Tag Archives: Hoity Toity

It’s Free Friday! #free An autographed print copy of Crisis of Identity by Denise Moncrief

Free_Fridays!

Yay!  It’s Freebee Fridays time!

First of all, Congrats to last week’s winner: J.K.Ford

You’ve received a free copy of “Torn” by Keri Neal.

If you’d like to find out more about Kerri Neal check out her blog kerineal.com/author or check her out on Twitter twitter.com/@authorkerineal or Facebook facebook.com/authorkerineal

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Alien Zig Zag

PKO_Alien 3 0003387I’m tired.

.

Why are you tired?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387I stayed up late last night watching a movie.

.

Well at least you were having fun.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387It was not fun!  It was horrible. 

Such a sad story! What a Tragedy!

What was it about?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387This mother trying to save her baby from a serial killer.

  It was horrible!

What was it called?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Alien.

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[Presses her lips together] I’m… not going to go there.  So, are you ready for the interview?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Yes. Maybe it will cheer me up.

Let the stupid author in.

Oh, this isn’t going to go well…

PKO_Alien 3 0003387So, who are you

and what do you want?

Hi.

I’m Denise Moncrief and I’m just a writer who wants to sell a few books.

Is that too much to ask?

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PKO_Alien 3 0003387Piff!  We’ll see.

Why do you think your book is good enough?

Because…because… sheesh, because I wrote it.

That’s why.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Vain little sucker isn’t she? 

Okay Miss Hoity Toity…

Why would anyone want to read it?

Why wouldn’t they?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Because you’re a hoity toity pink clad…

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Hey!  Be nice! 

You don’t know anything about her!

PKO_Alien 3 0003387She reminds me of Sigourney Weaver.  That brown hair… those beady eyes… I don’t like Sigourney Weaver anymore.  She’s mean to poor alien mothers just trying to protect their babies.

But this isn’t Sigourney Weaver.

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PKO_Alien 3 0003387I don’t care!

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Please give her a chance.

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PKO_Alien 3 0003387All right. 

Tell me what your stupid book is about.

I’m so glad you asked! Tess Copeland is an operator. Her motto? Necessity is the mother of a good a con. When Hurricane Irving slams into the Texas Gulf coast, Tess seizes the opportunity to escape her past by hijacking a dead woman’s life, but Shelby Coleman’s was the wrong identity to steal. And the cop that trails her? He’s a U.S. Marshall with the Fugitive Task Force for the northern district of Illinois. Tess left Chicago because the criminal justice system gave her no choice. Now she’s on the run from ghosts of misdeeds past—both hers and Shelby’s.

Enter Trevor Smith, a pseudo-cowboy from Houston, Texas, with good looks, a quick tongue, and testosterone poisoning. Will Tess succumb to his questionable charms and become his damsel in distress? She doesn’t have to faint at his feet—she’s capable of handling just about anything. But will she choose to let Trevor be the man? When Tess kidnaps her niece, her life changes. She must make some hard decisions. Does she trust the lawman that promises her redemption, or does she trust the cowboy that promises her nothing but himself?

Alien Huh CloseIs that supposed to sound even remotely interesting to me?  I just got back from Texas, and it was nothing like that.  It was far more interesting. Stupid book.

Stupid Alien.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Who are you calling stupid?

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You, Stupid.  And Sigourney Weaver rules.

That was another stupid alien who deserved everything it got!

PKO_Alien 3 0003387What?  How dare you!

[Fumbles through drawer]  Hey!  Who took my ray gun!

Oops. 

That would be me.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Where is it?

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Would you believe it’s out getting cleaned? 

It was a little dirty from the last book you disintegrated with it.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Well, I need to disintegrate another stupid book

– and the stupid author too!

How about you just get rid of he book by giving it away?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Never!

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But maybe there’s a reason she’s stupid…

I mean… ergh… Umm… 

PKO_Alien 3 0003387You mean maybe she was hit by a stupid ray?

.

Stupid ray? Is there such thing?

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PKO_Alien 3 0003387Yes.

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Well, then, yes,

maybe she was hit by a stupid ray.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Hey Moncrief…

Were you hit with a stupid ray or something?

No, I don’t think so. But then, the memory erasing serum faded most of the 1990s for me.

You know what? 

If they hit her with a stupid ray, maybe she was being bad?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Oh! 

Did you try to take over the world?

I can’t talk about that. National security and everything, you understand. (That’s part of the reason they gave me the memory erasing serum.) There are things I remember, and things I’d rather forget.

PKO_Alien 3 0003387So there is a possibility you are a comrade of world domination, but you just don’t remember! Are you sure you are from this planet?  Have you ever had the odd sensation of floating in a black void with sparkling stars?

Don’t you think these questions are getting a little…personal?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387Hmmm. 

I’m not sure what to do with this one.

On the off chance she’s stupid for a reason, how about we give away a copy of her book?

PKO_Alien 3 0003387That’s a stupid reason

to give away a book.

Stupid reason for a stupid person?

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PKO_Alien 3 0003387Oh, okay.

We’ll give away the stupid book.

Yessssssssssssssss!

Hey, Denise… I don’t really think you’re stupid

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I know 🙂

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There you have it!  Comment below, and try to make poor Denise feel better after all that.

If you’d like to find out more about Denise Moncrief and her books, click on over to  http://www.denisemoncrief.blogspot.com/
JenniFer_EatonF

The Little Blue Lady From Mars © Jennifer M. Eaton.

By Request: Who verses Whom

Before I get on to this, I have an overall opinion (I know, shocking)

The English language is evolving rapidly.  Whom is one of those words that is unfortunately falling into the realm of obsolescence.  Mainly, this is from lack of use due to people not understanding how to use it.

Also, when you do use it, whether or not you use it correctly, you end up sounding “hoity-toity” because it is one of those words that has become synonymous with “upper class” for some reason.

So, if you don’t mind sounding hoity toity, and you can stop in the middle of a sentence to figure it out… this is what you need to do:

Decide if the “who or whom” is replacing the word “he/she or him/her”

He/she=who

Him/her=whom.

***Let’s explore this, shall we?***

Who/whom fed the dog?

Eric (he) fed the dog. (Chloe is a happy puppy)

He=who

Therefore, Who is correct.  “Who fed the dog?”

Who/whom should I ask?

Should I ask for he? (NO) Should I ask for him? (YES)

Him=whom

So, Whom is correct.  “Whom should I ask?”

(yeah, like anyone is actually going to say that, right?  Do you hear the hoity-toityness?

Here is an example from Grammar Girl:

We all know who pulled that prank.

But

We want to know on whom the prank was pulled.

Now, let’s be serious.  Does anyone see what I’m seeing?  If you tried to use the second “whom” example in your novel, unless you are writing Historical Romance, people would laugh at you.  Who in their right mind is going to say “We want to know on whom the prank was pulled.”?

You guessed it:  no one.

My suggestion?  Use who, even if it is not correct… especially if it is in speech.  Unless you have a character that is a grammarian, I see no reason to use the word “whom” in realistic speech anymore.

Sad, but true.  Goodbye, whom.  We will miss you.  Please say hello to “whilst” for me.