Tag Archives: Online Writing

Write a Story with Me #51: “Natalia could be the one” with Joe Owens

Posted on July 8, 2013 | 5 comments

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

This week we welcome Joe Owens with his very first installment!

51 – Joe Owens

Even as Morath’s words echoed in Natalia’s ears her mind wandered back to moments when she was a young child. She loved spending time with father. He was as consumed with her as she was with him. But Natalia had stolen away one evening after supper when her parents were sure she was asleep to see her father once more before sleep. She snuck up into the loft of the barn and watched in amazement as he transformed into his Fae form. This magic was so beautiful, so unexpected. At four she did not understand, but she definitely never forgot that moment. Morath’s words brought all of the memories she had suppressed back to her mind.

She also remembered the conversation her parents had that night.

“Natalia could be the one,” her father declared.

“How can we ask such a thing of our child?”

“A war will come between our peoples if nothing is done.”

“I don’t like you doing this and certainly don’t want to see her involved.”

“If we stand and watch we are dooming her and her children to much worse. If this campaign to eradicate my kind continues to grow my kind will be exterminated or exiled.”

“I know Katoris! I have no answers!”

“I’m sorry my love,” Katoris said as he pulled her close. “If it does not come now I fear Natalia will face a day of great pain. As a father I just want the best for my child!”

“But is it best to lose you in a fight you cannot possibly win?”

Click here to tweet: Group Writing adventures continue! Write a Story with Me #51: “Natalia could be the one” with Joe Owens via @jennifermeaton

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Fifty Click Here

Part Fifty-One – Joe Owens

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Shayla Kwiatkowski — TAG!  You are “It”

Write a Story With Me Contributors

shayla kwiatkowski gryphonboy Jennifer M. Eaton Vanessa Chapman
Siv Maria Sharon Manship shanjeniah Vikki (The View Outside)
Danielle Ackley-McPhail Richard Leonard susanroebuck Jenny Keller Ford
aparnauteur kaidamian Eileen Snyder Elin Gregory
Joe Owens anelephantcant mysocalledDutchlife Nicky Wells
norahdeayjansen Julie Catherine Ravena Guron
jiltaroo 4amWriter mywithershins

5 Comments

Posted in Write a story with me

Tagged , , , , , ,

Write a Story with Me #50 with Norah Jansen – You’ll never believe this one!

Posted on July 1, 2013 | 3 comments

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

50 – Norah Jansen

Again, Morath held up a hand.

“I must ask for your patience Natalia. Yes, you will have your son, but right now the fate of all our people is in your hands. Your lineage has been kept a secret from you for the sake of your family but now it is time to tell you that your father was a noble Fae. Indeed he was my brother and would have ruled these lands if it were not for the human hand that slayed him.”

Natalia’s eyes darted from side to side, taking in the fae on one side of the great room and her stunned husband on the other. She shook her head violently.

“No. No. This can’t be true. My father was a farmer. A human farmer.”

She looked beseechingly at Yoran.

“He was. I swear he was.”

Natalia fell quiet, her hands twisting in anguish and tears spilling from her eyes. Morath reached out and stilled Natalia’s hands by taking them into her own.

“In your heart you know it’s true Natalia. Your mother wanted you to have a human life so she married your farmer father and they swore never to tell you who your real father was. You’ve known deep down that your children are different to those of your neighbours. They have abilities beyond those of humans, abilities that have never been nurtured, and now we have a boy who is destined to bring our two peoples together.”

There was a gasp from Yoran and Natalia’s heart clenched as she saw raw fear in his eyes. Morath’s voice came to her as if through a mist.

“It’s up to you Natalia. Daughter of my brother. Do you consent to share this child with all the people around you? With the Fae?”

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Part Forty-Two – Susan Rocan

Part Forty-Three – Kate Johnson

Part Forty-Four – An Elephant Can’t

Part Forty-Five – Julie Catherine Vigna

Part Forty-Six – Kai Damian

Part Forty-Seven – Richard Leonard

Part Forty-Eight – Sharon Manship

Part Forty-nine – Danielle Ackley McPhail

Part Fifty – Norah Jansen

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Joe Owens — TAG!  You are “It”

Write a Story With Me Contributors

shayla
kwiatkowski		 gryphonboy Jennifer M. Eaton Vanessa
Chapman
Siv
Maria		 Sharon Manship shanjeniah Vikki
(The View Outside)
Danielle
Ackley-McPhail		 Richard
Leonard		 susanroebuck Jenny
Keller Ford
aparnauteur kaidamian Eileen Snyder Elin
Gregory
Joe
Owens		 anelephantcant mysocalledDutchlife Nicky
Wells
norahdeayjansen Julie
Catherine		 Ravena
Guron
jiltaroo 4amWriter mywithershins

3 Comments

Posted in Write a story with me

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Write a Story with Me # 48 with Sharon Manship

Posted on June 17, 2013 | 3 comments

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

48 – Sharon Manship

Yoran’s expression faltered.  He wondered if this was another hoax devised to elicit the information that he was not at liberty nor the inclination to share.  But what if it wasn’t?  The newborn certainly bore the Sumner family resemblance with his mop of dark hair and the same rosebud mouth as his sisters.  As he looked at the baby’s perfect features the irony of such a symbol of innocence in this awful place was not lost on Yoran, and his heart couldn’t help but swell with love and protection of this little bundle.

Yoran was torn, and this was quite plain for all those in the room to see.  Morath allowed a swift flash of triumph to cross her usually beatific features.  Surely Yoran would have to speak now.  He would choose his own blood over the Establishment.  She stole a glance at the three girls sitting on the private bench.  Marci and Bethany were distraught.  Sian’s eyes were now flicking from her father’s face to the baby and back again, her earlier steely resolve seemingly wavering now.

Suddenly everyone’s attention was distracted by a commotion coming into the room from the direction in which the Officer had just appeared with the baby.

Guards were trying to hold someone back, but she somehow managed to wrangle through them and burst forward.  On seeing the boy she let out an anguished animal-like cry and lunged forward towards the Officer.

“Give him to me!”

Yoran and Morath’s faces bore the same aghast and disbelieving expressions, and for the first time ever their thoughts were the same…what on earth was going on and just how had Natalia got here?

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Part Forty-Two – Susan Rocan

Part Forty-Three – Kate Johnson

Part Forty-Four – An Elephant Can’t

Part Forty-Five – Julie Catherine Vigna

Part Forty-Six – Kai Damian

Part Forty-Seven – Richard Leonard

Part Forty-Eight – Sharon Manship

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Danielle Ackley McPhail — TAG!  You are “It”

3 Comments

Posted in Write a story with me

Tagged , , , , , ,

A Review of “Dipping in a Toe” By Linda Carroll-Bradd @lcarrollbradd

Posted on June 7, 2013 | 10 comments

I was just floored by this short story.  This little tidbit did everything it was meant to do.  It wet my appetite, and left me screaming for more.

Normally, I don’t like shorts, because I always feel like there is more to the story that I have not been told.  To an extent, this is no exception to that. However, this was so superbly written that I was left feeling satisfied with the ending, and not wanting to chuck my E-reader at the wall.

This is a very simple story about a single mother being attracted to her kid’s much younger swim coach, and what happens when he returns her attention.

While this is a very sweet story. (Not even any kissing) I found myself submersed in the heat between these two characters, and feeling every sensory perception relayed by the author.

My only fault is how short it is (I read it in two nights, but I could have gobbled it in one sitting if I wanted to)  I would love to read more about this new couple, and if there is a part two, I am reaching for it.

In general, I like fantasy or chase novels, and romance bores me.  This story, though, just blew my socks off without any TNT.  For the first time in a long time, I am looking up an author to see what else she’s written.

I can’t find any reason in this book not to give it five stars.  This is sweet romance at its utter and complete best.

Related articles

10 Comments

Posted in Book/Movie Review

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Write a Story with Me – Part 45 – Final Judgement by Julie Catherine Vigna

Posted on May 27, 2013 | 5 comments

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

45- Julie Catherine Vigna

They were brought to the Court of Adjudication; highest legal court of the fae. Here Yoran would be required to defend human-kind on the charges of oppression and crimes perpetrated against the peoples of Argot. The second charge was against Yoran himself, high-ranking member of the Establishment, for the assassination of Morath, Queen of Queens of the Fae. At the end of what proposed to be a lengthy court session, Final Judgement would be pronounced, and the Ceremony would commence.

The outcome of the Trial would either bring human and fae together in everlasting peace, or would forever set them apart and commence the war that would surely bring total devastation and extinction to both their worlds.

Sian, Marci and Bethany, cleaned up so as not to disgrace the dignity of the court, and leg shackles exchanged for light but strong chains linking them together, were escorted to a private bench to the right of the Adjudicator’s Throne by Janosc.

Court attendants wheeled in the Defender Chair— Yoran’s wrists and ankles strapped securely to its frame and base. Marci cried out and made to rise from the bench, but was stopped by Janosc.

A gong boomed, the sonorous vibration resonating throughout the building, and the courtroom stilled. Everyone rose and bowed their heads as the Court Adjudicator swept in and settled on the throne.

Yoran’s eyes widened in disbelief and he rasped, “YOU?!!”

Morath, Queen of Queens of the Fae and Court Adjudicator, gazed directly at Yoran, her smile frosty and eyes piercing his brain with blue ice.

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Part Forty-Two – Susan Rocan

Part Forty-Three – Kate Johnson

Part Forty-Four – An Elephant Can’t

Part Forty-Five – Julie Catherine Vigna

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Kai Damian — TAG!  You are “It”

5 Comments

Posted in Write a story with me

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Write a Story with Me #44 by AnElephantCant “Being Prepared”

Posted on May 20, 2013 | 6 comments

Write a Story with Me is a group endeavor just for the fun of it.  A different writer adds a new 250 words each week.  It is the ultimate Flash Fiction Challenge!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Here’s this week’s excerpt.  We hope you enjoy!

44 – AnElephantCant

Sian awoke with not only a blinding headache, but with her whole body feeling as though it had been trampled by a herd of stampeding wildebeest.

She raised her head slowly and found that she was in what appeared to be a windowless dungeon.

The only light came from a small aperture in the damp rock high overhead.

She stumbled to her feet, only to find she was chained by her ankle to a metal ring set in the floor.

“Hello!” she called loudly, “Is anyone there?”

Groans came from the darkness.

“Who is there?” she cried, “Speak to me!”

She stared in amazement as first Bethany and then Marci staggered out of the gloom, both trailing chains from their ankles.

“What happened … Where are we …  How did we get here?”

The sisters all started asking questions at once, but none of them had any answers.

Nor could they recall exactly where they had been or what they were doing immediately before they wakened here.

“All in good time” came Janosc’s voice from the blackest corner.

He strolled into sight, gleamingly smart, smiling confidently.

“Please, tidy yourselves up, you look awful”, he grinned at the girls, “You will want to look your best, won’t you?”

Again the girls fired questions all at once.

“Where are we … Our best for what ….” and, from Marci, “Where is our father?”

“He is being prepared”, answered Janosc.

“Prepared for what?”

“After what happened? He is being prepared for the ceremony, of course!”

###

Check out more from anelephantcant at http://anelephantcant.me/

Want to read more?  See below for past excerpts.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Parts One – Forty Click Here

Part Forty-One – Vanessa Chapman

Part Forty-Two – Susan Rocan

Part Forty-Three – Kate Johnson

Part Forty-Four – An Elephant Can’t

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

  Julie Catherine Vigna — TAG!  You are “It”

Related articles

6 Comments

Posted in Write a story with me

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

A review of Sweet Blood of Mine by @John_Corwin

Posted on May 17, 2013 | 4 comments

Jump aboard!  It’s going to be a bumpy ride!  I really enjoyed this story from so many angles it’s not funny.

This is a story about an overweight geeky teen boy who suddenly becomes a soul-sucking incubus. (Don’t blame him.  It’s hereditary.)

The only problem is… no one told him anything about it, and he has no idea what’s going on.

I loved the world-building in this novel, and the voice is AWESOME. The main character seems real, and deals with his “changes” in a realistic way.

The only thing I can fault in Sweet Blood of Mine is the beginning, which is a bit long and drawn out.  I was so interested in the character’s voice though, that I kept reading.  The writing is fluid, and very well done.  And, in the end, I’m glad I kept reading because I ended up just LOVING this story, and cheering the main characters on as these two teenagers set off to on an adventure to save the boy’s father from the nasty supernatural bad-guys.

I’m going to dock one star for the overly-long beginning, but once you get past that, and his abilities flare up, this is an action packed roller-coaster ride of fun.

Oh yeah – here’s a warning.  This book is free right now, and this is a classic case of free done well…  There is an excerpt of the next book in the last few pages. And guess what I did?  Yep – I clicked that Buy it Now button.

This is a perfect example to me of how giving away a free book can work.   This book was so good that I didn’t hesitate to pick up the next one.  Be warned – there’s a whole series of these suckers, but at $2.99 a download, I’m good with that. If you like to romp around in the YA world (just inching toward new adult) I would HIGHLY recommend this.

4 Comments

Posted in Book/Movie Review

Tagged , , , , , ,

Rule #2 of 32 Simple Rules to the Writing the Best Novel Ever

Posted on May 14, 2013 | 22 comments

Writing_A_Great_Novel

I’m dissecting the article Hunting Down the Pleonasm, by Allen Guthrie, using it as a cattle prod to search for little nasties in my manuscript.  Yep, you can join in the fun, too.  Let’s take a looksee at topic #2

2: Use oblique dialogue. Try to generate conflict at all times in your writing. Attempt the following experiment at home or work: spend the day refusing to answer your family and colleagues’ questions directly. Did you generate conflict? I bet you did. Apply that principle to your writing and your characters will respond likewise.

This is one of those things that I read and said to myself “huh-wha?”  It seemed like a jumble of words that should be important, if I knew what he was trying to say.  Here’s my take on it, after doing a little research and thinking it over.

This is what I came up with.  Let’s take a look at some dialog. I’m going to take out movement and emotion so we can just look at the dialog, and see how it works.

“Helen, I’m home.”

“Hello, George. How was work?”

“Oh just dandy.  Martin was out, so I had to take care of all his problems and got to none of my own work.”

“I’m sorry to hear that dear. What would you like for dinner?”

“Pizza is fine.”

“Okay, I’ll place the order.”

“I went shopping today.”

“Yeah, what’d you buy?”

“Milk and eggs.”

“Good.  I like milk and eggs”

“You know what? We need to talk about Billy.  He turned into a velociraptor today, and he ate three of his classmates.”

“Whaaaaaaat?”

0026_CracksAndCrevasses

Okay – don’t judge me.  I’m trying to make a point.  There is a lot of day-to day babble in here that is really unnecessary, right?  The only important thing is that Billy turned into a dinosaur.

Conflict needs to be evident in every scene.  Don’t just have people talking about nothing just to kill time.  Each scene, and each bit of dialog needs to move the story forward.  I mean seriously.  Do we need to know that Mommy picked up milk and eggs?

Look for your dialog to be concise and to the point.  Give it the impression of being longer, without actually boring your reader with the babble.

Make sure each scene has a start, conflict, and resolution.  Each one of these miniature stories needs to draw your characters further along in the story. If it doesn’t move the story forward, no matter how much you love the scene, it’s time to take out the hatchet.

How often do you find your characters babbling with no forward movement in a scene?  What did you do to rein your dialog in?

Jennifer___Eaton

 

Related articles

22 Comments

Posted in Author Advice, General Writing Tips

Tagged , , , , , ,

Review of “The Glass Man” by Jocelyn Adams

Posted on April 26, 2013 | 12 comments

Strap yourself in.  It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

I actually finished this book last year, and it was in my top five reads for 2012.  I never got around to reviewing it, so here’s a quick overview.

My opinion? I want to be Jocelyn Adams when I grow up.  Well, not completely, but I would love to have the “flow” that her writing style has.  She is really “readable”.

Have you ever read a great book, but it was easy to put it down?  Well, Glass Man is a great book that your husband has to pry out of your hands to make sure you go to bed at night… I call that “flow” because there is no hard break in the writing… as a reader, you just keep reading without knowing what’s going on.

Glassman is a story about a girl with supernatural powers and has no idea why she has these powers.  She is being chased by “The Glass Man” – a man who killed her entire family when she was young, and has been hunting her ever since.  Yep, this is one of my favorite tropes – the CHASE NOVEL.  Wahoo!  Action abounds!

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel from beginning to end, with a few very minor nit-picks.

Nit Picks:

#1 is the language. Yeah, yeah, stamp me a prude, but I cannot relate to a heroine with a gutter mouth.  I’ve said before, using the word sh*t or even the F-bomb if you fall and hurt yourself is okay.  It’s natural.  But riddling the dialog with profanity bothers me.  I have to subtract a star for this.

#2 is that the main character is wearing a ridiculous outfit for a long time during the climax near the end of the story. Why Why Why? Is all I have to ask.  The narrative, which is otherwise outstanding, high energy and tense, is challenged, and at times ruined by the dumb outfit that the bad guy made her wear. I just don’t know where the author was going with that.  Maybe it was supposed to be comic relief, or maybe titillation… for me, it just made me roll my eyes.  So for this, I need to subtract another star.

Now let’s chat for a second about the character of the Glass Man.

Best Villain I have ever read

 Like EVER

Wanna lesson on how to write a villain?  Pick up Glass Man.  I mean DANG.  I actually found myself rooting for him most of the time.  He is just so darn bad you have to love him… and I just love a hot sexy villain.  He’s not bad… he’s doing the right thing!  Who cares if everyone else thinks he’s a psychopath?????

Pure brilliance on the villain, and I would LOVE to see a prequel that was based solely on his character.  There is a mention of an earlier event with the MC of this story where the villain actually “won”.  I would LOVE to see that made into a book.  Let’s cheer on that bad guy. Yahooooo!

Okay, so, if you didn’t catch my enthusiasm, I was trying to say that the villain was awesome, and for him alone, I will give this book an extra star.

So that’s a total of four stars for the Glass Man.  If you like paranormal stories, and can get in to a chase novel with a dash of romance and two supernatural being kicking the crud out of each other, you will just LOVE this.

JenniFer_EatonF

Related articles

12 Comments

Posted in Book/Movie Review

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Science is moving faster than Science Fiction

Posted on April 13, 2013 | 8 comments

There used to be a time when science fiction writing was safe.  The Earth didn’t have any really cool technology.  Times are changing.  As writers, we need to think up new and exciting things.  Our imaginations need to be bigger and better!

I recently read the attached article from Popular Science.  Click on over if you want details, but in a nutshell, MIT has created a synthetic/organic muscle that will respond to light.  They think they can create robots with this that will move fluidly.

Good thing?  Bad thing?  I’m all for progress.  But there’s a “but” in here somewhere.  What that “but” is will be up to the individual reader.

What I love when an article like this comes out, is the banter in the comments.  Some people make good points, some are just crazy.  Either way, it’s good entertainment.

If you like to write Sci-fi with robots, take a click on over and read the article.  There is definitely a great novel brewing in there.  – Just watch yourself, because there is fiction written about stuff like this that is forty years old or more.

I’ll pass on this, thanks… I like organic aliens, thank you very much.

http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2012-08/light-activated-muscle-could-make-robots-move-real-creatures

JenniFer_EatonF

Related articles

8 Comments

Posted in Senseless Ranting

Tagged , , , , , , ,