Tag Archives: editing

Lesson Twenty-Eight from a Manuscript Red Line: Very Discreet Point of View Switches

I’ve talked about this before, but the second time might be a charm.  I think a lot of people are having trouble with discreet POV switches.  The big ones… where we pop heads for half a chapter are easy to find.  The one-liners may be harder to spot.

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

Let’s go back to my little flash fiction scene.  Remember Jason and Eric fighting?  Let’s add a line to that.  (In bold)

Jason grunted as his fist swung toward Eric’s face.  Eric tried to dodge, but instead felt the sting of the older boy’s ring cutting into his jaw.  He fell to the floor with a muffled thump, and groaned as he rolled over. 

Jason wiped his chin and laughed.  “I told you to stay down.”

Eric pushed up onto his knees.  “Why, so you can just pummel me?”  He popped up and swung at Jason, but missed.

Jason ducked and swung at the same time.  There was no time for Eric to react.  His head creaked back, and his jaw rattled as he crumpled to the floor.

Jason breathed heavily, mopping the sweat from his brow.  He grunted and chose his words carefully.  “I told you to stay down, idiot.”  He snickered at the pitiful scene before him, and walked away.

There you have a short-one paragraph POV switch.  The scene is in Eric’s POV.  How would Eric know Jason was choosing his words carefully?  How would Eric know he was snickering at how pitiful he looked?  (Remember Peanut butter and Jelly Syndrome?)  Jason could have just remembered a funny joke.  Eric has no idea what he is really thinking.

The reason I used “Chose his words carefully” which might be a little odd in the example above, was because those were the words used in the POV switch in the Gold Mine Manuscript.  We were in character #1’s POV, and then another character “chose his words carefully”.  They flagged it as a POV switch.

Honestly, before reading their comments, I would have read right over this… I have also seen it in published works, but it is a switch in POV.  Do your best to keep an eye out for little things like this.  It will set your novel apart.

Hope this helps!

Lesson Twenty-Six from a Manuscript Red Line: CAPITAL LETTERS

Do you use Capital letters when your character yells?  Do you use them for casting spells?  Do you use them for inner thoughts?

  

Me?   No, Jennifer. 

I would never do such a thing! 

Well, I might… and I have.

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

Amendment:  Hey!  This is my 100th post!  COOL!

I briefly mentioned CAPS in my first post on the Manuscript Red Line. (That was over Five months ago… Wow)  Anyway… here is the explanation.  The publisher said:

“The use of capital letters to show emphasis in a scene is not acceptable.  Especially don’t use it with magic, since JK Rowling did it that way.” (The Gold Mine author used caps as the character cast his spells)  “Come up with something new.  This is the key to fantasy – be unique – try not to do what was already done.”

Don’t shoot the messenger… this is their red-line, not mine.

In my novel, the characters don’t cast spells, but I did catch a few YELLING once in a while in CAPITAL LETTERS.  I got so used to looking at it that I liked it, but I have to admit, it works much better as “Get out!” rather than “GET OUT!”.  I use caps a lot for emphasis in my blog, so they may have wiggled their way into my novel.

For all you spell casters out there:  You can do better than JK Rowling.  She had her idea.  Now you need to come up with yours.  What are you going to come up with that everyone else wants to copy?

Lesson Twenty-Seven from a Manuscript Red Line: Fluidity in Action – How to write a good action scene

An example of a poorly written action scene:

Jason punched Eric in the face.  Eric fell to the floor.  Eric groaned and rolled over.   Jason wiped his chin and laughed.  Eric popped up, and Eric swung at Jason, but missed.  Jason ducked and swung at the same time.  Eric crumpled to the floor.

(Yes, I totally made this paragraph up.)

The publisher’s comment on a similar (but not as poorly written) sceneThis is a very stilted fight scene. It reads action, next action, next action, next action without the fluidity that’s needed for a fight scene.

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?

You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

I have to admit, when I read the action passages in the Gold Mine Manuscript, I had the same comment.  The author was satisfied with the speed of the scenes though, and only made moderate changes.  Not being an expert, I backed off and figured it was just a “style choice”.  Guess not.

This fits in very well with my recent post on “Art of the Conflict”.  This scene is not about dialog, but this is definitely a conflict.  This one needs something inserted to break up the action, rather than action inserted to break up the dialog.

Now, I am not going to put a lot of time into this, since the scene is totally fake.  But let me add a little “art” to make it “flow”.  Fluidity is what they asked for.  Okay, here it goes…

Jason grunted as his fist swung toward Eric’s face.  Eric tried to dodge, but instead felt the sting of the older boy’s ring cutting into his jaw.  He fell to the floor with a muffled thump, and groaned as he rolled over.

Jason wiped his chin and laughed.  “I told you to stay down.”

Eric pushed up onto his knees.  “Why, so you can just pummel me?”  He popped up and swung at Jason, but missed.

Jason ducked and swung at the same time.  There was no time for Eric to react.  His head creaked back, and his jaw rattled as he crumpled to the floor.

Better, huh?  Not perfect by a long shot, but not bad for three minute flash fiction.  Can you feel the difference?  The staccato choppy “This happened-That happened” feel is gone, and the scene “flows”.

Of course, this is a first draft.  In editing, I would have to remove the “ing” word and the telly “felt”.  I would also insert a little emotion when Eric realized he missed, but this is definitely better by far than the first.  The art draws you into the scene.  You experience it, rather than just watching it.

The art of the conflict… If you don’t have it, go get it.

If you want to see a great published example, pick up a copy of  THRONE by Phillip Tucker and open up anywhere in the last hundred pages or so.

I hope this helps to make it more clear!

Lesson Twenty-Three from a Manuscript Red Line: Kindle Syndrome

Does your novel have Kindle Syndrome?

Would you be able to recognize it if it did?

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

I read right over this comment at least five times.  I do not own a kindle, so I didn’t understand what the publisher was saying.  This past weekend, I messed around with my sister’s Kindle.  Now this makes sense.  Let me explain…

The publisher said:  “This is a very long section that takes up two kindle pages of material.  Break it up with action and reaction.”

I believe I’ve already blogged about the overall problem of info dumps that go on too long, but this time when I read this comment, the “Kindle” word jumped out at me.

It would be foolhardy for anyone to think that their novels are going to be read 100 % in printed form.  In this new era, it’s just not feasible.  As we all know, technology has finally taken over the publishing world.

When I beta-read novels, I sometimes blow up the pages and just look at them.  If it looks like a text-book, I know there is a problem.  People want white-space when they read recreationally.  A dense page seems like too much work, right?

Now think about the Kindle (or choose your e-reader)…  What does it look like?  Do you see a full page like in a book?  Unless you are reading on something large, the screen is much smaller than an actual page.  A Kindle reader may press the forward button 2-3 times to get through a printed page of material.  I checked the word count on the section that they were talking about, and it was 230 words.  That’s about one page in a standard book.  If you change the type font and make it larger, there would be even more clicks to your page.

Do you really want your reader to click forward 3-4 times and have them still skimming reading the same description?

This is what I am getting at… The importance of White Space

White space is when you can “see the paper” behind your words.  White space can be achieved by new paragraphs, but it is done most effectively with dialog sequences.  Open up a few novels.  You should be able to see what I mean.  Your novel should not look like a text-book.  If there is dialog, it will look more “interactive”

I know as a reader I like white space.  It makes me feel accomplished.  True, on a kindle you cannot feel yourself getting to the end of a novel.  You might not even know you are at the end until you are there, since there are no page numbers (at least on the one my sister showed me)—so feeling accomplished while reading one must be hard…  But because of this, your reader will be effected EVEN MORE by lack of white space, because it will be so much more dramatic on a kindle screen rather than on paper.

I know a lot of you might not care… but I thought this would be worth mentioning.  We are living in a new world.  We have to consider what your novel will look like on the new media.   One or two long dense paragraphs might be fine once in a while, but make sure your scenes are broken up not only for pacing, but to get some of that “all so important” white space.

Amendment:  Since writing this post, I was given a Kindle Fire by my wonderful husband, and I am now 75% through my first novel.  Now that I am in this “electronic world,” I have to admit that everything I said up above really does apply.  Some of the description in the novel I am reading go on for 5 or more kindle pages of dense text.  The prose is beautiful, and well written, but to be honest I always start skimming somewhere in the middle of the second kindle page, which is far sooner than I would have on paper.

Also, on the Kindle Fire there are no page numbers, but it does tell you “percentage read” so you do see yourself getting to the end.

For me though, it makes the long descriptions even more monotonous because I like to feel accomplished.  I try to read a certain percentage each night, and I don’t know how many pages I have to read to achieve another “percent” read.

Yeah, I’m a nut.  But I am sure I am not alone!  Have mercy on a nutty reader.  Avoid Kindle Syndrome.

Jennifer Eaton

Lesson Twenty-One from a Manuscript Red Line: Common, and Cliché Themes

This one made me laugh.  There is a point in the Gold Mine manuscript where a secondary lead character finds out that someone is his father.  His reaction is “You’re . . . my . . . father?” (minor action element for dramatic effect). “My father?”

What made me laugh is that the publisher said “This immediately bought to mind Star Wars”

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

Now, I actually did not think “Star Wars” when I read it, but there is another element in this story that has since been removed…  My son and I (he also read the manuscript) were talking about this other element, and my husband said:  “She stole that from Star Wars!”  I was thinking it in the back of my head, but he verbalized it very well.

The problem is, Star Wars is not just a story that was written over thirty years ago.  It is a piece of Americana.  There are too many people in the USA, and in the world, who have seen Star Wars… even memorized it.  You simply CANNOT mess with themes like that anymore, unless you are careful.

Now, is this to say that no person will ever find out about questionable parentage again in literature?  No, of course not.  However, you need to be VERY CAREFUL when you do it.  Like this publisher stated in an earlier post… Find the uniqueness in what is not unique.

You need to make this your own.  When they read your tear-jerking scene, they should see only your characters in their minds, not Luke laying on that platform and then falling down the shaft.  If an element has been used before, and notably so, work that scene harder than any other scene.  Make sure, without a doubt, that the element is now YOURS.  Make them forget all about Luke Skywalker.

 

 Jennifer Eaton

Brenda Drake Contest Entry: Can we guess your character’s age?

Brenda Drake’s blog is hosting a contest on your manuscript’s first 250 words.  The contest is open to all genres.  All you need to do is post your first 250 words on your Blog on December 8th so everyone can read and comment.  You cannot tell the title or genre.  Your work needs to stand on its own.

After you get feedback from your followers and other contestants, make any changes you think are necessary, and when you are ready, email your final entry to Brenda by midnight December 10th.

Finalists will be chosen by Brenda and her gang of word lovers, and the three winners will be chosen by Gabriela Lessa, a professional editor and literary agent assistant

The winners get free editing.  Not too shabby.

Without further ado… here’s the beginning of my novel.

Can you guess my characters age?  If you already know how old he is, does it sound right?

*****************************************************************

“I’m not gonna sit here locked in a closet all day.” Magellan pulled away from his mother, leaving his whimpering brothers and sisters clinging to her skirts.

“Magellan, come back here.”

“No. I wanna hear Dad’s speech.” He pressed his cheek against a large crack in the door and closed one eye.  Sconces lit the long stone hallway that lead to the auditorium. “I wish I could see something.”

“Get back mine scum!” A guard threw something against the door, slamming the wood against his face.

“Ouch,” Magellan rubbed his cheek. “Jerk.”

Footsteps clomped away, and his mother exhaled. “Magellan, your father said…”

“I know what he said.” Magellan furled his eyebrows.  “Right before they locked us in here.”  He flicked a bug from the damp stone wall beside him. “I’m not a baby anymore. I want to help.”

He ran his fingers across the locking plate, and jumped as flames flashed across the metal, spinning and swirling around it.  What was that?  Nothing in the room could have made that reflection.  He wrinkled his nose and reached for the lock again, but it fell right into his hand before he could even touch it.

“What the…” The door swung open by itself.  Magellan gasped.  “What’s going on?”

He leaned out, and carefully considered the three guards arguing at the far end of the hallway.

The Goddess must be with me today! he thought.

He placed his hand on the doorframe, and his mother stood.  “Magellan Talbot, don’t you dare!”

Lesson Nineteen from a Manuscript Red Line: Don’t annoy the reader

I giggled when I typed out this heading.  Everyone knows not to annoy their readers, RIGHT?  But can you tell when you might be doing just that?

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

In the Gold Mine Manuscript, before the extraneous POV’s were taken out, the Reader had more information than the Main Character.  The reason this was bad, is that the reader was fully aware of Bad Guy #2, and knew her name.  (Let’s call her Cindy).  So, a hundred or so pages later, when a character starts talking about “Cindy” and the main character says “Who’s Cindy?”  We get that “Duh” feeling followed by a “Been there, done that” when someone explains to him who “Cindy” is.

The publisher said “We need to know what he knows, not what everybody else knows”.

Now in the revise, the Main Character actually witnesses a scene with “Cindy” in it early in the novel.  (although he doesn’t know it’s Cindy yet.)  So, at least he’s seen her and has an idea of who she is.  I haven’t seen how the author works this part out, yet.

The first time I read the passage that the publisher had a problem with, I thought: “I know this already” but I understood the need for another character to tell the MC what was going on.  It was redundant though, and it didn’t feel right.  The new revision, with fewer POVs, and the MC discovering more on his own, should help work around little things like this.

The best thing to do, is not let any one character know more than your Main Character… if it is something that he or she will eventually have to find out.   You don’t want to be in a position of having to bore your reader even for a line or two, while you bring your Main Character up to speed.

Jennifer Eaton

Row 80 12-4-2011 I’ve Been SOOOO Behind!

First of all, I need to start this off with a GREAT BIG  I’m sorry.

I have been so stinking behind this week I can’t stand it!  I feel really bad, because this is an interactive blog, and I’m supposed to COMMENT, but this week, it was just not meant to be.

It started out with a big surprise getting the Versatile Blogger Award (Thanks Again!)  Then, of course being anal as I am, I stressed over it, mulling through all the blogs I like and making sure I picked out the good ones that were also visually appealing and friendly.  Wow… I probably over thought that.

Honestly, I have not even had a chance to tell everyone who I nominated, although it looks like a few of you found out already. Congrats, guys!

Then, my computer goes and dies and holds a month’s worth of work for hostage.  See my post on freezing my computer.  It actually worked, and it is working absolutely fine now… too funny.

On the writing front, I wanted to finish the final read of my novel this week, and I came pretty close, but losing my computer for a day really put me behind, as well as a minor medical problem that lost another day.  The Holiday selling season has taken up a lot of my time at night, too.  So my next few weeks may be a bit of a struggle as well.

The good this is that I was able to hold to my blog schedule (only one day behind on “Gold Mine” due to my frozen computer)

I was able to read 85 percent of my novel prepping it for the final beta read round.

I also made a decision on the Matt’s hair chapters.  Guess what?  They stay.  Sorry.  What I figured out is that totaling it all up, this chapter and the references were only 2,000 words (not 4,000 like I originally thought)  The big problem is, if I take them out, I will need to insert something else, because there are three dream sequences that are broken up by those scenes.  So… Why cut 2,000 words that work to add another 2,000 words to make the story flow well?  I know someone will say that this scene does not drive the plot of this novel, but it does drive the plot of the series.

Deep down, I know that some editor is probably going to flag this theme, but for now, Matt is going to cut his cog-biting hair!

I guess the same as last week, minus the cuts.  With all that is going on right now I just want to finish reading, and hopefully give that blessed “The End” marker on my final draft so I can get it out to some beta-readers.  (One has a head start and is around half-way through)

On December 8th you’ll be seeing my entry post for Brenda Drake’s Can we guess your character’s age contest.  I never met a contest I didn’t like!

Oh Yeah!  I also need to let the rest of the people who haven’t found out yet that I nominated them for Versatile Blogger!

Ugh!  I hate being behind!

Jennifer Eaton

Versatile Blogger Award

I’ve been given a Versatile Blogger Award

Wow, my first award.  How cool.

The Versatile Blogger Award is a means for bloggers to support each other, and recognize great, versatile, and helpful blogs.

Last week, I was added to the list by Derek Berry of Word Salad.  Derek Blogs about different kinds of lettuce, and the best dressings to go with them.  Well, not really… but just give him time.  He’ll get to it.  Please check out his site.  And thanks, Derek for choosing me!

I don’t know how versatile I am.  I’m mainly writing to help others… it’s just in my nature.  I’m all warm and fuzzy that this blog has caught on so quickly, and I have so many followers.  It’s kind of humbling… Thanks, guys.

So, the details:  In accepting this Grand Honor, I need to do a few things.

#1:  I need to nominate 15 other blogs for this dubious honor.  (And let them know they were chosen)

#2:  I need to expose share 7 facts that most people don’t know about me.  Yikes.

I really want to think over those 15 Blog sites.  A few of them are no-brainers… the ones I enjoy and hop to frequently.  I’m trying to figure out if I have 15 great ones, though.  I don’t want to pick just anyone.  I want to think over the really good ones. (Sorry, I’m anal that way)

Hmmmmm.  I guess let’s start with me…

1.        I own a show dog that’s worth more than most people’s first cars.  Pretty weird for me since up until 8 months or so ago I was a sworn “Pound Dog” person.

2.        I love to play with my kids.  Especially in public.  Only a parent can get away with running through a field pretending to be an air-plane, or can go to one of those Blow-Up Jump Zone places, and scale up the walls and go down those giant slides, or jump around in a bounce-house.  I feel sorry for all those parents that just sit there and watch.  PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS.  What, are you afraid of what you look like?  Who cares!  Have fun!  Before you know it, they’ll be seventeen and not want anything to do with you!

3.        I graduated in the top 5 of my High School class (I think, it was a long time ago) and I graduated with Honors from College (English, Communications, and Mass Media)  Yeah, I’m a word geek.

4.        My hobbies are Swimming, Hiking, and Writing.  Nothing’s more relaxing than a hike through the woods.  The other day, my kids and I found a dinosaur nest!  You’ll never know where your imagination can bring you in the wilderness.

5.        I used to paint Animation Cells (Like in the Disney Store) but I haven’t picked up a paintbrush in 11 years, since my first son was born.

6.        I hate unnecessary cursing, in real life… and in novels.  The F-bomb is not an adjective, people!  I also hate it when people mess with the English Language.  Whoever put “ain’t” in the dictionary should be shot.

7.        I’m shy.  Yeah, really I am.  Well, maybe not totally shy.  I’m not afraid of people, I’m just the worst conversationalist in the world.  Problem is, there is no one in a 10 mile radius that has the same interests as me, so I’m helplessly lost when people start talking about football (or any other sport) or when they go on about how many different medications they are taking for this many ailments.  Ugh!  Now, Adjectives and Adverbs…THERE’s a fun conversation!  Heck, I’ll even talk about music if you like what I like (unlikely) or hiking.   Anything FUN.  Absolutely no-one wants to talk about writing.  Thanks goodness for my writer’s group! (Which I have to drive a half-hour to get to—Ugh)

Well, there you go.  I expounded a little, so you learned more than you probably wanted to know.  I should have made it short and sweet, but hey, I’m a rebel.  I used to have pink hair.  OOPS!  Now you know eight things!

Okay, now the 15 Versatile Blogger Nominees.  Some of these people may have been nominated before.  I didn’t research.  These are just my favorites.  A few of them are professionals, so maybe they shouldn’t be included… but their blogs are so cotton-picking good that I couldn’t help but mention them.

My Versatile Blogger Choices

1.        Nathan Bransford-This is the first site I found, and what a GREAT resource for writers.  If you have not been there, stop now and shoot over.  I found all my current beta-partners there.  It’s a great, friendly group of writers.  I unfortunately have not been there in a few months.  Time constraints and all, but I can always find something interesting in the forums. Although I have not navigated there, I read his blog (it’s emailed to me) all the time.

2.        Brenda Drake-I love her site.  She always has great contests, and she fashions them to make you branch out and read other blogs.  Nicely done, Brenda.

3.        Natalie Hartford:  I came across Natalie through Row80.  I really enjoy her end of the week reviews of great stuff that’s happened in other people’s blogs.  With my schedule, it’s easy to miss the “good stuff”.  I can trust Natalie to let me know where it is. (and I’m always tickled when I’m included in her line-up)

4.        Liza Kane-Nice, down to earth writing.  She is very sincere, and always a nice read.  If you’re having a bad day, click on over and read Liza.  She’s better than aspirin.

5.        Jenny Keller Ford-[[DISCLAIMER-She is one of my Beta Partners]]- but reading her blog pushed me to start my own.  She also has great links to many writers’ Web Sites in her navigation bars.  She is about to hit 10,000 reads, which blows my mind.

6.        Gina Carey-Gina is an aspiring author who blogs about whatever comes to mind.  She is very open, and I like her unassuming, “real” writing style.  She is a new blogger… She’s only been around for about four months but she digs in like a pro.

7.        Kristina Stanley– Here’s a lady who can keep a focus.  She’s out on a sailboat in the middle of the ocean for months, and manages to stop at a port once in a while to blog.  She has a dog on board with her, which I find amazing.  I wish I could take off for months at a time.  Can you imagine writing your novel out in the middle of the ocean?  If you like writing and boats, check out “Writing and Cruising Lifestyle”

8.        Kait Nolan-I love Kait’s header.  It’s what we all want when we can afford professional artwork.  Kait mixes personal life with some anecdotes we can all relate to as writers.  She also has a novel out there right now, and I love it when she gets excited when she gets a great review.

9.        Row80-This is actually also Kait Nolan.  Kait created Row80… and what a great idea!  I for one, am not an avid fan of NANO.  Row 80 lets you make your own goals, and then you are accountable to other “Rowers”.  Just making me write down my goals weekly has pushed me to “get it done”.   And I also have found some other great writers out there, and doubled the number of blogs I follow.  Kudos, Kait!

10.     Robin Weeks-I met Robin (in the cyber-world) a week after I started Blogging.  She was the only one who commented on my first contest entry.  She’s very nice, and likes to help other writers.  Also, like me, she’s never met a contest she didn’t like.  She’s also brave enough to post pictures of herself when she has the flu.  Yikes!

11.     Kristen Lamb – I love her sense of humor.  She has a lot of great stuff in her blog, and she presents it in a way that anyone can relate to… and she’s published, so she has credentials behind her.  Kudos to her for not turning the other cheek and moving on.  She is still blogging for us all to enjoy.

12.     Marji Laine:  I like Marji’s outlook, and openness about things people are afraid to talk about.  Her blog is nice, especially the pictures she digs up for each post.  It really brings her words alive.  Kudos, Marji!

13.     Rachelle Gardner-This blog is especially great because she’s an agent.  Who better to take advice from than your target audience?  I love her post on what not to do when you’re querying.—a subject dear to my heart right now as I’m trudging through my own.  This is a blog I read all the time.

14.     Gloria Richard-Gloria is a hoot.  If you read the comments on my blog, you’ll see Gloria here all the time.  She’s lively and fun, and she has great posts on her blog to help people struggling through the evasive worlds of Twitter and Facebook and stuff like that.  I’m all about words, but marketing?  Thanks, Gloria… I’ll take all the help I can get.

15.     Jane Friedman – Advice on just about anything.  She’s a professor and speaker (so says her blog) and it shows.  A lot of great info to dig your teeth into.

Well, there you have it… my fifteen nominees.  Please take some time and visit the ones that you haven’t been to before.  These are all great writers, and worth the “click”

And thanks for following along with me here!

Jennifer Eaton

Lesson Eighteen from a Manuscript Red Line:What makes your story Unique?

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?  You can also click “Rant Worthy Topics” in my right navigation bar.  Choose “Gold Mine Manuscript” to see all the lessons to date.

This one might be tough, and was the subject of a one-hour conversation between the author and I as we tried to figure out how to do it.

The Publisher said that the story reminded them of Percy Jackson, and the world seemed too much like the Lord of the Rings.  Their comment was that they understood that not all plots are unique, but they want their authors to take what is not unique, and make it unique. They wanted to know what the author could offer in this world that has not already been done, and “why were people on horses and not in cars” (since the story does not take place in the past)

Wow.  Tough one.

One of the things that initially drew me to this story was the very “typical” medieval fantasy world.  Knights on horses, Kings, Queens, a sorceress, and throw in a few faeries and a centaur for good measure.  Simplicity.  I really liked it.  I read another beta with a similar world, but he threw in these outrageous sci-fi-like creatures that they had to battle, which seemed very out-of genre to me, and ruined an otherwise GREAT story.  The Gold Mine Manuscript has a great plot and characters that I can relate to, and it is simple and enjoyable.

But… the publisher wants more.

The author has discussed a few ideas with me.  Some seem great.  Some make me cringe.  I’ve only read the “Act One” revise, so I have not seen too much of the fantasy world yet (Act One takes place in Tennessee)  I don’t know what the author is going to do.  I am holding my breath and biting my nails.  I have the utmost confidence in the author’s ability.  I just hope that the simple pure nature of the original story does not get lost in reaching for “uniqueness”

For the rest of us…

How do you know if you story is unique?  I think mine is, but I don’t really know.  I haven’t read anything like mine, but that doesn’t mean it’s not out there.

I might find a publisher who thinks my ancient flute buildings, next to old Renaissance architecture, next to newer modern buildings is weird.  Will I change it?  Dunno.  They might find it weird that my characters walk everywhere and don’t use cars, but they travel on space ships to other planets.  Will I change it?  I see no reason to.

There is nothing drastically bizarre about my setting.  Yes, it takes place in another galaxy, but the setting is not what my story is about.  It is about the characters and interpersonal relationships.  It is about a boy who has gads of magical power, but is so afraid of it, that he uses the power to erase his memory.  Unfortunately for him, he still needs to save the world.  I see no need to distract from my story by making it “freaky” so it seems “different”.

Is your story unique?

This is a tricky question.  You won’t really know until you get your manuscript into the hands of a publisher if your story is unique in their eyes.

All I can say is, good luck.

Jennifer Eaton