Lesson Six from the Gold Mine Manuscript Red Line: Watch that Voice!

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?

When you are writing, especially if you are writing YA or middle grade, watch the voice. In the Gold Mine Manuscript, I know I mentioned the voice when I was beta reading, but my BP said her teenager read it and said it was okay, so I figured maybe I was just behind the times.

In this novel, the Main Character is supposed to be 15, but my brain just made him 17 (no matter what the novel was telling me).  Do you know why?  I believe it was the voice.  I mentioned it, but my BP seemed comfortable with it, so we moved on.

I was also having the same struggle in my own novel, and was on an up and down roller coaster with my own young character’s voice, so I know how hard a young boy’s voice can be, so I knew I was no expert.

You know what the publisher marked up over and over again in the gold mine manuscript?  THE VOICE.

They mentioned that teenagers answer in quips and half-completed sentences.  I have to admit, my middle graders do the same thing. No perfect grammar for them.  Simplicity is the key.  “Yeah” instead of “yes” is more realistic than a full sentence.

I’m wondering about my own novel on this one.  My kid is from another planet, and grows up under the tutelage of a King.  I don’t want him saying “yeah”, but I don’t want a publisher calling me on it, either.  Maybe a few of the other characters can slip on their grammar a little.  Hmmmm…

My suggestion:  If you are writing for teens, get several teens to read it and ask them to be honest.  Same goes for Middle Grade.  This publisher actually had a teenager read the manuscript to make sure of the voice, and the teen said it didn’t sound real and they didn’t get the words she was using.  Yikes.

Moral of the blog:

If anyone reads your manuscript and tells you that there are possible problems with the voice, I’d take them seriously… ask a few more people to read it.  Drop it on a web site (I like Nathan Bransford’s site).  Get as many opinions as you can.
In the end, you still might not end up okay.  (To be honest, my five-year old drops bonus S.A.T. words all the time, so if I wrote his voice for-real, this publisher would red-line it—so who knows?)

There are a lot of things I’ve not changed about my manuscript that people have mentioned, but voice is one that I have always paid attention to.  If one person mentions something, I may tweak just a little, but if a few people mention it, I tweak a lot.  There is still a possibility that my MC may age a few years in the opening scene, just because of voice issues.

Don’t fall in love with your characters so much that you cannot recognize that their voice is all-wrong.

6 responses to “Lesson Six from the Gold Mine Manuscript Red Line: Watch that Voice!

  1. Pingback: Lesson Thirty from a Manuscript Red Line: Finale! Summing it all up | Jennifer M Eaton

  2. Awesome series, (yes I am reading it in one day.) I always talk to myself too, which I belive is okay. It’s okay to answer yourself too, just when you say, “Uhh?” it is time to edit. I like 1st person POV, even in the books I read, but I never stick with it and always change up on the last edit.

    • Changing out of the first person can’t be fun. You should try to write in whichever POV you want to keep the story in (can be multiple) It will save you a lot of editing later.

  3. I once got the advice to read my characters out loud. For each scene focus on one character and try acting out the role. You can do this for a scene for each character, and you’ll start to hear the voice. If you stumble over what the character is saying, then maybe the sentence is awkward. I like to do that before I get someone else to read it. Better yet, if you can get someone to read it out loud to you. But be careful. This is very stressful – at least for me anyway.
    Your tips are great and are helping me think about what I’m writing. Thanks.

  4. Great advice and well taken! Learning the hard way, one publisher/editor/agent at a time. 🙂