Ha! It’s me! Thought you’d rid yourself of me, didn’t you? Well you were wrong!!!!
I sat and twiddled my fingers, patiently waiting my turn, but Jennifer M. Eaton refused to interview me. So now I have tied her up, and taken over her meager, unworthy website.
What? You think the Little Blue Lady from Mars knows not how to run a website? Well, if the scrawny author can do it, why not a formidable Martian like me?
Now where is that instruction manual?
What! Did I hear a snicker? Perhaps there are those of you who do not know my power? I have taken over worlds! This website will be no problem!
However, I am not
completely heartless. Well, I am… but today I am feeling charitable. I realize the destruction of this little domain may poison some against me. So, I will give her one chance.
Do you hear that? One chance!
So, mere driveling humans, you must beg and plead for me to release Jennifer M. Eaton or you may never see her again. Ha Ha!
Oh, you may see posts, but these were pre-programmed. These posts will run out unless I, The Great Little Blue Lady from Mars agrees to set her free!
So, you might ask… What do you need to do to set her free?
Beg! Beg I tell you.
Give me good reasons to set her free! And if no one can come up with a good reason, then I will tire of this endeavor and just blow up her blog with her in it!
Wait, What? Jennifer M. Eaton is rocking in her chair, struggling with her gag. What do you want Jennifer M. Eaton?
Ha! She is afraid no one will want to save her! That’s good! It will give me a reason to explode something!
Wait… what, Jennifer M. Eaton? Oh! She says that she will give a copy of the Make Believe Anthology, her publishing debut, to whoever convinces me not to blow her up.
Ha Ha! She resorts to bribery, knowing that I am more than willing to blow this place up, just for the fun of it!
So, simple humans, start begging. Tell me why I should not blow up Jennifer M. Eaton… and should one of you succeed, I will untie her, and you will get a copy of the Make Believe Anthology for free!
Let the begging begin! I will give you three days to convince me. On Saturday, October 6th, I will make my decision.
So humans, will you beg to have her back, or shall I let the explosions begin?
Your choice.
More places to win (Anthology Buddies):
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Jennifer M Eaton 
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This has been most enjoyable, LITTLEbluelady. I may be an earthling but I am older and wiser than you. Also, I am BIGGER so lay OFF already.
Knowing how Jennifer loves things blowing up, she might not be totally against you blowing her up…except for the fact that she would MISS out on the fireworks–since she’d be dead. So, blue alien gal…have a heart (or whatever ticks your alien clock) and blow something else up instead (a large building might do…or a semi truck. A big pile of fireworks might be fun–that adds some dazzling light to the display). But give Jennifer front row seats to the pyrotechnics, and I’m pretty sure she’ll reward your generosity by writing you into a future book. (Hopefully you speaka Engleesh!)
Look fireworks are fun. Big booms And pretty colors.
But of course I speak English. You’re reading me aren’t you, earthling?
That could just be a mind trick of yours.
Let me start by saying how lovely you look Blue Martian. I beg of you to release Jennifer..a world without her stories will blow up an die. Dust is all that will be left. So, please please please heed my pleas and release her. Thank you…Laura C.
They make such interesting pets. And you?
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Oh my . . . we’ll need her kind for the zombie apocalypse!! Please let her go . . . she’s a nice shiny distraction when the squirrels in my backyard get boring;-)
So, all she’s good for is rodent distraction? Sounds like a vote for explosion to me!
You have to let her go.
Why?
Because I love her.
….and if that doesn’t work, can I at least play with her while she’s tied up?
hehehe
But that would mean loosening her bonds! Another ploy to free her?
Nope….I like the fact that she would be at my mercy. You think you’ve cornered the market on evil? Not a chance littlebluelady.
Umm, I’m not sure if I should ask you to join me… or run for my life.
Well, that all depends on if you want a crazy sociopath as a partner or not. Don’t worry. I’m harmless unless you provoke me. Staring at me makes me angry. Stop looking at me. 😛
Don’t blow her up! She always makes me feel important when she visits my blog!
Ha! Don’t blame me for your inferiority complex HUMAN. This is about taking over the world!
Come to think of it, Jennifer hasn’t visited me much lately. Meh. Go ahead.
Ha ha! One vote for annialation!
Surely that should get me a copy of the book, yes?
Only if I can wrestle one from her scrawny fingers before I blow this place up!
Jennifer! The Blue Gal is over on my blog! Get the h@ll outta there!
And gimmie a book!
Check and MATE!
It’s no secret NASA’s success rate at landing on Mars has climbed exponentially with the last few missions. We’ve got heaps of nasty garbage that we need to get rid of—nuclear waste, biomedical hazards, assorted politicians and so-called entertainers…. Earth audiences would love to see how they would explode on Mars. The countdown’s already begun. Only Jennifer can stop it now….
Politicians? Entertainers? Are any of them cute, because pickings on Mars have been…. Wait! You’re trying to distract me aren’t you? No! No you will not foil my plans with such nonsense! I will conquer all!
Tick, tick, tick, tick….
Okay, let’s see… red wire goes to yellow wire… Hmm… that’s not it…
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ODE TO THE LITTLE BLUE LADY
Blue lady from Mars
Where they do not drive cars
Your beauty is rare
And I do love your hair
I know deep inside
Your heart is quite wide
And it makes me so sad
That you’ve been so bad
You’ve tied up our Jen
Our own little hen
We can’t do without her
I beg you to free her
You can undo the harm
And bring back the calm
Because Jennifer Eaton
Can never be beaten
Sniff. I think I’m going to cry.
Not.
Do you think you can win me over with mere poetry… If that’s what you call THAT.
You’re so cute when you get mean! Love you lil’ ol’ Blue Lady 😉
Old? Who are you calling old, you EARTHLING you!
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If you blow her up, then she won’t be able to write any more stories about blowing things up. It’s really self-defeating when you think about it.
I… Umm… Well… But…
Errrrghhhbhhhh!
What if I told you that it doesn’t matter if I get an ARC of her wonderful anthology? What if I told you that she has a super son who reviews great books and will be devastated if you blow up his Mom. He might even come and beat you up himself – and believe me, he could probably do it! We need Jennifer’s writing advice. We need her to moderate the on-going fantasy Write A Story With Me. We need her to finish her wonderful story where she gets to blow things up! Please, please let her go!
Ha! Sure… Play the kid card why don’t you? Maybe i’ll tied him up, and his little dog too!
MwhahahAhahaha!
You’re from Mars, huh? Been a while, hasn’t it? Your planet is DEAD! Its protective magnetic field is gone, exposing the surface to all sorts of dangerous radiation. Its atmosphere is eroding away at an alarming rate, pummelled by the solar wind. Precious life-giving water hasn’t flowed there for aeons. You can’t go back home. You are stuck here!
However, as you know, we have an advanced planetary exploration program run by various space agencies on our own planet. If you free Jennifer M Eaton immediately, those space agencies will make it a top priority to restore your beloved home planet to its former liveable glory. Jennifer is a such a valued member of the writing community that NASA, ESA and JAXA would not hesitate to assist.
We eagerly await your notification of agreement and the safe release of Jennifer M Eaton,
Sincerely,
The people of Earth.
Lies! Lies I tell you!
Ummm, but maybe I’ll call home just in case.
You might want to release my friend Jennifer. She is no ordinary human. She has a secret identity! Oh yeah, you better let her go. She is the famous “Spider Slayer” and she can kick your butt
Ha! Spider Slayer. Pfft she tied up easily enough.
I know your secret blue lady and if you do not free Jennifer I will expose you and you will never be allowed on Mars again–and I know you must go back to renew your life force every two weeks. This is a warning and if Jennifer is not freed by Saturday, then I will…………..
Gasp! Who told you that?
Dang Internet research!
no one is safe, especially blue ladies from Mars
Oh you think so, do you? I can do things only Jennifer M. Eaton can imagine!
well she does have a good imagination–tell her to send her muse away until you have let her free
But I like the muse. It’s fun to play with. We’re lighting firecrackers together.
naughty naughty!
but… *lip quivers* … she’s my friend!
Ha! Pitiful. Do you think I will fall for your human emotions?
Dear Little Blue Lady from Mars, I BEG OF YOU, grovelling on my weakened and shaking knees, to please untie our Jennifer and set her free! Puny, scrawny author she may be (actually not though, she’s a gorgeous woman – when was the last time you had your eyes checked!), we need her … how else will we find out all her publishing journey secrets? And what about our story? It’s not even near finished yet, and I’ll simply die if we don’t get to finish it and find out what happens just because you’ve got her all tied up. And you wouldn’t want to see me die now, would you? (okay, you would, but that’s beside the point) AND, if you don’t let her go, you’ll never find out what her secret weapon is … you know, the one where you …. hmmm … well, I’m not going to tell you anything else, not until you let her go so she can blow some stuff up for the rest of us – and if you do, then maybe – MAYBE – you’ll get to stick around to find out what she has planned for YOU …. mwahahaha!!!
Hmmmm…. She has a secret weapon that blows things up? Maybe I’ll take a little look around here…
If you don’t free her I will personally digitalise myself, travel through the interwebz, rematerialise at your location and beat the living s**t out of you!
No-one puts Jennifer in a corner … erm … ties her up. (Unless she’s willingly agreed to it, of course. That’s a horse of an entirely different kettle of fish!)
You don’t believe me? … Hm-m … well, all I can say is, “Watch your back, little Blue Lady From Mars! Watch your back!”
Drivel. Drivel I tell you!
Go ahead. Digitalize yourself.
Bring it, earthling!
Earthling? What in the Asteroid Belt makes you think I’m an earthling?
Ahhhh. A kindred spirit? By why is it you stand with the Earthlings?