Tag Archives: novel

Write a Story with Me – Part 13 with Kai Damian – Laser guns? and WHAAAAT?

Here’s part thirteen, also known as HOLY FREAKING COW!

Dang, Kai.  Bring it girlfriend.

Now this is getting interesting.  Glad I’m not next!

“Can’t find anything wrong with her,” said the doctor after prodding and probing Marci’s frail body with a series of medigadgets. Behind him, Marci’s parents watched their daughter lie unconscious, her breath so shallow that they could have sworn no air was reaching her lungs.

“Then why isn’t she waking up?” Marci’s father asked. His wife broke into sobs as she sat next to her daughter and caressed her frozen cheek.

With trembling hands, the doctor packed his medigadgets away. “I’m sorry Protector Sumner, I wish I had an answer for you.” He watched Marci for a few moments, a wave of anguish washing over his face, then finally said, “Let’s give her twenty-four hours, and if she doesn’t wake up, we’ll take her in.”

“No, you can’t take her in, I won’t let you—”

“Natalia, please,” Marci’s father said, ending his wife’s lament with an icy stare. She lowered her gaze back on her daughter, silently acknowledging the mistake she almost made: rebel against the Establishment’s Rules under one of its servants’ eyes.

Nobody can tell the Establishment what they can and cannot do. What they can take. When they can take it. Even if the taken is someone’s child. It was a Rule solemnly recorded in the Tablet of Truth, which no planetary raider had ever defied.

Marci’s father thanked the doctor and showed him out, then rushed back to his daughter’s room.

“I’m sorry, my love,” he said gently, and kissed his wife’s forehead.

Natalia shook her head and squeezed his hand. “You did the right thing, dear,” she whispered and wiped off another tear. “But we need to bring her back, Yoran, before they can take her. I don’t think I can survive another Recall.” She rose to her feet with a pant, holding her belly with both hands. “I’ll go make some tea, you stay with her and think about our options,” she said and left lifeless Marci alone with her father.

He sat next to Marci and caressed her cheek. “Oh poppet, why won’t you come back?” he whispered and leaned his forehead against his daughter’s cold hand.

“Perhaps I can be of service.” The tiny voice reminded him of the crystal wind chimes hanging outside his daughter’s window. Hand on his laser gun, he turned around.

“What the—” were the only words he had time to utter before the sight of the enemy rendered him speechless. Speechless, but not mindless. Because in that moment, Yoran Sumner knew that the creature before him—the one he had learned to hate since he was a little boy—was about to turn him into a Rule breaker.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine – Vikki Thompson

Part Ten — Susan Rocan mywithershins

Part Eleven — Kate Johnston  AKA 4AMWriter

Part Twelve — Julie Catherine

Part Thirteen — Kai Damian

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Richard Leonard —- TAG!  You are “It”

Jon Gibbs’s Ten things I wish I knew… Final Thoughts – Thanks Jon!

Here are a few quotes from Jon Gibbs that I thought were good little snippets everyone could use.

Thank you again, Jon, for your words of wisdom, and for going out of your way to help aspiring authors to Learn from your Mistakes

1.        Dealing with shyness – He is shy.  He is afraid of public appearances.  To get through it, he imagines his grandmother saying “Okay go home – you will disgrace all your ancestors but that’s fine.”  It helps him to trudge on.

2.       Figure out what works best for you and then do that a lot

3.       Write what you like, even if it seems out of date.  If you enjoy it, someone else will, too.

4.       Winning a contest (small) and putting it in your query letter makes you look like a newbie.  Major awards are okay, though.

5.       Writer’s digest may seem good, but you have to pay to submit.  Don’t pay to submit.

6.       Slush readers trash “Dark and stormy night” openers and don’t read to the next line.

7.       Jon learns more about writing listening to others critique his writing.

8.       Young Adult needs a romantic element to be marketable*

*This is what a publisher told Jon when he was selling Fur Face as YA.  However, a friend of mine was just asked by a publisher to remove the romantic element because it made them uncomfortable.  You never know.

Jon Gibbs is the author of one of my son’s favorite books:  FUR-FACE, which was nominated for a Crystal Kite Award.

Jon is an Englishman transplanted to New Jersey, USA, where he is an ‘author in residence’ at Lakehurst Elementary School.  Jon is the founding member of The New Jersey Author’s Network and FindAWritingGroup.com.

Jon blogs at jongibbs.livejournal.com

Website: www.acatofninetales.com

Write a Story with Me – Part 12 With Julie Catherine “What’d she do?”

Yay!  It’s my favorite day of the week! If you are new to Write a Story with Me, please scroll down to see a list of previous posts.  Catch up on the story and have a great time!

Today we welcome miss Julie Catherine to the lineup.  Normally a mild-mannered poetess, Ms. Catherine brings on the intrigue this week.  What, oh what, has the devilish Bethany done????????

Read on below!

She laid the leaf gently on the outside sill of the window for the breeze to carry away, and flew to open the door.  Her father, still garbed in his stately Planetary Raiders Captain uniform, scooped his daughter into his arms and whirled her around, hugging her tightly enough that she protested laughingly that she couldn’t breathe.  Marci’s mother hovered behind, rubbing the gentle swell of her belly as she looked on, her face a mix of tolerance and motherly pride. Marci felt a pang of remorse at how quickly that pride would turn to anger if her parents ever learned of her friendship with the fairy, Janelle.

She shrugged off the worrisome thought— for now— slid from her father’s embrace to the floor, grabbed the Needletea pot and skipped down the stairs. “Come, Father”, she called, “tea-time!”

As her mother poured the tea and passed freshly baked scones still warm from the oven, Marci eagerly answered her father’s questions about school and her grades, pleased to be able to give him a glowing report. She was a good student and excelled in her studies. She slathered butter on her scone and nibbled on it thoughtfully;  her mind straying as her parents’ conversation turned to her father’s latest mission.

“… the Commander is convinced the portal can be found; and when it is, the troops will move in, and Argot will finally be rid of the parasitic scourge that threatens to affect the whole of the county!”

Marci’s hand froze, the scone inches away from her mouth, forgotten. Careful not to show any expression that would betray her thoughts, she replaced it gingerly on her plate and wrung her hands in the napkin on her lap, head bowed as she concentrated on wiping her sticky fingers in its folds.  She gulped through the sudden bile in her throat, her appetite replaced with fingers of dread that clawed the inside of her stomach.

She had to find a way to get word to Janelle!  Now!  If she didn’t, the fairies would be totally unprepared when disaster hit— they would be wiped out, all of them.  As much as she adored her father and it grieved her deeply to displease him, Marci could not allow that to happen to her friend; to her friend’s people. She could not condone Janelle’s murder— and that is exactly what would happen if she, Marci, didn’t find a way to warn her friend as soon as possible.

“Poppet, are you all right? You’re white as a sheet!”  Marci’s father’s voice sounded far away and her eyes were having trouble focusing on his face. The room was spinning, and she thought she was going to be sick.

Her father’s hand on her brow felt cool, and it shook slightly.  Suddenly he scooped his daughter into his arms and carried her slight form up the stairs, where he laid her gently on her bed and tucked a warm blanket around her.  Marci was shivering. Why then had her father called to her mother to get the doctor right away— that their daughter was dangerously feverish?  Marci couldn’t make sense of it; was too tired to think, so she closed her eyes and drifted ….

Down the hall, Bethany crouched, unmoving, in the shadows. A slow smile played on her lips as she slipped into her room and closed the door softly.

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Previous installments:

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine – Vikki Thompson

Part Ten — Susan Rocan mywithershins

Part Eleven — Kate Johnston  AKA 4AMWriter

Part Twelve — Julie Catherine

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Kai Damian —- TAG!  You are “It”

Jon Gibbs’s Ten things I wish I knew before I was published #10: Interaction is the name of the game

How you interact with others will have a HUGE impact on your careers

  • Join your first writing group ASAP and join as many as you can
  • Find other authors who might help you
  • Go to Writers conferences – You can meet people who can help you.  They might tell you where a conference is and you may meet someone there (agent publisher)
  • Remember, you will get a lot of useless information
  • But also remember, you will get some great information as well.

Note:  The above are Jon Gibb’s main speaking points, with my rambling opinions attached.

Jon Gibbs is the author of one of my son’s favorite books:  FUR-FACE, which was nominated for a Crystal Kite Award.

Jon is an Englishman transplanted to New Jersey, USA, where he is an ‘author in residence’ at Lakehurst Elementary School.  Jon is the founding member of The New Jersey Author’s Network and FindAWritingGroup.com.

Jon blogs at jongibbs.livejournal.com

Website: www.acatofninetales.com

Write a Story with Me – Part 11- Tying up the plot holes with Kate Johnston

Hey!  Someone’s paying attention!  Special thanks to the wonderfully talented Kate Johnston for noticing a little plot glitch in the story.

There was a discrepancy in the whereabouts of the Olden leaf. In installment 6
and 7, Janosc brings the Olden leaf to Gwydyon. But in Vikki’s passage, Marci
puts the Olden leaf in a pot.

What does a writer do????  Let’s find out with Kate’s installment.

Take it away, Kate!

As Marci hurried to greet her father, she wondered if she was wise to put the Olden leaf in the pot, a gift to her father from the Establishment. She’d been so upset over Janelle’s future that she hadn’t been thinking properly. Their family custom was to concoct Needletea in that pot upon her father’s return from his missions.

Move the leaf, Marci thought. She raced back upstairs and grabbed the leaf. Then she stopped.

This wasn’t the Olden leaf. This one had the wrong shape, and it wasn’t warm to the touch.

Where was the Olden leaf? Where did this ordinary leaf come from?

Marci hunted, but the Olden leaf was gone. Did Janelle take it?  No, she wouldn’t have taken it without telling her.

Then where…?

Wanna find out where?  Visit  4AMWriter’s blog to find out! Kate’s just getting started!  Part Eleven — Kate Johnston 

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine – Vikki Thompson

Part Ten — Susan Rocan

Part Eleven — Kate Johnston  AKA 4AMWriter

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Julie Cahterine —- TAG!  You are “It”

Write a Story with Me – Part 10 – Going after the Bro- By Susan Rocan

Susan Rocan ties two plotlines together this week, and leaves our next person with a devilishly great last line to work off of.

Here’s the beginning of Susan’s submission just as a tease.  You’ll have to hop on over to her site to see where she brings us.

Jenelle perched on a branch outside the window, listening to the joy
in Marci’s voice as she greeted her father. The wee fairy felt a pang
of longing, knowing that such a life was not going to be hers. With
tears clouding her eyes, Jenelle took a deep breath, flicked her wings
and sped across the meadow until her wings ached.

A familiar whirring caused her to whip around and hover, facing her
brother, defiantly.

“Why are you following me?” she demanded.

Wanna see more?  Of course you do!  So let’s hop on over to Susan’s site mywithershins to see what’s going to happen with our story this week!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine – Vikki Thompson

Part Ten — Susan Rocan

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

4amWriter —- TAG!  You are “It”

The Big Announcement! Writing to a Deadline AGAIN #4 The Big Announcement!

I am so excited to announce that I’ve just signed a contract with Still Moments Publishing to have my story Connect the Dots included in their 2012 Christmas Anthology.

This is totally unbelievable.  In January, I posted a big boisterous banner proclaiming that I WOULD BE PUBLISHED by the end of 2012.  It was quite a lofty goal for me, and now I will have two stories coming out this year.

I’m giddy with glee.

Hey, Canada.  Look South.  See that big bright light down in the USA?  That’s me smiling!

Oh, guys.  This is just so dern cool.  You have no idea.

Click here to see my query blurb and promo page for Connect the Dots.  Yeah, No explosions.  I was a good girl for Christmas.

Write a Story with Me – Part 9 What about the Queen? by Vikki Thompson

Miss Vikki from the View Outside kicks up the pace this week, and brings us back to Marci and Janelle.  I guess this should start chapter two — what do you think?

“Please Janosc, leave us!” Janelle glared at her brother.
“Very well, I will wait outside.”
Marci watched in awe, as his wings carried him out through the open window.
“I must apologise for my brother Marci, he always thinks he knows best.”
Janelle sat down on the bare wooden floor and crossed her pale delicate legs. Her wings folding elegantly behind her as she lowered herself. She patted the floor and Marci sat down in front of her.
“I’m really confused Janelle, what Janosc said, I…..”
“Well don’t do it then.” Marci pleaded.
Want to read more?  I sure do!  Come hop on over to Vikki’s blog with me!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Catching up?  Previous installments are listed below.

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine — Vikki Thompson

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Mywithershins —- TAG!  You are “It”

Road to Publication #14: Wow! It’s excerpt Time [She quakes with anticipation] Or is that FEAR?

Yay!  I finally have the okay to release an excerpt from my upcoming story Last Winter Red, which will be released December 3rd as part of J.Taylor Publishing’s Make Believe Anthology.

This is super-exciting stuff!

This is the first time I’ve seen my manuscript in a pretty long time, which is a little nerve-wracking, since it’s been in the hands of editors.  I haven’t even approved the finals yet.  **GACK**

Soooo… without further ado, here is the premier of the first 500 words of Last Winter Red.

Enjoy! (This is me, holding my breath)

Four Days Before Spring

Any less than forty-five vials wouldn’t be enough. Emily tucked the crimson cloth around the containers in her basket and continued down the long, stark corridor leading to Terra’s south exit. As usual, the hallway was empty; no one else would be foolish enough to leave the city, especially a few days before spring when the weather was so unpredictable.

The soft patter of footsteps came as her mother rounded the corner. The woman’s red dress stood out from the white walls and gray ceramic tiles, swishing at her ankles until she stopped. Her eyes narrowed, gaze settling on her daughter’s basket.

Emily continued toward the exit. “We’re not having this conversation again, Mother.”

“You can’t keep going out there. It isn’t safe.”

Emily reached the door and unlatched the lock. “I have to. The people outside need this medicine.”

“But what if you catch the disease?”

Emily sighed and released the latch. “I told you they medicate me each time I go to the village. I’ll be fine.”

Black ringlets fell over her mother’s brow as she shook her head. “You’re my oldest daughter. You should be setting an example, not traipsing around outside with the vermin.”

Pulling her crimson cloak over her hair, Emily tucked in her own dark tresses. “These people need my help.”

“You couldn’t care less about those people. It’s that renegade doctor you’re helping. It always has been.”

Emily lowered her gaze. Her mother knew her all too well. “My husband is dead, Mother. I need to find someone else.”

“That is the duty of the scribes. They’ll assign you another.”

“Who? When? I’m twenty-three years old. You already had four children by the time you were my age. If they were going to find another husband for me, they would have done so. I will not spend the rest of my life alone like a sorry Gray.” Emily struggled against tears threatening to break free. “George is a good man … a doctor and a Red. When his work is done, he will come back with me.”

“Did he tell you that?”

Emily blinked. “Not in so many words…”

“You are placing your life in danger for something that may never happen.”

“You taught me it’s our duty as Reds to be fruitful … to support the growth of humanity.” Emily quaked with angry resentment. “I have no children to show to the Council. I am nothing. I need to find a new husband.”

Her mother’s countenance didn’t change, and she offered no words of encouragement.

“I’m going, Mother. And this time, I’m not coming back alone.” Emily pushed the door open. A chill slapped her face.

“What if he’s contracted the disease?”

Emily’s hand tensed on the doorframe. “If he hadn’t been careful, he’d have been dead by now.” She stepped out and slammed the door before her mother could offer further argument.

Whooooosh… Okay, that was me breathing again.

Now I’m cringing. **GACK***

So…. What did you think? 😐

If you liked this, you may want to hop over to see what my lovely and talented co-authors have for you.  They might just have a little excerpt for you to read, too!

http://jabelfield.wordpress.com/

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com/

http://terrirochenski.blogspot.com/

http://kellysaid.com/

http://lyndaryoung.blogspot.com/

Write a Story with Me – Part 8 – Bring on the Teen writers. Go Ravena!

Whoot Whoot!  It’s write a story with me day!  The lovely miss Ravena is jumping in from the UK.  What an Awesome International team we have.

Doesn’t this totally rock that all these people from across the world are jumping in on this together. And the story is really coming together.  If you are new, check out the links below to start fresh or in case you missed a post.

Without further ado, hop on a plane (or car, or balloon, or blimp… whatever you need) to read Ravena Guron’s addition to Write a Story with Me!

Go Ravena!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton (USA)

Part Two – J. Keller Ford (USA)

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Vicki from the View Outside —- TAG!  You are “It”