Tag Archives: 18 things

Am I a Real Person? I’m not sure.

Hmm, am I a real person?

Hmmm.__Wait_a_minute_00000

*Please wait while I hum the Jeopardy theme song in my head for 30 seconds while flying around the room on my unicorn*

Project1

The answer is . . . no.

I am a robot: eat, sleep, write, eat, sleep, write, eat, sleep, write.

Okay, SERIOUS MODE: On.

Hello, I’m Jamie Ayres, and the truth is, I wish I were a robot. I’m more real than I care to admit. If real means being a frustrated, insecure, hot mess. Yeah, the past month has been crazy.

If I was a robot, I could accept or refuse thoughts from bullies without getting upset. I could wire my brain and abilities any way I wanted. I could program myself to be happy no matter whom or what surrounded me each day.

But that’s not the mark of a real person. And as my second novel, 18 Truths, was being released and attacks were coming from all sides, I recognized God was showing me my own personal truth in the midst of it. He allows bad days to happen to make us aware of how much we need help.

My definition of a real person is one who tells the truth, means what they say but doesn’t say it mean, and has a good heart. From that perspective, I rather like the label of being a “real” person, even as I listen to the voices of my characters whispering in the dark corners of my mind.

Alien PKO_0003410That doesn’t mean I’m not opposed to the Little Blue Lady abducting me

*puts on foil hat and chants, “Take me to your leader.”

Together, we will rule the Earth!!! 

Be careful what

you wish for!

Want to know more about Jamie Ayres? Hop on over to her website (Quick, before the Little Blue Lady does)

Check out Jamie’s book HERE. The paperback is on sale. Wahoo!

You can also feed your ereader, cause they need a little love, too.

(Tissues sold separately)

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#Free #ebooks “18 Things” by Jamie Ayres #freestuff

Free_Fridays!

Yay!  It’s Freebee Fridays time!

First of all,

Congrats to everyone who got in on the action last week and downloaded a free version of “A Hint of Frost” by Hailey Edwards before Amazon caught up with the little blue lady.

If you’d like to find out more about Hailey, hop on over to http://haileyedwards.net/

PKO_Alien 3 0003387I had fun breaking into Amazon last week.

Well, thanks for not blowing them up, because I rather like Amazon.     This week Jamie Ayres is coming over.

Alien Huh CloseWait, wasn’t she a winner a few weeks ago?

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Yes she was!  Jamie is a reader.  She hangs out here a lot, and her debut novel was just released.  Pretty cool, huh?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387It’s only cool is things explode in it.

Umm, I honestly don’t know, but let’s see what she has to say.  Put your smiley face on… here she comes.

Alien SmileWell, Hello There.  Welcome, Welcome.

Come on in and get comfy.

Well, you look rather sure of yourself, young lady.

Yeah, well, I did my research.  I know what I’m in for.  Let’s cut to the chase Little Blue Lady.  I’m Jamie Ayres (but you can call me Jaim-O)

PKO_Alien 3 0003387A Lady who doesn’t like to mess around!?

Okay, so what do you want?

I’d like a gallon of coffee and a credit card to buy an unlimited amount of Norman Love Chocolates. Oh, and I’d also like to give away a copy of 18 Things.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well, you have to earn the right to give something away here, Miss Smarty Pants!

.

Bring It!

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well this is a feisty one!  Okay… Ms. Ayres… What makes you think your book is good enough to read?  I saw the cover.  It looks boring.

Don’t judge a book by… Oh, never mind… It’s a story about unconditional love, redeeming hope, and taking leaps of faith to achieve goals, with lots of laughs and Yoda-like wisdom sprinkled throughout.

Alien SmileYoda!  A fellow alien!  Maybe this isn’t as boring as it looks!

What would make me want to read it, other than Yoda?

For the same reason we read any story—we long to know we’re not alone, they remind us of ourselves, they give us a new perspective, they make us laugh and entertain us. Sometimes, they make us feel emotions we wish we had in our everyday lives.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387I have no emotion

I doubt that’s true. 

You look very emotional. 

Actually, right now I think you’re blue.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Am not!

Have you looked in the mirror?

.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Stop that!

Jennifer, she’s picking on me!

That’s part of the interviewer gig… brush it off, don’t let her get the upper hand!

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well, okay then.  So, mis Ayre-y Ayres.

Does anything explode in this novel?

Yes.

Think Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Oh!  I like marshmallows.  Wait a minute.

Ha!  I just got that.  I loved that movie!

Me, too.

That makes us movie sisters!

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well, okay, then sister.

Other than exploding marshmallows, what’s the book about?

Can eighteen things save a life?

Olga Gay Worontzoff thinks her biggest problems are an awful name (after her grandmothers of course) and not attending prom with Conner, her best friend and secret crush since kindergarten.

Just as she’s finally embracing the joys of living life for the moment, her therapist reveals a terrifying secret and Olga’s world is shaken. In the past year, it took eighteen remarkable things to change a life, but nothing she believed about her mission is true.

Now she doesn’t just risk losing her true soul-mate forever, she risks losing her very soul.

Alien Huh CloseWhaaaat?  It doesn’t sound like things explode.  And you’re another one of those chicks who sounds like they are reading when I asked what their story is about. I hate that!

Ummmm, Sorry?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387You best be!

Now you must redeem yourself! Have you ever actually exploded anything?

As a teacher, I’ve done the baking soda and vinegar volcano reaction many times. Also, probably everyone has done fireworks on the 4th of July, but have they blown up a watermelon with fireworks? Enough said.

Alien SmileHee Hee.  That sounds like fun!

Have you ever painted you hair blue?

No, but I let my students do it twice!

And guess what, it was to motivate them to READ!

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Alien SmileYou sound like such a cool teacher!

Have you ever thought of maybe taking over the world?

Yes. I’m thinking of embedding a secret code in the text of my next book, 18 Truths, that will put everyone automatically under my hypnosis after they read it. I will then order them to build me a Death Star and take over galaxies one by one. Would you like to help?

PKO_Alien 1 0003414YES!  I am up to the challenge!  Finally, a kindred spirit! Have you ever actually been in space?

I’m originally from Dagobah. Do you think an evil-genius writer and master of words could actually be a mere human? Psh!

Alien SmileHa!  Finally an admission of the truth!  I knew someone with such  an extra-ordinary talent had to be from another world!  Welcome to Earth, Ms. Jamie of Dagobah!

It’s nice to be here. 

Does this mean I can give away a copy of my book?

Alien SmileYes!  Absolutely!  Let’s allow people to comment below, and then you, in your infinite alien wisdom, can pick a winner

Great! 

Let’s do it!

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Alien SmileIf anyone would like to win a free copy of “18 things” leave a comment below.  We will choose a winner on Monday.

How about we give the winner a choice of an ebook or paperback?

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Alien SmileYou got it!

So start commenting!

If you’d like a chance to win a free copy of 18 Things, please leave a comment below, and if you’d like to find out more about Jamie Ayres, hop on over to http://jamieayres.com/