Tag Archives: Publishers

Critique Blog Hop #3 – 250 words from my YA Urban Fantasy

Sunday_Snippets

Oh Yeah!  It’s the  Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued.  Then everyone hops around to critique others.  Don’t have a post of your own?  We’d love a critique anyway!  And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)

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Okay… Here’s mine.  This is the second 250 words of my new YA Urban Fantasy: “The First Day of the New Tomorrow”.  In the First 250 words, Maya is in the bathroom getting ready for school.  She put on her glasses, and her vision got blurry.

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“What the…” She grabbed the counter and pulled the metal frames from her face.  The room slipped into perfect crisp focus again.  Three slow breaths calmed her only slightly.

A ray of sunshine poked through the white lace curtain, landing on a towel beside the bathtub.  A spider web clung to the ceiling, holding more dust than forgotten prey.  Three nails popped through the wall near the door—all normal things, except she could see them clearly—just as clearly as she could see her glasses perched on the counter before her.

“Okayyy…”  She lifted the spectacles to her eyes, crinkling her nose as the world blurred before her. She stared at the lenses.  “Teenager’s eyesight clears up overnight.  News at eleven.”  She smiled and slipped the glasses into her pocket.  “I’m certainly not complaining.”

She trudged down the stairs and found her mother’s obligatory, “Don’t forget to eat breakfast” note fastened to the refrigerator door—as if she’d even look at the fridge if she weren’t already in breakfast mode.

Rifling past the food savers and soda cans, she sighed.  Would a few eggs be too much to ask for? She grabbed the milk and closed the door.  Cereal would have to do.  Spinning, she pursed her lips, seeing the nearly empty Cheerios container on the counter.  Great.  Eat breakfast, but I’m not leaving anything for you to eat.

She reopened the refrigerator and startled.  Three eggs lay beside last night’s spaghetti sauce, neatly balancing on the wired shelving.  How the heck could she have missed them before?

“Okay, eggs it is.”

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The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

http://mermaidssinging.wordpress.com/

http://caitlinsternwrites.wordpress.com/

http://ileandrayoung.com

http://wyrmflight.wordpress.com/

http://www.mandyevebarnett.com

http://womanbitesdog.wordpress.com/

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

https://jennifermeaton.com/

http://richardleonard.wordpress.com

http://jordannaeast.com

http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com

http://threepiecebikini.blogspot.com/

http://itsjennythewren.wordpress.com/

http://writerscrash.blogspot.co.uk/

http://wehrismypen.wordpress.com

http://wordsbreathedupon.wordpress.com/blog/

Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

Sunday_SnippetsOh Yeah!  It’s the  Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued.  Then everyone hops around to critique others.  Don’t have a post of your own?  We’d love a critique anyway!  And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)

swish swivel squiggle 2

Okay… Here’s mine.  This is the extremely newly revised first 250-ish words of my Young Adult Urban Fantasy “Fire in the Woods.”   My goal is to start submitting this to publishers within the next month, so I need these page to really shine!

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The bed rumbled beneath me as the shrill scream of jet engines ruined a perfectly good daydream.  “Dad!  The stinking Air Force is flying over the houses again!” I turned up the volume on my MP3 player, closed my eyes and lost myself in musical bliss—until my pink earphones popped out of my ears.

“I said, what do you expect me to do about it.” Dad dropped the earbuds on my lap and folded his way-too muscular arms.

“I don’t know.  You’re the Army, aren’t you?  Go invade them or something.”

His lips set as his eyebrows rose, twitching the spikey hairs where a normal person’s bangs would be.  “Invade them?”

“I don’t know.  Do something.  It’s annoying.”

A smile crossed his lips.  “How about we…”

The room rattled around us as the engines of another plane throttled overhead, followed by another. Dad crouched as if ducking, his six-foot body instantly folding with military precision.

I pulled my pillow tightly to my thin frame.  “What…”

“Shhh.” His hand shot out, silencing me instantly as a rattling resonance echoed through my open window.  “That sounds like…”  His eyes widened.  “Jess, get down!”

A huge boom throttled my ears, barraging my mind with an infestation of sound.  Dad’s hand gripped my arm, pulling me to the floor before he shielded my body with his own.

The ground shook, and a soda can shimmied off my dresser, smashing to the floor and fizzling all over the carpet.  I slammed my palms over my ears, cringing as the explosion quaked the walls around us.

swish swivel squiggle 2

The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

http://mermaidssinging.wordpress.com/

http://caitlinsternwrites.wordpress.com/

http://ileandrayoung.com

http://wyrmflight.wordpress.com/

http://www.mandyevebarnett.com

http://womanbitesdog.wordpress.com/

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

https://jennifermeaton.com/

http://richardleonard.wordpress.com

http://jordannaeast.com

http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com

http://wehrismypen.wordpress.com

http://writerscrash.blogspot.co.uk/

http://itsjennythewren.wordpress.com

Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

Sunday_SnippetsOh Yeah!  It’s the very first Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop!

In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued.  Then everyone hops around to critique others.  Don’t have a post of your own?  We’d love a critique anyway!  And next time you can sign up yourself (see below)

swish swivel squiggle 2

Okay… Here’s mine.  This is the first 250-ish words of The First Day of the New Tomorrow.  This is very fresh writing.  I’m only about five pages into the story.  This is a Young Adult Urban Fantasy.

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There just wasn’t enough cover-up in the world. Maya blended in the last dab, concealing the tenth new blemish this week, and it was only Thursday. In her next life, she’d be a Bavarian princess with perfect skin.  Yeah.  That’d be good.

She slipped on her bifocals and brushed a few of her dark bangs over the more hideous zits on her forehead and took stock.  The acne she could cover up, but the ugly glasses?

“I wish I didn’t have to wear these stupid things,” she told her reflection.  It smirked.  Even her reflection thought she looked like a geek.  Great.

Maya spun and headed for the door, but banged her head dead center on the doorframe.  The world blurred around her, and she grabbed the wall for support. “Owe.” Her hand shot to her forehead.  Everything still seemed to be attached.

Blinking, she tried to focus.  On all sides, a fuzzy halo bent and distorted the world into a crazy Picasso painting.  Nauseous, she closed her eyes and slid to the floor.

She couldn’t be sick.  She had to go to school today.  She’d studied her butt off last night and refused to miss that stinking History test.

Maya removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes. Blinking hard, she stared at the toilet bowl until it came into perfect focus. He stomach settled.  Better.  Whew! She slipped on her glasses and tried to stand, but the fuzzy haze came back.

“What the…” She grabbed the counter and pulled off her glasses.

swish swivel squiggle 2

The Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop is on!

Want to join up? Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!swish swivel squiggle 2

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

http://mermaidssinging.wordpress.com/

http://caitlinsternwrites.wordpress.com/

http://ileandrayoung.com

http://wyrmflight.wordpress.com/

http://www.mandyevebarnett.com

http://womanbitesdog.wordpress.com/

http://jennykellerford.wordpress.com

https://jennifermeaton.com/

http://richardleonard.wordpress.com

http://jordannaeast.com

http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com

http://writerscrash.blogspot.com/2013/01/critique-blog-hop.html?showComment=1359314347792#c7304398839545720473

JenniFer_EatonF

What’s in your earphones? It’s Release Day! “For the Love of Christmas”

“Write a Story with me” will be back December 25th  Cause now….

Let me tell you… when I made a bold statement last New Years that I would be published this year.. I NEVER IMAGINED I would have back-to-back release dates in December!

Total Awesomeness!

So, What’s in your earphones? What inspires you, and where do your musical tastes come from?

Stop on over to Nicky Well’s website and let’s chat about it. I’m guest blogging over there and ready to have a little fun!

This is stop #1 of the “For the Love of Christmas” blog tour.

Come on!  Let’s go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Click me to space warp to the musical side!

Nicky’s Website

New Award! Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award.

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I was just granted the Sisterhood of the World Blogger award from the lovely and talented Emaginette.

Thanks so much girlfriend!

Okay so, of course I need to do something for this.

Seven things about myself, huh?

Hmmm.  Let’s think of something different than I’ve said before.

1.  I’m writing this at 11:50 PM.  My bedtime is 10:30.  My doctor hates my blogging schedule

2.  I spend more time grooming my dog than I do grooming myself

3.  My kids (6,8,11) are all better at math than me.

4.  My husband has not read any of the stories I’ve had published.

5.  I don’t have any shoes on right now.

6. My iphone ruined my life.  Now I can’t get away from my blog.

7. Chocolate is the only necessary nutrient in my diet.

Okay!  I need to nominate people!  Hee Hee Hee.

I don’t know that there are any criteria for this, so I’m gonna nominate the top commenters on my blog.  How’s that sound?

Here you go… in no particular order….

Let’s cut the Crap – http://letscutthecrap.wordpress.com/

Jenny Keller Ford – jennykellerford.wordpress.com

Vanessa Chapman – vanessachapman.wordpress.com
Ravena Guron – ravenaguron.blogspot.co.uk/
Congrats, guys!  And Thanks for Contributing!
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