Tag Archives: Hosts

Critique Blog Hop – Page Three of my new novel “Optimal Red”

Sunday_SnippetsI’ve been quite remiss about Sunday Snippets recently.  I’m sorry. 😦

I’ve been in an editing frenzy finishing my novel Fire in the Woods (This week I will start working on the query. Yay!)

I’ve also been doing edits for my publisher for Paper Wishes.

I haven’t gone back to think about Henry at all, and it will probably be a little while before I get there.  But in the mean time, here is the next page from Optimal Red.

As a refresher, Henry just left his house to go meet his soon to be wife.  His Mom prods him to make sure the new Misses gets pregnant tonight.  As Henry walks, he remembers his recently deceased father.  Here’s the next page!

Enjoy!__-)

As Henry approached the lifts, a woman with sandy blonde hair stood from her desk and greeted him with a brilliant smile.  “Good morning, Sir.” She held out a smoky glass pad.  “Identification, please.”

Henry reluctantly placed his hand on the panel.  Before today, he’d been considered a minor, and one of his parents would have given their identification.  He’d never placed his own palm on one of the devices.  A tone sounded, and he drew his fingers back.

“Happy birthday, Sir,” The woman said. “One moment please, and I will fetch a lift to Sigma Central.” Her fingers tapped gracefully across her console.

“Do you know what I should do when I get there?”

“There will be another guide to meet you when you step out.  No worries, Sir.”

The large silver doors behind her split apart, revealing a small square room encased in silver and glass, not much larger than a lavatory. His footsteps created an echo as he strode inside.

Trepidation fluttered within Henry’s chest as the doors closed behind him.  What would happen? Would the walls move? Should he touch one of the buttons?

The floor seemed to fall out from beneath him.  He cried out as he grabbed the wall with one hand, the other reaching for his stomach as is muscles bottomed out. He whirled in the car, and jumped away from the glass window as he passed down through an open area of tall trees and plants.  The room expanded beyond his field of vision, and then disappeared as he fell into another cement expanse.

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The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

Note:  Those who have not been participating have been removed to save on critiquer’s “click” time.

http://mermaidssinging.wordpress.com/

http://caitlinsternwrites.wordpress.com/

http://ileandrayoung.com

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

https://jennifermeaton.com/

http://richardleonard.wordpress.com

http://jordannaeast.com

http://itsjennythewren.wordpress.com/

http://wehrismypen.wordpress.com

http://jlroeder.wordpress.com

http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com/

http://ashortaday.wordpress.com

http://mandyevebarnett.com/

http://www.michellezieglerauthor.com

http://joeowensblog.wordpress.com/

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Ugh! What a week coming up! And Sunday Snippets Blog Hop

Hey guys, I am bowing out of the Sunday Snippets Blog hop this week because I am piled high with tax paperwork, and I have some pesky deadlines to deal with… All that means I won’t have time to hop around anyone’s sites to critique this week.

Sorry_-(

But that doesn’t mean everyone else can’t play.  The list is below.

Have a ball, and I’ll see you next week!

swish swivel squiggle 2

The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

Note:  Those who have not been participating have been removed to save on critiquer’s “click” time.

http://mermaidssinging.wordpress.com/

http://caitlinsternwrites.wordpress.com/

http://ileandrayoung.com

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

https://jennifermeaton.com/

http://richardleonard.wordpress.com

http://jordannaeast.com

http://itsjennythewren.wordpress.com/

http://wehrismypen.wordpress.com

http://jlroeder.wordpress.com

http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com/

http://ashortaday.wordpress.com

Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

Sunday_SnippetsOh Yeah!  It’s the  Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued.  Then everyone hops around to critique others.  Don’t have a post of your own?  We’d love a critique anyway!  And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)

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Okay… Here’s mine.  This is the extremely newly revised first 250-ish words of my Young Adult Urban Fantasy “Fire in the Woods.”   My goal is to start submitting this to publishers within the next month, so I need these page to really shine!

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The bed rumbled beneath me as the shrill scream of jet engines ruined a perfectly good daydream.  “Dad!  The stinking Air Force is flying over the houses again!” I turned up the volume on my MP3 player, closed my eyes and lost myself in musical bliss—until my pink earphones popped out of my ears.

“I said, what do you expect me to do about it.” Dad dropped the earbuds on my lap and folded his way-too muscular arms.

“I don’t know.  You’re the Army, aren’t you?  Go invade them or something.”

His lips set as his eyebrows rose, twitching the spikey hairs where a normal person’s bangs would be.  “Invade them?”

“I don’t know.  Do something.  It’s annoying.”

A smile crossed his lips.  “How about we…”

The room rattled around us as the engines of another plane throttled overhead, followed by another. Dad crouched as if ducking, his six-foot body instantly folding with military precision.

I pulled my pillow tightly to my thin frame.  “What…”

“Shhh.” His hand shot out, silencing me instantly as a rattling resonance echoed through my open window.  “That sounds like…”  His eyes widened.  “Jess, get down!”

A huge boom throttled my ears, barraging my mind with an infestation of sound.  Dad’s hand gripped my arm, pulling me to the floor before he shielded my body with his own.

The ground shook, and a soda can shimmied off my dresser, smashing to the floor and fizzling all over the carpet.  I slammed my palms over my ears, cringing as the explosion quaked the walls around us.

swish swivel squiggle 2

The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

http://mermaidssinging.wordpress.com/

http://caitlinsternwrites.wordpress.com/

http://ileandrayoung.com

http://wyrmflight.wordpress.com/

http://www.mandyevebarnett.com

http://womanbitesdog.wordpress.com/

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

https://jennifermeaton.com/

http://richardleonard.wordpress.com

http://jordannaeast.com

http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com

http://wehrismypen.wordpress.com

http://writerscrash.blogspot.co.uk/

http://itsjennythewren.wordpress.com

Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

Sunday_SnippetsOh Yeah!  It’s the very first Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued.  Then everyone hops around to critique others.  Don’t have a post of your own?  We’d love a critique anyway!  And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)

swish swivel squiggle 2

Okay… Here’s mine.  This is the first 250-ish words of The First Day of the New Tomorrow.  This is very fresh writing.  I’m only about five pages into the story.  This is a Young Adult Urban Fantasy.

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There just wasn’t enough cover-up in the world. Maya blended in the last dab, concealing the tenth new blemish this week, and it was only Thursday. In her next life, she’d be a Bavarian princess with perfect skin.  Yeah.  That’d be good.

She slipped on her bifocals and brushed a few of her dark bangs over the more hideous zits on her forehead and took stock.  The acne she could cover up, but the ugly glasses?

“I wish I didn’t have to wear these stupid things,” she told her reflection.  It smirked.  Even her reflection thought she looked like a geek.  Great.

Maya spun and headed for the door, but banged her head dead center on the doorframe.  The world blurred around her, and she grabbed the wall for support. “Owe.” Her hand shot to her forehead.  Everything still seemed to be attached.

Blinking, she tried to focus.  On all sides, a fuzzy halo bent and distorted the world into a crazy Picasso painting.  Nauseous, she closed her eyes and slid to the floor.

She couldn’t be sick.  She had to go to school today.  She’d studied her butt off last night and refused to miss that stinking History test.

Maya removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. Blinking hard, she stared at the toilet bowl until it came into perfect focus. He stomach settled.  Better.  Whew! She slipped on her glasses and tried to stand, but the fuzzy haze came back.

“What the…” She grabbed the counter and pulled off her glasses.

swish swivel squiggle 2

The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

http://mermaidssinging.wordpress.com/

http://caitlinsternwrites.wordpress.com/

http://ileandrayoung.com

http://wyrmflight.wordpress.com/

http://www.mandyevebarnett.com

http://womanbitesdog.wordpress.com/

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

https://jennifermeaton.com/

http://richardleonard.wordpress.com

http://jordannaeast.com

http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com

http://writerscrash.blogspot.com/2013/01/critique-blog-hop.html?showComment=1359314347792#c7304398839545720473

JenniFer_EatonF

What’s in your earphones? It’s Release Day! “For the Love of Christmas”

“Write a Story with me” will be back December 25th  Cause now….

Let me tell you… when I made a bold statement last New Years that I would be published this year.. I NEVER IMAGINED I would have back-to-back release dates in December!

Total Awesomeness!

So, What’s in your earphones? What inspires you, and where do your musical tastes come from?

Stop on over to Nicky Well’s website and let’s chat about it. I’m guest blogging over there and ready to have a little fun!

This is stop #1 of the “For the Love of Christmas” blog tour.

Come on!  Let’s go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Click me to space warp to the musical side!

Nicky’s Website