Write a Story with Me – Part 13 with Kai Damian – Laser guns? and WHAAAAT?

Here’s part thirteen, also known as HOLY FREAKING COW!

Dang, Kai.  Bring it girlfriend.

Now this is getting interesting.  Glad I’m not next!

“Can’t find anything wrong with her,” said the doctor after prodding and probing Marci’s frail body with a series of medigadgets. Behind him, Marci’s parents watched their daughter lie unconscious, her breath so shallow that they could have sworn no air was reaching her lungs.

“Then why isn’t she waking up?” Marci’s father asked. His wife broke into sobs as she sat next to her daughter and caressed her frozen cheek.

With trembling hands, the doctor packed his medigadgets away. “I’m sorry Protector Sumner, I wish I had an answer for you.” He watched Marci for a few moments, a wave of anguish washing over his face, then finally said, “Let’s give her twenty-four hours, and if she doesn’t wake up, we’ll take her in.”

“No, you can’t take her in, I won’t let you—”

“Natalia, please,” Marci’s father said, ending his wife’s lament with an icy stare. She lowered her gaze back on her daughter, silently acknowledging the mistake she almost made: rebel against the Establishment’s Rules under one of its servants’ eyes.

Nobody can tell the Establishment what they can and cannot do. What they can take. When they can take it. Even if the taken is someone’s child. It was a Rule solemnly recorded in the Tablet of Truth, which no planetary raider had ever defied.

Marci’s father thanked the doctor and showed him out, then rushed back to his daughter’s room.

“I’m sorry, my love,” he said gently, and kissed his wife’s forehead.

Natalia shook her head and squeezed his hand. “You did the right thing, dear,” she whispered and wiped off another tear. “But we need to bring her back, Yoran, before they can take her. I don’t think I can survive another Recall.” She rose to her feet with a pant, holding her belly with both hands. “I’ll go make some tea, you stay with her and think about our options,” she said and left lifeless Marci alone with her father.

He sat next to Marci and caressed her cheek. “Oh poppet, why won’t you come back?” he whispered and leaned his forehead against his daughter’s cold hand.

“Perhaps I can be of service.” The tiny voice reminded him of the crystal wind chimes hanging outside his daughter’s window. Hand on his laser gun, he turned around.

“What the—” were the only words he had time to utter before the sight of the enemy rendered him speechless. Speechless, but not mindless. Because in that moment, Yoran Sumner knew that the creature before him—the one he had learned to hate since he was a little boy—was about to turn him into a Rule breaker.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine – Vikki Thompson

Part Ten — Susan Rocan mywithershins

Part Eleven — Kate Johnston  AKA 4AMWriter

Part Twelve — Julie Catherine

Part Thirteen — Kai Damian

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Richard Leonard —- TAG!  You are “It”

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11 responses to “Write a Story with Me – Part 13 with Kai Damian – Laser guns? and WHAAAAT?

  1. WOW! Kai certainly brought the tension up a few notches, didn’t she? All I can say is WOW!

  2. This is really good! And maybe someone can write in an explosion for Jennifer! 😀

  3. Jiminy christmas! Love it Kai! 🙂

  4. Thank you Jennifer! I hope that’s a good HOLY FREAKING COW… I went for the sci-fi+fantasy stew special, hence the laser gun. Looking forward to everyone’s comments!
    http://kaidamian.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/lucky-13-where-enemies-become/

  5. Pingback: Lucky 13 — Where Enemies Become… « Kai Damian