In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued. Then everyone hops around to critique others. Don’t have a post of your own? We’d love a critique anyway! And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)
Okay… Here’s mine. This is the first 250-ish words of The First Day of the New Tomorrow. This is very fresh writing. I’m only about five pages into the story. This is a Young Adult Urban Fantasy.
There just wasn’t enough cover-up in the world. Maya blended in the last dab, concealing the tenth new blemish this week, and it was only Thursday. In her next life, she’d be a Bavarian princess with perfect skin. Yeah. That’d be good.
She slipped on her bifocals and brushed a few of her dark bangs over the more hideous zits on her forehead and took stock. The acne she could cover up, but the ugly glasses?
“I wish I didn’t have to wear these stupid things,” she told her reflection. It smirked. Even her reflection thought she looked like a geek. Great.
Maya spun and headed for the door, but banged her head dead center on the doorframe. The world blurred around her, and she grabbed the wall for support. “Owe.” Her hand shot to her forehead. Everything still seemed to be attached.
Blinking, she tried to focus. On all sides, a fuzzy halo bent and distorted the world into a crazy Picasso painting. Nauseous, she closed her eyes and slid to the floor.
She couldn’t be sick. She had to go to school today. She’d studied her butt off last night and refused to miss that stinking History test.
Maya removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. Blinking hard, she stared at the toilet bowl until it came into perfect focus. He stomach settled. Better. Whew! She slipped on her glasses and tried to stand, but the fuzzy haze came back.
“What the…” She grabbed the counter and pulled off her glasses.
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