Category Archives: General Writing Tips

By Request — Lay versus Lie – Take Two & National Macaroni Day!

It’s National Macaroni Day!

Yay!  I finally have a reason to use my Macaroni font!  Oh, Macaroni, how do I love thee… Let me count the ways… Okay, I will not soliloquize about pasta, but it’s tempting.

Today we are going to bring back a topic near and dear to everyone’s hearts…  The dreaded Lay vs Lie conundrum.

I ran into a lay verses lie problem in my Writing to a Deadline Novelette “Last Winter Red”

I went back and checked my notes to make sure I got it right.  This was a tough one.  I followed the rules, and used the one that fit, even though it sounded wrong.

Everyone said it was wrong!

One person said, “I know you used the right version, but this sounds bad.  I’d use the wrong one.”

Agreeing with her, I changed it.  Then went for another round of betas, and had to change it again!

I am so confused at this point, that I actually considered re-writing the scene so that little girl is not laying in that stinking bed.  Ugh!

I finally landed on one that no one complained about, but I still don’t think it’s grammatically correct.

Oh, well.

If the publisher mentions it, I’ll let you know.

Happy

My First Face to Face Critique Group

Believe it or not, up until today I had never been part of a face-to-face critique group.

There weren’t any around me, and I didn’t want to travel all the way into the city and pay $30 for parking.

I had thought of starting my own, but hesitated because of the work involved with being a moderator.  Then, luckily enough, a friend of mine started one ½ hour from me.  She was so nervous, and very happy when I signed up… THe old strength in friendly numbers thing.

In retrospect, we discussed a few mistakes, one of which was opening it up to ANYONE who was interested.  She was trying to be nice, but it was frustrating to get there after critiquing ten pages of 4 other authors, and only having two other people show up. (The moderator, myself, and another participant)

It worked out fine, but I wasted valuable time reading and critiquing twenty pages for two people who will never see my comments,  — and if you know me… 20 pages equals about 90 comments. I am very thorough.  Also, I won’t see what they did for me (if they ever even read mine in the first place)

In retrospect, we discussed only opening up the critique sessions to established members of our writing group (which is 300 members strong).  This way, we can be sure the people are already invested, and not just “fly by night”.

What WAS good was that the three of us who came were serious.  We critiqued each other’s work, and since we had an extra hour, chatted further about each piece than we would have been able to under normal circumstances. (If the other two showed up)

I was particularly tickled that they both asked for the rest of my work (Last Winter Red) because they liked it so much they wanted to see what happened.  Everyone needs a little ego-boost now and then 🙂

Did they come up with anything my beta-army didn’t?  Yeah, a few things.  Every set of eyes notices something different.  What was cool was that I could talk to them about it.  The only problem with on-line beta partners is that you have to email back questions, and sometimes that’s hard.  Here, we just chatted it over.

Probably— if I knew who the people were, and I could trust that they would show up.  I believe that the more opinions you get, the better your work will be… and someone may just see one word that is wrong that everyone else read over.

Also, I love getting out and chatting with other writers.  I love helping people develop.  There are so many people out there with great ideas, they just need help formulating them in a marketable way.

I was there once (a novice), and it was not too long ago.  Someone helped me.  Okay, a lot of people helped me.  Gosh, I was bad… but my ideas were good.  Now that I know a little bit about writing, it’s my turn to share the wealth.

That’s not to say that I don’t make the same silly mistakes all the time.  I am nowhere near arrogant enough to say I don’t need my beta-readers.  I am just to the point where I know what they mean when they think something is not right.  I can look at their comments, hit myself in the head, and I know EXACTLY how to fix it.

Other writers taught me how to do that.

Now, I can give that knowledge back to others.

By request: Who’s verses Whose

It never occurred to me to do an article on Who’s verses whose, because I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem with it.  I can see how this could be confusing, however.

I will try to make this as simple as possible.

Who’s” is kind of like “it’s”.   It is a contraction of two words.

Who is going to the store?

Who’s going to the store?

Whose is the possessive form of “Who”.

Who does this book belong to?

Whose book is this?

I believe the problem that may cause confusion is that sneaky little apostrophe.  In most cases apostrophe with an “S” denotes a possessive.  That is not true for “who”, or for “it”.

It’s just another one of those wonderful little rules that make the English language so much fun!

Hope this helps!

What Stupid writing thing did your beta reader come up with this week? “As” easy as it seems?

Apparently, I like the word As.

It’s a little word.  So small, so subtle, BUT SO TROUBLESOME.

Yeah, I admit it, I’m an “as” junkie.  I love combining sentences.  I like the way “as” makes sentences flow together in such a beautiful flowery way.  But, unfortunately, too much of a good thing stands out.

The lovely Miss Ravena went through my manuscript and started highlighting my “as” addiction.  Oh, what a colorful page I received back!

Did I get rid of every one of them?  Of course not.  I just reworded sentences where they were not absolutely necessary.  I tried to make sure there wasn’t more than one “As” in a single paragraph.  In one instance there were three in a paragraph, but I could only drop to two.  Anything else and the pacing would have suffered (in my opinion).

So, yes, I still have the dreaded “as” used as a conjunction in my manuscript.  Tabu?  Maybe a little.  I’ll watch for it, but I’m sure I’ll do it again, and again.

It is, after all, an addiction.
You won’t catch me giving up chocolate too soon, either.

By Request: Who verses Whom

Before I get on to this, I have an overall opinion (I know, shocking)

The English language is evolving rapidly.  Whom is one of those words that is unfortunately falling into the realm of obsolescence.  Mainly, this is from lack of use due to people not understanding how to use it.

Also, when you do use it, whether or not you use it correctly, you end up sounding “hoity-toity” because it is one of those words that has become synonymous with “upper class” for some reason.

So, if you don’t mind sounding hoity toity, and you can stop in the middle of a sentence to figure it out… this is what you need to do:

Decide if the “who or whom” is replacing the word “he/she or him/her”

He/she=who

Him/her=whom.

***Let’s explore this, shall we?***

Who/whom fed the dog?

Eric (he) fed the dog. (Chloe is a happy puppy)

He=who

Therefore, Who is correct.  “Who fed the dog?”

Who/whom should I ask?

Should I ask for he? (NO) Should I ask for him? (YES)

Him=whom

So, Whom is correct.  “Whom should I ask?”

(yeah, like anyone is actually going to say that, right?  Do you hear the hoity-toityness?

Here is an example from Grammar Girl:

We all know who pulled that prank.

But

We want to know on whom the prank was pulled.

Now, let’s be serious.  Does anyone see what I’m seeing?  If you tried to use the second “whom” example in your novel, unless you are writing Historical Romance, people would laugh at you.  Who in their right mind is going to say “We want to know on whom the prank was pulled.”?

You guessed it:  no one.

My suggestion?  Use who, even if it is not correct… especially if it is in speech.  Unless you have a character that is a grammarian, I see no reason to use the word “whom” in realistic speech anymore.

Sad, but true.  Goodbye, whom.  We will miss you.  Please say hello to “whilst” for me.

What stupid Writing Error did your Beta Reader come across this week? – Verb Confusion.

I just love verb confusion.  It’s a riot.

Unless someone points it out to me in my own work.

Okay, well it’s funny for me too, as long as I catch it in time.

The lovely Miss Dawn just pointed out to me that I have to be especially careful with my verb confusion, because in a fantasy world, it is entirely possible that furniture might come to life.

This is what I wrote:

Nurses tended to beds holding the badly infected.  Some held the patients withered hands.  Many smiled.  How could they provide comfort?  Weren’t they afraid?

I read this at least ten times on my own.  I knew what I thought I wrote… a beautiful scene of nurses tending to their patients.  But when Dawn read it, she saw nurses tending to the beds, not the people.  She saw beds holding the badly infected people.  (Like the beds were alive)  She also saw smiling beds.

When I read it back, I realized (after I stopped laughing) that she was completely right!

Thank goodness this is a very simple fix.

Nurses tended the badly infected.  Some held their patients withered hands.  Many smiled.  How could they provide comfort?  Weren’t they afraid?

The funny thing is, Dawn is a new reader for me.  She is not a fantasy writer, and she picked this up.  Three other people completely missed this.  That is why you send your manuscript out to multiple people…. To save you the embarrassment later.

Thanks, Dawn!

Stupid things your Beta Readers Find: Letting Your Villain Off The Hook Too Easily.

This is one of those “type things out to clear my head” posts.

I’ve written before that if one person makes a comment, consider it.  If two people make the same comment, seriously consider it.  If several more people make the same comment, revise.

I’m wavering on this one, though.

When I request beta reads, I ask for people to express the emotion they feel in each chapter.  A few people have said that my villain gets off the hook too easily.

Now, are they expressing an emotional response, or do they think that’s an error on my part?  That is what I am trying to figure out.  Even after questioning them, I am still not quite sure.

For one thing, they all would have squawked at my first seven or so drafts, where he completely got away with it.   I’m at least happy with my decision for him to get caught.

I can’t have him die a horrible death though, because then he can’t come back with a vengeance to really screw with Magellan’s head in another book.

I guess the visceral reaction of people is that if someone kills almost a hundred people with no remorse, he should get no less than that in the end.  The problem is that my villain is just too much fun.  Everyone has said that he makes their skin crawl, but they love it.  He is a great character, and I want him to come out and play again.

I think the problem might lie in the fact that you see him get caught, and you see the initial “punishment”, but you don’t get to see the aftermath… but if I do go and show the reader that aftermath, it will get red-lined because that is not intrinsic to the main-plotline for a POV character to be there to see it.

I don’t really have to show you the aftermath… I can show you the emotional response of the aftermath from another character’s POV.  I can intertwine that into the main plotline as the characters move into the final scene.

That’s it!  I got it!  I knew talking to you guys would help. You are all so smart!

Gotta go!  The idea is bursting out of my head, and I need to write it down before it disappears!

Letting go of your “Little Darlings”. Great Scenes You’ve edited OUT of your novel

A “Little Darling” is a scene that you just LOVE in your novel, but somewhere along the line, you realize it is just not right… and you need to cut it.

I have TONS of them.  Most of them chapter length.  But here is one of my favorites… just 103 words from HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT.  This is my Main character, thirteen year old Magellan, having a conversation with the Great Goddess.  She basically tells him he needs to save the world:

“Why can’t you just do it yourself?  Aren’t you a Goddess?”

“I can no longer manifest in the world of man.  Darkness has taken
a powerful vessel.  He draws on its strength, and its anger.  I cannot leave
here.”  She raised her arms, and pointed out to the void surrounding them.

“You mean, you’re trapped?”

 

“Darkness alone is nothing.  Darkness in numbers decimates.”

Magellan took a deep breath, and swallowed hard.  “So, what do we do?”

“You are the factotum.  You are my hands, even when they are tied.”

He took a step back.  “You’re kidding, right?  You want me to fight Darkness?”

I don’t know why, but I am really tickled by this short scene.  Even though this didn’t make it into my final draft, I smile every time I read it.

There is just something about a thirteen-year-old boy having a conversation with an ancient, cryptic goddess, and him saying to her… “Say what?”  It just makes me laugh.  I think it’s the pure innocence of a child paired with the ethereal knowledge of a goddess.  I don’t know… it just makes me smile and feel warm inside.

Have you ever written something “short and sweet” that makes you feel like this, but had to cut it for one reason or another?  I’d love to read it.

Send me the link, or post it below (try to keep them to about 100 or so words).   This is your one chance for others to read that special scene that you have stored somewhere because you love it so much.

Artwork by Istvan Szabo:  Preliminary art for HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT (Contracted)

A Review of “Alien Hunter” from a writer’s perspective. This is what NOT to do when you write

The other night my husband rented the movie “Alien Hunter”.  Isn’t he a good hubby?  He knows what I like.  Anyway… Alien Hunter.

It’s been a while since I’ve done a movie review.  Probably because everything has been “so so” and I couldn’t think of anything I learned from the movies I’ve seen.

This one was a bit different… because I didn’t like it.  So, let’s discuss why…

Warning:  I usually don’t do this, but there will be mild spoilers in this review.  Don’t worry.  I am not going to ask you to watch the movie anyway.  It wasn’t worth it.

Alien Hunter:  This is far to grand a title for this sleepy little movie.  Even my husband pointed out that there was no “Alien Hunting” in it.

Was there an alien?  Yes.  Was there an explosion?  Yes.  Was there death and mayhem?  Yes.  If you know anything about me, this sounds like a perfect combination to keep me entertained.  So why wasn’t I entertained?

Admittedly, about half an hour into the movie I fell asleep. (Not a good sign)  When I woke up, I asked my husband what I missed and he said, “Nothing.  They are still trying to get the stupid thing open.”  I checked the clock.  I’d been asleep for twenty minutes.

Now, when they got “The thing” opened, and people started to die, I just didn’t care.  (Oooo, she’s callous)  I am willing to admit that I did fall asleep for part of it, but I realized that I had no emotional attachment to any of the characters.  They were in dire peril.  So what?  Even if I fell asleep, I did see enough that I should have cared.  I didn’t.

Poor presentation and poor characterization.  That was the crux of this movie’s problem.

Problem #2:  The plot.  These people have to die.  It is made perfectly clear.  Most of them are okay with this (with almost no emotional response… okay, really?  Don’t you want to try to call your mother or something before they drop a nuclear bomb on you?)

As soon as you realize this, you think… okay, so why am I watching?  Who am I rooting for?   It’s not like they are going to try to escape.

Then, the “Bad guys” decide they are going to try to escape.  Now, if they do escape, every living thing on Earth will die within two days.  Wiped clean.  Disappear.  Done.

My husband and I thought the same thing.  No one would try to escape, especially when they saw what would happen with their own eyes.  It was just not believable.

What was even more unbelievable is the pseudo-happy ending that was really not even explained.

It was one of those times where you click off your television at midnight and wish you hadn’t wasted that precious sleeping time.

Characterization:  We need to care about your characters.  Make them real.  Make them respond realistically.  Even if they decide to do the right thing, and make the ultimate sacrifice, show some emotion.

Plot:  Please…  I mean, come on.  Think it through.  You can have a great idea (and yes, it was a great idea) but you need to follow it through to the end.  You need to root for your characters.  How can you root for characters when you know they are going to die?  And they have to die?

And that ending?  Even my husband shook his head.

I’ve actually found an “Alien-spaceship-explosion” flick that was worse than the second Transformers movie.  I never thought I’d see the day.

Think through your plotlines, and don’t ruin a brilliant idea with a really weak finish.

Writing to a Deadline Part 5: “I Love this stinking outline”

If you’re just hopping into the insanity that is my writing life, check out my previous “Writing to a Deadline” posts or this won’t make sense.

Wow… one thing that the outline “in my head” wanted me to write just wouldn’t work.  Yikes, would I have wasted a lot of time.  The whole scene would have been lost in editing.

And I wouldn’t have known that if I didn’t outline first.

Yes, I’m a pantser, and I cringe every time I read over this outline.  But it is helping me to figure out how one scene will flow into the next.  I stare at the outline every day and make changes to the story before I’ve even written it.  It’s a very strange place for me.

Why aren’t you writing yet?  Deadline, Jen, remember?  What are you doing?

I do most of my writing in the car driving back and forth to work.  Okay, stop gasping… I do it in my head.  I have a pretty good idea of where key scenes in my outline are going.  My question now is whether or not I will be able to write this story in the “10,000 words or under” parameter.  Being concise was never my forte.

I am now four weeks in.  Yes, everyone else is a month ahead of me.  Some of them may have even submitted.  The publisher may have already picked a few that they may include in the anthology.

Maybe.  I have a little cheat card up my sleeve, though.  I am going away to a writers retreat over a weekend.  Eight writers closing themselves in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with no internet, and no ambition other than word count.

My challenge to myself is to be completely prepared going in.

Ready, set— go.  Write, Edit, Polish, Complete.

When I get home, send it out to Beta readers.

Re-polish.

One last read from whomever I can convince to put up with me

Submit.

Cutting it close?  Well, honestly, yes.

Today I actually start writing to my outline.  New ground for me.  Let’s see how this pantser does.

Stick to the outline, Jen.  Stick to the outline.

Resist the urge to explode something.  You can do this.