Tag Archives: Fiction

Write a Story with Me – Part 9 What about the Queen? by Vikki Thompson

Miss Vikki from the View Outside kicks up the pace this week, and brings us back to Marci and Janelle.  I guess this should start chapter two — what do you think?

“Please Janosc, leave us!” Janelle glared at her brother.
“Very well, I will wait outside.”
Marci watched in awe, as his wings carried him out through the open window.
“I must apologise for my brother Marci, he always thinks he knows best.”
Janelle sat down on the bare wooden floor and crossed her pale delicate legs. Her wings folding elegantly behind her as she lowered herself. She patted the floor and Marci sat down in front of her.
“I’m really confused Janelle, what Janosc said, I…..”
“Well don’t do it then.” Marci pleaded.
Want to read more?  I sure do!  Come hop on over to Vikki’s blog with me!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Catching up?  Previous installments are listed below.

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton

Part Two – J. Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Part Nine — Vikki Thompson

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Mywithershins —- TAG!  You are “It”

Writing to a Deadline AGAIN #3 — OMIGOSH! You Gotta be kidding me!

You know the drill.  This is all I’m allowed to say.

Need a Hint?

Writing to a Deadline AGAIN #1

Writing to a Deadline AGAIN #2

Search and Destroy in the Editing Phase

Daily Writing Tips recently had an article explaining bad writing compared to poor writing.  The one part of the article that struck me was the end.

They presented a list which I will admit (giving them total credit) that I copied and pasted below.  I only want to talk about #5, but I am including the entire list, because I think there are a lot of writers out there who can benefit from it.

Here we go:  Total credit to Dailywritingtips.com (If you want to see the whole article, the link is below)

———————————————————————-

Here are some tips on avoiding the pitfalls of bad writing:

1. Be Fresh
The purpose of metaphor and simile is to evoke recognition by comparison or allusion. Write these analogies to aid your readers with your clarity of vision, not to serve your ego, and avoid clichés.

2. Be Clear
When drafting expository fiction or nonfiction, record your voice as you spontaneously describe a scene or explain a procedure, transcribe your comments, and base your writing on the transcription, revising only to select more vivid verbs and more precise nouns and to seek moderation in adverbs and adjectives.

3. Be Active
Use the passive voice judiciously.

4. Be Concise
Write tight.

5. Be Thorough
Accept that writing is the easy part; it’s the revision that makes or breaks your project — and requires most of your effort.

———————————————-

Okay then… end credit to daily writing tips.

(On a side note:  If anyone needs clarification on anything in the list above, let me know and I will do my best to translate.)

Let’s talk about #5.

This is near and dear to my heart, as I have just finished a roller-coaster ride self-imposed deadline of 5,000 words a week to finish a novel in 10 weeks.

I finished my first draft four weeks ahead of schedule, and dropped myself into editing.

Is my story great?  Well, of course it is! It’s my idea and I love it.

Is it well written…

Umm well, it will be.

Now is the tough part.  I need to attack all the sneaky “tell” that slipped in when I wasn’t looking.  I need to describe bronzed skin rather than telling “his skin was bronzed.”

Luckily enough, I have many words to spare, as I ended up short on my word-count target.  I have plenty of room to expand.

Right now, it is “search and destroy” on “Felt” “was” “it” and all those other nasty little tell markers.

I was paying attention this time around, and I tried my best not to have blatant run-on tell passages (as I’ve been guilty of in the past)  which is good, but all of my tell is now “subtle”.  It is the kind that will probably slip past most publishers.  But I don’t just want this to be a good novel.  I want it to be a great one.

Yes, it is this revision process that will make or break this novel.

I am approaching it by not reading for flow yet.  I am just looking for all those “little nasties”.  Once I think I am “nasty free” I will read for flow, and then ship off to betas, trusting them to slap me upside the head for everything else I may have missed.

How do you “search and destroy” during the editing phase?

Write a Story with Me – Part 8 – Bring on the Teen writers. Go Ravena!

Whoot Whoot!  It’s write a story with me day!  The lovely miss Ravena is jumping in from the UK.  What an Awesome International team we have.

Doesn’t this totally rock that all these people from across the world are jumping in on this together. And the story is really coming together.  If you are new, check out the links below to start fresh or in case you missed a post.

Without further ado, hop on a plane (or car, or balloon, or blimp… whatever you need) to read Ravena Guron’s addition to Write a Story with Me!

Go Ravena!

If you’d like to sign up, come on over.  There’s always room for more!

Part One – Jennifer M. Eaton (USA)

Part Two – J. Keller Ford (USA)

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four – Elin Gregory

Part Five – Eileen Snyder

Part Six – Mikaela Wire

Part Seven — Vanessa Chapman

Part Eight — Ravena Guron

Don’t forget to stop by next week to see what happens next.

Vicki from the View Outside —- TAG!  You are “It”

Six Sentence Sunday – A blast from the past. This is funny.

It’s Six Sentence Sunday again.  Today’s is gonna give you a giggle. I’m going to allow you to wallow in my ineptness.

If you haven’t heard, Six Sentence Sunday is a group of people who mostly post their own work, but I just shoot out six sentences of whatever takes my fancy.  Sometimes what I’m writing, or sometimes what I’m reading.  If you want to find out more, click here.  Visit Six Sentence Sunday Site.

I’m still reading Oracle by JC Martin.  I didn’t want to post another 6 sentences from the same work, so I was sitting here at my desk, and I saw a printed copy of my early novel HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT hanging out, feeling abandoned.

I thought it would be fun to open it up to a random page, and just pick six sentences.

Now… I wrote this well over a year ago, maybe even two years, as last year at this time I was editing it.  I laughed when I read this passage.  I am going to curtail my inner-editor and post it exactly as it is printed.  Mistakes and all.

Yes, thank goodness, I have come incredibly far in a little over a year.

At his feet, an arbor bug struggled to scale a small mound of dirt.

Harris sighed as he watched it.  Why doesn’t it just walk around it?  After it fell back for the third time, Harris flattened the mound with his foot, and the small creature continued on its way.  He closed his eyes and smiled, actually finding gratification in helping something so small.  Would Daniel Hyelven have done that?

OMIGOSH!  Can you stand how much tell is in those six sentences?

Did I really use the word “it” four times in the same line?

This is really embarrassing.   I just couldn’t believe it, but I thought it would be worth a laugh.

I just love this story, and someday I will go back and fix it.  After looking at this paragraph, I know it will be a huge undertaking. 🙂

Hope you got a good giggle!

Scoping out locations for your novel #3: Road Trip! (Contes Farm)

In scoping out locations in South Jersey for my new Novel, I needed a farm that was between point A and an airport.  Last week, we visited the airport, and it was perfect.  Would the farm be that good?

I clicked on the GPS and started driving.  First problem:  It’s too far away.  I need it far away, but not this far.  There is another farm option, but that one is actually too close to its local airport.

Erghhh!  The woes of real-life locations.

As I’m driving though, I figure out a way to make it work.  I just need to tweak something just a little bit.  Yeah, I decided, it will work, and it will be much easier than trying to make the one that’s too close to the airport “fit” into the story.

We headed out into farm country, and I kept repeating:  “Please be surrounded by woods… please be surrounded by woods.”

We turned onto a road, and pulled up to the small farm-stand building. Conte’s Farm.  Hmmm… not as grand as I had expected, but the building is not important.  I dragged all the kids out of the car, and announced we were going out into the fields to pick our own fruit.  Boy, did their faces light up!

It’s funny, with all the things they were guessing as we were driving, I was afraid they would be disappointed.  Wow, were they excited.

We went to the back and got our baskets.  “So, how does this work?” I asked.

“He’ll be there in a minute to bring you out,” she said.

Much to my joy, and my kid’s excitement, a tractor pulled up with a big trailer attached with seats on it.

Perfect, since I’d already written this scene, and there was a tractor in it.  We loaded up and he pulled us out into the fields which were HUGE.  Much bigger than I had written, but that’s fine.  An easy fix.

I shielded my eyes, and scanned the far reaches of the fields.  They were surrounded on three sides with a very thick forest.  Wahooo!  And the woods were even on the correct side, heading toward the airport.

Happiness abounding, we set out to pick our strawberries and had a blast.  “Nice tractor guy” picked us up a while later and dropped us off at the blueberry fields.  The weather was perfect, and we had tons of fun picking fruit.

Note of caution-if everyone in your group has their own buckets, you may be coming home with five pounds of blueberries… Just say’n.

Anyway… next hurdle…

As we checked out, I asked if they have anything fruiting in August (That’s when my novel takes place, and I really didn’t want to change that.)

“Yes, that’s peach season.”

YES!  I’d already written about peaches… and I was worried, because they didn’t mention peaches on their web-site.

Two locations down… the farm and the airport.

Point A would be a little more of a trip… for another day.

My next challenge is to find a hotel within a reasonable distance to this farm.

That, unfortunately, may be the hardest part of all of this.  I might have to make one up.

What do you think of “making up” a location, where all other locations are “real”?  I may be able to fudge it, by being hazy on the address of the hotel.  Whaddya think?

Review of The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan – by the Monomaniacle Middle Grade Reviewer

The Monomaniacle Middle Grade Reviewer talks up the Last Percy Jackson Novel (What Ever will he read now?) The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan

“Total Awesomeness” — even if he can’t spell it… and you can watch Chloe trying to catch the fish in the tank behind him just for grins ans giggles, too.

Write A Story With Me Number 6 Mikeala Wire

Yay!  It’s time for  A write a story with me update!  There is so much going on that sometimes it makes my tail spin.

My brain had this cute little simple fantasy story in my head, but we have gone through so many twist ant turns I’m having trouble keeping it all straight!

This week we are taking a pleasant little trip over to lovely Rotterdam with My So Called Dutch Life.  Mikaela Wire is a little nervous, because she says she’s not a writer.  I think she did a great job.  Be sure to leave her some words of encouragement after reading!

Click on the link below to be jet-packed on high speed to the Netherlands.

Take it away Mikeala!

http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/write-a-story-with-me/#comment-920

If you need to catch up, you can view previous installments through the link below.

Here are the previous installments:

Part One – Jennifer M Eaton

Part Two – Jenny Keller Ford

Part Three – Susan Roebuck

Part Four by — Elin Gregory

Part Five — Eileen Snyder

Part Six — Mikaela Wire

Stop by next Tuesday to see what happens next!

Vanessa Chapman… TAG You’re it!

Good Luck, Vanessa!

Wow. I hated this book. I mean, I REALLY hated it.

My son (the MMGR) asked me what I was reading yesterday.  I gave him the title.  He asked if it was good.  I laughed and said, “No, actually it is really bad.”

 

“So why are you still reading it?” he asked.

I smiled and said:  “I am taking notes to make sure I never write like this.”

I am going to save the writer the pain of giving you the title of the novel or the author’s name, but I thought this experience was worth mentioning.

I picked up this novel for free from the author.  It was one of those things where the author gives away book one, with a teaser of another book at the end, and links (in Kindle) to where you can buy the next four books in the series if you liked this one.

Did I buy the rest of the books?  Ahhhhhh…. No.

Giving away Book One is a perfectly sound practice to drum up an audience to buy more of your work and get your name out there… IF YOUR WORK IS GOOD.

This was so sad.  Really, it was.

This was a self-published novel.  Now, self-publishing is fine… IF YOU ARE READY.  This novel read like a third or fourth draft that had never had a beta read.  There were a few typos, missing dialog tags, etc.

I can forgive that.  The big problem here was the Show versus Tell issues.  I never really became immersed into the story.  I always felt like I was reading a book.  I never had a problem putting it down, because each page was kind of dull.

The story revolved around an orphan girl, who finds out on her eighteenth birthday that she is a witch.  A male witch takes her from her “normal” life to train her and teach her the ropes.  He is handsome.  You know what?  He is handsome.  Oh, yeah, did I mention… he is handsome.  That’s all I know because she never said anything else about what he looked like.

These two characters don’t like each other to begin with.  Then suddenly, out of the blue, he mentions that he’s engaged, and he doesn’t want to get married.  They decide (in one page) to pretend they’ve fallen in love so he can get out of it. The next page, in a big tell section, she falls for him, and then BOOM he says he’s fallen for her and they end up in bed together.  From dislike to bed in two pages.

Then in the last few pages the fiancée (I guess the bad guy girl) materializes and is ticked about the relationship.  Where’d she come from? I’d never even heard of her until about six pages ago.

This was a short story/novella.  If it was written properly, it could have been a solid novel, and very exciting.  I felt like I was reading an elongated synopsis.

Was the story good?  Well, yes, it could have been great.  It just was not ready for publication.

This is what scares me about self-published novels.  So many are just not ready.  If you want to self-publish, go ahead.  Good luck to you… just PLEASE pay your dues.  Get at least five hyper-critical betas and LISTEN TO THEM.  You don’t need to change everything, but get lots of opinions.

NOTE:  The betas CANNOT be your Mom or Dad.  Let’s be real, here. Get yourself an editor, too.  Get opinions on your story arc.  Develop you characters and your story.  Don’t rush things just to get something “out there.”

I feel bad, because this story had a lot of potential, and could have been great if it was actually finished before it was published.

If you are going for traditional publishing, the publisher will tell you if it is ready or not by giving you a contract.  For me, that nod is priceless, because I know then that my story is ready, and I won’t have someone blogging about me (and maybe not being as nice as me, and using my name **GACK**)

Please don’t get caught in this trap.  Give your story the attention and work that it deserves.  Pay your dues, and make sure you are ready.

And by pay your dues – I don’t mean that traditional is the “only way”.  I mean don’t skip the steps that will make the difference between a really bad review… and a slew of awesome reviews.  Give your novel the time and attention it needs in the editing phase before you publish.

Enough said.

OMIGOSH! I missed a Post! But I had a good reason!

Ugh.  I got home tonight, totally exhausted, and realised I had no FLash Fiction for  Flash Fiction Friday On Wednesday.

Oh!  I have failed you **Sob Sob**

But I have a really good reason.  Tonight I attended a critique session with a group of local writers.  I have a love/hate relationship with these things.  For one thing, I get really tired of saying the same things over and over again.  sometimes I wish I could just be the queen of cut and paste.

So… why do I do it?  Because someone a few years ago saw a glint of hope in a little newbie writer called Jennifer Eaton, and took the time to SLASH THE HOLY HECK out of her work, and then explain why.

Someone took the time to help me, and now is my time to give that little bit of help back.  That’s also why I do this blog.

Now, this is not to say I am the one-stop know it all about writing.  ‘Cause I know I’m not… but I do have a lot of experience at this point that I can relay to others.

So, yes, I groan over first time critiques… but I love when I get to talk to people and explain things to them, and have their eyes light up with an “ah-ha” moment.

There were mostly new people tonight, so I was starting from scratch, but one girl had been critiqued by me before, and her writing was SO MUCH BETTER than last time… I was SO EXCITED for her.  Congrats, Dawn!

I really love when I can relay a little of what I’ve learned.  It is so much better to learn from my mistakes than making these mistakes yourself.

And what did I get in return for my personal critiques?  An overwhelming consensus that my Main Character in my new WIP  Fire in the Woods is fourteen years old.

Why is this significant?  BECAUSE SHE’S SEVENTEEN.

So… back to editing my first few pages… where they thought the problem lay.

And sorry for missing flash fiction.  My mind is just a pile of goo.

Time for Bed!  Good night!