during the Great Depression, it was more “There are children starving somewhere” rather than a rejection thing. Did this affect your eating habits as a grown-up? Personally, I cannot TOUCH beef stew, asparagus, or boiled spinach.

Fran: Indeed, I developed bad eating habits. If you eat every bit on your plate beyond the point where you are full, it is just unhealthy excess. For years I have had to be very careful to get that under control. It is a fight every day not to overeat or eat the wrong foods. For years I didn’t eat strawberries (I do now) because my mother insisted I eat her cake that had strawberries in it. I wasn’t hungry and I sat for two hours staring at it. Finally, I gobbled it up so I could go out and play.

I’m looking at the cover of THE HUNGRY HEART STORIES.  There is a woman gazing into the distance. It feels like she is old to me, or maybe taking a step out of time.  Also, there is no food to be seen. Is there some underlying symbolism there?

Fran: The woman on the cover was to represent women of all ages who are yearning to fill an emotional void in their lives. She looks into the distance, hoping to find some answers. That kind of void is threaded throughout the stories, but the protagonists are all pro-active in trying to backfill a hunger yet to be satisfied. Some go to the edge to fulfill what they perceive as the missing piece that once found will make their lives whole. But in seeking to resolve this lack of fulfillment – they might go to the edge.

After having been through the publishing process twice, what little snippet of advice would you give to soon to be published authors?

Fran: The publishing industry is, as everyone knows, very, very tough. This is where knowledge of fictional structure pays off. You have to submit a near perfect piece in order to get it published. The time is long gone when an author could say that something they wrote needs some work but publishers have editors for that. The industry has leaned down so that there are fewer editors and little time to do overhauls.

So, do you think everyone should look into a professional editor before they even submit a manuscript? Does that go for submitting to agents, too, or just publisher direct?

Fran: Yes, a near perfect manuscript is expected from agents and editors. Since an agent doesn’t make money until they sell the book, they are especially reluctant to spend time trying to make it pitch perfect for publishers. As for professional editors, that could be expensive. If you can afford it, I say go for it. Check the editor out as well to make sure they are good. If money is an issue, find a friend who is an educated reader for content and clarity. If they are grammarians or can edit well — even better. Workshopping with a group of writers is also very helpful.

Other than editing, do you have any other advice?

Fran:  Not only does it have to be in excellent shape, the beginning has to be a grabber.

There you have it… words of wisdom from author Fran Metzman.  Thanks for stopping by Fran!

I am now opening it up for questions.  If you have a question for Fran, just post it in comments below.

Fran Metzman Author Bio

Award-winning author Fran Metzman is a graduate of the Moore College of Art and the University of Pennsylvania.  In addition to publishing numerous short stories and two novels, she also teaches writing at various local colleges and universities.  Her blog “The Age of Reasonable Doubt” can be found at Wild River Review.

THE HUNGRY HEART STORIES
Wilderness House Press
ISBN 978 0 9827115  5 2

On Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/7xgqgsn

On Barnes & Noble: http://tinyurl.com/6pubq6c

Ugly Cookies: http://tinyurl.com/7tod2er

The Age of Reasonable Doubt: http://www.wildriverreview.com/metzman/

Wild River Review: http://www.wildriverreview.com/

“My Inheritance”: http://www.wildriverreview.com/FICTION/My-Inheritance/Fran-Metzman

Want more Fran?  Visit these great sites, also hosting this tour with reviews and more interviews.

Monday, February 13th
“Welcome to Hell” by Glenn Walker
http://www.monsura.blogspot.com

Tuesday, February 14th
“Writing – Art – Metaphysics” by Shelley Szajner
http://shelleyszajner.wordpress.com/

Wednesday, February 15th
“BeccaButcher’s Blog” by Becca Butcherhttp://beccabutcher.wordpress.com/

Thursday, February 16th
“GilbertCuriosities” by Marie Gilbert
http://gilbertcuriosities.blogspot.com/

Friday, February 17th
“The Author-in-Training” by Mieke Zamora-Mackay
http://www.miekezmackay.com/

Saturday, February 18th
“A Reference of Writing Rants for Writers or “Learn from My Mistakes” by Jennifer M. Eaton
https://jennifermeaton.com/

Sunday, February 19th
“GilbertCuriosities” by Marie Gilberthttp://gilbertcuriosities.blogspot.com/

Monday, February 20th
“BeccaButcher’s Blog” by Becca Butcherhttp://beccabutcher.wordpress.com/

Tuesday, February 21st
“The Dream Between” by Robin Renee
http://dreambetween.wordpress.com/

Wednesday, February 22nd
“Literary Debauchery” by Krista Magrowski
https://kamagrowski.wordpress.com/

Thursday, February 23rd
Wrap up with Glenn Walker
http://www.monsura.blogspot.com

26 Comments

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Lesson Twenty-Six from a Manuscript Red Line: CAPITAL LETTERS

Posted on February 6, 2012 | 28 comments

Do you use Capital letters when your character yells?  Do you use them for casting spells?  Do you use them for inner thoughts?

  

Me?   No, Jennifer. 

I would never do such a thing! 

Well, I might… and I have.

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

Amendment:  Hey!  This is my 100th post!  COOL!

I briefly mentioned CAPS in my first post on the Manuscript Red Line. (That was over Five months ago… Wow)  Anyway… here is the explanation.  The publisher said:

“The use of capital letters to show emphasis in a scene is not acceptable.  Especially don’t use it with magic, since JK Rowling did it that way.” (The Gold Mine author used caps as the character cast his spells)  “Come up with something new.  This is the key to fantasy – be unique – try not to do what was already done.”

Don’t shoot the messenger… this is their red-line, not mine.

In my novel, the characters don’t cast spells, but I did catch a few YELLING once in a while in CAPITAL LETTERS.  I got so used to looking at it that I liked it, but I have to admit, it works much better as “Get out!” rather than “GET OUT!”.  I use caps a lot for emphasis in my blog, so they may have wiggled their way into my novel.

For all you spell casters out there:  You can do better than JK Rowling.  She had her idea.  Now you need to come up with yours.  What are you going to come up with that everyone else wants to copy?

28 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Gold Mine Manuscript

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Lesson Twenty-Seven from a Manuscript Red Line: Fluidity in Action – How to write a good action scene

Posted on January 28, 2012 | 8 comments

An example of a poorly written action scene:

Jason punched Eric in the face.  Eric fell to the floor.  Eric groaned and rolled over.   Jason wiped his chin and laughed.  Eric popped up, and Eric swung at Jason, but missed.  Jason ducked and swung at the same time.  Eric crumpled to the floor.

(Yes, I totally made this paragraph up.)

The publisher’s comment on a similar (but not as poorly written) scene:  This is a very stilted fight scene. It reads action, next action, next action, next action without the fluidity that’s needed for a fight scene.

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?

You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

I have to admit, when I read the action passages in the Gold Mine Manuscript, I had the same comment.  The author was satisfied with the speed of the scenes though, and only made moderate changes.  Not being an expert, I backed off and figured it was just a “style choice”.  Guess not.

This fits in very well with my recent post on “Art of the Conflict”.  This scene is not about dialog, but this is definitely a conflict.  This one needs something inserted to break up the action, rather than action inserted to break up the dialog.

Now, I am not going to put a lot of time into this, since the scene is totally fake.  But let me add a little “art” to make it “flow”.  Fluidity is what they asked for.  Okay, here it goes…

Jason grunted as his fist swung toward Eric’s face.  Eric tried to dodge, but instead felt the sting of the older boy’s ring cutting into his jaw.  He fell to the floor with a muffled thump, and groaned as he rolled over.

Jason wiped his chin and laughed.  “I told you to stay down.”

Eric pushed up onto his knees.  “Why, so you can just pummel me?”  He popped up and swung at Jason, but missed.

Jason ducked and swung at the same time.  There was no time for Eric to react.  His head creaked back, and his jaw rattled as he crumpled to the floor.

Better, huh?  Not perfect by a long shot, but not bad for three minute flash fiction.  Can you feel the difference?  The staccato choppy “This happened-That happened” feel is gone, and the scene “flows”.

Of course, this is a first draft.  In editing, I would have to remove the “ing” word and the telly “felt”.  I would also insert a little emotion when Eric realized he missed, but this is definitely better by far than the first.  The art draws you into the scene.  You experience it, rather than just watching it.

The art of the conflict… If you don’t have it, go get it.

If you want to see a great published example, pick up a copy of  THRONE by Phillip Tucker and open up anywhere in the last hundred pages or so.

I hope this helps to make it more clear!

8 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Gold Mine Manuscript, Uncategorized

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Lesson Twenty-Three from a Manuscript Red Line: Kindle Syndrome

Posted on January 9, 2012 | 19 comments

Does your novel have Kindle Syndrome?

Would you be able to recognize it if it did?

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

I read right over this comment at least five times.  I do not own a kindle, so I didn’t understand what the publisher was saying.  This past weekend, I messed around with my sister’s Kindle.  Now this makes sense.  Let me explain…

The publisher said:  “This is a very long section that takes up two kindle pages of material.  Break it up with action and reaction.”

I believe I’ve already blogged about the overall problem of info dumps that go on too long, but this time when I read this comment, the “Kindle” word jumped out at me.

It would be foolhardy for anyone to think that their novels are going to be read 100 % in printed form.  In this new era, it’s just not feasible.  As we all know, technology has finally taken over the publishing world.

When I beta-read novels, I sometimes blow up the pages and just look at them.  If it looks like a text-book, I know there is a problem.  People want white-space when they read recreationally.  A dense page seems like too much work, right?

Now think about the Kindle (or choose your e-reader)…  What does it look like?  Do you see a full page like in a book?  Unless you are reading on something large, the screen is much smaller than an actual page.  A Kindle reader may press the forward button 2-3 times to get through a printed page of material.  I checked the word count on the section that they were talking about, and it was 230 words.  That’s about one page in a standard book.  If you change the type font and make it larger, there would be even more clicks to your page.

Do you really want your reader to click forward 3-4 times and have them still skimming reading the same description?

This is what I am getting at… The importance of White Space

White space is when you can “see the paper” behind your words.  White space can be achieved by new paragraphs, but it is done most effectively with dialog sequences.  Open up a few novels.  You should be able to see what I mean.  Your novel should not look like a text-book.  If there is dialog, it will look more “interactive”

I know as a reader I like white space.  It makes me feel accomplished.  True, on a kindle you cannot feel yourself getting to the end of a novel.  You might not even know you are at the end until you are there, since there are no page numbers (at least on the one my sister showed me)—so feeling accomplished while reading one must be hard…  But because of this, your reader will be effected EVEN MORE by lack of white space, because it will be so much more dramatic on a kindle screen rather than on paper.

I know a lot of you might not care… but I thought this would be worth mentioning.  We are living in a new world.  We have to consider what your novel will look like on the new media.   One or two long dense paragraphs might be fine once in a while, but make sure your scenes are broken up not only for pacing, but to get some of that “all so important” white space.

Amendment:  Since writing this post, I was given a Kindle Fire by my wonderful husband, and I am now 75% through my first novel.  Now that I am in this “electronic world,” I have to admit that everything I said up above really does apply.  Some of the description in the novel I am reading go on for 5 or more kindle pages of dense text.  The prose is beautiful, and well written, but to be honest I always start skimming somewhere in the middle of the second kindle page, which is far sooner than I would have on paper.

Also, on the Kindle Fire there are no page numbers, but it does tell you “percentage read” so you do see yourself getting to the end.

For me though, it makes the long descriptions even more monotonous because I like to feel accomplished.  I try to read a certain percentage each night, and I don’t know how many pages I have to read to achieve another “percent” read.

Yeah, I’m a nut.  But I am sure I am not alone!  Have mercy on a nutty reader.  Avoid Kindle Syndrome.

Jennifer Eaton

19 Comments

Posted in General Writing Tips, Gold Mine Manuscript

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Are you going to send out queries during Christmas break?

Posted on December 23, 2011 | 12 comments

I’ve spoken to a lot of people who are finishing up their novels (some of them from Nano) and are going to query their brains out during their Christmas vacations.

Me?  Nope!  No Way!

First of all, even though I am done, I want to get one more round of good solid beta reads in.  But there is another reason.

I remember reading something a long time ago that made a ton of sence, and it really stuck with me.  Oddly enough, I came across the article by accident the other day.  (The link is below) Re-reading it again made me feel even better about my timeline skipping right over Christmas and starting to query in a few months.

Nathan made some really good points in this article.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with Nathan Bransford, he used to be an agent, but recently left the agenting business and is now an author.

Nathan said there are not any good or bad times to query, with two exceptions.  You can read the full article below, but for those of you who are terrified of little links, here it is in a nutshell:

Don’t query if you know the agent is out of the office. Also don’t query around major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, Hanukkah, etc.

The reason is that many people have off, and a lot of them are using their time to send out queries… to agents that are not there because they are on vacation, or are leaving for vacation.  This means the agents are rushing through their submissions so they can finish before they leave, or they are just coming back to a pile of work that they have to RACE THROUGH to get caught up.

As Nathan said “take it from me — you don’t want to be part of a massive query pile when an agent is feeling a time crunch.”

“Ideally, sure, we’d give all queries equal time, consider every one similarly, whether we’re reading a pile of 10 or a pile of 500.  Ideally. 

“Reality: human nature is human nature.  When faced with a mountain that feels like it won’t move, you start moving a little quicker, take fewer chances, etc. etc.  I really aspire to keep a constant pace regardless of my workload, but it’s hard not to adjust how many partials you’re requesting based on how much work awaits.”

“Just don’t do it.  Avoid the weeks around major holidays.  It’s better to be part of a trickle than a flood. “

I think these are sound words of advice, especially since he wrote this when he was still an agent.

So, are you querying now?  Are you planning on querying next week?   Please, by all means do!  (She grins and giggles with her evil witch laugh)

I will be more than happy to tip-toe over you lightly in a few months if you are sitting in the slush pile.

Please check out Nathan Bransford’s site, and his first novel, Jacob Wonderbar.

Nathan Brandsford:  Is there a best time to Query?

Related articles

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Row 80 12-4-2011 I’ve Been SOOOO Behind!

Posted on December 4, 2011 | 13 comments

First of all, I need to start this off with a GREAT BIG  I’m sorry.

I have been so stinking behind this week I can’t stand it!  I feel really bad, because this is an interactive blog, and I’m supposed to COMMENT, but this week, it was just not meant to be.

It started out with a big surprise getting the Versatile Blogger Award (Thanks Again!)  Then, of course being anal as I am, I stressed over it, mulling through all the blogs I like and making sure I picked out the good ones that were also visually appealing and friendly.  Wow… I probably over thought that.

Honestly, I have not even had a chance to tell everyone who I nominated, although it looks like a few of you found out already. Congrats, guys!

Then, my computer goes and dies and holds a month’s worth of work for hostage.  See my post on freezing my computer.  It actually worked, and it is working absolutely fine now… too funny.

On the writing front, I wanted to finish the final read of my novel this week, and I came pretty close, but losing my computer for a day really put me behind, as well as a minor medical problem that lost another day.  The Holiday selling season has taken up a lot of my time at night, too.  So my next few weeks may be a bit of a struggle as well.

The good this is that I was able to hold to my blog schedule (only one day behind on “Gold Mine” due to my frozen computer)

I was able to read 85 percent of my novel prepping it for the final beta read round.

I also made a decision on the Matt’s hair chapters.  Guess what?  They stay.  Sorry.  What I figured out is that totaling it all up, this chapter and the references were only 2,000 words (not 4,000 like I originally thought)  The big problem is, if I take them out, I will need to insert something else, because there are three dream sequences that are broken up by those scenes.  So… Why cut 2,000 words that work to add another 2,000 words to make the story flow well?  I know someone will say that this scene does not drive the plot of this novel, but it does drive the plot of the series.

Deep down, I know that some editor is probably going to flag this theme, but for now, Matt is going to cut his cog-biting hair!

I guess the same as last week, minus the cuts.  With all that is going on right now I just want to finish reading, and hopefully give that blessed “The End” marker on my final draft so I can get it out to some beta-readers.  (One has a head start and is around half-way through)

On December 8th you’ll be seeing my entry post for Brenda Drake’s Can we guess your character’s age contest.  I never met a contest I didn’t like!

Oh Yeah!  I also need to let the rest of the people who haven’t found out yet that I nominated them for Versatile Blogger!

Ugh!  I hate being behind!

Jennifer Eaton

13 Comments

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Lesson Eighteen from a Manuscript Red Line:What makes your story Unique?

Posted on November 29, 2011 | 9 comments

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

This one might be tough, and was the subject of a one-hour conversation between the author and I as we tried to figure out how to do it.

The Publisher said that the story reminded them of Percy Jackson, and the world seemed too much like the Lord of the Rings.  Their comment was that they understood that not all plots are unique, but they want their authors to take what is not unique, and make it unique. They wanted to know what the author could offer in this world that has not already been done, and “why were people on horses and not in cars” (since the story does not take place in the past)

Wow.  Tough one.

One of the things that initially drew me to this story was the very “typical” medieval fantasy world.  Knights on horses, Kings, Queens, a sorceress, and throw in a few faeries and a centaur for good measure.  Simplicity.  I really liked it.  I read another beta with a similar world, but he threw in these outrageous sci-fi-like creatures that they had to battle, which seemed very out-of genre to me, and ruined an otherwise GREAT story.  The Gold Mine Manuscript has a great plot and characters that I can relate to, and it is simple and enjoyable.

But… the publisher wants more.

The author has discussed a few ideas with me.  Some seem great.  Some make me cringe.  I’ve only read the “Act One” revise, so I have not seen too much of the fantasy world yet (Act One takes place in Tennessee)  I don’t know what the author is going to do.  I am holding my breath and biting my nails.  I have the utmost confidence in the author’s ability.  I just hope that the simple pure nature of the original story does not get lost in reaching for “uniqueness”

For the rest of us…

How do you know if you story is unique?  I think mine is, but I don’t really know.  I haven’t read anything like mine, but that doesn’t mean it’s not out there.

I might find a publisher who thinks my ancient flute buildings, next to old Renaissance architecture, next to newer modern buildings is weird.  Will I change it?  Dunno.  They might find it weird that my characters walk everywhere and don’t use cars, but they travel on space ships to other planets.  Will I change it?  I see no reason to.

There is nothing drastically bizarre about my setting.  Yes, it takes place in another galaxy, but the setting is not what my story is about.  It is about the characters and interpersonal relationships.  It is about a boy who has gads of magical power, but is so afraid of it, that he uses the power to erase his memory.  Unfortunately for him, he still needs to save the world.  I see no need to distract from my story by making it “freaky” so it seems “different”.

Is your story unique?

This is a tricky question.  You won’t really know until you get your manuscript into the hands of a publisher if your story is unique in their eyes.

All I can say is, good luck.

Jennifer Eaton

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ROW 80 Update for 11-27-2011

Posted on November 27, 2011 | 15 comments

For the first time, I can actually say I completed ALL MY GOALS for this week… probably because I only gave myself one really nasty one… just to make sure I did it.

#1:  I finished the ever-elusive “Matt” scene.  This is one of those “big bang” scenes that really needs to work and read well.  It was originally too long – almost 7,000 words.  Now it is trim and lean and cut to 850 words.  I took out all the detail that everyone was finding confusing, and went just for the action.  I think it works much better.

#2:  I wanted to put a big dent in Jennifer Hubbard’s THE SECRET YEAR.   I am happy to say that I finished it.  I am trying to decide if I should do some kind of review on it or not… especially since it is the first book that I’ve actually managed to read cover to cover and not start something else in a long time.  Thinking about it.

I’m going to leave it simple again this week, maily because I am so derned close to being done with my novel, and also, I own a toy store, and you can guess how busy my weekend was.

So, here it goes…

1.  Do one final read for flow and readability.

2.  Save the final draft as a “definitive vision” (Maybe even get a copy printed for myself)

3:  Go back and edit another 4,000 words (The part about Matt cutting his hair) — it’s not as stupid as it sounds, really it’s not.  I love this scene!

At the moment, I am down to 110,000 words.  I had a soft goal to get it down to 100,000.  After the edit above, I expect to be around 106,000 which is pretty close.  Can I cut 6,000?  Maybe, but I’m not sure I want to.  The “Matt’s Hair” scene is the last part in the novel that doesn’t directly push the plot forward.  I think if I cut anything else, it will definitely be lacking.

Happy Row-ing!

Jennifer Eaton

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Row 80 Check-in 11-06-11

Posted on November 6, 2011 | 15 comments

I really don’t feel accomplished this week as far as writing goes.  There was just too much going on.  Soccer season is winding down, but Dog Training is starting, and my two youngest sons signed up for Wrestling…. There goes three hours on Tuesday, Three hours on Thursday, and an hour and a half on Wednesdays.  Saturdays are still shot with Soccer until Thanksgiving, and my oldest might be showing Chloe in a dog show in January, too, which means Show Training on top of basics.  Ugh.

I really want to finish HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT by the end of the year, but unless I take off from work to do it (which I might—I have the time) I’m not sure I will make it.

What I did get done, though, is decent… I just didn’t get to it all.

I went to the NJ Writers Q & A.  Check out my Blog post for Wednesday if you want to hear about it.  That was GREAT.  I was also pleased that a few of the authors stopped by my blog and posted. I also got a few personal emails from them.  Very nice.

I cut 1,687 words from my novel, and noted another 4,372 that I can cut – some inspired by my talks with the authors on Tuesday, and their emails afterwards.

For those of you who have done a beta-read… the scenes being cut are the two scenes in Harris’s mother’s POV (Mommy meltdowns).  Matt meeting the mercenary, and the whole cutting his hair scene (he will have short hair from the beginning, now) and Harris talking to Daniel Hyelven after he hurts the girl in the alley.  I am on page 300, so there are 100 pages to go in this sweep.  This will get me down to 113,000, but I might add words when I re-write a chapter that started with a conversation about Matt’s hair.  (That sounds really silly taken out of context.)

I did not start that beta read I have been sitting on (sorry again, “J”)

I did not exercise – unless you want to count Trick or Treating, which was an hour of walking

I did not keep to my blog schedule

I’m not sure if I am going to be able to keep posting ROW 80 twice a week.
It think it’s too much, and detracts from the point of my blog.  I don’t think  a Wednesday check-in is really all that helpful for me.  So… Sundays I will give my results, and my goals for the next week.  This way, I can get back on my twice a week blog schedule, plus a Sunday ROW80, and I won’t be under as much pressure.

1.    Two regular blog posts (a Manuscript Red-line post, and maybe a writer’s advice post from the Q&A session)

2.    Cut 4,372 words from my novel

3.    Insert the new “Stuck in a Closet” beginning (which I just remembered has more words than the current beginning.  UGH!)

4.    Decide whether or not to cut the scene where Magellan gets
tutored by the King.

Happy ROWing!

Jennifer Eaton

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