Tag Archives: Eatons

Do you have a second to see if this works?

This is going to be a tad longer than a normal Sunday Snippet.  Sorry, but I need a few last-minute set of eyes.

Fire in the Woods is days from being done, and I decided I needed to add a little something, and I don’t want to send the work out to query without another few opinions on this.

I am adding a phone call/message from Dad.  A beta mentioned that if their daughter were missing that they would be ringing her cell phone off the hook.  I added a ringing phone, but I now decided to add a message, and I need to know if it’s believable.

Here’s the set-up:  You are a Dad, and a Major in the Army.  Your daughter just took off with Public Enemy Number One.  There is a huge manhunt going on. She’s not answering her phone. Does this sound like a believable message to leave on her cell phone? (From Jess’s point of view)

swish swivel squiggle 2

My fingers tightened on my phone as I began to slip it into my pocket.  The thought of the message from unavailable tightened my chest.  What if it was Dad?

“David, hold on for a second.”

I leaned against the back of the building and turned on my phone. David propped himself beside me and grabbed a banana from the bag.  He perused each end, and I quickly opened it for him.

He smiled.  “Thanks.”

I moved past Maggie’s message, touched unavailable, and brought my phone to my ear.

My father’s sigh tore my soul in two.

“I guess I can’t blame you for not answering.” A slight hum vibrated the casing against my cheek. “I saw the surveillance footage, and it’s pretty obvious you’re not a hostage. I can only imagine what he told you to make you trust him.” I glanced at David as he chewed his banana.  Dad’s voice quavered. “Sweetheart, you need to understand that he is a soldier, wounded behind enemy lines. He is not above lying to a seventeen-year-old girl to get what he wants.” I could imagine Dad pacing the floor, rubbing his hand across his tightly cropped head.  “Jess, you’ve always been like your mother, and I know there’s no changing your mind once you’ve made it up, so I’m not going to bother asking you to turn him in.”

Really? You gotta be kidding me.

“But what I do want is for you to get away from him. Just wait for him to be distracted and run as fast as you can.” I could almost sense him gritting his teeth.  “We will find him, Jess. And you know that I’m not going to sleep until you’re safe.” Muffled voices spoke in the background behind my father’s steady breathing.  “Please come back.  I can’t lose you, too.”

The call ended, and I powered down my phone.  I stared at the blank screen as my father’s words bled into me.

I can’t lose you, too.

I’d never considered the possibility of anything bad actually happening to me. I was safe with David, wasn’t I?

David popped the last of the banana into his mouth and tossed the rest into the trash beside a loading dock. What would happen if the Army cornered us?  Would there be shooting? Would David protect me, or use me as a shield?

David slipped his hands into his pockets as he strolled back to me, his smile easing any uncertainty.

My conscience fought to call Dad— to let him know everything would be all right, but I knew he’d just try to convince me to come home. I slipped the phone into my pocket.

“Are you all right?” David asked.

I nodded, biting my lip as Dad’s voice haunted me. You know that I’m not going to sleep until you’re safe.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  Sorry, Dad.

“We need to find a place to hide for the night.”

swish swivel squiggle 2

The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

Note:  Those who have not been participating have been removed to save on critiquer’s “click” time.
















What are you Thankful for?

I’m sure this is going to be a trend today. What are you thankful for?

As I pack up my kids and my dog for a long trip into the mountains to see my family, I found myself thinking about this more this year than I normally do.

***What is Thanksgiving?***

Everyone in America knows the roots of Thanksgiving. It was a three-day feast celebrated by 13 colonists and 90 Native Americans. They gave thanks to God for safely bringing them to the new world. Interesting fact: Three of the colonists were Eatons, and according to my husband, are direct descendants – neat bragging rights for my kids. Anyway… President Lincoln made it a national holiday in 1863, and we have celebrated it ever since.

In time, I think it has lost a lot of its original meaning. For many, it is just a day to eat until you want to puke, and get ready for a marathon shopping trip the next day (which now, you can start at 12:00 in the morning on Friday—nuts)

***Be thankful for what you have***

I think it is important though, to remember the original intentions of the colonists. Now, I am not going to get all religious on you. But everyone SHOULD be thankful for what they have. No matter what you believe in, nothing should be taken for granted. Whether you believe that you are blessed by what you have, or if it is just the product of hard work, BE THANKFUL FOR IT.

What am I thankful for?

Honestly, everything. Even my trials. All the hardships in my life make me stronger. Of course, I am a little more thankful for the nice things in my life… my husband, my children, my home, my job, etc… I might be just a little less thankful for my trials, but I welcome them just the same.

***Are you thankful for your gifts? Do you use them?***

For the past few weeks, I have heard several speakers talk on multiple subjects in different places. All of them, for some reason, shifted their main topics to “using the gifts that have been given to you”.

About twelve years ago, I stopped using the one solid, strong gift that was given to me. I stopped writing. I got wrapped up in motherhood and corporate America. A few years ago, I decided I needed to start writing again.

It was a rough start. My ideas and imagination were solid. My ability to transform it into words was solid, but after such a long stretch, I needed to re-learn the “craft” of writing. I needed to re-learn how to evolve it on a page.

I am thankful for all the people I met in the past few years who saw the potential in my story. I am thankful that after some practice, I am almost as good as I was when I wrote novels just for fun.

I am thankful for the people who coaxed me into creating this blog, and I am thankful that so many people are learning what “not to do” before they make the same mistakes I did.

I am thankful for all the new cyber friends I have made, and the internet for introducing me to people all over the world.

Most of all, I am thankful for the ability to create something that others can enjoy. Whether it is writing on this blog, or writing my novels, I need to remember that I have been given a gift, and I promise that I will do my best not to waste it again.

To my husband: Yes Dear, that means I will get off my stinking butt and finally get published in 2012.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jennifer Eaton