It’s the Sunday Snippets
Critique Blog Hop!
In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued. Then everyone hops around to critique others. Don’t have a post of your own? We’d love a critique anyway! And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)
Here we have the second 250 words of my new novel Optimal Red, which is the sequel to LAST WINTER RED from the Make Believe Anthology.
Like the first set, this has not been proofed. I have not gone back to it since I first wrote it, so slash away! What’s missing? What do I need to expand upon? Are you connecting with the characters?
Henry took a deep breath and took in the room around him. How long would it be before he would see this room again, before he’d see his mother and siblings again? Weeks? Months?
A stiff jerk tested his posture as his mother gave a final tug on his shirt and plastered it against his waist. “There. Your wife will be pleased.”
He brushed his lips against her forehead. “I will make you proud, mother.”
She nodded, walking him to the door. “Be sure that you do.”
The stark gray hallways echoed with his solitary footsteps. Any other day he would have walked toward the right, to the common rooms and study areas. Only once before had he walked to the left, taking the long gray hallway toward the unknown. It had been to see off his father when he’d been asked to work in the agricultural center—the last day they’d seen before news of the terrible accident.
As Henry approached the lifts, a woman with sandy blonde hair stood from her desk and greeted him with a brilliant smile. “Good morning, Sir.” She held out a smoky glass pad. “Identification, please.”
Henry reluctantly placed his hand on the pad. Before today, he’d been considered a minor, and one of his parents gave their identification. He’d never placed his own palm on one of the devices. A tone sounded, and he drew his hand back.
“Happy birthday, Sir,” The woman said. “One moment please, and I will fetch a car to Sigma Central.”
“Do you know what I should do when I get there?”
“There will be another guide to meet you when you step out. No worries, Sir.”
The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!
Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list. The more the merrier!
Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!
Note: Those who have not been participating have been removed.
- Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop ~ Feb 24 (jlroeder.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop: 250 Words of my New Short Story, A PINCH OF SUGAR (3/31) (joeowensblog.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop ~ March 17 (jlroeder.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop: The First 250 Words of my New Short Story, A PINCH OF SUGAR (joeowensblog.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Snippets -Critique Blog Hop #2 (michellezieglerauthor.com)
- Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop ~ March 3 (jlroeder.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Snippets -Critique Blog Hop #1 (michellezieglerauthor.com)
- Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop #4 (itsjennythewren.wordpress.com)