Author Archives: Jennifer M Eaton

Read Chapter Three of @JenniferMEaton ‘s FIRE IN THE WOODS for free! Question and answer session after. @Month9Books

Hi there!

Welcome to day three of five chapters of FIRE IN THE WOODS. Enjoy!

Fire in the Woods Cover

Chapter 3

I sprinted down my street and stopped at the edge of the sidewalk. Busted. Dad’s car sat in his favorite parking space, still creaking as the engine cooled. How in God’s name was I supposed to sneak a bag of ice out of the house with Dad home? The back door!

The handle of the rear screen door clicked as I tiptoed into the kitchen.

Dad’s voice came from the living room. “I did tell her to stay home. Mom, I just don’t know what to do with her anymore. She doesn’t follow orders at all.”

Why was he talking to Grandma about me? Didn’t matter. I had to get that ice. I inched toward the freezer.

“I know she’s not one of my soldiers. Believe me.  If she was, she’d think about the big picture and not focus on herself all the time. And she wouldn’t do such stupid things. I swear she does this to piss me off.”

I gritted my teeth and slid the ice tray out of the freezer. What dad considered stupid things were all the things that were important to me that he didn’t understand. If he’d look up and beyond that stupid uniform he wore all the time, he’d realize there was more to life than—

“And this dumb photography thing—dammit Mom, I wish you never bought her that camera.”

I froze. My heart wiggled its way into my throat.

“Give her space? Let her make her mistakes? What kind of advice is that?”

Photography wasn’t a mistake. It was my life, my passion, my—

“Mom, I need help with her. I thought I could manage it alone, but I can’t. All I’m asking is for you to come for a week or so, just until school starts. There’s too much going on and I just can’t trust her anymore.”

Can’t trust me?

Grandma?

My stomach did a somersault and missed the landing. The ice container slipped out of my hands and crashed on the floor.

“Mom, she’s back. I gotta go.”

I dropped to my knees, taking deep breaths as I scooped the slippery cubes off the linoleum. My hands shook. Why couldn’t he understand how much that camera meant to me? Why couldn’t he understand that his dreams weren’t the same as mine? I shoved the container back into the freezer and sat down at the kitchen table. I doodled the deer’s antlers on the edge of a pad, trying to calm myself down as I prepared for the impending fight.

Dad barreled around the corner. “Jess, where have you been?”

“I told you, I went to the store.”

“You were supposed to stay home.”

“You said last night. I went out this morning.”

His face reddened. “When I tell you to stay home, I need you to stay home.”

“I left a note and everything, didn’t I? And I called, like a good little soldier, but as usual, you didn’t pick up the phone. You never pick up the phone.”

“Don’t you try to turn this around on me.”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t do any more stupid things.” I pushed past him and stormed up the stairs.

“Jessica!”

I slammed my bedroom door. The covers poofed up around me as I flopped onto my bed. Only think about myself? Dumb photography? What did he know? I rolled over and hugged my pillow. It was the same argument, different day. Nothing would change. Ever.

By now, Dad was probably half way to counting to a hundred to calm down. He’d need to get to two-hundred before he’d come up here and give his stylized lame apology. God, I hated that part.

I rubbed my face, remembering why I’d come home in the first place. I needed to find a way to smuggle some ice past Dad. But how? There was no chance of getting out of the house again until he stopped focusing on me.

A prisoner until the game played out, I decided to kill time with Maggie. I slipped my phone out of my pocket, and dialed her up. “Hey girl.”

“Hey, you. What’s up?”

“My dad as usual, but guess what just happened in the woods? I was chasing after a deer—”

“Again?”

“Yeah. Anyway, there was this noise, and it felt like my head would explode, and then there was this guy, and he heard it too.”

“A guy?” She giggled. “Okay, now I’m interested. I thought you were going to tell me another stupid Jess chases an animal story. So, fess up. Was he cute?”

A sigh slipped from my lips. “Didn’t you hear about the noise? I mean, it was really loud. Did you hear anything?”

“Nope, no noise. Now spill it about the guy.”

I rolled over onto my stomach. “His name is David.”

“Isn’t David the name you made up for your dream prince?”

I giggled. “Omigosh, how’d you remember that? We were, like, thirteen.”

“I remember those juicy stories you made up about him—all tall, dark and Greek-God delicious.”

The more I thought about it, David actually did look a lot like—

“So was he running through the woods taking pictures of animals, too?”

“No. Can you keep a secret?” I rolled onto my back. “He’s hiding out there from someone.”

“Hiding? Girl, you’re not hooking up with a serial killer or anything, right?”

“He’s not a serial killer. He’s like, seventeen, eighteen tops.”

“Didn’t you see that movie Scream? Those two were—”

“Can we come back to reality please?”

“Okay. Okay. Okay. So, what’s he running from?”

“Dunno.” I rubbed my fingertips, remembering the heat radiating from his skin. “He said it wasn’t the cops. I’m hoping he talks to me when I go back.”

Maggie snickered. “You’re going to meet him again in the woods? Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, are you finally going to do something naughty? And without me?”

I sat up, knocking the pillow off my bed. “No. I just want to help him. He’s hurt.”

“I bet you want to help him.” She giggled.

“Stop. You are so bad.”

“But seriously, Jess. You don’t know anything about this guy.”

I chewed the top of my lip, thinking about Dad’s conversation with Grandma. Was I being stupid? I needed to make a good decision here. “You know what? You’re right. Can you come out there with me?”

“You know I’d love to meet your prince charming but I need to go school shopping while my mom’s credit card is still squeaking, and tonight is family movie night. No getting out of that in the Baker household.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” Oh well. So much for reinforcements.

“You know what? Just don’t go. Tip off the MP’s that someone’s out there, and they’ll find him.”

“You want me to turn him in?”

“No, not turn him in, but if he’s in trouble … You know … They have shelters for kids like that. Confidential and all. They won’t call his parents.”

I fingered the chain on my neck. “No. It doesn’t feel right. He needs my help.”

Someone knocked on my door three times.

“Maggs, I gotta go. My Dad’s revving up for another pep talk.”

“Okay, but be careful if you go out there, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.” I clicked off the phone and opened my door.

Dad’s hand was poised at eye level, about to knock again. His chest expanded for the obligatory breath before an apology speech. “Jess, I don’t want to fight with you. I just wish you’d listen once in a while.”

I folded my arms. “I only went to the store.” With a little side-trip into the woods.

“It’s not just that and you know it.” He ran his palm across the top of his cropped hair. “You know it’s been hard without your mom here, but I’m trying.”

“I know.” Dang he was good with the guilt trips. An uncomfortable silence lingered, stifling me like an invisible curtain.

“Listen. I’ve never been able to keep you cooped up, and I realize you’re into all that photography stuff, but until things die down and I can confirm everything is secure, I need you to stay in the house.”

Crap.

You see dad, I can’t stay in the house. There’s this drop-dead gorgeous guy in the woods, and I promised to bring him ice. Nah. That wouldn’t go over well. Certain things a girl should just keep to herself.

“Dad, what’s going on? And what was all that buttercup stuff about last night?”

He rubbed his face with his palms. “You weren’t really old enough when your mom and I came up with the word buttercup. I was hoping you’d understand what I was trying to say.”

“Mom told me once to listen if you ever said buttercup during an emergency. That’s all I remember.”

“Well, we were in an emergency. You did good.”

“There was someone on the phone, wasn’t there? They were making sure you didn’t tell me anything.”

Dad leaned against my doorframe. “You know I’m not allowed to talk about work.”

“Work smirk. I don’t care about security clearance.”

“There was a possibility of danger. I just needed to know you were safe” He kissed my forehead. “I gotta get back.”

“You’re leaving again?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, but the whole base is on alert status.”

“For how long?”

“It depends on how long it takes us to find …”

I waited for a word that didn’t come. “Find what?”

His head tilted to the side. “Nice try.”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

So, the army was looking for something. Interesting.

“I’ll be back in the morning for a bit. We’ll have breakfast, okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

Dad headed down the stairs, and I counted to a hundred before following.

So, the army was all jacked up in another one of Dad’s top-secret operations. I still had no idea what Dad did in the army, but what I could gather from Maggie’s eavesdropping habit, Dad’s division dealt with dangers of the “who” kind, not the “what” kind. They called my dad to track people down. If Dad was involved, whoever they were looking for had to be pretty big potatoes.

David was hiding from someone, and he was hurt. Could he be running from the military? A vision of David’s bright eyes and the perfect cut to his jaw flashed through my mind. I shook my head. Why would Dad be hunting a kid? He certainly had better things to do. Terrorists and the like were out there. Real criminals. There was no way Dad could be looking for David. My gaze settled on my camera case.  I grabbed it … just in case.

Shooting over to the kitchen, I opened up the cupboard, pulled out a gallon-sized Ziploc and filled it with ice. The bag fit neatly into the bottom of my backpack. I threw together a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and tossed them in with a couple bottles of water and my camera. The ice chilled my back as I threw the pack over my shoulder.

I hesitated, my hand on the front door. Dad wanted me to stay home. Until everything was secure. That meant that there was a safety risk, and if Dad was involved, it had to be a pretty big one. He expected me to be a good little soldier and stay inside. But how could I?

David was out there, alone. Hurt. I couldn’t just leave him there, especially if there was some kind of dangerous fugitive on the loose. I’d made him a promise, and I had to keep it.

[end of chapter one preview]

So there we are! The third chapter of FIRE IN THE WOODS. How do you feel about Dad’s attitude toward Jess? Did Dad push Jess to go back out there by insinuating she thinks of no one but herself? What would you do if you were in Jess’s shoes?

To read the fourth chapter of FIRE IN THE WOODS click here. (Available after December 4)

JenniFer_EatonF

Read Chapter Two of @JenniferMEaton ‘s FIRE IN THE WOODS for free! Question and answer session after. @Month9Books

Woo-hoo! Here we are at day two of five chapters of FIRE IN THE WOODS. Enjoy!

Fire in the Woods Cover

Chapter 2

Trumpets!

My eyes popped open as round after round of incessant choruses of Reveille echoed over the base PA system, shocking the world and demanding everyone get up and take notice that the ungodly time of O-six-hundred-hours had arrived.

A groan escaped my lips as I pushed up off my desk. Every muscle in my neck and back screamed at the same time. I must have fallen asleep waiting for my pictures to upload. Rubbing the back of my neck, I stood as the last trumpet bellowed its obnoxious call.

God, I hated that stinking song.

The screen-saver flicked off when I jiggled my mouse. The website from last night was still waiting for me to confirm my order. I smiled and clicked the button. I’d be a few hours before the store opened and I could pick up the pictures that would change my life. Once I added the best of yesterday’s shots to my portfolio, no one would dream of refusing my college application.

The sun sparkled through my windowpanes. In the distance, three dark birds circled over the forest in a beautiful, blue sky. A thin tendril of smoke trailed from the trees, a small reminder of yesterday’s chaos. The coolness of the glass enlivened my skin as I pressed my forehead against the window. Despite the unbelievable shots I’d taken, I was glad it was finally over.

I stumbled through the hallway and peeked in dad’s room. His bed hadn’t been slept in. So much for his day off. Ignoring the grumbling of my impatient stomach, I treated my sore muscles to a shower and got dressed.

The digital clock on my dresser blinked four-seventeen. So much for the fool-proof back-up battery. I made a mental note to fix the time later.

While liberating a few knots from my hair, I made a beeline to the refrigerator. Fruit, eggs, milk … Boring. I shoved aside a few food savers and smiled.

“Bingo.”

I slid out a plate of German chocolate layer cake. Smacking my lips in anticipation, I plopped back in front of my computer and scanned the photos I’d sent to the drugstore print shop. I could hear Dad now, “Why don’t you just send the pictures to the PX. It’s cheaper.”

Yeah, they’re cheaper all right—and pixely.

Not to mention the fact that they might confiscate a few of the shots I’d taken of the soldiers. My brow furrowed as I scanned the photos of the platoon gathered near the edge of the forest. In every shot, the soldiers were facing the woods. If they were there to keep the people safe, wouldn’t they be facing out?

Swallowing down the last bite of cake, I walked downstairs and peeked out the front window. No sign of Dad yet, but I wasn’t about to sit there and wait for him. I dialed up his cell, but his voicemail answered.

“Hey Dad, it’s Jess. Everything’s fine. No problems last night. I’m going to walk down to the drugstore to pick up some pictures, okay? Don’t worry, I’m going in completely the opposite direction from where the fire was, so I won’t be anywhere near the cleanup. See you later.”

I hung up and grabbed a notepad and pen. Standard Major Martinez protocol dictated a note as well as a message. I flipped to an empty page and let him know where I was going, sealing it with a smiley-face.

Outside, a summer breeze caressed my face. I inhaled the crisp morning air and crinkled my nose at the slight hint of smoke lingering from the fire. Yuck.

Quiet greeted me throughout the compound, as if yesterday’s calamity never happened. Funny, how quickly everything adjusts back to normal. I guess the fire really wasn’t as big a deal as I thought.

The heaviness still hung in the air, though. Not that I thought a plane crash would take it away. Everything about Maguire, and the other three military bases I’d lived on, stifled me like a prison without walls, and the pressure seemed to tighten every day.

Day trips with Mom used to help, but now that she was gone, and with Dad sinking further and further into his shell … Well, things just weren’t the same without Mom.

Relief swept over me as I passed the guard shack and walked into the real world. I laughed at myself. I was only a few feet away from military ground, and most of those houses were probably still Army or Air Force families all squashed together since they merged Fort Dix with Maguire. It was civilian land, though, and it smelled like freedom. Well, smoky freedom at the moment, but still freedom.

I headed toward the woods and allowed my thoughts to drift up and away, clearing my mind and letting it wander. Senior year began in a few weeks, and I’d have to start looking for colleges.

Looking … funny. There was only one choice. Columbia. Their arts department was the tops. My application was already filled out, and these photographs were going to cinch it for me.

Dad dreamed of me going to West Point. We’d already sent in the paperwork, but I didn’t care that every Martinez since my great-grandfather went there. I had to live my life, not his.

A larger than life advertisement on the side of a passing NJ Transit bus made me smile. Fire in the Woods, starring Jared Linden and Chris Stevens. In theaters September tenth. Jared leaned forward in the photo, ready to pounce off the side of the bus. Chris Stevens stood beside him, shirtless with hands in pockets and beautiful blond tresses falling seductively toward one eye. I loved Chris’s new haircut, and Jared—Yum. Five foot ten inches of pure tall-dark-and-handsome. They were both just to die for.

A sudden movement drew my attention from the bus. I skidded to a stop. To my right, maybe a hundred feet from the forest, stood the most beautiful buck I’d ever seen. I held my breath trying not to move as he stared me down. A majestic twelve-point rack of antlers scrolled from his head, and his white and brown tail flickered incessantly. After a long, breathless wait, his mouth swirled in a chewing motion. Nature in its most beautiful form.

An eerie shadow cast across the grass as the sun shone through his rack. The silhouette formed little fingers that seemed to reach for me. Wow. If I took that picture at just the right angle …

Shoot. My camera sat safely at home, not attached to my hip where it should have been. Diversity in the portfolio was a must. I needed a picture of that guy. I inched forward and the buck raised his head, shifting the shadow from sight.

“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I won’t hurt you.”

I reached into my pocket and fumbled for my phone. The aperture on the camera feature opened, and I lifted the screen toward him. Without warning, the deer sprang into the air. It flipped its tail toward me and bolted into the woods.

“Awe, man.”

Clutching my camera-phone, I ran to the trees and squinted into the brambles. The buck’s dark, shiny eyes blinked within the brush. He chewed twice before he trotted deeper into the foliage.

“Come on, dude, I just want a picture.”

I ramrodded my way into the forest, the branches whipping back as I set them free. The morning warmth gave way to cool, damp air beneath the trees as I hopped over a group of fallen logs and ducked under a giant poison ivy vine climbing up a tree. I paused, listening to the woods. Silence greeted me, followed by the chirps of two birds chasing each other from tree to tree in the upper canopy. I slowed and fought to catch my breath. He was gone.

My chest throbbed as I leaned my hands on my knees. Sheesh, he was fast. I chuckled to myself. What was I thinking?

A puff of smoke rose over some brush on my right. I pulled the bushes aside and found the remains of a small smoldering campfire. Some people were so irresponsible. I tossed dirt on the embers until they winked out. Good deed for the day: done.

Turning to head back out of the woods, I froze. A noise blasted through the forest, screeching like a smoke alarm gone haywire. A stabbing pain tore into my brain. I slammed my hands over my ears, but I couldn’t fight the drills boring inside me. Head pounding, I howled, but my own voice fell victim to the vibrations within my mind.

I dropped to my knees. “Please stop! Make it stop!”

The squalling encompassed everything. Tears pooled in my eyes, blurring my vision before trailing down my cheeks. I wailed in misery.

Until it stopped.

I shook, reeling from the unexpected silence. A faint hum lingered, a frightening reminder of the sound’s intensity. Hands still covering my ears, I sucked in a short breath and dared another. Holding as still as possible, I scanned the trees.

What the heck was going on?

Sobbing, I blinked back fresh tears and wiped my cheek clean. A leaf fell to the ground at my feet, but the rest of the forest remained motionless. The chirping birds had vanished. Nothing stirred to disrupt the eerie quiet—not even a gentle rustle of the wind.

I cringed, frightened by a thrash behind a large fallen tree. Ignoring the instinct to flee like the buck, I inched forward and peeked over the log.

A guy, maybe seventeen or eighteen, lay curled in a ball on the ground. His hands pressed against his ears as he whimpered through twisted lips. A tight-fitting white tee-shirt clung to his back, slightly untucked from his faded blue jeans. His soulful whimper clawed my heart as he rocked steadily on the woodland floor.

Biting my lip, I mustered up the courage to speak. “Are you okay?”

He grunted. “Please stop! Make it stop!”

“The noise? But it’s gone now.”

He twitched and moaned. The brush beneath him crunched with every movement.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Just breathe. It’s over. Everything will be all right.”

Panic centered in my chest, as if something reached inside me and tugged. A haze seeped into my thoughts, and I shook my head to clear it. What was wrong with me?

The boy hadn’t reacted to my questions, almost as if he couldn’t hear me. A helpless, panicked swirl within my ribs gave me pause. I had to do something, but what?

My hands balled into fists. “What’s wrong?”

I shoved aside a stray branch and jumped over the log. The boy stopped rocking as I approached, but his body quaked with long, labored breaths.

“It’s okay. It’s over.”

He didn’t respond. I looked through the tree trunks and over the bramble and ferns … only leaves and vines and trees blending into more trees for as far as I could see. There was no one else to help him. I ran my fingers through the hair at my temples, massaging the sensitive skin where my brain still pulsed with a dull ache.

Pull yourself together, Jess.

The guy pushed up on one arm. His long, dark bangs fell over his face. Cautiously, I placed my hand on his back.

“Hey, are you all right?”

His entire body flinched. He popped out of his crouch, shifting away with a cry of alarm. He kicked his feet against the leaves and dirt, backing himself away. A murmur escaped his lips as he smashed against a tree trunk. His turquoise-blue eyes widened. His gaze darted in every direction.

Were his eyes actually turquoise? I tilted my head to the side. Yeah, they really were. Must be contacts or something.

I raised my palms, keeping my distance. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”

He focused on me, mouth open, taking in huge gulps of air. His right hand reached up and held his left shoulder as he bit his bottom lip. Beautiful white teeth grazed his slightly tanned skin before he closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

I stepped closer. “Are you hurt?”

The guy scrambled away, sliding beside the tree.

I raised my hands. “Okay, okay. I was only trying to help.” I eased down on a patch of moss. “What do you think that was anyway?”

His eyes centered on me—freaking me out with their odd color. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes burned and grew heavy—until he blinked.

A waft of air entered my lungs, and I let it out slowly. Why was I holding my breath? I rubbed my eyes. What was wrong with me? I felt, I don’t know, different—like a cloud covered me. No, like a blanket. A nice, safe blanket.

A wince contorted the boy’s face as he stretched his neck. He crinkled his nose, his breathing settling to a more normal pace.

His gaze seemed to search through me, and the foggy feeling deepened. I relaxed, taking in his strong round cheeks and delicate jawline. I must have won the lottery or something … stuck in the middle of the woods with a guy who—come to think of it—looked a lot like Jared Linden.

“So,” I began, trying not to focus on those muscular arms nearly busting out of his tight tee-shirt. “What’s your name?”

“Your name?” His hair fell in loose waves along the bangs, flipped back over short-cropped sides … exactly like Chris Stevens’s hair, but much darker—almost black.

“Yeah, you know—your name.” I pointed to my chest. “I’m Jess.”

I waited for an introduction that didn’t come. He just looked at me, blinking hard like something was stuck in his eyes.

“And you are?”

He squinted. “David?” His eyebrows arched, almost as if he were making sure his name was okay.

“Are you asking me, or telling me?”

A maddening grin shot across his face. Jared Linden eat your heart out. Damn, this guy looked like he should be on a magazine cover, not out traipsing around in the woods—or whatever he was doing out here.

“David,” he said. “My name is David.”

“Okay, now that we got that out of the way, are you all right? Is your shoulder hurt?”

He shifted to the left. A grimace twisted his lips. “My shoulder? Umm, yeah. It hurts in the back.”

“I took first-aid last year. Do you want me to take a look at it?”

“Take a look at it?” He blinked twice.

“Yeah. You’ll need to take your shirt off, okay?”

“Shirt off?” He placed his hand down, crushing the jagged leaves of a fern.

“Okay, did you hit your head or something, because you’re, like, repeating everything I say.”

He blinked his eyes hard again. His breathing came in shallow wheezes, as if every lungful hurt. I half expected to find a gunshot wound, but I’d probably have seen the blood by now. At least I hoped so. It’d be embarrassing if I passed out and he ended up taking care of me instead.

“Here. Let me help you.” I reached for the bottom of his tee-shirt and helped him lift it over his head.

“Ouch.” David grabbed his shoulder before I could get the shirt over the other arm. The white fabric hung in the crook of his elbow, dragging the ground and picking up a few pine needles.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I shifted to kneel behind him. His gaze tracked me like I had a knife or something. “Okay, let’s take a look.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek and took the longest look of my life. He was flawless. Absolutely flawless. Slightly bronzed, unblemished skin covered strong shoulders. He almost seemed air-brushed. I reached out to touch him, and his muscles rippled and tensed.

A gasp escaped my lips. Dang. I mean seriously: Da-ha-hang. If I didn’t distract myself, I was gonna drool all over him. “So, what do you think that loud noise was?”

“Loud noise?”

“There you go again, repeating me.” My jaw fell open. “Holy cow. You weren’t in the plane crash were you?”

“Plane crash?”

“Still repeating.”

He shook his head. “No. No plane.”

A light wind blew overhead, bringing life back to the forest. The birds resumed chirping as I slipped beside him. “Did you see it, the crash?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“You didn’t get hit by shrapnel or anything, did you?”

His lips formed a word, but stopped. “I, I don’t know.”

“Crap, talk about picking the wrong time to be in the woods.” I moved behind him again, and ran my hand along his back. I couldn’t find any trace of injury, but his skin seemed hotter than Hel…well, really hot.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

His shoulders twitched. “You asking if I was okay.”

“Don’t you remember holding your head and screaming in agony?”

He rubbed his forehead. “Oh, umm, yeah. It was … strange.”

“Strange is kind of an understatement, don’t you think?” I removed my hand. “I can’t see any swelling. Where does it hurt?”

“In the shoulder middle.”

I ran my hand across his back lightly once, and applied gentle pressure in the center of the blade.

He cried out.

“Oh, Sorry.” It hit me that I’d barely passed first-aid class. I had no idea what I was doing.

He grumbled, flinching. “Can you first aid it?”

I laughed. “First aid it?”

“Can you help me?”

I sat back, just missing a daddy long-legs scurrying across the ground. “David, I think you need to go to a hospital.”

He raised his hand. “No. No hospital.”

“But you’re hurt. You probably need an x-ray.”

“No. I definitely don’t need one of those.” He stood and cried out, clutching his arm.

“Listen, are you in trouble or something? Are you running from the police?”

“No … not the police.”

I propped myself against a small tree. “So you are running. From who? You’re not, like, a criminal or anything, right?”

“No. I just don’t want to be found.” His gaze drifted downward.

Way in the back of my mind, a little trickle of doubt and fear struggled against an overwhelming need to help him. I should have done the smart thing and run, but I couldn’t just leave the poor guy there.

“Listen. You don’t have to tell me what’s up, but you’re hurt. You at least need some ice.”

He looked up. “Ice?”

“You know—to keep it from swelling.”

A deep furrow crossed his brow. “Can you get me ice?”

“I guess. Do you want to walk back to my place with me?” I shuddered. Did I just invite a guy I didn’t even know back to my house?

“No. Bring it here.”

Relief washed over me, but not because I was afraid of David. I was more afraid of Dad finding me alone with a boy. Bring ice? No problem. I glanced around the trees, no longer sure which way I’d come from.

“The only problem is I’m not sure I’ll be able to find you again. I’m not even sure if I can find my way out.”

He motioned behind me. “You are six-hundred and twenty-seven point five meters north east of where you entered the woods.”

I stared at him as my geek-meter went haywire. “You’re kidding, right?”

He paled slightly and shrugged, glancing away. “Yes, of course. You did come from that direction, though.”

He was probably some kind of a math nerd or something. Damn cute math nerd, though. “Okay. I’ll be right back.” I started walking.

“Jess?”

My hair grazed my check as I turned back toward him. “Yeah?”

David eased himself against the log. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” As long as my dad isn’t home, that is.

I imagined all the possible Major Martinez interrogation questions. None of them ended up good. I turned to the woods and quickened my pace. I had to get in and out of the house before Dad got home.

[end of chapter two preview]

So there’s the second chapter of FIRE IN THE WOODS. What did you think of Jess and David? What would you do if you found a hurt boy in the woods? Does anything odd seem to be going on?

To read the third chapter of FIRE IN THE WOODS click here. (Available after December 3)

JenniFer_EatonF

Read Chapter One of @JenniferMEaton ‘s FIRE IN THE WOODS for free! Question and answer session after. @Month9Books

Woo-hoo! Here we go.

Day one of five chapters of FIRE IN THE WOODS. Enjoy!

Fire in the Woods Cover

Chapter 1

The walls shook.

My favorite sunset photograph crashed to the floor. Again.

Why the Air Force felt the need to fly so low over the houses was beyond me. Whole sky up there, guys. Geeze.

I picked up the frame and checked the glass. No cracks, thank goodness. I hung the photo back on the wall with the rest of my collection: landscapes, animals, daily living, the greatest of the great. Someday my photos would be featured in galleries across the country. But first I had to graduate high school and get my butt off Maguire Air Force Base.

One more year—that’s all that separated me from the real world. The clock wasn’t ticking fast enough. Not for me, at least.

Settling back down at my desk, I flipped through the pages of August’s National Geographic. Dang, those pictures were good. NG photographers had it down. Emotion, lighting, energy …

I contemplated the best of my own shots hanging around my room. Would they ever compare?

Another jet screamed overhead.

planes onlyStinking pilots! I lunged off the chair to save another photo from falling. The entire house vibrated. This was getting ridiculous.

Dad came in and leaned his bulky frame against my door. “Redecorating?”

“Not by choice.” I blew a stray hair out of my eyes. “Are they ever going to respect the no-fly zone?”

“Unlikely.”

“Then next time you have my permission to shoot them down.”

“You want me to shoot down a multi-million-dollar jet because a picture fell off the wall?”

“Why not? Isn’t that what the Army does? Protect the peace and all?” I tried to hold back my grin. Didn’t work.

He grimaced while rubbing the peach fuzz he called a haircut.

So much for sarcasm. “It was a joke, Dad.”

A smile almost crossed his lips.

Come on, Dad. You can do it. Inch those lips up just a smidge.

His nose flared.

Nope. No smile today. Must be Monday—or any other day of the week ending in y.

The walls shuddered as the engines of another aircraft throttled overhead, followed by an echoing rattle.

Dad’s gaze shot to the ceiling. His jaw tightened. So did mine. Those planes were flying way too low.

My stomach turned. “What—”

“Shhh.” His hand shot out, silencing me. “That sounds like …” His eyes widened. “Jessica, get down!”

A deafening boom rolled through the neighborhood. The rest of my pictures tumbled off the walls.

Dad pulled me to the floor. His body became a human shield as a wave of heat blasted through the open window. A soda can shimmied off my desk and crashed to the floor. Cola fizzled across the carpet.

My heart pummeled my ribcage as Dad’s eyes turned to ice. The man protecting me was no longer my father, but someone darker: trained and dangerous.

I placed my hand on his chest. “Dad, what…”

He rolled off me and stood. “Stay down.”

Like I was going anywhere.

As he moved toward the window, he picked up a picture of Mom from the floor and set it back on my dresser. His gaze never left the curtains. How did he stay so calm? Was this what it was like when he was overseas? Was this just another day at the office for him?

The light on my desk dimmed, pulsed, and flickered out. The numbers on the digital alarm clock faded to black. That couldn’t be good.

Were we being attacked? Why had we lost power?

The National Geographic slid off my desk, landing opened to a beautiful photograph of a lake. The caption read: Repairing the Ozone Layer. I would have held the photo to the light, inspected the angle to see how the photographer achieved the shine across the lake—if the world hadn’t been coming to an end outside my window.

I shoved the magazine away from the soda spill. My heartbeat thumped in cadence with my father’s heavy breathing. “Dad?”

Without turning toward me, he shot out his hand again. My lips bolted shut as he drew aside the drapes. From my vantage point, all I could see were fluffy white clouds over a blue sky. Nothing scary. Just regular old daytime. Nothing to worry about, right?

“Sweet Mother of Jesus,” Dad muttered, backing from the window. His gaze shot toward me. “Stay here, and stay on the floor. Keep the bed between you and the window.” His hands formed tight fists before he dashed from the room.

Another plane soared over the roof, way too close to the ground. My ceiling fan swayed from the tremor, squeaking in its hanger.

I trembled. Just sitting there—waiting—it was too much. I clutched the gold pendant Mom gave me for my birthday. If she was still with us, she’d be beside me, holding my hand while Dad did his thing—whatever that was.

But she was gone, and if all I could do was cower in my room while Dad ran off to save the world again, I might as well forget about photojournalism right now.

Wasn’t. Gonna. Happen.

Taking a deep breath, I crawled across the floor and inched up toward the windowsill. Sweat spotted my brow as my mind came to terms with what I saw.

PlanesFlames spouted over the trees deep within the adjacent forest, lighting up the afternoon sky. The fire raged, engulfing the larger trees in the center of the woods. I reached for my dresser to grab my camera and realized I’d left it downstairs. Figures.

I gasped as the flames erupted into another explosion.

The photojournalist hiding inside me sucker-punched the frightened teenager who wanted to dash under the bed. This was news. Not snapping pictures was out of the question. I flew down the stairs. The ring of the emergency land-line filled the living room as I landed on the hardwood floor.

Dad grabbed the phone off the wall. “Major Tomás Martinez speaking.”

The phone cord trailed behind him as he paced. His fingers tapped the receiver rhythmically—a typical scenario on the days he received bad news from the Army. I stood rapt watching him, hoping he’d slip up and mention a military secret. Hey, there’s a first time for everything. I’d have to get lucky sooner or later.

“Yes, we lost power here, too … Yes, sir … I understand, sir … Right away, sir.” He hung the receiver back on its stand and glanced in my direction. “I told you to stay upstairs.”

“What’d they say? What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you after I find out.” He snatched his wallet from the counter and slipped the worn leather into the back pocket of his jeans.

“You’re leaving? Now? Did you hear that last explosion?”

“I know. That’s why I’m being called in.” He picked up his keys.

“For what? You’re not a fireman.”

His gaze centered on me. I shivered. Dad in military mode was just. Plain. Scary.

“It’s a plane. A plane went down.”

The memory of the low-flying jets and the rattling of what must have been gunfire seared my nerves.

“Went down or was shot down?” The journalist in me started salivating.

“That’s what I’m going to find out.”

The door creaked as he pushed down the handle. The blare of passing sirens reverberated through the room.

“Why would they shoot down a plane?” I glanced at my camera bag perched on the end table. My shutter finger itched, anticipating juicy photos to add to my portfolio.

“Everything will be fine. For now, just stay in the house.”

“Stay in the house? But this is like, huge. I want to take some pictures.”

His jaw set. That gross vein in his neck twitched. “You can play games later. Right now, I need to know you’re safe.”

“No photojournalist ever made it big by staying safe.”

“Maybe not, but many seventeen-year-olds made it to eighteen that way. Stay here. That’s an order.”

The whooting of a helicopter’s blades cut through the late afternoon sunshine. Butterflies fluttered in my gut as Dad disappeared through the screen door without so much as a backward glance.

Arghhh! PictureSeriously? He expected me to just sit there—with the biggest photo opportunity of my life going on outside?

I ran to the window and brushed the curtain aside. The Air Force pilot who lived across the street ran to his jeep, a duffle bag swinging from his arm. Lieutenant Miller from next door left his house and exchanged nods with Dad as they both slipped into their cars.

The sound of another explosion smacked my ears. The ceiling rattled, and I steadied myself against the wall. How many times could one plane explode? I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax. I lived on a military base for goodness sake. The Army and the freaking Air Force were stationed next door. You couldn’t get much safer than that.

Flopping onto the couch, I clicked the power button on the remote control three times. The blank television screen mocked me. No electricity, idiot.

Another siren howled past the house. My gaze flittered back to my camera case. When in my lifetime would I get another chance to shoot pictures of something like this?

“This is crazy.” I slid my cell phone off the coffee table and dialed my best friend. No service. Ugh!

I grabbed the corded phone. Her voicemail answered: “Hey, this is Maggs. You know what to do.”

“Maggie, it’s Jess. Where are you? The whole world is coming to an end outside. Call me.”

Another helicopter zoomed over the roof. How many was that now? Three? Four?

My gaze trailed to the name above Maggie’s on the contact list.

Bobby.

The part of me that feared the chaos outside yearned to call him. Bobby would come. Leave his post if he had to. Protect me. But did I really want Bobby back in my life?

Not after he and his MP buddies beat up poor Matt Samuels. All the kid did was take me to a movie. It wasn’t even a date, but Bobby didn’t care. If he couldn’t have me, then no one could.

I gritted my teeth as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Suddenly, I wasn’t as scared as I thought.

Tucking back the living room curtains, I snooped on the neighbors gathering outside their houses. Mrs. Sanderson and the lady across the street both herded their kids inside, their faces turned toward the sky. The fear in their eyes struck me. What an amazing photograph that would have been.

A few guys began walking toward the thruway. One of them held a cheap, pocket camera in his hand. He had to be kidding. What kind of shot did he expect to get with that?

I let the curtain fall. Staying in the house was just too much to ask. This was the story of a lifetime. I couldn’t let it slip by without getting something on film.

Grabbing a black elastic band off the end-table, I twisted my hair into a pony tail. One brown lock fell beside my cheek, as it always did. I clipped that sucker back with a barrette and slung my camera case over my shoulder.

I hesitated at the front door. A picture of my parents hung askew beside the window. I straightened the frame. Mom’s smile warmed me, but Dad’s eyes bored through me, daring me to face his wrath if I touched the doorknob. I stood taller, strengthening my resolve. He’d understand after I got into National Geographic.

The odor of smoke and something pungent barraged my nose as I opened the door. A fire truck wailed in the distance, warning me to keep away. But I couldn’t. I pulled my collar up over my nose to blot out the smell and headed toward the main road.

A parade of emergency vehicles whipped by at the end of the street. Lights flashed and sirens blasted through the neighborhood.

The cacophony froze me for a moment. Nothing like this had ever happened before. We lived in New Jersey for goodness sake, not Saudi Arabia. I glanced back at the house. Keeping it in view made me feel safe, but I knew I needed to get closer to get a good shot.

This was it. The big league. I could do this.

Turning left toward the airstrip, I watched the last fire truck become smaller before its whirling lights passed through the gates onto the tarmac. The fire blazed well within the tree line, maybe even farther than I originally thought. The smoke reached into the sky, blotting out the sun. I raised my lens and waited for the clouds to shift and give me the perfect lighting—until a smack on my arm ruined my setup.

Maggie.

A smirk spread across her face. “Hey, Lois Lane. I figured you’d be out here.”

I sighed, watching a flock of fleeing birds that would have maximized the emotion of the shot—if I’d taken it.

“Lois Lane was a reporter. Jimmy Olsen was the photographer.”

“Whatever.” Her golden curls bounced about her face. “This is like, crazy. My dad took off like World War Three or something.”

“Yeah, mine, too.”

I shielded my eyes. The smoke rose in gray billows. Almost pretty. I raised my lens.

“You want to know the scoop?” Maggie’s perky form fidgeted like a toddler who couldn’t hold in a secret. She loved eavesdropping on her father, the general. Unfortunately, that kind of gossip could get you carted off by the MPs. Never stopped her though, and I adored her for it.

“You know I do. Spill it.” I brought the clouds into focus and snapped the shutter three times.

Her grin widened as she feigned a whisper. “It’s not one of ours.”

“What do you mean?” The stench in the air thickened. I covered my nose.

“The plane. They don’t know whose it is. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Heck yeah.” I raised my camera and clicked off ten successive shots. If a terrorist got shot down over American soil, Jess Martinez was going to have pictures to sell. This was the kind of break every photographer dreamed of.

I adjusted my camera-case beside my waist. “I’m going in closer.”

The air around us grew hazy. Maggie coughed. “Are you nuts? This is close enough for me.”

“Stop being such a wuss.” I tugged her wrist. It never took much more to convince her.

Maggie prattled on while I shot off round after round of gripping photographs. My heart fluttered as each preview image appeared on my screen. For once I was actually doing it. I was being the journalist I was meant to be, not the caged-up little girl Dad wanted. And boy, did it feel good.

Jess CameraThe closer we came to the chained-link fence surrounding the runways, the more people gathered around us. A man, ignoring the whimpering Labrador on the end of his leash, gawked at the clouds. Click. Two women caught excited children and dragged them away. Click. The MP from down the street shouted, “Yes sir, right away sir,” into his cell phone and jogged from the scene. Click—all amazing images to add to my portfolio.

Pushing to the front, I slipped my fingers through the metal fencing. The paved tarmac sprawled before me, backing up to the trees. Soldiers on the far side of the airstrip formed barricades against the tree line. I centered my lens between the silver links and chronicled their maneuvers.

A breeze whipped up. The heat slapped my face like sitting too close to a campfire. I covered my lens to protect the glass as the people around us flinched and backed away. One woman ran, crying into a hankie.

“Should we be able to feel the heat from this far away?” Maggie asked, shielding her face with her arm.

I shrugged, unease settling on me as the smoky cloud arched toward us. The breeze stretched the formation, driving it north over our heads and toward the houses.

My stomach did a little fliperoo. The spunky, fearless photojournalist slipped away, leaving a scrawny, slightly-unsure-of-herself teenager behind. “I gotta go.”

“Why?”

“My Dad told me to stay inside. He’ll be calling on the house phone any minute to check on me.”

“The major’s getting more neurotic every day. You’re almost eighteen for goodness sake.”

“I know, but I still get the While You Live Under My Roof lecture every day.”

The ground rattled. Another billow of fire wafted into the sky. I steadied myself, transfixed by the sheer magnitude of the ever-growing bank of smoke.

Wow, did I want to just stand there and use up my memory card—but I wanted to not get grounded more. I began walking backward, snapping off shots with every step.

Maggie strode beside me. “Do you ever stop taking pictures?”

Click.

“Not if I can help it.”

 

 

***

 

 

I shimmied open the front door. On the far side of the living room, the corded phone rattled on the receiver, mid-ring. My keys clanged to the wood floor as I sprang toward the table to grab the handset. “Hello?”

“Where’ve you been?”

“Nowhere. I was—in the bathroom.” I clenched my teeth, holding my breath. Would he buy it?

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why?”

I could imagine his Major Martinez no-nonsense expression on the other side of the phone. “Listen, it’s really important that you stay inside tonight. I’m sorry I can’t be there, but I need you to lock the doors, and stay away from the windows.”

I crinkled my forehead. Sweat settled across my brow. “Why? What’s wrong? There’s nothing, like, nuclear or anything, right?”

There was a pause on the line. “No—nothing nuclear.”

I drew the curtain back from the rear kitchen window. The smoke cloud over the woods had darkened. The smell of burning pine tickled my nose as a humming tone on the other end of the call agitated my ear.

Dad spoke muffled words to someone else. “Jesus H. Christ,” he whispered, returning to the phone.

“Dad, is everything okay?”

“Please just promise me you’ll stay inside tonight.”

Yikes. His Major Tomás Martinez voice had drifted away. That was his ‘daddy’s scared’ voice. I hadn’t heard that tone since the night Mom died. I shuddered. “Dad, if things are that bad, shouldn’t I be with you?” Silence lingered, and a scratching noise reverberated in the background. “Dad, is someone else on the line with us?”

“Jess. I am asking you to stay inside and lock the doors. Can you do that for me … Buttercup?”

Buttercup?

My breath hitched. Crud. That meant something. Buttercup was a word he and Mom used when something was wrong. Something was definitely up. “I got you, Dad. I’ll stay inside. I promise.”

“Thank you.” He paused. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Yeah, okay.” My hand trembled as the phone clicked back into the cradle.

I checked the front and back door and ran to the stairs. The fire cast a magnificent glow behind the trees outside my bedroom window. I slid down the screen and clicked off a few rounds of shots, hoping to catch the eerie blues and pinks behind the shaded leaves. Whoa. New favorite sunset shot for sure.

Settling down on my bed, I started scrolling through today’s pictures. Something was weird about the fire, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. Flipping through June’s National Geographic, I glanced through the photographs of the explosion in Nanjing China. The colors in my shots were so much more vivid, more dynamic, more, well, colorful. Not that I knew anything about explosions, but something itched that little button inside that told me I had something special.

The lights suddenly flicked on. I gasped and laughed at myself. Perfect timing. I settled at my computer, hooked up my camera, and started the upload. I couldn’t wait to enlarge those babies.

[end of chapter one preview]

So there we are! The first chapter of FIRE IN THE WOODS. What did you think? Do you have questions, comments, thoughts on life at a military base? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

To read the second chapter of FIRE IN THE WOODS click here. (Available after December 2)

JenniFer_EatonF

Thinking about reading FIRE IN THE WOODS? Here’s your chance to read for free. @month9books

If you haven’t heard, my YA SciFi FIRE IN THE WOODS has scuttled up some buzz in social media.

1430695 YAY CHEER

We thought it would be fun to help people out who are still on the fence by posting the first five chapters of my book here, on my blog, one day at a time.

Why one day at a time? Well, at the end of each day (or during the day if my phone cooperates) I will be answering questions and reading comments on the posted chapter. Ask whatever you want. It could be about the story, or the writing style, questions about the characters, why the sky is blue, you know… whatever.

Yay1!

I hope this will be fun.

Sooooooo… That’s what’s on tap for this week. Starting Monday.

If you’ve read FIRE IN THE WOODS, I hope you stop by to comment or ask questions. If you haven’t read it, I hope you enjoy this little trip into the nutty meanderings of my imagination.

JenniFer_EatonF

Vlog – Video Blog “What makes you book different?” This is the one where my dog Burbs!

Fire in the Woods CoverHere’s installment four of my video interview tour for FIRE IN THE WOODS.

Fire in the Woods CoverA visit from my hermit crab, and “What makes your book different?”

Have you heard about FIRE IN THE WOODS? Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Wow. Just Wow. What an emotional roller-coaster I have been on.

Project2When you get a book published, you have all these dreams and fantasies—how good it will do … How people will rave about it … How fans will clamor for more.

Project1But in reality, while all authors HOPE this will happen, in the back of our heads, we know the chances are slim.

When FIRE IN THE WOODS released September 23, there was an initial rush (I use that word mildly – a rush of about a dozen) people buying my book. This is always to be expected. Then you find out what the book industry is really like.

[insert cricket chirping sound bite]

Yeah, you guessed it. After the first few days, despite the great reviews, FIRE tanked.

I was okay. I just pulled up my big-girl britches and moved on. After all, I had another contracted novel to write.

Fire-in-the-Woods-Cover 3DThen, by a stroke of luck, Month9Books had a birthday and to celebrate, they offered all their ebooks for $.99.  FIRE IN THE WOODS was one of the better sellers that day.  Again, not monumental sales by any means. But I was told to sit back, relax, and let the book speak for itself.

I didn’t know what that meant until two days later, when the power readers finished my book.

 

Social media started to buzz:

“Couldn’t put it down.”

“Stayed up late to read it.”

“Finished in one sitting”

“Wow!”

“Omisogh, I neeeed book two like, now!”

“One of my Favs.”

“I need more Jess and David in my life.”

PKO_0001147I was thrilled beyond belief. It didn’t matter to me (and it really didn’t) that the sales numbers weren’t huge. People were liking my book. It was a great feeling.

It didn’t really occur to me, though, that OTHER PEOPLE were reading those social media posts as well.

I couldn’t believe it—but two days AFTER THE SALE had ended the numbers rose. Exponentially. And those people finished in a few days. And they, too, felt strongly enough to take to Twitter, and Facebook, and Instagram, and Goodreads.

The coveted “word of mouth” was rolling. And I could barely keep up with it.

Missing Piece of Cake2Then the proverbial icing slathered itself all over my purple alien-colored cake. British booktuber @benjaminoftomes picked FIRE IN THE WOODS to read for his Goodreads Book Club. A mind-boggling amount people joined.

PKO_cheer20007376Within a week, FIRE was #5 in Teen/Aliens in the UK, and held in the top 20 for nearly a month. (And is still in the top 50) Yay!

After a few weeks, FIRE started climbing up in the SciFi/Dystopian ranks in the US, and is holding pretty steady in the Teen/SciFi top 100 now, with daily momentum.

I can’t thank everyone enough for all the posts, tweets, reviews, pictures of yourself with the book, picture of my book “in the woods” and pictures of my book with your snacks. It’s YOUR enthusiasm that has brought FIRE IN THE WOODS to life.

Jess & David Double base BASE ONLY coverEvery little blip from a fan means more to me that you can imagine … and makes me want to type the sequels faster.

Because someone is out there, waiting to find out what happens with Jess and David.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

JenniFer_EatonF

Lesson Eight from the Manuscript Red-Line: Magically Appearing Items in the Setting

Gold_Mine_Manuscript

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?

This is really more like an amendment to Lesson Seven, but I figured I’d call it out separately, just to make it more clear.  In Lesson Seven, we discussed how important it is to make sure a character has a reason for doing what they do.

Also watch for “convenient” items popping up out of nowhere.  In a recent writers group meeting we discussed this very topic… making sure that a gun doesn’t suddenly appear in the glove compartment of an eighty year old grandmother from Ohio…  Silly things like that.

It is easy for a writer to place an item somewhere convenient…  but remember to give that item a reason for being there.

Example from my own manuscript:

Meagan has a candle in her room in the end of the novel.  It’s very important.  It’s never mentioned before, but I talk about it like it’s always been there.  I  caught mistake after digesting Lesson Seven.   I just can’t let the candle suddenly appear like that, and act like it’s always been there.

Convenient fix by me:  I needed a new chapter near the beginning of the novel, because I needed a place to SHOW that Meagan realizes that Magellan is supernatural.  (This is to avoid a “telly” section later).  I placed the scene in Meagan’s room, and actually used the candle as the driving force for that scene.  It worked wonderfully, and I killed two problems with one chapter in a neat little
package.  (And only about 550 words)

Like magically appearing characters, suddenly appearing items can be distracting, and make you lose credibility.  Give important items a reason for being where they are, and keep your settings fluid throughout your novel.

Vlog – Video Blog “Why would anyone want to read your book?”

Fire in the Woods CoverHere’s installment three of my video interview tour for FIRE IN THE WOODS.

Fire in the Woods CoverA look at the fish in the background, and Why would anyone want to read your book?

Lesson Seven from a Manuscript Red-Line: Where did that character come from?

For an intro into where these tips are coming from, please see my post: A Full Manuscript Rejection, or a Gold Mine?

This is another comment that seems silly when you say it, but when I was thinking over my own manuscript (and one of the comments that a BP made that I blew off) I think I may have one of these mistakes, too.

The publisher red-lined a scene where the phone rings, and there is a conversation, but it is never really clear why the second character called in the first place.  Yes, some important information is exchanged during the conversation, but the reason for the original call is never made clear enough.
The comment from the publisher was that all actions must have a reason from the character that created that action in the first place.

Now, thinking over my own manuscript… There is a point where Magellan and Meagan are in the Aviary when the lights go out.  They are worried about Jerric, who is also in the aviary.  Meagan calls out his name, and Jerric steps out of the bushes and says “I’m right here.”

One of my BP’s said: “that is awfully convenient.”

I think this is pretty much the same thing as the comment above.  There needs to be a reason for him to be there.  Honestly, there is.  He is watching them.  The problem is, I never SAY that, so there is never actually a reason (in the reader’s mind) for him to be able to step out of the trees so easily.

So, where I  “blew off” that comment before, because I knew why he stepped out of the trees, now I am going back to make it more apparent that he was standing there and listening.  I have to let the reader know why it is so easy for him to step out of the trees.

Always make sure there is a reason for your characters to be where they are, and a reason for them doing what they do.  Other wise, as this publisher puts it, it  ends up sounding “contrived” or, as my BP put it “too convenient.”

Vlog – Video blog! What makes your character different?

Fire in the Woods CoverHere’s installment two of my video interview tour for FIRE IN THE WOODS.

Fire in the Woods CoverWhat makes your character different from the other paranormal leads out there?