Tag Archives: Flash Fiction

Write a Story with Me – Part 10 – Going after the Bro- By Susan Rocan

Susan Rocan ties two plotlines together this week, and leaves our next person with a devilishly great last line to work off of.

Here’s the beginning of Susan’s submission just as a tease.  You’ll have to hop on over to her site to see where she brings us.

Jenelle perched on a branch outside the window, listening to the joy
in Marci’s voice as she greeted her father. The wee fairy felt a pang
of longing, knowing that such a life was not going to be hers. With
tears clouding her eyes, Jenelle took a deep breath, flicked her wings
and sped across the meadow until her wings ached.

A familiar whirring caused her to whip around and hover, facing her
brother, defiantly.

“Why are you following me?” she demanded.

Wanna see more?  Of course you do!  So let’s hop on over to Susan’s site mywithershins to see what’s going to happen with our story this week!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine – Vikki Thompson

Part Ten — Susan Rocan

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

4amWriter —- TAG!  You are “It”

Write a Story with Me – Part 9 What about the Queen? by Vikki Thompson

Miss Vikki from the View Outside kicks up the pace this week, and brings us back to Marci and Janelle.  I guess this should start chapter two — what do you think?

“Please Janosc, leave us!” Janelle glared at her brother.
“Very well, I will wait outside.”
Marci watched in awe, as his wings carried him out through the open window.
“I must apologise for my brother Marci, he always thinks he knows best.”
Janelle sat down on the bare wooden floor and crossed her pale delicate legs. Her wings folding elegantly behind her as she lowered herself. She patted the floor and Marci sat down in front of her.
“I’m really confused Janelle, what Janosc said, I…..”
“Well don’t do it then.” Marci pleaded.
Want to read more?  I sure do!  Come hop on over to Vikki’s blog with me!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Catching up?  Previous installments are listed below.

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine — Vikki Thompson

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Mywithershins —- TAG!  You are “It”

Search and Destroy in the Editing Phase

Daily Writing Tips recently had an article explaining bad writing compared to poor writing.  The one part of the article that struck me was the end.

They presented a list which I will admit (giving them total credit) that I copied and pasted below.  I only want to talk about #5, but I am including the entire list, because I think there are a lot of writers out there who can benefit from it.

Here we go:  Total credit to Dailywritingtips.com (If you want to see the whole article, the link is below)

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Here are some tips on avoiding the pitfalls of bad writing:

1. Be Fresh
The purpose of metaphor and simile is to evoke recognition by comparison or allusion. Write these analogies to aid your readers with your clarity of vision, not to serve your ego, and avoid clichés.

2. Be Clear
When drafting expository fiction or nonfiction, record your voice as you spontaneously describe a scene or explain a procedure, transcribe your comments, and base your writing on the transcription, revising only to select more vivid verbs and more precise nouns and to seek moderation in adverbs and adjectives.

3. Be Active
Use the passive voice judiciously.

4. Be Concise
Write tight.

5. Be Thorough
Accept that writing is the easy part; it’s the revision that makes or breaks your project — and requires most of your effort.

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Okay then… end credit to daily writing tips.

(On a side note:  If anyone needs clarification on anything in the list above, let me know and I will do my best to translate.)

Let’s talk about #5.

This is near and dear to my heart, as I have just finished a roller-coaster ride self-imposed deadline of 5,000 words a week to finish a novel in 10 weeks.

I finished my first draft four weeks ahead of schedule, and dropped myself into editing.

Is my story great?  Well, of course it is! It’s my idea and I love it.

Is it well written…

Umm well, it will be.

Now is the tough part.  I need to attack all the sneaky “tell” that slipped in when I wasn’t looking.  I need to describe bronzed skin rather than telling “his skin was bronzed.”

Luckily enough, I have many words to spare, as I ended up short on my word-count target.  I have plenty of room to expand.

Right now, it is “search and destroy” on “Felt” “was” “it” and all those other nasty little tell markers.

I was paying attention this time around, and I tried my best not to have blatant run-on tell passages (as I’ve been guilty of in the past)  which is good, but all of my tell is now “subtle”.  It is the kind that will probably slip past most publishers.  But I don’t just want this to be a good novel.  I want it to be a great one.

Yes, it is this revision process that will make or break this novel.

I am approaching it by not reading for flow yet.  I am just looking for all those “little nasties”.  Once I think I am “nasty free” I will read for flow, and then ship off to betas, trusting them to slap me upside the head for everything else I may have missed.

How do you “search and destroy” during the editing phase?

Write a Story with Me – Part 8 – Bring on the Teen writers. Go Ravena!

Whoot Whoot!  It’s write a story with me day!  The lovely miss Ravena is jumping in from the UK.  What an Awesome International team we have.

Doesn’t this totally rock that all these people from across the world are jumping in on this together. And the story is really coming together.  If you are new, check out the links below to start fresh or in case you missed a post.

Without further ado, hop on a plane (or car, or balloon, or blimp… whatever you need) to read Ravena Guron’s addition to Write a Story with Me!

Go Ravena!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton (USA)

Part Two – J. Keller Ford (USA)

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Vicki from the View Outside —- TAG!  You are “It”

Write a Story with Me – Oh Yeah! – Part Seven

Wow!  Vanessa Chapman totally rocked it this week.  Not only did she send us the next installment, she mapped out all the characters for us in a graph!  Go Vanessa!

Hop on over the Vanessa’s to see what’s going on with our story.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Ravena Guron —- TAG!  You are “It”

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Flash Fiction Friday on Wednesday: Trials of the Tooth Fairy- The Fairy Trap-A true story

What does the tooth fairy do when a little boy sets a trap for her?  Read on!

The tooth fairy peeked around the doorway, tip toeing into the little boy’s room, being careful not to make a sound, but when she made it to the bed, not only was there no tooth… there was no little boy!

Hmmm. She scratched her head and checked her notes.  Yes, there was definitely a tooth lost in this house today.  She tip-toed into the next room, and found the youngest little boy sleeping soundly.  Nope, he was too young to lose a tooth.

Across the hallway, the sounds of snoring rattled behind a closed door.  The tooth fairy carefully grasped the door handle and gently turned it, cringing as the door made a big “pop” sound.  She held her breath, and closed her eyes, not that closing her eyes would keep a little boy from seeing her, but it settled her nerves.

The snoring continued.  She tip toed in the room, smiling over the bed of the oldest child.  No, he hadn’t lost a tooth either.  A small rustle from the other side of room caught the tooth fairy’s attention.  She crept around the bed and put her hands on her hips.

Aha!  A little boy with a missing tooth!

The middle boy lay wedged in the two-foot space between the bed and the dresser.  He slept soundly on a thick fluffy pillow, covered with a full Spiderman comforter. She could feel the tug of the prize tooth nestled below his sweet little head, but how would she get to the pillow?

The tooth fairy scratched her head, wishing she hadn’t left her wings at home.  Is she had them, she could fly over the little boy to his pillow, and steal his tooth.  But alas, wingless, she needed to find a way to thwart this little boy’s plan to catch her in the act, and still run away with that prized tooth.

She took in a deep breath, and balanced one hand on the bed, and the other on the dresser.  Concentrating hard, she slipped her foot along the side of the frame, just beside the little boy.

OOPS!  She jumped as she stepped on something hard.  The little boy’s arm was under the comforter!  Frozen, one hand supporting her on either side, and one foot hovering in the air, the tooth fairy watched as the little boy groaned, and rolled over.

Oh No!  When he turned over, he bend his left his knee and pointed it in the air… just a few inches beneath her leg!

Balancing on one foot, she remained silent, waiting for his breathing to relax.  Certain he’d fallen back into a blissful slumber; she allowed her foot to touch the ground in the few blessed inches of open carpet beside his shoulder.  Using her fairy agility, she jumped over him, and crouched in the few inches of clear space by his pillow… a full grown fairy… in a six by twelve box.  Well, she’d had worse challenges.

Her heart pumped madly, dreaming of the prized tooth she would find beneath his pillow.   She slipped her hand under, only to find a long wire.  A wire?  The cable stretched from under the pillow to a nearby chair filled with toys.  Yup.  A booby trap… set up in the only possible place she would be able to slip her hand in.

Not to be thwarted, the tooth fairy contorted her body, twisting and mashing her large form in the little space provided, and slipped her other hand (upside down) beneath the pillow.  Tapping and feeling, being careful of the wire … she struck gold.  But was it gold?  No!  It was not the prized tooth… but a Nintento DS carefully hidden underneath his pillow.

Hmmmm, the tooth fairy thought.  She would have to leave a note for his mother letting her know he’d been playing games when she thought he was sleeping.

Having come too far to give up without her prize, the tooth fairy dug her fingers around the rest of the carpeting.  A marble, a toy soldier… Where was the stinking tooth!

Her hand touched plastic, and the wonderful sound of a Ziploc bag crinkling excited her ears.  She slipped the bag out from beneath the pillowcase.  The prize tooth!  Slipping her free hand under the pillow, the tooth fairy deposited the required fistful of jingly coins and stood.  Prize in hand.

But she could not yet celebrate her victory!  Her eyes adjusted to the light, the moon revealing the true intricacy of the booby trap.  How she hadn’t tripped it was a blessing in itself.  The older boy turned in his bed, covering the one point on his mattress that she’d used to support herself.

Dangit for forgetting my stinking wings!

She gritted her teeth, and placed one toe on the pillow, shifting the fabric beside the child’s head.  With a huge leap, she used her magical fairy powers to sail over the comforter and the booby traps, and landed solidly on the carpet at the edge of the bed.

THOMP. The flooring shook beneath her mass.

She froze.

A cricket chirped outside.

Both children reacted to the noise by turning in their sleep.

The tooth fairy waited, ever so patiently until they’d stopped moving. Whew! They remained asleep. Two steps took her from the room, and a now trembling hand eased the door shut.

Success.

The tooth fairy rubbed her temple, and smiled at her prize tooth.

I don’t get paid enough for this.

 

Writing time:  24 minutes.  Fresh in my mind since it was last night.  J

Yeah, I know there’s show verses tell and all.  It’s speed storytelling, remember? Give a girl a break.

OMIGOSH! I missed a Post! But I had a good reason!

Ugh.  I got home tonight, totally exhausted, and realised I had no FLash Fiction for  Flash Fiction Friday On Wednesday.

Oh!  I have failed you **Sob Sob**

But I have a really good reason.  Tonight I attended a critique session with a group of local writers.  I have a love/hate relationship with these things.  For one thing, I get really tired of saying the same things over and over again.  sometimes I wish I could just be the queen of cut and paste.

So… why do I do it?  Because someone a few years ago saw a glint of hope in a little newbie writer called Jennifer Eaton, and took the time to SLASH THE HOLY HECK out of her work, and then explain why.

Someone took the time to help me, and now is my time to give that little bit of help back.  That’s also why I do this blog.

Now, this is not to say I am the one-stop know it all about writing.  ‘Cause I know I’m not… but I do have a lot of experience at this point that I can relay to others.

So, yes, I groan over first time critiques… but I love when I get to talk to people and explain things to them, and have their eyes light up with an “ah-ha” moment.

There were mostly new people tonight, so I was starting from scratch, but one girl had been critiqued by me before, and her writing was SO MUCH BETTER than last time… I was SO EXCITED for her.  Congrats, Dawn!

I really love when I can relay a little of what I’ve learned.  It is so much better to learn from my mistakes than making these mistakes yourself.

And what did I get in return for my personal critiques?  An overwhelming consensus that my Main Character in my new WIP  Fire in the Woods is fourteen years old.

Why is this significant?  BECAUSE SHE’S SEVENTEEN.

So… back to editing my first few pages… where they thought the problem lay.

And sorry for missing flash fiction.  My mind is just a pile of goo.

Time for Bed!  Good night!

Yay! It’s my favorite Day of the Week! It’s Write a Story with Me day! Part Five

Write a Story with Me! Is going full-throttle.

Are we having fun yet!  The answer is “Yes!”

So… What’s happened so far?

Part 1: Twelve year old Marci picked a leaf off a hallowed tree.

Part 2: She runs home and sees her pregnant mother and little sister Lauren greeting her father’s flying ship, one of the Planetary Raiders from a long voyage.  Marci gives the leaf to Janelle, a tiny person who emerges from a hole in the floor.

Part 3: Bethany (and older sister) is introduced. She is the villain of our story, and very jealous of her sister Marci.  She sneaks back home from greeting her father, and eavesdrops on Marci.  She discovers the illegal fairy, and prepares to use the information against her sister.

Part 4: Bethany is carted off by fairies.  A big scary beetle-fairy tells Janelle she has to come back to the nest with him. (He’s Janelle’s brother.  Janelle wants to start a new fairy nest, but her brother (Janosc) does not want her to do it, because a fairy queen is like an ant queen. Janelle says they need to start a new nest because their world is in danger.

Part 5: The next installment comes from the wonderful Miss Eileen Snyder.  No need to click a link this week.  We are posting right here!  Take it away Eileen!

Jodi looked up from the book she read and began to rub her eyes hard to a watery end. The street bench had grown rigid and hard and she shifted her weight and stretched her entire body with an audible yawn.  She plucked her eyeglasses from the crown of her head and with a minor adjustment they fit her face again.  She didn’t need them for reading; in fact she didn’t need them at all.
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 Unexpectantly, a wistful March wind tunneled the entire length of Carlisle Street. Jodi turned toward the breeze to feel it touch her skin, it was refreshing. She caught sight of the unbridled ivy leaves fluttering against the brick of antique row homes that lined the narrow easement, not much wider than an alleyway and paved in blue cobblestones, the window boxes were decorated with cold weather pansies, bright yellow and purple. Their beauty was evident but their genus was no match for the encroaching ivy that clung steadfast to the masonry bricks of Colonial Philadelphia.
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She thought of her favorite book on Greek mythology, when the Sirens of Circe flapped their leaf like wings to intimidate Odysseus and his shipmates. What lie in a hardy leaf, what purpose a leaf if it bears no flower? Does it not nourish the bud? Yet, its shiny veneer was a fitting contrast to the flat, red brick. Perhaps, a leaf does have powers!

Now It’s time to scoot on over to the Nederland’s with Mysocalleddutchlife’s Mikaela Wire for the next installment. Mikaela gets to figure out who the heck this girl is, and what Colonial Philadelphia has to do with flying ships, and fairies.  Well, I guess it all has to tie in to that leaf from installment #1. Ummm… Okay, Mikaela… better you then me.

Tag Mikaela!  You are “It”.

Here are the previous installments:

Part One – Jennifer M Eaton

Part Two – Jenny Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four by — Elin Gregory

Stop by next Tuesday to see what happens next!

Flash Fiction Friday on Wednesday – Be careful what you wish for

This is the character study I did for my character “Jessica” in my new WIP, Fire in the Woods.  I wrote this just to get a “feel” for her before I got started with the story.

The story ended up going in another direction, but this was the basis/starting point of her character. (As well as the rest of the story)

Jess lay in the grass.  The stars of a billion galaxies sparkled in the night sky above.  When she was little, and her parents fought, she’d hide in the backyard, and the constellations would keep her company.  Since her parent’s divorce five years ago, not even the stars could console her.  Instead, they made her feel insignificant, small, and alone.

A shooting star’s tail lit up the night and disappeared from view.  She closed her eyes, and wished with all her might.  She wished for someone who could understand her, for someone to love her.

She wished for someone to appear, and change her life forever.

…Be careful what you wish for.

Write A Story with me! Installment #4

Write a Story with Me! Is off and running.

If you missed out on all the hoopla last week, there is a list of links below so you can catch up.  This week  Elin Gregory  really mixes it up with some unexpected elements, and a brand new plot line.

Now It’s Eileen’s turn to figure out how to build on that last line, twirling us back to that sneaky leaf element.

Tag Eileen!  You are “It”.

Hope over here to  Elin Gregory to see the latest, or catch up with the story from the posts below.

Here are the previous installments:

Part One – Jennifer M Eaton

Part Two – Jenny Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four by — Elin Gregory

Stop by next Tuesday to see what happens next!