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I think if I look at this passage one more time I’m gonna puke… so I’m going to make YOU GUYS look at it. This is a scene from “Fire in the Woods” that I’ve edited to death this week. What do you think?
The underbrush shuffled. I gasped as fingers dug into my flesh. My body lifted into the air, and my lungs struggled against an overwhelming pressure against my ribs. The moon sank behind the clouds, darkening the forest and hiding my captor. Held from behind, I struggled and kicked. “Let go!”
I twisted and tugged. My feet dragged across the forest floor as someone pulled me further from David’s shivering form. Another set of arms shot out of the dark and clutched my hands, tying my wrists together with a coarse rope before drawing me into the air.
The pressure against my sides subsided, and I drew in a deep breath. My shoulders burned and screamed from the strain as they maneuvered my hands over a tree branch and hung me like a Christmas ornament. “What are you doing? Let me down!”
I trembled as the cloud cover shifted. The trees, like sharp shadows, seemed to lean towards me, watching. A large broad man walked away, his gait somewhat familiar. A woman adjusted my bindings, her face partially covered by a fuzzy-edged hood.
“What do you want?” I asked.
Her silence hung in the air like a veil. She either didn’t hear me, or didn’t care that I spoke. Sweat ran down my temples as she turned and joined her friend. I writhed in my bindings.
My captors brushed the dirt with their hands before gathering something from the woods, stacking it on the ground.
“Please, let me go. I didn’t do anything.”
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- Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop (itsjennythewren.wordpress.com)