Tag Archives: Arts

Write a Story With Me # 56 – “A Secret Door” by Susan Rocan

Posted on August 12, 2013 | 7 comments

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

56 – Susan Rocan “A Secret Door”

Natalia, horrified, stared at him.

“It’s not true, is it, my beloved?”

Yoran’s shoulders slumped.

“I’m afraid it is, my dearest Natalia. I had to remove the devices so the troops would not track me to this place, although I fear I may have removed them too late.”

On cue, a thunderous crash rattled the windows, then another – closer this time. Shrieks of terror could be heard amidst more sounds of bombardment.

The courtroom erupted into chaos, as all participants tried to get through the exits. Yoran grabbed Natalia’s arm and directed her to the rear of the building, his daughters following close at his heals. Morath waved to them, exposing a secret door.

“This tunnel will bring you and your family beyond the city limits, where you may be safe. I pray that Janosc and his army are ready to handle this.”

With that, Morath slid the panel shut behind them.

Yoran led his family through the dimly lit passage, his throat constricting with claustrophobia. As each canon shot hit its mark, the ground shook and dirt sprinkled down from the ceiling. Yoran prayed the tunnel would not collapse, burying them all alive.

Meanwhile, Janosc headed for the Establishment’s Airborne Contingency, dodging the laser streams threatening to vaporize his fleet. Morath and Jenelle stood in the tallest castle tower holding hands with other female fae, pooling their energies to form a protective shield over the city. A glow rose up, surrounding the buildings, but would it be strong enough?

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Click to Tweet: As each canon shot hit its mark, the ground shook and dirt sprinkled down from the ceiling. Write a Story with me! via @jennifermeaton

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Fifty Click Here

Part Fifty-One – Joe Owens

Part Fifty-Two – Shayla Kwiatkowski

Part Fifty-Three – Jennifer Eaton

Part Fifty-Four – Shan Jeniah Burton

Part Fifty-Five – Jenny Keller Ford

Part Fifty-Six – Susan Rocan

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Susan Robuck — TAG!  You are “It”

Write a Story With Me Contributors

shayla kwiatkowski gryphonboy Jennifer M. Eaton Vanessa Chapman
Siv Maria Sharon Manship shanjeniah Vikki (The View Outside)
Danielle Ackley-McPhail Richard Leonard susanroebuck Jenny Keller Ford
aparnauteur kaidamian Eileen Snyder Elin Gregory
Joe Owens anelephantcant mysocalledDutchlife Nicky Wells
norahdeayjansen Julie Catherine Ravena Guron
jiltaroo 4amWriter mywithershins

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Write a Story with Me #54 – “You are Fey” by Shan Jeniah Burton

Posted on July 29, 2013 | 2 comments

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

#54 Shan Jeniah Burton

“I’m not asking you, Yoran. It is foretold .”

She accepted the baby from Morath, and settled him to nurse as she moved closer to her husband. “I chose you well, Yoran, and for more than either of us thought.” It was so easy, now, to drop the human form. Iridescent turquoise wings fluttered as if of their own will, allowing her to hover in the air, slightly above him.

He looked up at her . “You are fey.” He wouldn’t admit it, she knew, but his revulsion was blended with fascination.

“You didn’t vow to cherish me only if I was human. We didn’t raise our daughters with love and laughter so you could abandon them if they weren’t just as you imagined. I didn’t bear you a son for you to turn from him, or me. I am Natalia, your wife, as I have always been. These are our children, as they have always been.”

Yoran stared at her, and she could read the passing clouds of emotion in his eyes.

“Enough of this!” Sian snapped the flimsy chains. “It’s a waste of time. If he wants to hold his prejudices at night, rather than you, let him. When he let me be Recalled without a protest, he showed himself a coward. I, at least, have a lot of work to do – and I need Marci to help with the next steps.”

Sian clicked her tongue, and Marci was free, silvery wings flicking forward to brush against her sister’s vermillion.

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Click to Tweet: It’s a waste of time. If he wants to hold his prejudices at night, rather than you, let him.Write a Story with me! via @jennifermeaton

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Fifty Click Here

Part Fifty-One – Joe Owens

Part Fifty-Two – Shayla Kwiatkowski

Part Fifty-Three – Jennifer Eaton

Part Fifty-Four – Shan Jeniah Burton

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Jenny Keller Ford — TAG!  You are “It”

Write a Story With Me Contributors

shayla kwiatkowski gryphonboy Jennifer M. Eaton Vanessa Chapman
Siv Maria Sharon Manship shanjeniah Vikki (The View Outside)
Danielle Ackley-McPhail Richard Leonard susanroebuck Jenny Keller Ford
aparnauteur kaidamian Eileen Snyder Elin Gregory
Joe Owens anelephantcant mysocalledDutchlife Nicky Wells
norahdeayjansen Julie Catherine Ravena Guron
jiltaroo 4amWriter mywithershins

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Rule #12 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever – Point of View

Posted on July 23, 2013 | 18 comments

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #12

12: Fix your Point Of View (POV). Make it clear whose head you’re in as early as possible. And stay there for the duration of the scene. Unless you’re already a highly successful published novelist, in which case you can do what you like. The reality is that although most readers aren’t necessarily clued up on the finer points of POV, they know what’s confusing and what isn’t.

This is something that I really needed to teach myself to do. I’ve even written quite a few stories recently in one POV to keep myself from hopping.

A few years ago I wrote a novel with about a dozen points of view.  A beta reader suggested I read a BEST SELLING novel that switched points of view a lot so I could get a feel of how to do it seamlessly.  You know what happened? I couldn’t even read the book.  About half-way-through, I abandoned it because the head-hopping drove me crazy.  But wait – that was a best-selling novel????

Yes, it was… so a lot of people liked it.  I didn’t. (This was a romance novel by the way… it hopped between the two main characters)

The experience struck me enough though to go through my book like a viper ensuring that every scene had a SINGLE point of view.  I don’t want to give anyone the flip-flop experience that this novel had given to me.

It’s really not that hard.  Start a scene in someone’s head, and then pay attention to staying there.  Do you need to express the feelings of another character?  Fine.  But do it by showing what your POV character observes.

This POV advice is one I stoutly agree with.

Pick your POV and stay there.  If you need to change, start a new chapter and stay inside the news character’s head for a while.

Your writing will shine with this little added attention.  Harder? Yes, sometimes it is, but the end result is sooooo worth it.

How do you feel about head hopping? Are you guilty?

swish swivel squiggle

Click here to tweet: Watch your Point of View. Rule #12 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever from @jennifermeaton 

_JenniFer____EatoN

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A Review of Crossing Hathaway by Jocelyn Adams

Posted on July 19, 2013 | 7 comments

I decided to give this book a whirl because I saw a few internet posts from the author saying it was a great seller for her, and she wasn’t sure why.

I think this is one of those classic cases of a beauty queen thinking she’s ugly or something… or maybe she just doesn’t have a mirror (or reading glasses in this case.)

Crossing Hathaway is a Contemporary Romance (not my favorite genre) But it had just enough of an “out of the ordinary” twist for me to make it interesting, and for me to really feel the peril that our Main Character is in.

Eva is an IT specialist who has to spend a week working for the obnoxious owner of her company when her immediate leader has to leave for a family emergency.  She ends up dealing with more than a jerk boss, though… In the end, her life is at stake.  Heart pounding!

Jocelyn Adam’s writing is extremely fluid, and far too easy to read.  For instance, you sit down to read for ten minutes, and two hours later you realize you are still reading.  It’s one of those “annoyingly good” things.

Tiramisu anybody?

And I imagine that the Tiramisu scene has probably had some chatter on the internet and other Romance circles.  I believe this is the longest love-making scene I have ever read… and it didn’t even seem like overkill.  I honestly don’t think I will be able to order tiramisu at a restaurant again without a snicker.

Chemistry

The chemistry between the two main characters and the MC’s best friend is flawless.  I easily could place myself in her situation.  I believed it all.

Was this the perfect book?  Well… no.  For one thing, there were no explosions, but I’ll forgive her that because the rest of it was so dern good.   There were two flaws though.  The more minor flaw was that I saw the climax coming from a mile away.  I was concerned about what was happening, but since I’d figured it out, I was just waiting for “it” to happen.  The good thing was that the book didn’t end there, like I thought it would.  It kept going in a way that I didn’t anticipate, and I felt completely satisfied with the ending.

The only real flaw that bothered me (and this won’t bother most at all) was the Main Character’s mouth in the beginning of the novel.  Her language did clear up by the end, and the author was probably using it as a plot device, but it didn’t resonate with me.  Okay, yeah, I may be a prude, but I can understand if someone stubs their toe and says “oh Sh*t”, but curses just hanging out there for really no reason at all bothers me.  In fact, I mentally deleted them completely, and the narrative read fine.  It almost seems like they were inserted after the fact, which I found odd.

So I’m going to dock this story one star just for that, but feel free to give it five stars in your mind if you don’t mind erroneous cursing.

Oh, and Jocelyn Adams – If you are still wondering why this novel sells so well – it’s because it is AWESOME. And well… Tiramisu probably has a lot to do with it, too. 😉

Purchase link:  Crossing Hathaway

JenniFer_EatonF

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When to say “Enough is enough” – Coming to the end of your query rope

Posted on June 23, 2013 | 21 comments

As many of you know, I have been in what I’ve called “Query Hell” for over a month now.   One month and eleven days, to be exact.

It hit me a few days ago.  I finished the first draft of Fire in the Woods in 40 writing days. It was 40,000 words at the time. (After three months of editing and beta reading, it is nearly 68,000 words)

That means that it took me the same amount of time to write 40,000 words as it took me to write this 249-word query (mainly, the 155-word blurb inside it)

How crazy is that?

A few days ago, I said. “Enough”.

This is my problem — I know I am not good at queries, so I had requested a lot of help.  Seriously – I think people were cringing. (With smiles on their faces, I hoped)

But the problem was… I was getting SO MUCH feedback, with contradicting opinions, that I was getting NOWHERE.

A few weeks ago, I complained about this process on Facebook, and an acquisitions editor at a small publishing house commented “Just write the back cover copy of the book.  That’s all we want to see”

Well, yeah, I know that.  That’s what I was trying to write… but people kept saying I needed more.  A little more voice here, a little more danger there.  It was getting TOO LONG.

A few days ago I sat down, cleared my head… thought about all the suggestions people have made… and I just wrote the dern thing.

Funny, the best parts of all their suggestions just flew out of my fingers… and I sat there and stared at it.

Wow.

I mean, I think Wow… but I’d thought Wow before… so I (being the glutton for punishment that I am) send it to three people (leaving out the person who always found flaws)

I got two enthusiastic thumbs up, and a slight modification.

I made the modification (which fixed something I was uncomfortable with anyway) and asked for one last check – including the most critical person this time. (Who I love by the way-if you are reading this)

Triple thumbs up.  And all around “I’d ask for this in a heartbeat”

**Whew**

You can’t believe the sigh of relief.  Part of me feels like I have wasted a month and a half.  I could be nearly done my new novel, but part of me realizes I have made an important first step to getting where I want to go.

The truth is, Fire in the Woods is too important to me to be flippant with the query.  I’m going to be reaching higher than I have before.  I need to take my bumps and bruises just like anyone else.

So… if you are writing your query, or your synopsis… and feeling the pain… I sympathize.  But believe that you can get to the finish line.  Believe me, if I can write a decent query, anyone can.

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Learning to draw Manga #3 Front View Boy

Posted on June 15, 2013 | 19 comments

This week my son and I tackled the front view boy.  I figured I’d show you the step by step process to show you how easy it is.

First, start with a circle. Cut it into four equal parts and then cut the lower half into four equally spaced sections.  I go freehand.  Dude likes to use a ruler.

P1030642a

Next, add a frame for the chin.  Manga likes a pointy chin.  I’ll probably start putting my own spin on this soon.

P1030643b

Next, add the eyes in the third lower section.  Eyebrows on the line above, each slightly towards the outer circle.  The nose line just to the left of the center line, right on the outer circle mark, and do your best on the ears.  Dude and I agree ears are EVIL.

P1030644

Next, the dreaded Manga Hair.  I drew this directly from the diagram.  I don’t get the flow of the hair yet.  Dude does better than me on this aspect.

P1030645 Next, darken and add a little clothing if desired.  I decided to round the chin at this point as well.  Also add a shade under the chin. Once your lines are nice and dark, erase the light lines of the “cheat” circle originally drawn.

P1030647 That’s it.  Break it down a step at a time, and it’s really not that hard.

Yes, Dude is still growling at me, but I’m glad I’m doing this with him.  It’s giving him the competitive charge to try to get better than me.  Nope, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. (He writes, too.)  🙂

JenniFer_EatonF

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A Review of “Dipping in a Toe” By Linda Carroll-Bradd @lcarrollbradd

Posted on June 7, 2013 | 10 comments

I was just floored by this short story.  This little tidbit did everything it was meant to do.  It wet my appetite, and left me screaming for more.

Normally, I don’t like shorts, because I always feel like there is more to the story that I have not been told.  To an extent, this is no exception to that. However, this was so superbly written that I was left feeling satisfied with the ending, and not wanting to chuck my E-reader at the wall.

This is a very simple story about a single mother being attracted to her kid’s much younger swim coach, and what happens when he returns her attention.

While this is a very sweet story. (Not even any kissing) I found myself submersed in the heat between these two characters, and feeling every sensory perception relayed by the author.

My only fault is how short it is (I read it in two nights, but I could have gobbled it in one sitting if I wanted to)  I would love to read more about this new couple, and if there is a part two, I am reaching for it.

In general, I like fantasy or chase novels, and romance bores me.  This story, though, just blew my socks off without any TNT.  For the first time in a long time, I am looking up an author to see what else she’s written.

I can’t find any reason in this book not to give it five stars.  This is sweet romance at its utter and complete best.

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Rule #5 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Posted on June 4, 2013 | 16 comments

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #5

5: Pairs of adjectives are exponentially worse than single adjectives. The ‘big, old’ man walked slowly towards the ‘tall, beautiful’ girl. When I read a sentence like that, I’m hoping he dies before he arrives at his destination. Mind you, that’s probably a cue for a ‘noisy, white’ ambulance to arrive. Wailingly, perhaps!

I think this is pretty much self-explanatory.  I know I have done this, but usually to create a mood, and definitely in moderation.

For instance, a character in a deep, dark dungeon.  Miles took a slow, calculated step.  Yes, in each case you could delete one, but there is a mood set with the use of two, right.  BE CAREFUL THOUGH.  Use this extremely sparingly.  (Ha!  That’s two “ly” words in a row)

Take a look through your manuscript.  Where have you used double adjectives and had it work well?  Where did you smack yourself upside the head and delete one (or more) adjectives?

JenniFer_EatonF

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A review of Sweet Blood of Mine by @John_Corwin

Posted on May 17, 2013 | 4 comments

Jump aboard!  It’s going to be a bumpy ride!  I really enjoyed this story from so many angles it’s not funny.

This is a story about an overweight geeky teen boy who suddenly becomes a soul-sucking incubus. (Don’t blame him.  It’s hereditary.)

The only problem is… no one told him anything about it, and he has no idea what’s going on.

I loved the world-building in this novel, and the voice is AWESOME. The main character seems real, and deals with his “changes” in a realistic way.

The only thing I can fault in Sweet Blood of Mine is the beginning, which is a bit long and drawn out.  I was so interested in the character’s voice though, that I kept reading.  The writing is fluid, and very well done.  And, in the end, I’m glad I kept reading because I ended up just LOVING this story, and cheering the main characters on as these two teenagers set off to on an adventure to save the boy’s father from the nasty supernatural bad-guys.

I’m going to dock one star for the overly-long beginning, but once you get past that, and his abilities flare up, this is an action packed roller-coaster ride of fun.

Oh yeah – here’s a warning.  This book is free right now, and this is a classic case of free done well…  There is an excerpt of the next book in the last few pages. And guess what I did?  Yep – I clicked that Buy it Now button.

This is a perfect example to me of how giving away a free book can work.   This book was so good that I didn’t hesitate to pick up the next one.  Be warned – there’s a whole series of these suckers, but at $2.99 a download, I’m good with that. If you like to romp around in the YA world (just inching toward new adult) I would HIGHLY recommend this.

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Rule #2 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Posted on May 14, 2013 | 22 comments

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #2

2: Use oblique dialogue. Try to generate conflict at all times in your writing. Attempt the following experiment at home or work: spend the day refusing to answer your family and colleagues’ questions directly. Did you generate conflict? I bet you did. Apply that principle to your writing and your characters will respond likewise.

This is one of those things that I read and said to myself “huh-wha?”  It seemed like a jumble of words that should be important, if I knew what he was trying to say.  Here’s my take on it, after doing a little research and thinking it over.

This is what I came up with.  Let’s take a look at some dialog. I’m going to take out movement and emotion so we can just look at the dialog, and see how it works.

“Helen, I’m home.”

“Hello, George. How was work?”

“Oh just dandy.  Martin was out, so I had to take care of all his problems and got to none of my own work.”

“I’m sorry to hear that dear. What would you like for dinner?”

“Pizza is fine.”

“Okay, I’ll place the order.”

“I went shopping today.”

“Yeah, what’d you buy?”

“Milk and eggs.”

“Good.  I like milk and eggs”

“You know what? We need to talk about Billy.  He turned into a velociraptor today, and he ate three of his classmates.”

“Whaaaaaaat?”

0026_CracksAndCrevasses

Okay – don’t judge me.  I’m trying to make a point.  There is a lot of day-to day babble in here that is really unnecessary, right?  The only important thing is that Billy turned into a dinosaur.

Conflict needs to be evident in every scene.  Don’t just have people talking about nothing just to kill time.  Each scene, and each bit of dialog needs to move the story forward.  I mean seriously.  Do we need to know that Mommy picked up milk and eggs?

Look for your dialog to be concise and to the point.  Give it the impression of being longer, without actually boring your reader with the babble.

Make sure each scene has a start, conflict, and resolution.  Each one of these miniature stories needs to draw your characters further along in the story. If it doesn’t move the story forward, no matter how much you love the scene, it’s time to take out the hatchet.

How often do you find your characters babbling with no forward movement in a scene?  What did you do to rein your dialog in?

Jennifer___Eaton

 

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