Tag Archives: Facebook

Facebook Advertising, Take Two – Very different results.

So, I tried Facebook advertising again. I changed things up just a little. And the results were surprisingly different.

 

Facebook warns that if you add words to your picture, that you will not get seen by as many people.

I tried using the ad that my publicist created, and they showed me that there was too much writing on the ad, and a company logo … that it would only be seen by 200 people. So, like a conscious consumer, I scrapped it and made my own.

I took a picture and added three lines of copy. This is what it looked like.

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Yes, they tell you that ads with words on them will reach less people, but since they WARNED be on the first one, I figured they would warn me on this one, too.

I went through the motions, and Facebook told me that over a two day promotion, and $2.00 a day, I would be seen by 1,800 – 3000 people. Hey, for $4.00 sign me up!

Well, this was NOT meant to be. I scratched my head, watching the numbers.

 

There were three factors involved. I’m not sure which one caused the problem.


#1: It was labor day weekend. The sale ran from 11:00 AM Saturday to 11:00 AM Monday (I was hoping people might grab a beach read)

#2: There was a hurricane coming. People bailed on the beach.

#3: I added two lines of copy, and it was obviously an ad, rather than the personal approach I first used.


I might try again with the same add photo during the week to see if I get higher numbers. That way I can rule out the hurricane (That never showed up, but the way)

As a reminder, these were the results of my first ad:


At $1 a day I received an average of 284 views per day and 8 clicks per day

At $2 a day (On a Sunday, which might have skewed things) I received 515 views and 11 clicks

If you want to be really anal, for a total of $9.00 it cost $.00359 cents per view, or $.13 per click. Personally, I don’t only value the “click” numbers, because I know how important just the face time of the cover is.


This time around, as I said, the results were much different.

Think GirlMy paid reach was 528 people over two days. That’s 264 a day. That is 20 less views than I got when I paid only $1.00 a day. NOT COOL!

I received 16 post clicks. Average of 8 a day (The same amount of clicks I got the first time around) FOR DOUBLE THE COST.

 

sadSo, overall, this one was a bust for me.

Facebook is telling me that if I add $1.00 to my budget, my reach will increase to $4.5k-10.6K. … But I didn’t reach the 3000 people I was supposed to reach the first time, so I’m doubtful.

Since it is only $1.00, I am going to take them up on the offer on Tuesday when everyone goes back to work.

Let’s see if there is any change.

This will tell me if it is the added words on the ad causing the problem, or if it was just bad timing.

I’ll let you know how it goes!

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Ashes and Fire2You can find Fire in the Woods and Ashes in the Sky at all these awesome bookish places!

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository | Kobo | Chapters Indigo! | iBooks | IndiBound | Google Play


Catch up with me on social media!

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An Analysis of my first try at Facebook Advertising


Aliens, Armageddon, and Romance

Fire in the Woods is only $.99 on Ebook

For a limited time!

Amazon | Barnes & NobleKoboiBooks | Google Play


Last week, my book went on sale on Ebook for $.99. This was a bit of a surprise, and I wouldn’t have even known unless a friend happened upon it and let me know (funny how that happens in the publishing biz.)

Anyway… in a perfect world I would have had tons of marketing ready, but since my book was only going to be on sale for a week, I needed to act fast.

  1.        Instagram Posts
  2.        My Newsletter
  3.        My Street Team
  4.        Twitter
  5.        Tumblr
  6.        Facebook

When I hit Facebook, the app prompted me to boost the post. I figured, why not? It was the perfect chance to test the waters.

The process was insanely easy, and not really all that expensive.

I started with a budget of $7.00 total, for an add that would run for seven days. (A dollar a day. That’s not too bad)The results were interesting…At the end of the seven days, I had reached an additional 1,995 people, and 56 people had clicked on the buy links.

(more on WHO clicked below- stay with me)

Breaking that down, about 8 people clicked the buy link per day. NOT HUGE NUMBERS, but not that bad… because I know from research that you need to see the cover of a book at least three times before you consider buying, and then another 3-5 times before you decide to find out more or buy.

I had an “organic” reach of 150 people (that is average for me… these are the people who would have seen it in the feed without any advertising).

I asked the App to send the ad to women only in the USA between the ages of 13-50 who have shown interest in reading, science fiction, romance, young adult… etc.

Then I drilled down and found something REALLY interesting…

I looked at the demographic of the “clicks”. This was a real eye-opener. I know that my book is written for the 13-18 age group, but I went for the broader 13-50 range because I know a lot of adult women read YA as well.

But guess what?

48 of the people who clicked the buy links were in the 13-19 age brackets. My exact target audience! So sending out to a broad age range, I decided, might have been a mistake.

But the sale wasn’t over yet…

Then, I noticed that the sale had not ended on Saturday as scheduled. I decided to give my ad one last push. I was going to do one day for $1, but decided to try 1 day for $2 to send it to more people. I also adjusted the age bracket to 13-19 year olds (Sorry, adults… I was experimenting)

On that one day I received an additional 515 views and an additional 11 clicks

The final stats

So, at $1 a day I received an average of 284 views per day and 8 clicks per day

At $2 a day (On a Sunday, which might have skewed things) I received 515 views and 11 clicks

If you want to be really anal, for a total of $9.00 it cost $.00359 cents per view, or $.13 per click. Personally, I don’t only value the “click” numbers, because I know how important just the face time of the cover is.

How does Facebook stack up against other advertising?

I have purchased some other forms of advertising that cost $280 for just a few mentions. While those did provide great face time, I don’t think they were as good of a value as the Facebook ad.

So, to sum it all up, YES I would do this again, but with a few changes.

#1. I’d not shoot for such a wide age audience. If it went to more 13-19 year olds, I might have ended up with more clicks

#2. I’d taken a class on Facebook ads a few days before this happened, but I didn’t have time to create my own ad. Instead, I used just a picture of my book, and a friendly post about the sale. I’m going to experiment next time with the suggestions from the course I took. (Below is the Instagram version-same pic, same text as the Facebook Ad) Here is a link to the actual ad https://www.facebook.com/JenniferEaton.Author/

You guyzzzz! FIRE IN THE WOODS is on sale for only $0.99 on ebook at most bookish places! Here's what it's about: FIRE blurb When a plane crashes in the woods near Jess’s home, the boy of her dreams falls out of the sky—literally. But David’s not here to find a girlfriend. He’s from another planet, and if Jess can’t help him get back to his ship, he’ll be stuck on Earth with nothing to look forward to but the pointy end of a dissection scalpel. Her father runs their house like an army barracks, and with an alien on the loose, Major Dad isn’t too keen on the idea of Jess going anywhere. Ever. So how the heck is she supposed to help the sweetest, strangest, and cutest guy she’s ever met? Hiding him in her room probably isn’t the best idea. Especially since her Dad is in charge of the squadron searching for David. That doesn’t mean she won’t do it. It just means she can't get caught. As they race through the woods with Major Dad and most of the U.S. military one breath behind them, Jess and David grow closer than either of them anticipated. But David has a genocide-sized secret, and one betrayal later, they are both in handcuffs as alien warships are positioning themselves around the globe. Time is ticking down to Armageddon, and Jess must think fast if she's to save the boy she cares about without sacrificing Earth—and everyone on it. . . . #fireinthewoods #YA #yalit #read #reading #yalovin #bookstagram #scifi #aliens #alienated #aliensrule #book #books #bookish #bookgeek #booklove #bookaholic #booklover #bookaddict #bookhoarder #AshesInTheSky #books #reader #page #pages #paper #instagood #picoftheday #alienbooks #romance

A photo posted by Jennifer M. Eaton (@jennifermeaton) on

State breakdown… In case anyone is interested…

The most “clicks” came from California. 11 clicks from 167 people who saw the ad.

Followed by Ohio: 7 clicks from 123 reached

Arizona, Florida, Georgia, New Jersey, Pennsylvania: all 4 clicks from 50-99 reached

Most of the rest were 50-ish views with 1-3 clicks per state.

Yes, there were 24 states who saw the ad, but had no clickers. [Sad face]

If you’d like to know anything else about the experience, please let me know!

Has anyone else tested out the waters of Facebook advertising? How did it work for you?

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Ashes and Fire2You can find Fire in the Woods and Ashes in the Sky at all these awesome bookish places!

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository | Kobo | Chapters Indigo! | iBooks | IndiBound |


Catch up with me on social media!

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Ten Steps to Building a Killer Author’s Platform

Score!

Today I wrangled author Jennifer Bardsley to chat to you about social media. Jennifer, besides having a kick-butt first name, has an awesome media platform. Let’s see how she does it!

Take it away, Jennifer!

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The main character of my book Genesis Girl is a teenager named Blanca who has never been on the Internet.

Her lack of a digital footprint makes her so valuable that she gets auctioned off to the highest bidder.


My name isn’t Blanca. It’s Jennifer Bardsley, aka “The YA Gal” and I’m on the web all the time chatting about books on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Social media can be confusing. But book marketing from the couch beats braving TSA lines at the airport to fly to a convention or conference and hope for sales. Social media can be an author’s best friend—and biggest time suck.

Here are my top ten tips for using social media in an effective way to build up the best online presence possible:

  1. Pick two platforms you love, and go from there. If Twitter isn’t your thing, it will show in your tweeting. If you’re a wretched photographer, your Instagram feed will be crap. Don’t invest effort in a social media outlet you don’t enjoy.
  2. Analyze demographics. In general, a younger crowd hangs out on Instagram and Snapchat, whereas older readers might be on Facebook. If you’re a cozy mystery author, you might want to veto Instagram and pursue Facebook instead. YA authors might want to target YouTube. Find the social media platform that best matches your intended audience.
  3. Call people by name. Effective users of social media understand the importance of building relationships. Don’t just respond with “Thanks for the comment,” take that extra five seconds to add “Thanks for the comment, Stephanie.”
  4. Crack the algorithms. Just because you have 20,000 people following you doesn’t mean that all 20,000 people will see every post. Sometimes 500 people will see that cute kitten meme you shared, and sometimes 100,000 people will see it. It all depends on how much engagement your post receives. On Facebook this means likes, comments, and shares. On Instagram the goal is hearts and comments. Crack the algorithm and both platforms will allow more people to see your content.
  5. Only talk about your own book one tenth of the time. Nothing turns off potential followers faster than blatant self-promotion.
  6. Study hashtags. Twitter hashtags can sometimes have a very short half-life and you have to keep your eye on what is trending in order to participate in conversations and stay on top of the crest of popularity. On Instagram hashtags live forever. Some hashtags like #boosktagram are so gigantic that unless you are famous you will never score in the top posts for those hashtags. Smaller hashtags like #booksandperfume might give you more visibility. On Facebook, hashtags aren’t very common and if you include a bunch of hashtags you’ll look like a noob.
  7. Don’t ignore BookTube. Any author who is older than thirty did not grow up with YouTube and might view the BookTube audience as an afterthought. But if you ask a thirteen–year-old who his favorite YouTube personality is, that teenager can probably rattle off ten people. Learn who the top BookTubers are at the moment and also make friends with the smaller ones who might be interested in giving your book attention.
  8. Understand your brand as an author. Your social media platform is not a place to share pictures of your kids, vacations, or laundry pile you need to fold. Dog pictures are okay, especially if you have a pug or poodle. Cats make great #Caturday photos. But beyond that your accounts should represent reading, writing, and things that are of interest to your readers.
  9. Ignore what I just said about not posting pictures of your kids, if family is part of your brand. Some authors create very successful brands based on snippets they share of their family life. But it has to be done in a clever way.
  10. Have fun! If social media is a chore for you, than your lack of enthusiasm will show. Keep searching until you find the social media outlet that makes you excited about logging on.

 


About Genesis Girl

Eighteen-year-old Blanca has lived a sheltered life. Her entire childhood has been spent at Tabula Rasa School where she’s been protected from the Internet. Blanca has never been online and doesn’t even know how to text. Her lack of a virtual footprint has made her extremely valuable and upon graduation Blanca, and those like her, are sold to the highest bidders. Blanca is purchased by Cal McNeal, who uses her to achieve personal gain. But the McNeal’s are soon horrified by just how obedient and non-defiant Blanca is. All those mind-numbing years locked away from society have made her mind almost impenetrable. By the time Blanca is ready to think for herself, she is trapped. Her only chance of escape is to go online.

Purchase Links:

Google Play | BAM | Chapters | Indies | Amazon | B&N | Kobo | TBD | iBooks


 

Jennifer Bardsley writes the parenting column “I Brake for Moms” for The Everett Daily Herald. Her debut YA novel, “Genesis Girl” is available from Month9Books, with the sequel releasing in 2017. “Genesis Girl” is about a teenager who has never been on the Internet. Jennifer however, is on the web all the time as “The YA Gal” with over 20,000 followers on Facebook, and 14,000 followers on Instagram. On Facebook, she hosts the weekly instant book club called #TakeALookTuesday where YA Gal friends geek out, share pictures of what they are reading, and chat about books. Jennifer is a member of SCBWI, The Sweet Sixteens debut author group, and is founder of Sixteen To Read. An alumna of Stanford University, Jennifer lives near Seattle, WA where she enjoys spending time with her family and her poodle, Merlin.

Author Links: WebsiteTwitterInstagramFacebookGoodreads

Thanks for hanging out today, Jennifer!

Oh, WAIT! There’s a Giveaway until July 2, 2016 click here for a chance to win one of five copies of Genesis Girl! 

 

 

 

Oh yeah? I mean, No! No yeah! — What’s your “yeah?”

Yeah.  It’s my new nemesis.  Oh, I’ve had other nemeses’ in the past, but “Yeah” has just become the granddaddy of them all.

I’m editing out overused words in my manuscript, and while I was searching for “Oh” I noticed quite a few “Oh yeahs”  So I jotted down the word “yeah” at the end of my list to take a look at later.

Imagine my surprise, when sitting down to what I THOUGHT would be a short editing session, and I find that I’ve used the word “yeah” 223 times in a 246 page manuscript.

Oh_No!!!!

And it’s not even like “yeah” appears once a page.  There are several pages in a row that have no occurrences of “yeah” whatsoever.  And then the next page is all lit up with five yellow highlights.

How did this happen? – And how did none of my beta’s not even mention it?

One of my really strong points is dialog.  I can “hear” my characters talk, and I just transcribe.  When both of your main characters are teenagers, the word “yeah” seems to pop out a lot, and it SOUNDS absolutely fine, even though repeated.

But I’m sure a publisher wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about so many “yeahs” on a page.

Yikes!

Through editing, I cut it down from 223 to 67.  A lot of them still appear multiple times on a page, but I think they need to stay this way to keep the “voice” of the characters intact. And hey, they are teenagers. They say “yeah”, ya know?

In my final read for flow, I will make special notice of them, and continue to trim them away wherever possible.

What’s your most recent word nemesis?

JenniFer_Eaton Sparkle__F

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“I’m sending My Novel Out to Query.” Are you sure you want to do that?

I just got an email that really disturbed me.  No, it was not from one of those creepy guys on Facebook who friends you and then sends you scary PMs… This was from someone I actually know.  Well, cyber-know at least.

This person is a critique partner. Someone working on their first book.

What did the email say that disturbed me so much?

“I’m going to send this out to agents. Can you look at my query and synopsis?”

OMG.

Was I worried about helping with a query and synopsis?  Nope. Not at all. I do it all the time.

So what was it that drove a jagged, rusty bar through my heart?

“I am going out to query.”

I feel incredibly thankful for that little angel on my shoulder who whacked me upside the head two years ago and said “Don’t do it. Your novel sucks.”

Some people, unfortunately, do not have a little angel. Or if they do, they’re not listening.

A quote from Dan Blank keeps coming to mind.  It’s something like: “Writing a book for the sake of writing a book is a worthwhile experience. Not all books should (or need) to be published.” (I totally paraphrased that)

Anyway. I’d like to remind everyone that a sizable number of first novels should be placed in a drawer and never thought of again. Call them a learning experience. A small portion of these can be resurrected, but should be used as an outline and completely rewritten. I would guess that less than one percent are worthy of publication.

But does it hurt to try?

Jury is out on that.  If you have countless hours to waste researching agents/editors and then have even more hours to send a manuscript out that has no chance at all at publication – more power to you. The chances of them remembering you and instantly deleting your second or third manuscript are slim, right?

(Did that last paragraph seem slightly jaded?  If so, GOOD. It was meant to.)

My other big worry is that after a few rejections, instead of shelving manuscripts that are not ready, authors will turn to self-publishing. [Cringe] The thought makes me shiver.  You think critique partners can be harsh?  Try a review from someone on Amazon who is angry at you for wasting their time or money.  Have you read those kind of reviews?  I feel so sorry for those authors!

(Aside: For the record, I think self-publishing is great… If you are ready and have received professional line editing and copy editing)

It took me 17 drafts of my first novel before I decided to shelf it.

Two years of work, sitting on a shelf collecting dust.

Was it worth it?

 

Totally!I learned tons from the experience.  I took what I learned to my NEXT novel.  And when that was done, I took what I learned from writing my second novel into my third novel (all the while pumping out novellas and shorts and getting professional feedback) And I took all of that experience and dove into my fourth novel.

Each. Got. Better.

And even after I thought “maybe my novel is good enough” I was STILL shy of certain agents, and ESPECIALLY my target publisher.  It was not until agents or editors started saying things like:

 “Your writing is strong, but I do not have a place for science fiction right now”

or things like:

“This is not for me, but if you have another book in “xxxx” genre please send it directly to me at [insert email address]”

… that I started sending out to the agents and houses at the “top” of my wish list. And by the way – They ARE NOT reviewing my first novel. That is still safely sitting on my shelf, waving and smiling at me every day.

My point is, don’t feel pressured to publish your first novel. If you are serious about writing, and you are unsure, just move on to the next one. I guarantee novel #2 will be better.

But if you do decide to go for it, good luck!  I wish you all the best, and totally hope you are in that one percent of shining stars.

JenniFer_EatonF

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It’s Release Day for Paper Wishes – Take Two – (Head Smack)

Okay – so, no one told me that release day means “within a couple of days of” a certain date at both Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Color me silly.

Note to self – Schedule launch for a few day AFTER the official release date next time to let the big boys catch up.

Paper Wishes Final

But Fear not!

Astraea Press has all the Paper Wishes your heart may desire.

Available now.  Yes, seriously. Right now.

And for the bargain basement price of $.99 for a new release!

How cool is that?

And yes, you can get it for your kindle or Nook over at Astraea.  They are all sociable that way. Zip on over to Astraea Press to buy Paper Wishes for $.99

Oh!  And the deal is still out there!  Facebook or Tweet about the release and giveaway for a chance to win a free copy.  Don’t forget to tag me so I see it!

Click to Tweet: “It’s release day for “Paper Wishes” a sweet romance by @Jennifermeaton. Check it out!”

Click to Tweet:Win a free copy of “Paper Wishes” by @jennifermeaton

JenniFer_EatonF

When to say “Enough is enough” – Coming to the end of your query rope

As many of you know, I have been in what I’ve called “Query Hell” for over a month now.   One month and eleven days, to be exact.

It hit me a few days ago.  I finished the first draft of Fire in the Woods in 40 writing days. It was 40,000 words at the time. (After three months of editing and beta reading, it is nearly 68,000 words)

That means that it took me the same amount of time to write 40,000 words as it took me to write this 249-word query (mainly, the 155-word blurb inside it)

How crazy is that?

A few days ago, I said. “Enough”.

This is my problem — I know I am not good at queries, so I had requested a lot of help.  Seriously – I think people were cringing. (With smiles on their faces, I hoped)

But the problem was… I was getting SO MUCH feedback, with contradicting opinions, that I was getting NOWHERE.

A few weeks ago, I complained about this process on Facebook, and an acquisitions editor at a small publishing house commented “Just write the back cover copy of the book.  That’s all we want to see”

Well, yeah, I know that.  That’s what I was trying to write… but people kept saying I needed more.  A little more voice here, a little more danger there.  It was getting TOO LONG.

A few days ago I sat down, cleared my head… thought about all the suggestions people have made… and I just wrote the dern thing.

Funny, the best parts of all their suggestions just flew out of my fingers… and I sat there and stared at it.

Wow.

I mean, I think Wow… but I’d thought Wow before… so I (being the glutton for punishment that I am) send it to three people (leaving out the person who always found flaws)

I got two enthusiastic thumbs up, and a slight modification.

I made the modification (which fixed something I was uncomfortable with anyway) and asked for one last check – including the most critical person this time. (Who I love by the way-if you are reading this)

Triple thumbs up.  And all around “I’d ask for this in a heartbeat”

**Whew**

You can’t believe the sigh of relief.  Part of me feels like I have wasted a month and a half.  I could be nearly done my new novel, but part of me realizes I have made an important first step to getting where I want to go.

The truth is, Fire in the Woods is too important to me to be flippant with the query.  I’m going to be reaching higher than I have before.  I need to take my bumps and bruises just like anyone else.

So… if you are writing your query, or your synopsis… and feeling the pain… I sympathize.  But believe that you can get to the finish line.  Believe me, if I can write a decent query, anyone can.

Write a Story with Me #44 by AnElephantCant “Being Prepared”

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

44 – AnElephantCant

Sian awoke with not only a blinding headache, but with her whole body feeling as though it had been trampled by a herd of stampeding wildebeest.

She raised her head slowly and found that she was in what appeared to be a windowless dungeon.

The only light came from a small aperture in the damp rock high overhead.

She stumbled to her feet, only to find she was chained by her ankle to a metal ring set in the floor.

“Hello!” she called loudly, “Is anyone there?”

Groans came from the darkness.

“Who is there?” she cried, “Speak to me!”

She stared in amazement as first Bethany and then Marci staggered out of the gloom, both trailing chains from their ankles.

“What happened … Where are we …  How did we get here?”

The sisters all started asking questions at once, but none of them had any answers.

Nor could they recall exactly where they had been or what they were doing immediately before they wakened here.

“All in good time” came Janosc’s voice from the blackest corner.

He strolled into sight, gleamingly smart, smiling confidently.

“Please, tidy yourselves up, you look awful”, he grinned at the girls, “You will want to look your best, won’t you?”

Again the girls fired questions all at once.

“Where are we … Our best for what ….” and, from Marci, “Where is our father?”

“He is being prepared”, answered Janosc.

“Prepared for what?”

“After what happened? He is being prepared for the ceremony, of course!”

###

Check out more from anelephantcant at http://anelephantcant.me/

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Part Forty-Two – Susan Rocan

Part Forty-Three – Kate Johnson

Part Forty-Four – An Elephant Can’t

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Julie Catherine Vigna — TAG!  You are “It”

Win a free, autographed print version of A Legacy of Stars by Danielle Ackley-McPhail

You’ll all remember Danielle from the “Give that Publisher What They Want, Dernit!” Series here on my site.  Now she has a giveaway!

Check out the details below!

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I received a wonderful review yesterday for my solo science fiction collection, A Legacy of Stars (DTF Publications/Dark Quest Books). It made my day, but it came with something of a mystery, which I’ll quote here:

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“One of the cleverest first contact stories to come along in a long time.” Analog June 2013 issue

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Where is the mystery, do you ask? See…there are two first contact stories in the collection. Now I could just ask the reviewer which one he thought was the cleverest, but where is the fun in that? I say this calls for a contest.

For the next week I will be taking a poll on what you thought was the  cleverest first contact story in the book. How it works: If you really like me and want to give some support to a small press author buy the ebook version of the book for $2.99 and give it a read.
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Or, email me at _greenfirephoenix@aol.com_ and I will send you a PDF file of the two stories in question. Whichever route you take, read the stories: Building Blocks and To Look Upon The Face of God and click the below rafflecopter by April 12 (EST) with your pick for which is the cleverest. On April 13th the reviewer, Don Sakers, will answer the question on my Facebook page. Two people will win a free, autographed copy of the print version of A Legacy of Stars.
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Danielle Ackley-McPhail www.sidhenadaire.com www.badassfaeries.com NEW RELEASE – from Dark Quest Books – A Legacy of Stars – A Collection of Award-Winning Science Fiction
Author of Yesterday’s Dreams, Tomorrow’s Memories, Today’s Promise, and The Halfling’s Court Editor of the Bad-A** Faeries Anthology Series

It’s Free Friday! #free An autographed print copy of Crisis of Identity by Denise Moncrief

Free_Fridays!

Yay!  It’s Freebee Fridays time!

First of all, Congrats to last week’s winner: J.K.Ford

You’ve received a free copy of “Torn” by Keri Neal.

If you’d like to find out more about Kerri Neal check out her blog kerineal.com/author or check her out on Twitter twitter.com/@authorkerineal or Facebook facebook.com/authorkerineal

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Alien Zig Zag

PKO_Alien 3 0003387I’m tired.

.

Why are you tired?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387I stayed up late last night watching a movie.

.

Well at least you were having fun.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387It was not fun!  It was horrible. 

Such a sad story! What a Tragedy!

What was it about?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387This mother trying to save her baby from a serial killer.

  It was horrible!

What was it called?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Alien.

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[Presses her lips together] I’m… not going to go there.  So, are you ready for the interview?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Yes. Maybe it will cheer me up.

Let the stupid author in.

Oh, this isn’t going to go well…

PKO_Alien 3 0003387So, who are you

and what do you want?

Hi.

I’m Denise Moncrief and I’m just a writer who wants to sell a few books.

Is that too much to ask?

.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Piff!  We’ll see.

Why do you think your book is good enough?

Because…because… sheesh, because I wrote it.

That’s why.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Vain little sucker isn’t she? 

Okay Miss Hoity Toity…

Why would anyone want to read it?

Why wouldn’t they?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Because you’re a hoity toity pink clad…

.

Hey!  Be nice! 

You don’t know anything about her!

PKO_Alien 3 0003387She reminds me of Sigourney Weaver.  That brown hair… those beady eyes… I don’t like Sigourney Weaver anymore.  She’s mean to poor alien mothers just trying to protect their babies.

But this isn’t Sigourney Weaver.

.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387I don’t care!

.

Please give her a chance.

.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387All right. 

Tell me what your stupid book is about.

I’m so glad you asked! Tess Copeland is an operator. Her motto? Necessity is the mother of a good a con. When Hurricane Irving slams into the Texas Gulf coast, Tess seizes the opportunity to escape her past by hijacking a dead woman’s life, but Shelby Coleman’s was the wrong identity to steal. And the cop that trails her? He’s a U.S. Marshall with the Fugitive Task Force for the northern district of Illinois. Tess left Chicago because the criminal justice system gave her no choice. Now she’s on the run from ghosts of misdeeds past—both hers and Shelby’s.

Enter Trevor Smith, a pseudo-cowboy from Houston, Texas, with good looks, a quick tongue, and testosterone poisoning. Will Tess succumb to his questionable charms and become his damsel in distress? She doesn’t have to faint at his feet—she’s capable of handling just about anything. But will she choose to let Trevor be the man? When Tess kidnaps her niece, her life changes. She must make some hard decisions. Does she trust the lawman that promises her redemption, or does she trust the cowboy that promises her nothing but himself?

Alien Huh CloseIs that supposed to sound even remotely interesting to me?  I just got back from Texas, and it was nothing like that.  It was far more interesting. Stupid book.

Stupid Alien.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Who are you calling stupid?

.

You, Stupid.  And Sigourney Weaver rules.

That was another stupid alien who deserved everything it got!

PKO_Alien 3 0003387What?  How dare you!

[Fumbles through drawer]  Hey!  Who took my ray gun!

Oops. 

That would be me.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Where is it?

.

Would you believe it’s out getting cleaned? 

It was a little dirty from the last book you disintegrated with it.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well, I need to disintegrate another stupid book

– and the stupid author too!

How about you just get rid of he book by giving it away?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Never!

.

But maybe there’s a reason she’s stupid…

I mean… ergh… Umm… 

PKO_Alien 3 0003387You mean maybe she was hit by a stupid ray?

.

Stupid ray? Is there such thing?

.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Yes.

.

Well, then, yes,

maybe she was hit by a stupid ray.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Hey Moncrief…

Were you hit with a stupid ray or something?

No, I don’t think so. But then, the memory erasing serum faded most of the 1990s for me.

You know what? 

If they hit her with a stupid ray, maybe she was being bad?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Oh! 

Did you try to take over the world?

I can’t talk about that. National security and everything, you understand. (That’s part of the reason they gave me the memory erasing serum.) There are things I remember, and things I’d rather forget.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387So there is a possibility you are a comrade of world domination, but you just don’t remember! Are you sure you are from this planet?  Have you ever had the odd sensation of floating in a black void with sparkling stars?

Don’t you think these questions are getting a little…personal?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Hmmm. 

I’m not sure what to do with this one.

On the off chance she’s stupid for a reason, how about we give away a copy of her book?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387That’s a stupid reason

to give away a book.

Stupid reason for a stupid person?

.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Oh, okay.

We’ll give away the stupid book.

Yessssssssssssssss!

Hey, Denise… I don’t really think you’re stupid

.

I know🙂

.

There you have it!  Comment below, and try to make poor Denise feel better after all that.

If you’d like to find out more about Denise Moncrief and her books, click on over to  http://www.denisemoncrief.blogspot.com/
JenniFer_EatonF

The Little Blue Lady From Mars © Jennifer M. Eaton.